The Grouchy Editor

Videos, Videos, Videos

If there’s one lesson we should all have learned from controversial videos, it’s that the initial narratives surrounding them — colored by knee-jerk emotions — are often erroneous. Like the Covington kids video and, to a certain extent, the George Floyd video.

That said, here are my first impressions of the onslaught of such videos we got in the past few days:

The Pfizer Executive

Whether he’s a liar or not, dude gave plenty of ammunition to the anti-vaccine-mandate crowd. And, once again, the liberal media is doing its best to bury this story.

Paul Pelosi

Shockingly, what I’ve seen of this home-invasion video seems to support much of what the Pelosi camp initially claimed. But why were they so hesitant to release it?

Memphis Cops

Yup, the cops sure look guilty as hell. But the fury with which they attacked poor Tyre Nichols lends credence to the gossip that this was personal, that perhaps Nichols banged a cop’s wife.

Of course, all of my conjecture could turn out to be bullshit. Only time will tell. Maybe.

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I’ve only seen the first episode of Poker Face on Peacock, which is getting rave reviews. That episode was good, yes, but I’m not quite ready to declare that the show is the Second Coming of Columbo. Somehow, Columbo’s methodical investigations were more convincing than Charlie Cale’s “I can just tell when anyone lies to me.”

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If you want to know which Fox News hosts are pro-military-industrial-complex, pro-establishment regarding our involvement in the Russia-Ukraine war, just monitor which of them are giving tons of airtime to hawkish ex-generals.

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Will we ever get to the bottom of this?

If we just knew who is/was being blackmailed, it would likely go a long way toward explaining a lot of inexplicable behavior by Big Shots.

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Oh no! How will Tom Brady ever again find tits and ass like that?

Oh … wait. He’s Tom Brady.

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© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

I believe it’s high time we stop misusing the word “elites” when referring to Bill Gates, Al Gore, and the other clowns who attend the World Economic Forum.

“Elite” has a positive connotation. Ken Griffey Jr. was an elite athlete. Meryl Streep is an elite actor. Gates, Gore, et al. have money and clout, but they are misguided tools.

How about we call each of them Big Shot Asshole, or B.S.A.?

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Posting this picture will be seen as an exercise in bad taste by some folks, but holy moly …

If it’s good enough for the New York Post, it’s good enough for us. Also, if she was proud of the picture while alive, why not now?

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Clearly, the artist responsible for the above picture is “borrowing” from the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant.

Speaking of the pageant, here is Filipino artist Kryanne’s progress on her latest rendition of S.P.B. star Rip van Dinkle:

We hate to leave you with the mental image presented above, so here is this again:

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

The problem with this “classified documents” hullabaloo isn’t Melania’s underwear drawer, nor is it Biden’s garage. Somehow, I doubt that Trump and/or Biden were storing nuclear secrets on the sly.

No, the problem is that way too damned many documents are classified “top-secret” in the first place. From small-town mayors who don’t like reporters to top dogs who are hiding sex scandals, there are simply too many government officials who too easily mark things “classified” — not because they affect national security, but because their exposure might embarrass someone.

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I am feeling especially lazy this week, so I’m turning the Review over to Twitter:

Yup, that doesn’t look a thing like cunnilingus. Not a bit.

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

“Our long national nightmare is over” — Neil Cavuto on Saturday, obviously relieved that The Establishment prevailed in the U.S. House of Representatives. Good lord, does Fatso really believe that “the nation” lost any sleep over this squabble?

Cavuto’s umbrage over the Freedom Caucus’s disruption of Kevin McCarthy’s coronation was palpable all week.

The fat boy seemed to consider the caucus’s challenge a personal affront. How dare anyone upset the cushy D.C. status quo, in which politicians and media know their place in an established hierarchy?

That’s the problem. Too many “journalists,” including some at Fox, are fat and happy with the way things are — for them. They spout political differences on TV, but then join their “foes” at ritzy D.C. dinner parties.

How dare regular folk and occasional upstarts like Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert threaten their lifestyle?

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Yes, he does have a “punch me” face. Slitty eyes, arrogant smile, and too-perfect hair. But sometimes, that’s exactly the type of guy you want on your team.

Yes, she does sometimes come off as a “bimbo.” But when the other side has a bimbo named Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, that’s what you want on your team.

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I propose that someone make a horror film and call it The Party. These people can play themselves:

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Very Short Movie Reviews

Greenland was fun.

The Pale Blue Eye was just OK.

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Thank God that The Bablyon Bee is back on Twitter.

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Hate to be a Debbie Downer again but, just like a year ago, I am gazing into my crystal ball and predicting another miserable 365 days for everyone.

Unless, that is, you happen to be a member of the super-rich or the corrupt “public servants” who are creating so much misery. They will be fine.

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Fox News Observations

Greg Gutfeld better watch his back. Fox’s latest court jester, Jimmy Failla (above), is popping up more and more on shows like The Five. And unlike Gutfeld, Failla is quite funny. Also unlike Gutfeld, he doesn’t find himself laughing, alone, at his own jokes.

I like Tulsi Gabbard. She is pretty and smart and pleasant. But as a fill-in host she has all the spark of a dead car battery. I am thinking her voice is the problem. It is lifeless and mournful, like that of a zombie at a funeral.

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I’m wondering if Barbara Walters believed in reincarnation and, if so, if she will come back as a tree. Also, what kind of tree?

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I watched a bit of HLN’s The West Wing marathon but had to stop. It was just too depressing, thinking about the enormous gulf between the fictional Bartlet administration and the real-life administration we are saddled with.

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Speaking of misery, poor Rip van Dinkle is once again the subject of an upcoming humiliation by 21-year-old Filipino artist Kryanne.

Here is an early sketch of her latest debasement of Rip:

But don’t worry. We will warn you when she finishes and before we post the final product.

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

It’s Christmas and current events are as depressing as ever, so I’m going to write about Glass Onion.

When Knives Out debuted a few years ago, I liked it but didn’t love it. It was good, not great. Mostly, it was a welcome respite from Hollywood’s endless stream of big-budget comic-book movies.

Daniel Craig, as comical detective Benoit Blanc, was amusing, and Christopher Plummer was Christopher Plummer. I am partial to comic murder mysteries, and Knives Out was pretty good. So how does its sequel stack up?

What’s good about Glass Onion:

1. A lot of money was spent on sets, costumes, and cast, and it shows. It’s always fun to fantasize about lifestyles of the rich and famous — including the big stars who assemble on a billionaire’s secluded island in Onion.
2. Madelyn Cline in a skimpy bikini (see below). 
3. Noah Segan as an oddball houseguest.
4. The premise, a rehash of And Then There Were None and The Last of Sheila, is suitably intriguing.

And Then There Were None

The Last of Sheila

What’s not so good about Glass Onion:

1. The one-liners rarely make the leap from mildly amusing to outright funny. Kate Hudson, clearly intended to be a comic high point, is instead shrill and annoying.
2. The movie is too long.
3. After borrowing plot points from the two mystery classics named above, the script fails to innovate or surprise.

I suspect that if this movie had been released 30 years ago, or even 20 years ago, it would have quickly faded. But in 2022, with the bar so low for anything not comic-book-related, well, these are the Rotten Tomatoes scores:

When I reviewed Knives Out I gave it a B-plus. Glass Onion is entertaining but a step back for writer-director Rian Johnson. I’ll give it a B.

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Used to be, you won a Best Actress Oscar and you no longer had to do nude scenes. Not anymore. Poor Jessica does not look happy.

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I was hoping Elon Musk would stay on as Twitter’s CEO. But if he keeps on posting tweets like this one, I’ll be content.

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Let’s have another look at cheeky Madelyn Cline in Glass Onion. Because it’s Christmas.

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

You might be thinking, “I don’t use Twitter. Nobody I know uses Twitter. What’s the big deal with Elon Musk’s ‘Twitter files’?”

Here’s the big deal: You might not use Twitter, but people with outsize influence — journalists, politicians, corporations, and special interests — all use Twitter, and combined they have the power and cash to alter elections.

If the FBI was pressuring Twitter (and probably Facebook, YouTube, et al.) to censor conservatives in clear violation of the First Amendment, which seems increasingly obvious, then it’s time for the FBI to be dismantled and revamped.

And if the FBI was pulling this shit, what’s to stop other branches of the Justice Department from doing the same?

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I just watched Blindfold, starring Rock Hudson and Claudia Cardinale, and I thought of Harvey Weinstein and the Me Too movement.

I’ll review the movie tomorrow, but in researching it I stumbled on these behind-the-scenes publicity shots of Ms. Cardinale:

A crew member is wetting Claudia down for a scene in the movie. Am quite sure Harvey would approve. Am equally sure the Me Too movement would disapprove.

Oh yeah, and here is a blurry paparazzi photo of Claudia taken at a later date. Because you want to see it.

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Life as a Minnesota Vikings Fan

Yes, I live in the frozen tundra and am a lifelong fan of “the purple.” Today, my heroes trailed 33-0 at the half — and scored 39 points to win the game. That’s the largest comeback in NFL history.

But as a Vikings fan, I am well aware of what comes next. In a January playoff game, with everything on the line, the Vikes will almost certainly lay an egg. A big, fat stinking egg. Because that’s what they do.

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Politics

I’m tired of complaining about politics. Complaining about politics seems pointless.

Most of our institutions and so-called elites are corrupt.

We are all being forced to join one side or the other, or a “team.”

If I like what your team plans to do, and not just complain about, I will consider joining your team.

Until then, I will continue to watch Netflix — even though Netflix is, apparently, on a bad team.

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Last week (I think it was last week; am much too lazy to check), I said I was watching Wednesday and that I wanted more Uncle Fester and less Thing. That was before I saw the actor playing Uncle Fester.

I take back my complaint. The Fester actor is much too low-energy, as is the actor playing Gomez. Thing has more personality than the two of them together.

And why do I care about the actors in a mildly amusing show like Wednesday? I do not. I just need something to complain about that isn’t politics-related.

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It’s getting harder and harder to tell if a photo is real or a “deep fake.” That’s our excuse for working on a new post (maybe, possibly coming next week) featuring the ever-popular Minnesota Hmong girl (above).  We know she has great tits, but are they the real deal on popular Web sites or are they fake?

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

— proverb of unknown origin

Here’s a little quiz:

• Do you believe that all people, including homosexual, non-binary, and transexual persons, should be treated fairly and respectfully based on character and not on sexual preferences?
• Do you believe that people less fortunate than you, persons persecuted and/or poverty-stricken in their home countries, should be given the opportunity for a new life in America?
• Do you believe that people of color, historically discriminated against in America, should be afforded the same opportunities for economic prosperity as everyone else?
• Do you believe that the world should be protected from damaging, man-made pollutants?

That’s just a partial list, but I’m guessing that, unless you have no conscience, you answered “yes” to all the questions.

That’s the Democrats’ weapon, and that’s why we have Joe Biden and Kamala Harris in Washington.

Problem is … see the quote at top.

It’s not the ends, which all seem so admirable, it’s the means that are tearing the country apart. Nearly every policy that Biden and Company introduce has damaging side effects.

Free speech is a casualty. The rule of law is ignored. The Middle Class gets the bill for reform while the “elites” skate. The country is split. All of this happens in the name of “progress.” 

The real question is, is it worth it?

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Kanye “Ye” West might be a musical genius. I don’t know because I’m not into his style of music. He might or might not be a business genius.

But after listening to him in interviews with Tucker Carlson and Tim Pool (above), it seems clear that as a public speaker and would-be politician, Ye’s just stupid.

Being successful in one or two fields of human endeavor does not mean you are good at everything.

Period.

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I am watching Wednesday on Netflix. (Don’t ask why; I grew exasperated with 1899 and needed something new to watch.)

The show is confusing my Hollywood “woke” detector. At times, it seems to embrace wokeness. In one scene, for no apparent reason important to plot, we briefly meet a student’s parents who are, it turns out, a lesbian couple. There is also a short speech about the evil patriarchy, and America’s early colonists are taken to task.

But in other scenes, characters seem to be poking fun at wokeness.

Whatever. Jenna Ortega (above) is very good in the titular role, but I want more Uncle Fester, and less Thing.

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

As a straight male, and despite society’s constant “you go girl!” feminist refrain, I don’t often find myself envious of the “fairer sex.”

But there’s one area where so-called chick flicks top most so-called buddy comedies, and that’s in the depiction of same-sex friendship.

I can’t think of a better example of this than Netflix’s Dead to Me, which just wrapped its third and final season.

In real life, I have absolutely zilch in common with the show’s two protagonists, played to perfection by Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini. They are rich chicks living the life in Southern California, much focused on relationships and family. I, on the other hand, am much focused on what’s for dinner and who’s playing in Sunday’s football games.

But I’m not ashamed to say that the bittersweet conclusion of Dead to Me nearly brought me to tears, and I’m going to miss these two broads — especially Applegate, who is a comic delight as foul-mouthed Jen Harding.

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So far, so good on Elon Musk’s Twitter. I no longer live in fear of permanent banishment for violating whatever random protocol is established by some spoiled Gen Xer on the West Coast.

The last time I got banned (it’s happened three or four times; getting back on the site isn’t all that difficult – even without Kathy Griffin’s dead mother), it was for paying someone a compliment. What was my offense? I told South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem that she has “nice tits.”

I stand by my Tweet.

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Trump or DeSantis? I’m not sure. I’m glad I don’t have to decide today.

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