Category: Weekly Reviews

 

I’m thinking that Fauci would make a great Bond villain. In fact, he might turn out to be one of the greatest villains of the 21st century.

Put that on your magazine cover.

 

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What happened on that New Mexico movie set was a tragedy, no question.

But it’s hard to summon much sympathy for Alec Baldwin, who seemed to take glee in condemning the cop in this fatal shooting:

 

 

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I’m more of an “ass man” than a “tits man” (no offense, tits; I like you too), so I don’t have a problem with the new shorts that Hooters is trying to introduce for its female employees. I can understand, though, why some girls are against it. After all, it’s easier to accentuate your assets up top, what with push-up bras and whatever else they use, than it is to disguise a flabby ass.

But these TikTok girls who are making a fuss about the shorts are lying to us. They claim they don’t want to be exposed, down low, on the job, and they exhibit how awful that is by wearing the shorts and … exposing their down low to the world. Yeah, right.

But since the girls are hellbent on showing us how awful the shorts are, we feel obligated to help advance their cause:

 

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This Biden-Beavis thing might be funny except for the fact that anything Biden-related is no longer funny. It’s nightmarish.

 

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I have mixed feelings about the resurrection of Cops (the TV show — although Officer Friendly rising from the dead might be kind of interesting). On the one hand, I’m not a fan of cancel culture, so when a small group of angry radicals on Twitter does not get its way, for once, that’s welcome news. However … I never cared much for Cops because it exploits poor people at the worst moments of their lives. All in the name of entertainment.

What’s that, you say? The downtrodden deplorables can always refuse to be on the show by declining to sign a release? Technically true, or so I’ve read.

But if you’ve ever been snared by the criminal justice system, you know there’s enormous pressure to please the cop/judge/parole officer, or whoever controls your fate. If you sense that they want you to be on the show (because they will also get to be on TV), you’ll probably sign the damn release. Anything to make your life a bit easier.

Finally, I’m going to go out on a limb and speculate that most of the working-class subjects of Cops do not have high-priced lawyers or media consultants to advise them on the long-term consequences of their appearance on the show. At least on Jerry Springer, the guests know what they’re in for.

 

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Sorry, but I have little interest in Adele or her new album. As a non-fan who does not follow her travails in the entertainment media, Adele strikes me as the British version of Taylor Swift — a singer who whines a lot.

 

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Survivor, like its CBS cousin Big Brother, has gone all “woke.” This is bad news for CBS cameramen and horny males in the audience, because hot chicks and gratuitous T&A shots are rapidly becoming no-nos. But we dirty old men still get a few breadcrumbs, such as these shots of 20-year-old Liana Wallace’s booty:

 

 

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From the “Department of Stories We Don’t Worry Enough About”

 

 

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Vaccine Hysteria

 

I wonder if the people who are demanding that everyone get the virus vaccine recognize themselves in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Just like the vaccine-demanders in 2021, the pod people in Snatchers are encouraged to snitch on holdouts, shame them in public, and not rest until everyone conforms to what their leaders demand.

The original Snatchers is generally interpreted as a critique of the 1950s red scare.

Today the bad guys are neighbors who rat you out or sit silent while the state attempts to force everyone to bend to its will.

 

 

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I keep reading that the best way to undo the damage done by progressives during the Biden regime is to vote the bastards out of office in next year’s election.

Problem is, the fruit loops in charge have done so much harm, so fast, that I’m not sure we can wait that long. Voting them out of office will be too little, too late.

Exhibit A: illegal immigration. The only way to “undo” the harm done by opening the floodgates to hundreds of thousands — millions, if you count the illegals already here — of newcomers draining the system is massive deportations.

But how would you like to be the president in charge of that, accused by leftist media of “tearing families apart”? I can see the headlines now, comparing that unlucky president to Hitler rounding up the Jews in Nazi Germany.

 

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Yeah, I can relate to poor Webber.

I haven’t attended that many plays during my days here on Earth, but I’ve only walked out of one. Back in the early 1990s, a touring production of Webber’s Cats came to Dallas. I could not make it through the first act. My then-wife and I made a dash for the exit.

I did not, however, buy a therapy dog.

 

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I finished Denmark’s The Killing, and the show mostly lives up to its positive hype. There are twenty (long) episodes, but nearly all of them are absorbing and certainly “binge worthy.”

The one thing I preferred about the American remake was the ending, in which we finally found out Who Done It. The Danish finale was a bit anti-climactic; not so with AMC’s version.

 

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My Twitter suspension is over. Not at all sure whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

 

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Rip’s Lament

 

“Suspended from Twitter. Again. At this point, I pretty much consider it a badge of honor.

“My sin? A certain politician was quoted as saying things could only ‘go back to normal’ if 98 percent of the population got vaccinated. I simply voiced my opinion that things would only ‘go back to normal’ if something, uh, rather unfortunate happens to that politician.”

 

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Yeah … I guess so.

Problem is, the depiction of rich American capitalists as foul-mouthed, lecherous, sociopathic sadists is so broad and hyperbolic that it’s almost comical. That broadside at “capitalism,” featured in the closing episodes, is one of the show’s few weak points.

 

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Biden and his “advisors” are criminals who are destroying the country. That’s all you need to know.

 

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TV Updates

 

Netflix’s Squid Game is getting a lot of positive buzz, and deservedly so. If I describe the show’s plot, you might immediately think of The Hunger Games. Or Battle Royale. Or, going back even farther, The Most Dangerous Game.

As in those earlier movies, Squid presents a group of people put into an untenable situation: Kill or be killed.

Been there, done that, you might understandably conclude.

But here’s what distinguishes Squid from its thematic forebears: In this case, enough thought has been put into the characters so that, as a viewer, you will care about who wins and who loses. You will root for some and hiss at others. Sorry, but in The Hunger Games, I really only gave a damn about Jennifer Lawrence because, well, she’s Jennifer Lawrence.

Also, in Squid Game each of the six deadly children’s games the participants are asked to endure is tense and exciting.

 

South Korea is on a Netflix roll. Squid Game’s polar opposite, the comedy/drama/mystery You Are My Spring, was a charming delight. It made me want to move to South Korea.

Squid Game makes me want to stay put. But I highly recommend it.

 

 

Spoiler Alert!

 

 

For years now, I’ve been wanting to watch the much-praised Forbrydelsen (in English, The Crime), which debuted in 2007 and was then remade as an American series called The Killing.

The original was a Danish hit and is credited with inspiring the Nordic noir craze that led to the success of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Bridge, and too many others to mention.

My problem was that Forbrydelsen was hard to find. It was never on Netflix and, as far as I could tell, was only available for purchase on DVD — an expensive purchase, at that.

But it’s now available on Amazon Prime, and I’m about halfway through the first season. So far, it almost lives up to expectations. I say “almost” because I did something very foolish. I watched the American remake when it aired on AMC, and now I’m cognizant (I think) of too many plot elements that are too like The Killing.

In other words, I spoiled it for myself. But I highly recommend it.

 

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The last thing I want is to be associated with lunatic liberals like Ilhan Omar, but here is my mini-anti-Israel rant: Why do I see so many Israeli ads (often on Fox News) begging for money to aid that country’s poor?

I’m certainly not anti-charity, but aren’t there countries in Africa and elsewhere that, unlike Israel, don’t already sweep in billions of American taxpayer dollars, yet don’t bombard us with commercials asking for more, more, more? Isn’t Israel considered a relatively wealthy nation?

Just asking.

 

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Wow. Whenever they compile a list of best and worst Friday movies (yes, they do this), this one usually winds up near the bottom of the rankings.  This writer must be, like me, a Debi Sue Voorhees fan.

 

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Lawrence Jones might not be the most polished anchor on Fox News, but he’s often the most entertaining. Check out the reaction by Joe Concha during this exchange between Lawrence and Congressman Byron Donalds:

 

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Hopefully, this means that we will never again have to sit through a movie or TV show about the 1950s Hollywood blacklist, now that our celebrities have all embraced McCarthyism.

 

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Battle of the Best Butts!

 

 

Mask-less A.O.C., surrounded by mask-less “elites” and mask-wearing slaves, er, servants, stuck her rear into a camera to let her constituents — and everyone else — know exactly what she thinks of them.

 

 

Meanwhile, at the Video Music Awards, 35-year-old Megan Fox reminded all of us that she still has a dynamite derriere and that she also has a 31-year-old “daddy.”

 

 

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I’ve grown a bit weary of everyone’s surprise or outrage over the latest scandal or double-standard perpetrated by the Democrats. Whether it’s a botched Afghanistan evacuation, an invasion of unvaccinated immigrants at the border, or whatever comes out of Joe Biden’s mouth, we are way past the time of accepting “oops” as an explanation.

Apparently, Democrats have noticed how well “oops” works for Twitter every time it “accidentally” silences another conservative voice.

Too much of this stuff is deliberate, and certainly not a mistake.

 

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As society continues to crumble, you can either read the news and succumb to depression and anxiety or take a break and check out the warped world of Tales From The Grouch. Here’s a list with links:

 

 . grouchyeditor.com Rusty  “Rusty” — Happy times in suburbia.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com revelation   “Revelation” — Unhappy times in suburbia.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com homebodies   “Homebodies” — The people next door.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com ass   “The Porthole” — Be careful what you wish for.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com the ufo   “The UFO” — Stand by me … and a UFO.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com Tales From Grouch   “Carol Comes Home” — The spirit of Norman Bates.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com thwup   “Thwup!” — The case for eating more (or less) beans.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com Wisdom   “Wisdom” — Cabin in the woods.

 

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I don’t understand all the fuss over this guy playing the “fairy godmother” in the latest version of Cinderella.

After all, this idea isn’t anything new. It’s a concept that’s been around for at least 44 years. Back when the word “woke” meant something the handsome prince did to Snow White.

I am referring to the first — and best — fairy godmother, of course: Sy Richardson in 1977’s soft-core musical Cinderella.

Yes, I said soft-core musical. The movie is a hoot, and so is Sy Richardson.

 

 

Check out our review by clicking here.

 

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Giving credit where credit is due:

Biden did the right thing by getting us the hell out of Afghanistan.

 

Assigning blame where blame exists:

The way Biden got us out of Afghanistan was beyond atrocious.

 

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Did CBS encourage racism against white contestants on this summer’s Big Brother? That’s the scuttlebutt on BB fan sites like Joker’s Updates.

One by one, Caucasian hamsters have been kicked out of the house this year. Only one white chick remains, along with a mixed-race girl and six African Americans (possibly five and a half; I’m not sure). The blacks in the house have formed an alliance they call “the cookout,” and they are making hash out of their non-black housemates.

If I’m one of the white hamsters who got the boot with $750,000 on the line because the network wanted to make a lame “woke” statement, I’d be looking for a good lawyer.

 

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Speaking of Big Brother, contestant Alyssa Lopez, who is of mixed ancestry, is still in the house. That might be why I’m still watching.

 

 

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It’s what I’ve been saying for years: There is something very smarmy about Oprah.

 

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If you’re interested in our continuing Tales From The Grouch, eight of the short stories are now available, including the most recent, “Wisdom.” Click here.

 

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Spearheaded by fruit loops in the White House and Australia, of all places, the world continues to fall apart.

I don’t want to talk about that this week.  Instead, let’s discuss my psychological profile.

 

 

My Inner Teenage Girl

 

 

I’ve reached a verdict on You Are My Spring, Netflix’s summer-long treat from South Korea (emphasis on “long” — 16 approximately hour-long episodes).

Maybe it’s because at heart I am a teenage girl, partial to bubble-gum rock and cheesy horror movies, but I liked the show.

There’s no question that at times Spring veers into sappiness. The romantic leads, playing characters who are in their 30s, often behave as though they are 13-year-olds in the throes of puppy love. These scenes are sometimes cute, sometimes silly.

Also, a parallel story arc involving some unsolved murders was, well, just OK.

But in 2021, when everything seems so horrible, You Are My Spring (I know; even the title screams “teenage girl”) is a breath of fresh air. When the show concentrates on its central romance — and even on some secondary romances involving supporting characters — it is sweet and often funny as hell.

Most of the lead characters are (gasp!) likeable. I’ll take that. At least in this godawful year.

 

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My Inner Teenage Boy

 

Seems like only yesterday that I was watching Hailee Steinfeld co-star with Jeff Bridges as the spunky Mattie Ross in 2010’s True Grit. Now this:

 

 

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With any luck, we should have the next Tale From The Grouch, titled “Wisdom,” ready to post within the coming week.

In the meantime, you can read the first seven tales by clicking here.

 

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I don’t know what else to say. You voted for Biden; you own this.

You own the open border with Mexico, the Afghanistan nightmare, and the George Orwell-inspired vaccine mandates/passports.

It’s all yours.

 

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Yes, the Olympics are over, and yes, I’ve finally stopped seeing this McKayla Maroney commercial:

 

 

But no, I can’t seem to get enough of this Maroney GIF:

 

 

 

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