Videos, Videos, Videos

 

If there’s one lesson we should all have learned from controversial videos, it’s that the initial narratives surrounding them — colored by knee-jerk emotions — are often erroneous. Like the Covington kids video and, to a certain extent, the George Floyd video.

 

That said, here are my first impressions of the onslaught of such videos we got in the past few days:

 

The Pfizer Executive

 

Whether he’s a liar or not, dude gave plenty of ammunition to the anti-vaccine-mandate crowd. And, once again, the liberal media is doing its best to bury this story.

 

Paul Pelosi

 

Shockingly, what I’ve seen of this home-invasion video seems to support much of what the Pelosi camp initially claimed. But why were they so hesitant to release it?

 

Memphis Cops

 

Yup, the cops sure look guilty as hell. But the fury with which they attacked poor Tyre Nichols lends credence to the gossip that this was personal, that perhaps Nichols banged a cop’s wife.

 

Of course, all of my conjecture could turn out to be bullshit. Only time will tell. Maybe.

 

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I’ve only seen the first episode of Poker Face on Peacock, which is getting rave reviews. That episode was good, yes, but I’m not quite ready to declare that the show is the Second Coming of Columbo. Somehow, Columbo’s methodical investigations were more convincing than Charlie Cale’s “I can just tell when anyone lies to me.”

 

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If you want to know which Fox News hosts are pro-military-industrial-complex, pro-establishment regarding our involvement in the Russia-Ukraine war, just monitor which of them are giving tons of airtime to hawkish ex-generals.

 

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Will we ever get to the bottom of this?

If we just knew who is/was being blackmailed, it would likely go a long way toward explaining a lot of inexplicable behavior by Big Shots.

 

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Oh no! How will Tom Brady ever again find tits and ass like that?

Oh … wait. He’s Tom Brady.

 

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© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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by Edith Wharton

 

Lord knows I’m no Edith Wharton scholar, but after reading her classic novel House of Mirth, I am certainly an admirer. Wharton, herself no stranger to the world of 1905 upper-class society, tells the tragic tale of Lily Bart, a young New Yorker who thrives on beauty and charm … until she doesn’t.

The bulk of the novel is a chronicle of Lily’s thoughts — about wealth, privilege, the lower classes and, in the end, what really matters in life. In other words, there is not a whole lot of conventional “action” in the story. But Lily’s observations are endlessly fascinating and, ultimately, moving.

Today’s readers (especially progressive feminists, I presume) may be horrified by the state of society in early 20th-century New York as depicted in this book. But despite all the progress of the ensuing years, Wharton’s final message is this: Some things never change.

 

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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I believe it’s high time we stop misusing the word “elites” when referring to Bill Gates, Al Gore, and the other clowns who attend the World Economic Forum.

“Elite” has a positive connotation. Ken Griffey Jr. was an elite athlete. Meryl Streep is an elite actor. Gates, Gore, et al. have money and clout, but they are misguided tools.

How about we call each of them Big Shot Asshole, or B.S.A.?

 

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Posting this picture will be seen as an exercise in bad taste by some folks, but holy moly …

 

 

If it’s good enough for the New York Post, it’s good enough for us. Also, if she was proud of the picture while alive, why not now?

 

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Clearly, the artist responsible for the above picture is “borrowing” from the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant.

 

Speaking of the pageant, here is Filipino artist Kryanne’s progress on her latest rendition of S.P.B. star Rip van Dinkle:

 

 

We hate to leave you with the mental image presented above, so here is this again:

 

 

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The problem with this “classified documents” hullabaloo isn’t Melania’s underwear drawer, nor is it Biden’s garage. Somehow, I doubt that Trump and/or Biden were storing nuclear secrets on the sly.

No, the problem is that way too damned many documents are classified “top-secret” in the first place. From small-town mayors who don’t like reporters to top dogs who are hiding sex scandals, there are simply too many government officials who too easily mark things “classified” — not because they affect national security, but because their exposure might embarrass someone.

 

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I am feeling especially lazy this week, so I’m turning the Review over to Twitter:

 

 

Yup, that doesn’t look a thing like cunnilingus. Not a bit.

 

 

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“Our long national nightmare is over” — Neil Cavuto on Saturday, obviously relieved that The Establishment prevailed in the U.S. House of Representatives. Good lord, does Fatso really believe that “the nation” lost any sleep over this squabble?

 

Cavuto’s umbrage over the Freedom Caucus’s disruption of Kevin McCarthy’s coronation was palpable all week.

The fat boy seemed to consider the caucus’s challenge a personal affront. How dare anyone upset the cushy D.C. status quo, in which politicians and media know their place in an established hierarchy?

That’s the problem. Too many “journalists,” including some at Fox, are fat and happy with the way things are — for them. They spout political differences on TV, but then join their “foes” at ritzy D.C. dinner parties.

How dare regular folk and occasional upstarts like Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert threaten their lifestyle?

 

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Yes, he does have a “punch me” face. Slitty eyes, arrogant smile, and too-perfect hair. But sometimes, that’s exactly the type of guy you want on your team.

 

 

Yes, she does sometimes come off as a “bimbo.” But when the other side has a bimbo named Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, that’s what you want on your team.

 

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I propose that someone make a horror film and call it The Party. These people can play themselves:

 

 

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Very Short Movie Reviews

 

Greenland was fun.

The Pale Blue Eye was just OK.

 

**

 

Thank God that The Bablyon Bee is back on Twitter.

 

 

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Emily the Criminal

 

Aubrey Plaza starring as the tough-as-nails protagonist in a gritty crime drama? Sure, why not. Writer-director John Patton Ford’s low-budget debut feature is a minor masterpiece of tension, pacing, and unexpected turns. Will novice “dummy shopper” Aubrey learn that crime doesn’t pay, or will she live happily ever after?

Bonus: If you don’t know much about the intricacies of credit-card fraud, the burdens of student-loan debt, or the perils of workplace background checks, you will after watching this gem. Release: 2022 Grade: A-

 

**

 

White Noise

 

As far as I’m concerned, the biggest sin any movie can commit is to be boring. No worries on that count with director Noah Baumbach’s adaptation of a Don DeLillo novel.

White Noise is (take your pick) a satire on materialism, a family comedy, a drama about infidelity, or a disaster pic about an “airborne toxic event.” It’s all of those, and the mishmash is at times confusing. But Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig, as (gasp!) intellectual Ohioans dealing with all the above, keep things interesting. Release: 2022 Grade: B+

 

**

 

The Motive

 

I really like the premise of this Spanish film: a talentless “little man” catches his successful-author wife cheating on him and then, partly as revenge but also because he believes that he, too, can publish a book, concocts a plan.

Acting on the advice of his writing-class instructor (“write what you know!”), he decides to manipulate the lives of his apartment neighbors so that he can draw on their pain for his novel. After all, since his own life is so drab and depressing, why not tap into theirs?

This great premise is undermined, unfortunately, by a twist-ending that is both underdeveloped and unconvincing. Release: 2017 Grade: B

 

 

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Hate to be a Debbie Downer again but, just like a year ago, I am gazing into my crystal ball and predicting another miserable 365 days for everyone.

Unless, that is, you happen to be a member of the super-rich or the corrupt “public servants” who are creating so much misery. They will be fine.

 

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Fox News Observations

 

 

Greg Gutfeld better watch his back. Fox’s latest court jester, Jimmy Failla (above), is popping up more and more on shows like The Five. And unlike Gutfeld, Failla is quite funny. Also unlike Gutfeld, he doesn’t find himself laughing, alone, at his own jokes.

 

 

I like Tulsi Gabbard. She is pretty and smart and pleasant. But as a fill-in host she has all the spark of a dead car battery. I am thinking her voice is the problem. It is lifeless and mournful, like that of a zombie at a funeral.

 

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I’m wondering if Barbara Walters believed in reincarnation and, if so, if she will come back as a tree. Also, what kind of tree?

 

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I watched a bit of HLN’s The West Wing marathon but had to stop. It was just too depressing, thinking about the enormous gulf between the fictional Bartlet administration and the real-life administration we are saddled with.

 

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Speaking of misery, poor Rip van Dinkle is once again the subject of an upcoming humiliation by 21-year-old Filipino artist Kryanne.

Here is an early sketch of her latest debasement of Rip:

 

 

But don’t worry. We will warn you when she finishes and before we post the final product.

 

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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It’s Christmas and current events are as depressing as ever, so I’m going to write about Glass Onion.

When Knives Out debuted a few years ago, I liked it but didn’t love it. It was good, not great. Mostly, it was a welcome respite from Hollywood’s endless stream of big-budget comic-book movies.

Daniel Craig, as comical detective Benoit Blanc, was amusing, and Christopher Plummer was Christopher Plummer. I am partial to comic murder mysteries, and Knives Out was pretty good. So how does its sequel stack up?

 

What’s good about Glass Onion:

  1. A lot of money was spent on sets, costumes, and cast, and it shows. It’s always fun to fantasize about lifestyles of the rich and famous — including the big stars who assemble on a billionaire’s secluded island in Onion.
  2. Madelyn Cline in a skimpy bikini (see below). 
  3. Noah Segan as an oddball houseguest.
  4. The premise, a rehash of And Then There Were None and The Last of Sheila, is suitably intriguing.

 

And Then There Were None

 

The Last of Sheila

 

What’s not so good about Glass Onion:

  1. The one-liners rarely make the leap from mildly amusing to outright funny. Kate Hudson, clearly intended to be a comic high point, is instead shrill and annoying.
  2. The movie is too long.
  3. After borrowing plot points from the two mystery classics named above, the script fails to innovate or surprise.

 

I suspect that if this movie had been released 30 years ago, or even 20 years ago, it would have quickly faded. But in 2022, with the bar so low for anything not comic-book-related, well, these are the Rotten Tomatoes scores:

 

 

When I reviewed Knives Out I gave it a B-plus. Glass Onion is entertaining but a step back for writer-director Rian Johnson. I’ll give it a B.

 

**

 

 

Used to be, you won a Best Actress Oscar and you no longer had to do nude scenes. Not anymore. Poor Jessica does not look happy.

 

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I was hoping Elon Musk would stay on as Twitter’s CEO. But if he keeps on posting tweets like this one, I’ll be content.

 

 

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Let’s have another look at cheeky Madelyn Cline in Glass Onion. Because it’s Christmas.

 

 

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Blindfold

 

When I was a kid, I was infatuated with movies like Arabesque, Charade, and the Matt Helm and Derek Flint series, all of which were heavily influenced by 1960s James Bond movies. These flicks would have girls, gadgets, spies, and romance. The heroes were suave (Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, et al.) and the gals were gorgeous (Sophia Loren, Stella Stevens, et al.). And the Bond offshoots were heavy on humor.

But I had not seen Blindfold, another 1960s Bond homage starring Rock Hudson and Claudia Cardinale.

Now I have seen it, and I can report that the girls, gadgets, spies, and romance are all there, as are the attractive leads. But I deduct points because, unlike the other films in its genre, Blindfold is a bit too tongue-in-cheek, a bit too silly and slight for its own good. I never felt that the dramatic stakes were high, hence, no tension.

And yet I’m tempted to add points because Cardinale, playing the sister of a kidnapped scientist who teams with psychiatrist Hudson to rescue him … well, these pictures:

 

 

Release: 1966  Grade: B-

 

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You might be thinking, “I don’t use Twitter. Nobody I know uses Twitter. What’s the big deal with Elon Musk’s ‘Twitter files’?”

Here’s the big deal: You might not use Twitter, but people with outsize influence — journalists, politicians, corporations, and special interests — all use Twitter, and combined they have the power and cash to alter elections.

If the FBI was pressuring Twitter (and probably Facebook, YouTube, et al.) to censor conservatives in clear violation of the First Amendment, which seems increasingly obvious, then it’s time for the FBI to be dismantled and revamped.

And if the FBI was pulling this shit, what’s to stop other branches of the Justice Department from doing the same?

 

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I just watched Blindfold, starring Rock Hudson and Claudia Cardinale, and I thought of Harvey Weinstein and the Me Too movement.

I’ll review the movie tomorrow, but in researching it I stumbled on these behind-the-scenes publicity shots of Ms. Cardinale:

 

 

A crew member is wetting Claudia down for a scene in the movie. Am quite sure Harvey would approve. Am equally sure the Me Too movement would disapprove.

Oh yeah, and here is a blurry paparazzi photo of Claudia taken at a later date. Because you want to see it.

 

 

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Life as a Minnesota Vikings Fan

 

Yes, I live in the frozen tundra and am a lifelong fan of “the purple.” Today, my heroes trailed 33-0 at the half — and scored 39 points to win the game. That’s the largest comeback in NFL history.

But as a Vikings fan, I am well aware of what comes next. In a January playoff game, with everything on the line, the Vikes will almost certainly lay an egg. A big, fat stinking egg. Because that’s what they do.

 

© 2010-2023 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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