If you’ve seen the Volvo commercial, then you know the voice. Once you’ve heard it, it’s impossible to banish it from your head.
In the ad, an other-worldly, tinny, high-pitched voice implores us to “be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you everybody else.”
It sounds like some fun-house god issuing instructions to mankind over a cheap megaphone. Listen up:
That voice gave me goose bumps, but I wasn’t quite sure why. Then I remembered. I’d heard that voice before, and so had poor Doris Day in 1960’s Midnight Lace:
Listen, I’m not into guns. But for some reason, I find this short video of Daily Caller reporter Stephanie Hamill (above) both disturbing and mesmerizing:
Journalist Allysia Finley, pictured above, has an, ah, interesting way of speaking:
Makes me wonder if she’s related to, ah, this guy:
Now that the Ferris Bueller report has finally been completed, we can all get back to normal.
Ha ha ha.
Sadly, these words of wisdom from Reuters’s Jeff Mason are much more likely:
“The fact that there is a conclusion is a start.”
Far be it from us to hold a grudge, but after we were promised an interview with the female star of the new movie Long Lost and were then snubbed by said actress, well, let’s just say it was a very sad day at The Grouchy Editor office.
We can’t imagine why Catherine Corcoran, who is actually quite good in the movie (that’s her pictured above; our review is here), developed cold feet over our interview. Could it be that she feared we might ask about her Carrie-inspired nude scene in Return to Nuke ’em High (below)?
Or did she suspect that we might compliment her on her Instagram posts, like this one?
Perhaps she didn’t care for this question in our interview: “That hanging upside-down business in Terrifier – were you ever in danger of passing out from all the downward blood flow?”
But most likely, she felt burned by glowing “tributes” like this one from Mr. Skin:
Goodness. We would never be that crude and vulgar.
Let’s check in one more time with poor Doris Day and the Voice from Hell:
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