Category: Weekly Reviews

 

Biden’s 6-Month Report Card:

 

“F”

 

We give the stuttering dotard an F. If there was a lower grade, Biden would own it.

There was a good reason why Biden’s handlers hid him during much of his campaign, and now we can all see it.

And if you voted for Biden just to prove a point, congratulations! You certainly showed those Deplorables how it should be done, didn’t you?

 

On the other hand, if Biden’s true goal is to tear the country apart, then he’s doing an admirable job.

 

**

 

 

I’m tired of every criticism aimed at law enforcement — FBI, Capitol Police, et al — prefaced with the caveat, “The vast majority of men and women in (insert agency name) are hard-working, honest, good people.” No, they are not. Their silence/inaction in the face of so much corruption makes them all complicit.

We need way, way more whistleblowers. Until we get them, you people are all tainted.

 

**

 

Do we have some sort of civic duty to care about the Britney Spears saga?

 

**

 

 

Notice what these summaries have in common? The dreaded “slow pacing” critique.

A lot of reviewers complain about this. I’ve complained about it. And yet, I don’t believe there’s anything inherently wrong with a slow pace. It’s what we’re watching that matters, not how long it goes on.

I’ve enjoyed many movies and shows that have scenes without so-called “action,” but are still absorbing because you want to watch a character simply think or feel. Or you need to catch your breath between the “action” scenes.

 

**

 

The unprecedented influx of illegal aliens must have the mainstream media salivating. 

In the unlikely event that someone other than a Democrat is elected our next president, just think of his or her unenviable task regarding illegal immigration. The only way to reverse the millions of uninvited guests who now populate the country is to … (gasp!) deport. Deport a lot.

Just think of how happy that would make the media, which would have no end of sob stories about “families torn apart” by the new president.

 

**

 

Finally, some good news:

 

 

**

 

Editor’s note: A new “Tale From The Grouch” coming tomorrow.

 

 

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Two-sentence (Netflix) reviews!

 

 

Major Grom: Plague Doctor

I am picturing Vladimir Putin as he complains, “Why should Hollywood make all the blockbuster superhero movies?” The result is this eye-popping piffle from Russia, which is silly, yes, but also expensive-looking and often amusing. Grade: B

 

 

A Classic Horror Story

Italy jumps on the “ironic” horror-flick bandwagon, in which the plot steals from better movies but hey, it’s OK because the audience is in on the joke, right? No, it’s not OK, but the end credits are clever — if you can make it that far. Grade: C+

 

 

You Are My Spring (pictured at top)

Ignore the sappy title, which reminds me of an old Nelson Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald duet (look it up, kids). This South Korean mix of murder mystery, family drama, and romantic comedy somehow manages to work — at least through the first four episodes. Grade: A-

 

 

Fear Street

Hey, it’s a three-part slasher flick with a decent budget! Hey, it’s all way too familiar! Grade: C

 

 

The Mire (season 2)

I still have trouble following this Polish crime drama (click here). But I enjoy not understanding it. Grade: B

 

**

 

 

Great job, Rotten Tomatoes — that description really nails it!

 

**

 

 

**

 

Editor’s note:  New “Tale From The Grouch” coming tomorrow!

 

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Jerk of the Week

 

So many “Jerk of the Week” candidates from which to choose. We’ve narrowed the list to these two charmers:

 

“Get over it.” — Anthony Fauci’s advice to vaccine holdouts. “You’ve gotta ask: What is the problem?” he added.

What is the problem? YOU are the problem. YOU lied to Congress and YOU lied to the American people, and now they are expected to trust you?

 

*

 

“We teach history, not hate.” — Randi Weingarten, pictured above, in a teachers’ union speech. 

When I was a kid, teachers were well respected. We went to movies like To Sir, with Love and Up the Down Staircase, in which the teachers were heroes. Teachers were liked.

Now they are possibly the most reviled Americans. And it’s their own damn fault.

 

**

 

The Kansas City Royals have a pitcher named Richard Lovelady. “Dick” Lovelady.

Where are Beavis and Butt-Head when you need them? Heh-heh. Heh-heh.

 

**

 

Sell-out Songs

 

There should be a special place in hell for advertisers who buy once-popular songs and then ruin them by bombarding the public with commercials that bastardize the tunes.

Normally, there is a song that gets demolished just once this way. But what on Earth is the deal with “Our House,” a song I used to like from Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young? Is it being done to death by both Allstate and Hy-Vee?

I did some Wikipedia research on the song: “It was used as a commercial jingle for Eckrich sausage in the 1980s, and for Sears Kenmore appliance advertisements in 1989. It has appeared in various television shows and films, including the 1996 Only Fools and Horses Christmas special, Time on Our Hands, watched by 24.3 million viewers in the United Kingdom. It was also used in an advert for Halifax Building Society in the 1990s.”

Like I said, I used to like it.

 

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Big Brother finally raised its first-place prize money from $500,000 to $750,000.  It’s about time cheapskate CBS increased the cash, considering how ridiculously inexpensive the show is to produce and the fact that Big Brother has been one of the network’s few reliable moneymakers for two decades.

 

**

 

From our “comments” box:

 

 

Fair enough.

Wait … not fair enough. Next time, would you mind telling us what we did to make you so upset? Were there too many things to mention?

 

**

 

 

Thanks again, Babylon Bee.

 

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I don’t have kids, so the future of America belongs neither to me nor to the fruit of my loins. (I do, however, have some Fruit of the Loom underwear from the 1980s, in case anyone’s interested.)

But I watch the news, and I see that schools are teaching your precious snowflakes about the “1619 Project,” “Critical Race Theory,” and drag shows from local red-light districts. Some people think this is progress; other people envision what I envision: a nation of Eloi, the passive, socialistic young people in H.G. Wells’s The Time Machine.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Read Wells’s dystopian novel (or, if that’s too much to ask, watch the 1960 movie) and decide what you think of the Eloi and their foes, the Morlocks.

The Eloi are docile and ignorant but apparently happy. They eat lots of fruit (see photo above). The Morlocks have been forced underground and are unreservedly hostile — to say the least. They are ugly and brutish (see photo below). Together, these two versions of humanity are forced to co-exist.

 

 

I am a grumpy, oldish, chain-smoking, pot-bellied male who rarely leaves the cave and has yet to be vaccinated. In Wells’s world, that would no doubt qualify me as a deplorable Morlock.  

And yet I’d much prefer the company of the uncouth Morlocks to that of the dimwitted Eloi.

 

On the other hand, if the space aliens who are orchestrating our Great Reset demand that I join the Eloi or face extinction, well, point me in the direction of Yvette Mimieux. The Eloi might be brainwashed sheep, but they are good-looking sheep.

 

**

 

The difference, methinks, between the Morlocks/Eloi of The Time Machine and today’s Right/Left is that today’s warring factions are (for the most part) not so stupid.

Deep down, I suspect that many on the right will concede that the left’s goals are admirable. How can anyone be against a fairer society? Income disparities are too great, discrimination based on race is abhorrent, and no one should be marginalized based on sexual orientation.

The problem lies with the left’s means to an end. They downplay human nature, and they don’t want to deal with nuance. They are becoming authoritarian — and that’s worse than whatever “utopia” they hope to achieve.

 

**

 

 

Here’s an interesting article about Bill Maher.

The problem with Maher remains his blind hatred of All Things Trump, an animosity which apparently stems from some lawsuit the two of them engaged in years ago.

 

**

 

 

It’s time for an “illegal alien clock,” which will spin crazily and predict how long before illegals outnumber Americans in the United States.

Unlike the national debt clock, which most people want to slow down, the illegal alien clock will go faster and faster, because that’s what our president and the Democrats apparently want.

 

 

**

 

I was reading an article about Kamala Harris in Politico when the story was interrupted by an advertisement (below). 

It does say “Advertisement” in faint, small type, but geez, Politico.

 

 

**

 

 

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Netflix Updates

 

My, those Scandinavians are dark. I watched the first season of Katla (above), an eight-part fantasy-drama, and it confirms what anyone who’s watched much Nordic noir already knows: Life, as experienced by these northern Europeans, is not exactly Disney World. In fact, it’s so pointless and sad that the best way to live one’s life is to simply accept the hopelessness and then wallow in it.

And yet, these dour dramas are often absorbing.

In Katla, gifted to the world by Iceland, an erupting volcano somehow results in an ashy resurrection of the dead. Oh, and sometimes these off-putting clones don’t wait for you to die; they appear at your doorstep, like a naked and spooky Hayley Mills in The Parent Trap.

The downside of Katla is the pace. Sometimes the slowness of it all adds to the eerie existential dread. At other times, the show simply drags. Too many moping, confused Icelanders, not enough action.

 

 

Black Summer (above), on the other hand, has the opposite problem: not enough character development, too much action. Season two of this post-apocalyptic zombie show is much like season one, in which human survivors find themselves endlessly battling each other and relentless killer zombies.

But the nonlinear storytelling and a lack of clear protagonists can prove tiresome if you are binge-watching. The constant attacks are exciting, but the show never stops long enough to let us catch our breath and get our bearings. Zombie attack. Zombie attack. Zombie attack!

That’s fun for a while, but I’d recommend watching just one or two episodes at a time.

 

**

 

 

So, I guess that hoping (not really) that someone gets her brains blown out is OK, but don’t even think about stripper poles up a pooper.

 

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Badge of Honor

 

 

Not so many years ago, on the (rare) occasions when we would get blocked or banned by Twitter, it was a bit shameful. We must have done something bad.

Not anymore. Twitter itself has been exposed as a shameful, but necessary, evil. If you get banned or blocked by Twitter, you must be doing something right.

So what led Rip to make such mean-spirited posts about City Pages editor Emily Cassel and then former Trump lover Stormy Daniels?

Here is a bit of what Cassel had to say when Trump got COVID:

 

 

And here is what Daniels recently said about testifying against Trump:

 

 

Rip plans to delete his retaliatory tweets about Cassel and Daniels because a) the tweets are old and no one follows him, anyway, and b) like we said, if you want to promote something, Twitter is a necessary evil. For now.

But there is great consolation. Shortly after Cassel’s juvenile missives, City Pages — and Cassel herself — went poof! Cancelled!

 

 

As for Daniels, well, her punishment is that she is still Stormy Daniels.

 

**

 

Conservative politicians and outlets like Fox News keep making the same mistake: They allow the left to frame controversial issues, and therefore the right keeps losing battles.

I am thinking of illegal immigration. Conservatives now act as if their overriding concern is the welfare of poor immigrants, who make dangerous journeys to the border, are exploited by drug cartels, and are merely seeking a better life. All of that is true.

But illegal aliens are also willfully breaking American law. And they are not in the least concerned that their self-interest effectively lowers wages for working-class Americans.

If we are primarily concerned about the welfare of the world’s poor, why don’t we just open the borders completely and begin importing the poor from Asia and Africa? And then secretly bus them into Beverly Hills?

 

**

 

 

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Something wrong in the head with this woman. She keeps laughing at inappropriate moments, and her giggle/cackle is the most disturbing I’ve heard since, well, Hillary.

 

**

 

I rushed through the first five seasons of Peaky Blinders so that I would be all caught up in time for the sixth and final season on Netflix. Then I read that season six recently wrapped shooting and will be in editing for at least six more months.

What the hell am I supposed to do for the next six months?

 

**

 

I, too, used to laugh at so-called “conspiracy theories.” Not anymore. Not this year.

My apologies to all of those old post-apocalyptic, dystopian, and/or science-fiction shows that I used to chuckle at. Because just about anything seems possible these days. The world has gone nuts.

As an example of what I’m talking about, here’s a partial list of once-venerable U.S. institutions I used to (sort of) trust: the ACLU, the Supreme Court, pharmaceutical companies, sports teams, schools, movies, television, Coca Cola, Tom Hanks, and (sigh) the news.

OK, well I haven’t really trusted the news in quite some time, but now it’s beyond ridiculous.

If the Davos elites or the space aliens or Nancy Pelosi or A.O.C. are behind this “great reset,” they are doing a mighty fine job of messing up America. So fine, in fact, that I don’t see how they can possibly put it back together again — socialist or not.

 

And what is the deal with this upcoming UFO report, which seems to be eliciting a collective yawn from the world?

 

**

 

 

The girl pictured above apparently upset her TikTok applecart by a) professing a love for Bernie Sanders and his socialist agenda, but then b) making a video that shows off her new, non-socialist, very expensive apartment.

I had never heard of her — Wikipedia describes Nicole Sanchez as “a Twitch streamer and TikTok personality” — and I don’t really give a rat’s ass about what she does or says. But it was an opportunity to run this picture of her in a bikini. So here you go:

 

(I’ve been fooled before by the Internet, so if it turns out that the girl pictured above is not, in fact, the girl I am writing about, well … you really shouldn’t be looking at it, anyway.)

 

**

 

 

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The Dunderhead

 

When you’re betrayed by someone who already has the scent of a scoundrel, well, what did you expect? But when you are betrayed by Marcus Welby (look it up, kids), it stings.

Here is what I wrote about Anthony Fauci in March 2020:

 

 

On the other hand, this is what I wrote about Fauci when I first saw him on TV in August 2014:

 

 

Certain idioms come to mind: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Trust your first impression.

I, like most people, was willing to give the benefit of the doubt to the scientists, doctors, and even politicians dealing with the COVID outbreak a year ago. I thought the virus was a complete surprise to just about everyone — with the glaring exception of China — and that all of us were justifiably scrambling.

That benefit of the doubt certainly extended to Fauci, who was made for TV and whom I once praised. But now it appears that Fauci knew a lot about the origins of this virus and chose to lie about it. And to bask in the glow of a fawning media.

Fauci is almost certainly responsible in part for millions of deaths. And yet the leftist media continues to kiss his wrinkled ass.

The “good doctor” probably belongs in prison. Or we could turn him over to the relatives of COVID victims and let them do what they please with him.

And Brad Pitt, wherever he’s hiding, needs to issue an apology.

 

**

 

Author Shelby Steele Thursday night on Fox: Critical Race Theory advocates seek to “capture white guilt” and are making this demand: “Give things to blacks.” 

Problem is, in practice that means the middle class is expected to “give things to blacks.” Certainly not the elite or the upper class.

That’s a diversion and a good recipe for what Charlie Manson (below) allegedly pined for: race war.

 

 

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Who’s Full of It Now?

 

Let’s do an accounting:

 

Donald Trump said it was quite possible that the “Wuhan Virus” came from a lab in China, rather than from some bat in a wet market, or wherever.

His detractors said “hogwash!”

Looks like Trump was right.

 

Trump said a wall would work on the Mexican border.

His detractors cried “hogwash!”

Joe Biden is now thinking about continuing the wall. Looks like Trump was right.

 

Trump said the Russian scandal was a hoax.

His detractors yelled “hogwash!”

Five years later, the only president who seems to be in bed with Russia (and China) is Biden.

Looks like Trump was … well, you know the drill.

 

**

 

Thank goodness we have Twitter, Facebook, and Google all censoring conservative views about the border crisis, the virus, and Russia/China, or we’d be in danger of learning the truth.

 

**

 

 

I’m thinking what we need is a “Gutless Sellout Hall of Fame,” composed of famous Americans who betray their own country in pursuit of Chinese cash.

Let’s start one. Here are two nominees for the inaugural class:

 

.                   

 

Newest nominee for the “Gutless Sellout Hall of Fame”? This bonehead:

 

 

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Better Late Than Never, or …

Too Little Too Late?

 

 

Biological weapons are scary. Who’s to say that COVID-19 isn’t just the first in a long string of viruses about to be unleashed on the world?

I certainly no longer believe anything the clownish Dr. Fauci has to say. He’s much too busy planning the Hollywood story of his life. Starring, of course, Brad Pitt. I can’t wait for the scene where Fauci lies to Congress about the U.S. funding the Wuhan lab.

 

So, yeah, China is the villain in this drama — along with our own money-grubbing elites.

 

*

 

 

This organization is targeting “woke” corporations and naming names in an attempt to shame the shadowy honchos who hide behind beloved institutions like Coca Cola or Disney. That’s a good idea.

Rather than getting angry at an amorphous, untouchable corporation, go after the cowardly villains at the top. After all, aren’t we told that “corporations are people”?

 

*

 

Seems like we are rapidly transforming from a “nation of laws” to a “nation of rules.”

Unlike laws, rules can carry the weight of law without the burden of being constitutional.

Meanwhile, actual laws can simply be ignored. Just follow the rules, pal — or else.

Thanks, Millennials.

 

**

 

 

I don’t know why these scandals still come as (a little bit of) a shock to me. You’d think that by now, after reading books about celebrities like Johnny Carson and gossip sites like Crazy Days and Nights, I’d know better than to believe the Hollywood P.R. machine.

Now it’s Lucy’s turn to face the ugly music. Good grief.

 

 

**

 

 

This Netflix movie from Austria is getting lukewarm reviews, but silly me, I kind of liked it. The Strange House is not particularly scary, but then it isn’t supposed to be. It’s a spooky little flick aimed at the whole family.

It’s like Stranger Things was in its first season: mildly ominous, but with a big heart.

 

The Strange House isn’t getting a whole lot of buzz. Army of the Dead, on the other hand, is getting tons of buzz.

I watched it yesterday. It was … OK. By that I mean it’s entertaining mayhem, but nothing you haven’t seen a hundred times before.

 

**

 

 

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