It turns out that the ladies Down Under were curious about what Rip van Dinkle was hiding down under, so in 2013 he wrote this confessional for Australia’s Women’s Health & Fitness magazine. Click on any page (maybe twice, depending on your browser) for a magnified view.
© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
The Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant may be no more, but original contestant Rip van Dinkle’s infamy was alive and well in 2017. Podcasters, radio hosts, and bloggers — most of them female — were happy to amuse themselves and their listeners/readers by pubicly publicly evaluating Rip and his tiny tool.
So what was it like to have his penis fall under the critical gaze of American women?
Do most women feel like conservative Tomi Lahren (below) when it comes to puny-peckered men like Rip?
Who’s Checking Out Rip’s Dinkle?
(Click on pictures for a larger view)
Celinda Appleby (above) co-hosts a podcast called The Spark. She set up an interview with Rip to discuss wee peckers. Fellow guest Shoshana (click audio, below) had a question for Rip about the pageant:
“Like, do you all whip it out and somebody takes a ruler? Do I get to eye your penis?”
Uhh, yes and yes, Shoshana. See pictures at the top and bottom of this post.
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Kat Grudowski (above) is a Wisconsin filly who blogs at The Sex Kitten. Kat wasn’t at all hesitant to ask – and then share on her blog – the most intimate questions about Rip’s manhood, no matter how potentially embarrassing.
Says Rip: “I was a bit surprised by her article. Normally, when I do these interviews, the girl prints my stage name and is fairly positive in tone. But Kat pretty much took out her scalpel and castrated me in public, even mentioning my penis size down to the centimeter. I guess these millennial girls are so angry at older men right now that Kat couldn’t resist the opportunity to snip off my balls.
“It certainly wasn’t the first time a female blogger posted every embarrassing sexual detail about me. I got emasculated by Lizzi (click here) and Alicia (click here), too.”
From Kat’s post on The Sex Kitten:
On a scale of one to ten, one being smallest and ten being biggest, where would Kat put Rip’s manhood? That’s Rip on the left in the picture below.
**
August McLaughlin, a fellow Minnesotan now living in Los Angeles, seemed disappointed to learn that the small-penis pageant wasn’t entirely an “anti-body shaming” event. That didn’t stop August from giggling about “dinky winkies” as she introduced Rip on her podcast:
“If you [listeners] have engaged in some dinky winkie, did you actually think it was funny?”
Rip: “She’s a Minnesota girl, so she’s probably seen her share of shriveled cocks.”
Here is August discussing small cocks with Rip:
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**
The Practical Joke
Years before the small-penis pageant, Rip had some fun at the expense of local radio personality Kevyn Burger. Using the alias of a spurned ex named “Maggie,” Rip e-mailed Burger about a (fake) Web site in which “Maggie” had posted naked pictures of her ex (Rip in a hot tub).
Rip: “If ever there was a ‘mom’ radio show, this was it. I think Kevyn and her friends were genuinely shocked at the sight of my bone at half-mast. Speaking of which … I’m a grower, not a shower, so that partial erection is atypical.
“I e-mailed Burger after the show, using another fake profile and pretending to be a woman hoping to see the nude pictures. Burger said she couldn’t forward the link but assured me the photos were ‘choice.’”
Click below to hear the segment on FM107 in which Kevyn and two gal pals discuss Rip’s nude pictures:
Kevyn Burger: “So I click on it [the link] and hello — there he was in all his glory, and I was just blushing and clicked away.”
Above, the photo that made Burger blush (from the shoulders down, that is)
KB: “Is this humiliating for a guy, to be pictured naked on the Internet?”
KB: “Well, the picture of this guy on the Web site, I forwarded it to you ladies –”
Gal Pals: “Yes!”
Gal Pal 2: “I just about died.”
KB: “He looks pretty proud.”
Gal Pal 2: “He’s wearing himself a big old smile.”
KB: “And nothing else!”
Gal Pal 1: “And nothing else.”
Gal Pal 2: “Just his birthday suit.”
KB: “I don’t know if he’s exactly identified.”
Gal Pal 2: “We see everything else.” (laughter)
Gal Pal 1: “I think we can see the identifying marks.”
**
Podcasters Rachel Khona and Abbi Stern, pictured above at the 2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant, interviewed Rip for their podcast Have You Seen My Panties? Click below to hear the interview:
**
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Rip was interviewed by “Simone” (not her real name, above right) and Nicoletta Heidegger (above left) for their podcast, Sluts & Scholars.
Simone got right to the point: “How small is your dick?” she asked Rip.
About 1.5 inches, Rip revealed.
“How small is your dick?” she asked Rip.
Simone told Rip that she researched him on the Internet, and was “aghast” by the negative comments she read about him and other men with wee willies:
“A lot of women [were] shaming Rip for his small dick, saying like, ‘I couldn’t feel that even if it were inside me,’ or, ‘It would be like a finger … how on earth dare you be OK with your small penis?’”
Simone went on to interpret society’s attitude toward men with small cocks:
“The penis is the epitome of maleness, and the more male you are, the bigger your dick is. We as a society are bombarded with imagery of women deriving pleasure from deep penile thrusting,” Simone said.
Imagery like the scene below from Any Given Sunday, in which Cameron Diaz eyeballs a big black cock in the locker room:
Simone continued: “I once had sex with a man who had a really small penis and he was, um, kind of apologetic about it. So he just spent a really long time going down on me. And I didn’t really feel the need to be like, ‘I would rather you do this anyway.’”
Says Rip: “That little girl (“Simone”) gave me erections twice. First, when I watched her juicy booty swivel back and forth in the video (below), and again when I heard her comment on the podcast about getting balled — a lot.” (Scroll down for the audio clip.)
Simone’s podcast comment:
For the deaf or hard-of-hearing, here’s a transcript:
“For me personally, I’m someone who’s fucked a lot of people right away.”
Says Rip: “She’s an aspiring actress. I’d imagine there are low-budget producers in Hollywood who would be interested in a girl who will ‘do the deed’ with guys she’s just met. You know, like other actors.
“Maybe we could co-star in a remake of I Spit on Your Grave. She’d play the girl who gets gang-banged in the woods. I’d play the mentally challenged dude with a tiny cock who also gets a piece. Oh, and it would be unsimulated sex, of course!”
Nicoletta Heidegger, above, told Rip: “We will show your dick [on social media]. Because we think it’s important.”
Below, Nicoletta (left) and Simone (right) contemplate sex with Rip’s small pecker. Just kidding. We have no idea what they’re doing. Below the pictures, more random comments from the podcast.
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Simone:
“Most of the [female pageant] attendees, in your experience … come for the freak show aspect of it, to laugh at it, to shame, to mock? That’s OK with you?”
Nicoletta:
“I don’t know what’s longer, your dick beard or your face beard.”
“Once you were there and you saw people were taking pictures, how do you feel knowing that there are pictures of you out there? Do you like it? Does it turn you on? Are you worried about your job?”
“They [Rip’s nieces] saw your dick pics. That is the name of this episode: ‘Uncle Rip’s Wiener.’”
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One happy side effect of Rip’s interview on Sluts & Scholars: The show’s promotonal Tweet was retweeted by one of Rip’s favorites – 1980s porn queen Nina Hartley, pictured below.
Listen to the full podcast below:
**
Recently divorced Marlena (above) is a Chicago preschool teacher who blogs at Modern & Blissful. Marlena, like fellow Midwesterner Kat, wasn’t bashful when it came to prying personal, sexual information out of Rip. Some examples:
Marlena: “How many women have you had sex with?”
“Do you prefer vaginal or oral sex?”
“How wide is your penis?”
“Do condoms impact your ability to maintain erections and cum?”
“How does having a small penis affect your life?”
Rip: “Some women actually prefer a small sex organ to a very large one.”
Marlena: “I can attest to that! Huge dicks can be painful during extra penetrating positions such as doggie style.”
Marlena: “Would you ever consider becoming a porn star?”
Rip got excited after discussing doggie-style sex, oral sex, masturbation, and spread buttocks, so he decided to hit on Marlena. Alas, she informed Rip that she was “taken” and not into guys with “long beards.” Oh, well.
You can read Marlena’s interview with Rip by clicking here.
**
Rip attempted to renew his acquaintance with local news anchor Liz (that’s her on the right in the picture above, posing with Rip and another news girl), suggesting to Liz on Facebook that some nude sunbathing might be in order.
Readers might recall that when Rip first met Liz, she learned of his participation in the small penis pageant and was quite impressed.
After that, one of two things happened: Either Rip put his dinghy in the anchor (see below), or someone spent some time with Photo Shop.
**
“I hooked up with some of the college football players living in my apartment building … it was fun.” — Jaye, the model who fingered Rip’s prick
“I’ve had numerous hookups with guys I never dated … these guys are typically hot. A few months ago, I hooked up with some of the college football players living in my apartment building … they’re all hot 18-year-old guys so it was fun.” — Jaye’s post on Facebook
You provide the players, Jaye provides the end zone
**
Photo (Shop) Fun!
Kat dangles her panties in front of Rip, who can only enjoy the view
Rachel doesn’t like little cocks; Rip can only fantasize
Rip’s dinghy approaches the anchor
© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Photo by Amy Minnick
We asked Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contestant Rip van Dinkle to find out if size matters — specifically, to find out if his size matters.
Rip revealed his (not quite) two-inch tool to a bevy of attractive women — about half of them in face-to-face … er, face-to-penis encounters, and the other half over Skype — and asked them to pass judgment.
And because we realize that not more than three or four people on the planet care to read a post loaded with pictures of Rip’s puny pecker, we included eye-candy shots of the girls who ogled Rip’s manhood.
The leering ladies ran the gamut: podcasters, bloggers, a sex writer, a photographer, models, bar managers, some sex workers, and a few “girls next door.” Here they are:
Who’s Looking at Rip’s Dick?
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Aimee Aleeya Sara
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Cersei Christine Cyndi
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Emily Jaye Sarah
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Marcie Lilith Sandra
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Aiden Dee Juliana
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Misty Abbi Rachel
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Maggie Vivian Amy
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Alicia Melanie Just Kidding
The Podcasters:
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Rachel Khona attended the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant “to giggle at tiny penises and the men who would actually show them.” Khona, a sex writer, then invited Rip to discuss his package on her podcast, which she co-hosted with gal-pal Abbi Stern.
Rachel made it clear on the podcast that she would never, ever consider sleeping with someone like Rip, what with his puny pecker and all. Apparently, Rachel and Abbi wanted from Rip that rarest of things: a male who would actually confess in public that yes, his dick was lacking.
From the podcast:
Stern: “It’s hilarious that anybody would want to advertise they have a small penis, because I don’t know how they’re ever gonna get ass after that.”
Khona: “It’s sad. It feels like there’s a finger in you. Sometimes you don’t even know it’s there.”
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“So what’s it like having a small penis? How big does it get?”
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“Are you counting limp? For me, that’s not quite two inches.”
Moral of the story: If you are under-hung, you don’t get to fuck Rachel. But she will giggle at your little dick.
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Click on pictures for bigger views of Rachel
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**
From Thought Catalog:
The Photo Shoot:
Photo by Amy Minnick
Rip’s participation in the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant brought him Internet notoriety. But he doesn’t live in Brooklyn; he lives in Minneapolis.
Local photographer Amy Minnick recruited models Sara, Marcie, and Sandra (not their real names) to pose with naked-as-a-jaybird Rip. The goal was not to flatter the bearded, beer-bellied Baby Boomer. The goal was to depict how a group of sexy ladies might react to Rip and his mini member.
When Rip revealed his private parts to the ladies in these pictures, they were polite enough not to giggle at his shortcomings – at least not in front of him. In the picture below, Rip himself was not present, so the girls felt free to express how they really felt — especially with Rip’s organ pictured side-by-side with other, more fortunate males.
Photo by Amy Minnick
Sara
Sara was the most enthusiastic model. When photographer Amy needed a volunteer to check out Rip’s manhood with a magnifying glass, Sara did not have to be asked twice:
Photo by Amy Minnick
Above, Sara zooms in on her subject matter. In the picture below, Rip owns the prick at far right. But you already guessed that.
We can’t imagine what Sara finds so funny. She probably felt sorry for the two chaps on the left.
Photo by Amy Minnick
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Click on pictures for bigger views of Sara
Sandra
Sandra was required to strip down to black bra and thong panties. This presented a challenge for Rip. As the possessor of a tiny penis, would the sight of half-naked Sandra prompt a … physical change in him? Would his penile puniness be exposed as a fraud?
Photo by Amy Minnick
In the photo above, Sandra apparently sees something amusing in her wine glass.
Photo by Amy Minnick
Above, Rip conquers a potentially embarrassing boner by concentrating not on Sandra’s “fuck me, Rip” pose in the bed behind him but rather on … a strap-on dildo?
Photo by Amy Minnick
Sandra, who apparently hasn’t seen enough, uses binoculars to eyeball Rip’s junk. At least it wasn’t a telescope.
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Click on pictures for bigger views of Sandra
Marcie
Marcie was the quiet, bashful model in the studio. We have no idea what she might have been thinking when she came face-to-face with Rip and his dangling noodle. But her smile seemed to indicate that she enjoyed his birthday-suit shame fame.
Photo by Amy Minnick
Above, the ladies (left to right: Marcie, Sara, and Sandra) try not to check out Rip’s none-too-impressive sex organ as he serves them wine
Says Rip, “Mostly, the girls tried not to let me catch them staring at my crotch. They would sneak peeks when they thought I wasn’t looking. I did catch Sara having a look once or twice. They all had to stifle giggles.”
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Moral of the story: We asked Rip if this photo shoot, featuring naked him and four clothed women, was a humiliating experience. “OK, it wasn’t exactly a Playgirl centerfold shoot,” he said. “But hey, how many guys can say they spent three hours on a Saturday afternoon with four chicks ogling their junk?”
A very good point.
Alas, Rip did not get a piece of ass from these ladies. The girls did, however, enjoy emasculating him.
**
Hats off (pants off?) to Amy Minnick, the woman who took the, uh, interesting black-and-white photos. Not only did the lens on her camera not shatter, but she endured hours of close scrutiny of Rip’s hairy cock and balls. We’re guessing that, outside of Rip himself (and his ex-wife), no one has spent more time staring at his twig and berries than Amy has.
Then again, who knows? Maybe she enjoyed it. Amy is pictured below.
**
From Thought Catalog:
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**
Part 2
In Part 2, Rip has his dick measured by a Minnesota model and confesses his penis-pageant participation to sexy gal-pal Michele. Featuring video clips. Click here to go to Part 2.
© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
(Click on any picture for a larger view)
We were curious about the backstage antics at Brooklyn’s annual small-penis pageant, and so we turned to two-time contestant Rip van Dinkle (above, at the 2015 contest) for some answers to our questions – and we had quite a few of them. Who, for example, is allowed in the contestants’ dressing room? Do participants suffer from pre-pageant jitters, or from the sudden realization that one’s penis will soon be on display for hundreds of boisterous women? Does Rip have bedroom fantasies about the women who saw (and judged) him in his birthday suit?
Grouchy Editor – Tell us about the scene in your dressing area before the pageants. Are women allowed in there?
Rip Van Dinkle – Oh, man, aside from the contestants, it’s all women backstage. Some of them are supposed to be there, like the pageant organizers and media people who are there for interviews. But there are some people who just wander in, with no real reason for being there except, I suppose, to ogle us. But there were also a few naked women backstage. In the first pageant, “Cherry Pitz” [Editor’s note: burlesque queen Cyndi Freeman] was in the show, and she stripped down to a black thong – and nothing up top – right in front of me. I believe she was 49 at the time, and married, and looking hot. There was also a female musician parading around topless during the pageant this year.
One of the judges, Kate Hakala, kept walking into the room while we were dressing. She had no real reason to be down there, other than to check us out in the nude, I guess. I read the story she wrote about judging the pageant, and it seemed like she was very much on the prowl for small dicks. I guess she decided to see more of us than she was seeing on the stage.
GE – Tell us about the media. It reminds us of female reporters in the men’s locker room at professional sporting events, which was quite controversial.
RVD – They say you have to be brassy to be a good reporter, and that was certainly true of the ballsy bunch I saw in the dressing area. A reporter from Gawker [Editor’s note: Victor Jeffreys II], one of the few male reporters, drew me aside to ask questions. At some point, I glanced down and saw that he was holding his cell-phone camera in front of my groin; he’d been taking close-up pictures during the interview. That kind of pissed me off, but he certainly got what he wanted. I checked out his story in Gawker and there were all these shots of my junk in huge close-up, including shots he took later when the judges were measuring our cocks on stage.
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Gawker published these intimate pictures of Rip submitting to penis-measurements by judges Cyndi Freeman, left, and Aimee Arciuolo, center. At right, one of Jeffreys’ surreptitious crotch shots.
A female photographer at the first pageant spotted me sitting alone, drinking a Coke, and asked if she could take pictures. I said sure and brushed my hair a bit, but that was unnecessary because she wasn’t interested in my hair. She just kind of leaned over and stuck her camera between my thighs and began taking pictures. I should mention that I wasn’t completely naked; I was wearing one of those tuxedo thongs. But she and the Gawker guy were there to get pictures of our genitals and by God that’s what they got.
GE – You mentioned the foreign press …
RVD – Oh yes. There was this gorgeous reporter from Brazil, Anna something [Editor’s note: Anna Gabriela Ribeiro], and she came up to ask me questions. One thing almost every interviewer asks me is, “How small is your penis?” She didn’t ask me that, which I thought was kind of odd until I realized what I was wearing. We didn’t have mirrors to look at ourselves backstage, and this was our first costume, which I thought covered us up. I was wrong. It was black underwear but with a see-thru patch right over the genitals, so this girl had a clear view of my twig and berries, dangling just inches below her notepad. She would have no trouble describing my shortcomings for her readers. It might also have explained the smile on her face while she was interviewing me. She also took pictures during the show. Several of them popped up on Spanish-language Web sites.
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Ribeiro and what she saw while interviewing Rip
GE – OK, enough about journalists. Who else was in the dressing room?
RVD – At both pageants, Aimee Arciuolo was there helping us adjust our costumes. She was the creator of the pageant and had a hand in designing the costumes. She wanted us as exposed as possible, and told me before the first pageant that our underwear would be as transparent as plastic wrap. For the 2015 pageant, Bobbie Chaset pretty much took over managing duties, so she was always around. Legally, we weren’t supposed to get completely naked during the show, but I discussed flashing the audience with Bobbie beforehand and she encouraged me to do it. So I did.
GE – Anyone else backstage?
RVD – There were the “penis kittens,” of course. They had various duties, but mostly they just had to look cute. Some of them, I think, used Super Soakers to wet our crotches before the penis measuring.
“Penis Kittens” from left to right: Racheal, Audrey, Amanda
GE – We should come clean here. We really aren’t interested in hearing any more about your experiences at the pageant. What we really wanted to do was find an excuse to run pictures of some of the good-looking women associated with the contest. We wanted to turn the tables on some of the females who ogled you guys. We’d love your comments on these pictures.
RVD – Excellent. Let’s do it.
GE – We’d also like you to give us a favorite sex fantasy about each of them.
RVD – That sounds sexist. Count me in.
**
“Rip van Dinkle flew in from Minnesota to shake his shrimpy spigot before 100 onlookers.” – Erin Calabrese and Kate Briquelet, New York Post
The Leering Ladies
Pageant creator/manager/judge Aimee Arciuolo
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RVD – Aimee has a great rack and nice legs. I guess she could relate to us guys in the pageant since she’s a bit of an exhibitionist, herself. Until I saw these pictures, I had no idea she let her tits hang out in public. Great-looking tits, blue or any other color.
Aimee told Gothamist that she and her friends discussed ways to make us get erections during the pageant, I suppose so they could measure us limp-dicked and also with boners. Aimee really wanted to give the females in the bar a good show. She was upset that a city ordinance wouldn’t let us show cock, so she and her mother designed “penis tuxedoes” so that our balls hung out for all to see.
But I was game for anything at the pageant. If Aimee had said to me, “Rip, there are women with cameras out there who want their money’s worth. Will you ejaculate on stage so they can get souvenir pictures?” I would have said to her, “Yes, ma’am. If that’s what you want, no problem.” Humiliating, I suppose, but I’m sure she would have loved that.
“If Aimee had said to me, ‘Rip, there are women with cameras out there who want their money’s worth. Will you ejaculate on stage so they can get souvenir pictures?’ I would have said to her, ‘Yes, ma’am.’”
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Rip: “For a woman who claims to favor small dicks, Aimee looks pretty pleased to see Flo Rida’s big pecker.”
RVD – These screen caps and the video below are from the first pageant. A guy calling himself Flo Rida broke the rules and flashed his dick. I’m pretty sure this kind of rule-breaking pleased Aimee, even though she acts shocked in these pictures.
Rip’s Sex Fantasy: She’s kind of a show-off, so I’d love to do her doggie-style on stage. At a biker bar. Hey – remember, this is the girl who put me through the indignity of measuring my penis on stage in front of a bar full of women. With cameras.
In the video above, Cyndi (big wig) and Aimee measure little manhoods on stage. Rip is the contestant in the middle.
*****
Bartender/manager Bobbie Chaset
Rip is interviewed by Rolling Stone while Bobbie Chaset, right, looks on
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RVD – These pictures surprise me. They must be some years old. I thought Bobbie was too reserved to dress in such a sexy costume and in such “fuck me” poses. Also, are those panties see-thru? Looks to me like some pussy hair poking through, but that could be my wishful thinking.
Rip’s Sex Fantasy: Those pictures remind me of bondage. It would be fun to tie her up, put a gag in her mouth, and do her on stage. At a biker bar.
*****
Journalist Anna Gabriela Ribeiro
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RVD – After she interviewed me, she took a bunch of pictures during the contest. They were published on South American Web sites, but I noticed my crotch was “black barred” in them.
Rip’s Sex Fantasy: Probably we’d do a scene for a Brazilian porno flick. Does Brazil have porno flicks?
*****
“Penis Kittens” Amanda Hollenbeck, Audrey Selles-Czuk, Racheal Selles-Czuk
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Left to right: Racheal Selles-Czuk, Amanda Hollenbeck, Audrey Selles-Czuk
RVD – Honestly, I’m not sure what they did. I believe they were supposed to hose our crotches with Super Soakers, but it was too chaotic to notice who was squirting what. Cute girls, though. Look at Amanda – doesn’t she look like some glamorous 1940s film star?
Rip’s Sex Fantasy: Racheal and Audrey are sisters, so of course we’d have a threesome. Amanda has kind of that classic, movie-star look, so I’d do her classic missionary-style. At a biker bar.
*****
Burlesque queen Cyndi Freeman
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RVD – Looks pretty good for 50, doesn’t she? I guess she has a very understanding husband, since she spends so much time parading around half-naked in front of other men. She struck me as one horny lady. During the second pageant, which I did not attend, she basically dry humped a contestant who, from the look of the pictures, was wearing only a shirt – no underwear. In other words, Cyndi in her thong grinding pussy against his genitals. [Editor’s note: See GIF at bottom] She also seems to enjoy eyeballing Flo Rida’s big prick in the pictures [above and below]. And she was one of the judges who measured my manhood on stage.
Rip’s Sex Fantasy: I think she’s kinky, so I’d have her down on her knees, giving me head while her husband watches. By the way, Cyndi once did a soft-core TV show for Showtime. It has Cyndi tits, Cyndi ass, Cyndi getting groped and fucked by a sleazy dude – check it out.
*****
Gawker reporter Victor Jeffreys II
RVD – Annoying dude, but he was there for dick pics and he got them – especially mine. [Editor’s note: That’s Jeffreys below the yellow arrow in the picture, watching Dinkle get measured.]
Rip’s Sex Fantasy: Go fuck yourself. Although there is a scene in Deliverance that comes to mind.
*****
Judges Natalie Shure, Kate Hakala, Krystyna Hutchinson
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Left to right, judges Shure, Hakala, Hutchinson
RVD – The brunette, Krystyna Hutchinson, was super hot. The other brunette in the glasses looks hot in her picture, but what you can’t tell from it is that she is a very big girl. Big everywhere. Not my cup of tea. The last judge, Kate Hakala, wrote an article for Mic and bragged about having “evaluated cock constantly.” I guess now she can add mine to her checklist.
Rip’s Sex Fantasy: Krystyna, anal sex. Natalie, boob sex. Kate, I’d have to see how she evaluated my cock on her list.
The 2015 judges were unimpressed by Rip’s puny pecker, pictured above. After finishing in second place at the 2013 pageant, Rip and his (normally) 1.5-inch penis experienced shrinkage, demoted to fourth place by the prick-analyzing female judges.
*****
Gothamist photographer Melanie Rieders
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Rieders enjoys hanging with big dicks (far right) as well as wee ones
RVD – This girl Melanie probably captured the most explicit shot of my wiener (below). I was surprised to see it posted on Gothamist, which is a fairly mainstream Web site, because her photo doesn’t leave anything to the imagination. From the stage, I didn’t notice her, but she must have been in the front row and prepared for my flash, because I didn’t have my bathrobe open for more than a few seconds.
Photo by Melanie Rieders
Rieders in the crowd, moments after capturing a shot of Rip’s dick
Rip’s Sex Fantasy: I looked her up on the Web and discovered a bikini shot of her (below). My God, does she have a humpable, pumpable little ass, or what? I’m thinking I’d do her doggie-style, right there on that raft. Guys like me aren’t built for big-bottomed girls, because we have to make it past all that butt cheek, but Melanie’s perky bubble butt? I’m thinking I could squeeze into that.
Cyndi Freeman, aka Cherry Pitz, dry humps a bare-bottomed contestant
To read more about Rip’s adventures at the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant, click here or here.
© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
