I am an addict. As addictions go, mine is pretty ugly. Yes, my name is Grouchy, and I am a Minnesota Vikings fan.
Having this sickness is not easy. There is no team in professional sports more cursed than the Vikings, no team that does a better job of punishing its fans. Heard of the “Hail Mary” pass? The term was born in 1975, when Dallas victimized the Vikings — and I was in the stands. Heard of the “love boat” scandal? That boat was filled with Vikings. Can you name one of two teams in the NFL to make four Super Bowl appearances — and lose all four games? Guess which team boasts the only player in NFL history to run the wrong way for a touchown? That would be Viking Jim Marshall, way back in 1964.
One day in the 1980s, my sister ran into Howard Cosell on a sidewalk in New York. During their conversation, it came out that she was a Vikings fan. Cosell snorted and said to her, “They’ll never win anything.”
And now Brett Favre is a member of this cursed team. Let us see what horrors this new season brings.
Sainz Appeal
Generally, I don’t care much for professional jocks, who too often are rude, entitled jerks. But I side with the New York Jets concerning this female sports reporter brouhaha. Mexican journalist Ines Sainz wants to have it both ways. She wants to be respected as a serious reporter while strutting around the men’s locker-room in skin-tight attire. She uses sex to advance her career — does she really expect these guys to just ignore that?
Lady Gags Me
Speaking of pigskin … there is only one way that Lady Gaga can top the meat dress she wore to the MTV Video Music Awards. Next time, she should wear something with live critters.
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