The Grouchy Editor

 

I’ve been watching Jordan Peterson videos on YouTube. I’m a bit late to the party concerning Peterson, who apparently took the Internet world by storm several years ago, then succumbed to mental-health issues about a year ago and essentially vanished — much to the chagrin of his army of followers and the delight of his detractors.

But now Peterson’s back in a series of podcast videos, in which he appears to be engaging in self-therapy sessions with friends. He looks drawn and haggard and indulges in self-pity.

In his older videos he is formidable. He does battle with progressive opponents and smoothly takes them all down. He offers advice to students that is refreshing and grounded in common sense.

In the new videos he seems defeated. It’s depressing to watch. The videos suggest that old saw, “Physician, heal thyself.” Seems to me he could use some sort of hobby that lets your mind rest. Something childish and non-taxing.

Something like, say, reading The Grouchy Editor.

 

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OK, OK … no more Mitch McConnell jokes.

For now.

 

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There is nothing in the “Review” this week about the following topics: Andrew Cuomo, Biden’s stumble, Teen Vogue, school lockdowns, the Grammys, China, the Mexican-border crisis.

Not going there because, in the lexicon favored by teen girls: “I. Can’t. Even.”

 

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

I am expecting the Me Too movement to go after Dr. Seuss.

I mean, aren’t women sexualized and victimized by his 1939 masterpiece, The Seven Lady Godivas?

 

 

In case this is the first time you’ve heard of Seuss’s naughty book for big kids, here is some background:

 

 

Seven nude sisters and seven peeping brothers? It must have been Andrew Cuomo’s favorite childhood book.

 

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We’re hearing all kinds of talk about secession, or a “peaceful divorce” of blue states and red states. OK, well …

Secession was one thing during the Civil War when states were divided geographically. But how is that kind of split supposed to work in 2021, when we have all these blue cities surrounded by red outstates — and all of them falling under the umbrella of a single state?

Will blue Austin, Texas be happy to join the rest of (mostly) red Texas in seceding? Will outstate Minnesota, where I live, be content to turn blue to join its only major city, Minneapolis?

We’ll have to change our name to the 10,000 States of America.

 

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Tim Pool and friends this week discovered The Fourth Turning, a 1997 book that seemingly predicts much of what America is going through now. Here is a clip from Pool’s panel discussion. Here is my review of the book from 2019.

 

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I’m not sure which is worse, having a president whose handlers are so afraid of what he might say that they must shield him from difficult questions, or having Biden stumble and stammer his way through difficult questions.

 

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Minimum Wage

 

I go back and forth on this issue. On the one hand, seems to me that if your small business can’t afford to pay employees enough money to feed themselves, then perhaps you have no business having a small business.

On the other hand, Democrats who want a minimum-wage increase are also in favor of open borders, which will ensure millions of poor immigrants — lowering everyone’s wages.

 

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Guilty Pleasure of the Week:  Behind Her Eyes 

 

This is an entertaining series if you can get past that little … uh … astral-projection thing.

As one critic on Rotten Tomatoes says, it’s just bonkers enough to hold your attention, despite that … astral-projection thing.

Also, star Simona Brown is hot and shows her buns in one scene. Unfortunately, Netflix blocks my screen-cap function, or I’d show you her buns.

Fortunately, her buns also appear in something called Kiss Me First. So I’ll show you that, instead:

 

 

Oh, yeah. Also her boobs:

 

 

Feel free to astral project.

 

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Aha! At long last, we finally have an answer as to why Tim Pool is always wearing that stupid beanie:

 

 

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I’m going to stop criticizing Twitter, YouTube, Amazon and Facebook for censoring and banning conservatives, because I suspect that’s not really what they are doing.

I’m going to criticize them for censoring and banning Trump supporters, because I suspect that’s really what they are doing.

 

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© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

The Cuomo brothers — so cool and so fun and stuff!

It was super-fun when some kids who are even cooler — Hollywood celebrities — recognized the Cuomo magic and gave Andrew an Emmy!

Don’t you wish you could be as cool (and cute!) as the Cuomos and Hollywood celebrities?

Maybe if you cleaned up and stayed away from Walmart, you too could be cool!

 

(Just don’t tell grandma and grandpa about how much you dig the Cuomos. They might have seen the headline below.)

 

 

 

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Speaking of Walmart …

It’s interesting that one Hollywood big shot who is most vocal about trashing Deplorables, thereby distancing himself from them, is also a guy who, were it not for his celebrity, looks like he would be most at home at Walmart:

 

 

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I’m not sure which is a greater threat to the United States as we know it (knew it?) and democracy throughout the world: China, or global corporations that kiss China’s ass.

Aside from the damned virus that it unleashed on the world, it’s not hard to find other atrocities China is committing. It’s also not hard to find out which companies and billionaires suck up to Beijing:

 

Clue:  Which movie studio praised Chinese “re-education-camp” officials in the credits for its 2020 movie, Mulan?

Hint:  Which rich guy wanted to please China by dumping the national anthem before his NBA team’s home games?

Clue:  Which president (and his family) is financially in bed with the Chinese?

 

Joe Biden seems to be doing his best impersonation of Neville Chamberlain, the reviled British prime minister who thought it was a good idea to appease Hitler.

 

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Yes, Beyonce is an attractive woman. But, sorry, her ass is way too fat.

It’s gross.

There. I said it.

 

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Someone on our staff read the above article and has been insufferably smug ever since:

 

 

Sigh. Yes, his eyes are also brown.

 

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© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Perhaps it’s because the temperature is ten degrees below zero where I live, but for some reason I have even more rants than usual this week. Let’s get started, shall we?

 

 

I’m afraid we’re long past the point of calling out your political opponents’ hypocrisy or double standards to effectively shame them or to change anyone’s mind.

Your opponents don’t care about any of that because your opponents are at war with you. And you know, “all is fair in love and war.”

Your opponents will win if you don’t fight back.

Even Tim Pool (pictured above), who in the past advocated for a “we’re better than that” approach to the culture war, is now advocating for cancel culture — from the right and against “woke” culture. “Put your money where your mouth is,” he says.

 

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I like something else that Pool is pushing for. Rather than whine incessantly about liberal Hollywood and the progressive-dominated culture, he wants to create a new, albeit much smaller, version of Hollywood, one that isn’t so “woke.”

Pool is looking for talent to make short videos and music. If I were a younger pup, I’d apply for a job.

 

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Conservative media pundits keep asking, why is the left so angry? Didn’t they win the election?

Methinks it’s because Trump and his supporters, by pointing out progressive flaws, puncture the left’s cherished dreams. There is nothing worse you can do to an upset child than to puncture his dreams.

 

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President Emmanuel Macron and famously leftist France are worried about preserving their heritage.

Meanwhile, in America, our heritage has been deemed horrible and must be destroyed and completely rebuilt.

 

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I’m still in shock that Rod Blagojevich got sent to jail in 2012. Anyone rich or powerful is not supposed to face consequences, especially not jail time. Blago and fellow felon Lori Loughlin must have had horrible lawyers.

 

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Eric Swalwell slept with a Chinese spy? Let’s investigate!

Ilhan Omar misused campaign funds and married her brother so he could come to America? Let’s investigate!

Powerful people made up the Trump-Russia “scandal”? Let John Durham investigate!

Powerful people are intimately connected to the Jeffrey Epstein scandal? Go get ‘em!

Wall Street bankers committed crimes leading to the 2008 financial collapse? Go get ‘em!

Bush, Obama, and Trump all broke the law?

 

After much fuss and outrage, all of this … just … fades … away. I imagine that in a few weeks, we’ll all forget about Andrew Cuomo and his nursing-home scandal.

 

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It’s not every day that we get a plug on someone else’s site, so let’s raise a glass to this shout-out from Artsploitation Films:

 

 

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So even 60 Minutes, a show I revered in my youth, is now incompetent at best, utterly corrupt at worst. If 60 Minutes reporters are supposed to be the crème de la crème of investigative journalism, how could Lesley Stahl interview a rumored child molester (about how bad Trump is) without realizing she is interviewing a rumored child molester?

I guess that any show that has Anderson Cooper as an alumnus is automatically suspect.

 

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Look up “bitch” in the dictionary and this is what you should find:

 

 

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This is why CNN has become the National Enquirer of cable news.

 

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I had never heard of this actress, probably because I avoid most action or Star Wars-themed shows. But I learned that she got canned from her Disney job for doing the unthinkable: speaking the truth.

So, I did a search of Gina Carano and found this picture:

 

 

Is that — or rather, are those — Gina Carano or some Internet fake?

Either way, I wish her career success.

 

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I am more and more digging The Babylon Bee.

 

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LeBron James must be so proud.

 

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Still waiting for your stimulus check? Sorry, you’ll have to wait a bit longer. The Senate, having exhausted itself over the grueling Trump impeachment proceedings, has more important tasks right now. Like taking a week-long vacation. Your check can wait.

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Listening to A.O.C. get all emotional this week about how mean and scary some people are reinforces my belief (fear) that if the future of America is exemplified by politicians like her, then our future is to be ruled by clueless snowflakes.

 

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Before

 

Some weeks back I compared America-dominated-by-progressives to the Eloi waiting to be crushed by the Morlocks in H.G. Wells’s The Time Machine.

Now I’m thinking a better analogy might be the crowd of hapless dreamers atop the skyscraper in Independence Day, naively cheering on their enemy — the malevolent space aliens — just moments before they (the dreamers) are zapped out of existence.

 

After

 

Your blissful, globalized, identity-politics world would be a swell thing if not for the fact that some folks aren’t on board. You know, like the folks who run China and Russia. Who are waiting to crush you.

 

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I’m not sure which is more cringe-inducing: Brett Favre attempting to act in the 1998 comedy There’s Something About Mary, or Favre attempting to be funny in his Tuesday interview with Tucker Carlson about … cheese.

 

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I wonder if TCM, which seems to be airing quite a few “woke”-themed movies lately, is running a bit scared.

After all, it isn’t that hard to find something “problematic” about pretty much every movie ever made. If the social justice warriors set their sights on TCM, well … Gone with the Wind will be just the first of many, many targets.

Is TCM taking pre-emptive action, by running, for example, documentaries about the civil rights movement in the 1960s?

 

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From Time magazine’s article about the “shadowy” elite working to make sure Trump didn’t get elected a second time:

 

 

There you have it. They were simply protecting democracy itself. Feel better now?

 

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The following comment on Twitter is cruel and tasteless, and we in no way endorse the commenter’s viewpoint:

 

 

On the other hand, after enduring four years of Twitter snipes about Donald Trump’s small penis, well, you know what they say: What’s good for the goose is ….

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

(See story below)

 

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Yeah, I don’t understand it, either.

But I look at it this way: If you understand physics, you’re probably a nerd. If you understand the GameStop story, you’re probably an asshole. Unless you’re an amateur trader on Reddit, bringing down the big boys on Wall Street.

When they make the movie about this, because of course they will, I want Michael Douglas to play a hedge-fund manager, or possibly “Vlad” from Robinhood. That would be even more entertaining than Gordon Gekko’s comeuppance in Wall Street.

Speaking of the GameStop story, here is Tim Pool tearing Elizabeth Warren a new one. 

 

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I don’t have kids, so I’m not going to begin this rant with the obligatory caveat “I love teachers but …” that nearly every story that dares to criticize educators includes. So let me just ask: Is there a more selfish group in America than teachers?

Teachers already have retirement benefits, paid for by you, which are likely much cushier than what you have. They are near-impossible to fire. Now they apparently expect to be well-paid to not teach kids — at the expense of kids.

Although the vast majority of teachers are well below the age of 65, they also expect to be first in line for the virus vaccine. Because they are special. They are better than you.

And please don’t try to divorce teachers from their greedy unions, because the unions wouldn’t exist without teachers’ support.

 

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We don’t need a fence between the U.S. and Mexico. We need one between San Francisco and the rest of us.

 

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If you want to do something that is unpopular with the average citizen, claim that your goal is to accomplish one of three things: 1) keeping the public safe from the virus; 2) keeping the public safe from terrorism; or 3) advancing social “equity.” If you can convince enough people that you mean well, you can get by with just about anything.

 

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You go, girl.

 

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The best way to get attention for your video is nothing new: sex sells. That’s why so many videos have sensational thumbs and titles that don’t really jibe with their content, and why videos like the one below choose bare-skin shots for their thumbnails:

 

 

If you’re like us, you don’t want to watch the whole video; you just want to see bare ass. So here is the video above edited into two bite-sized segments. You’re welcome.

 

 

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One hundred years ago, the male of the species was thrilled to catch a glimpse of a well-turned female ankle, or perhaps, if he was lucky, a glimpse of thigh at the beach.

Today, thanks to COVID-19, men are deprived of seeing that most erogenous of zones, the female face. It’s become a rare treat to catch a peek of a gal’s cheek, or even, if our boy is really lucky, a partial proboscis.

In that spirit, we are proud to present a sneak preview of the magazine for 2021, Play Mask. Take a look at some of the girls featured in our debut pictorial:

 

Will she or won’t she? Teri the tease leaves us guessing (and gasping) as she begins to disrobe in public.

 

“Take it off! Take it all off!” Marcie prepares to leave work for the day — and leave us trembling like a bowl of shaken jelly.

 

Maria has plans to visit a nude beach this weekend, and her see-thru mask has us planning to go, as well.

 

Just in case you think Play Mask is unwilling to “go all the way,” have a look at cheeky Cherie, above, who has the audacity to go full-frontal.

 

Naughty Nancy wasn’t prepared to go full-frontal for us, but we’re happy to see full-nose, above.

 

Foxy Felicia, above, leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. And we love it.

 

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

As I type this, I am listening to an interview with Edward Snowden about the privacy abuse routinely committed by our so-called “national security” agencies. And I am depressed.

Earlier today, I was listening to news about Democrat desires to “deprogram” Trump supporters and conduct “truth and reconciliation” tribunals for other Trump supporters. And I am depressed.

I’ve already read Brave New World, 1984, and Fahrenheit 451 and have no desire to watch them play out in real life.

 

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But what to do?

Well, if you are just an average Joe or Josephine or whatever sexual (or non-sexual) identity, we do have some precedent. The left unveiled it over the past few years and called it the “resistance.”

I am, as you’ve probably surmised, a saintly personality and would never advocate that anyone (outside of the rich and powerful, of course) do anything illegal. But purely as a hypothetical, here are a few suggestions for Deplorables:

 

Tips for the New Resistance

 

 

a.  Resist on a small scale. If tens of millions of us refuse to wear bicycle helmets, smoke cigarettes on a public beach, and point out that Biden appointee Rachel Levine (above) is one ugly motherfucker, those little things will eventually add up and drive the left insane.

b.  Ignore the laws you don’t like — just don’t get caught. We learned this lesson from the Democrats, who wanted legal marijuana, illegal immigrants, and censorship of conservative voices. All of those things were illegal per federal laws, but tell that to Colorado with its pot industry, major metropolises that call themselves “sanctuary cities,” and Jack Dorsey at Twitter.

c.  If you don’t like seatbelt laws, don’t wear them. Don’t like pot? Report your neighbors when you smell it and tell the cops that what you really smell is Marlboro Lights. If you are tired of illegal immigration … well, I can’t help you with that one. Vote for Ted Cruz, maybe.

d.  Refuse to follow the “woke” speech rules. Mispronounce Kamala’s name, intentionally. Refer occasionally to the Cleveland Indians or Atlanta Braves. Call Bruce Jenner a “he.” A.O.C. is now Sandy Cortez (thanks, Tucker Carlson). The mainstream media produces “fake news,” and “undocumented workers” are “illegal aliens.”

e.  Call out the left’s hypocrisy. Remind them that although Trump might not be a nice guy and he might not be as well spoken as previous presidents, he didn’t start any wars and, if he did commit crimes in office, they were nothing that Bill and Hillary and Barack and Joe didn’t do before him.

f.  As repugnant as it might be, you’ll have to participate in cancel culture. Don’t support entertainers who trash you and do boycott businesses who go woke.

g.  Tell your liberal friends (assuming you have any) that, due to voter fraud, Biden is illegitimate and “not my president.” Make sure to use the words “voter fraud.”

h.  If you must use Twitter or Facebook, use it to troll the left.

i.  Above all, do not let them get comfortable. Kill them with a million little social infractions.

 

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No comment.

 

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© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

I used to believe that the particular “4G” pictured above — Greed Is Good Gordon Gekko — was the biggest villain of the past 40 years, because he exemplified corporate America run amok.

And many of us glorified him.

But at least Gekko was upfront about his avarice. Now we have, seemingly, every corporation in the country hoarding the national wealth but distracting and disguising their greed by insisting they are really about “social justice.” They don’t say “greed is good;” they say they are simply here to promote the common good — as long as that good doesn’t inconvenience them.

 

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The Grouch was taken aback when he saw the story above in The New York Post about a former pastor at a Minnesota Lutheran church — because the Grouch, as a boy, attended a Minnesota Lutheran church.

He was further intrigued when he read Nikole Mitchell’s comments accompanying her provocative Instagram pictures:

 

 

Hmmm … you don’t suppose someone tampered with those comments, do you?

 

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I love Citizen Kane, and David Fincher is my favorite working director. But I’ve had Fincher’s Mank on my Netflix watchlist for more than a month now and still haven’t watched it.

I can’t bring myself to much care about a drunken screenwriter who toiled and tippled 80 years ago.

 

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Remember all those Hollywood movies in which Tinsel Town congratulated itself for standing up to the terror and injustice of 1950s blacklisting? Movies like The Front and Trumbo?

Yeah, nothing hypocritical about today’s Hollywood, which promotes the blacklisting of conservatives.

 

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Congratulations, Democrats. You have now rendered meaningless not one but two once-powerful words: “racist” and “impeachment.”

 

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The only good reason to keep using Twitter is to troll pompous pricks:

 

 

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Who needs The Onion? I am digging The Babylon Bee.

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)