*****

 

 

*****

 

Everyone is calling Trump investigator Robert Mueller “well respected.”

That’s what they said about James Comey. That’s what they say about a lot of these guys right before the shit hits the fan.

 

*****

 

If they go ahead and impeach Donald, we’ll all have to admit that he certainly increased ratings – and I’m sure we can all agree that’s the most important thing.

 

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

grouchyeditor.com Devane

 

William Devane was on my TV. Again.

I thought, surely I can’t be the only one ready to take Devane’s gold and silver and put them where the sun don’t shine. I thought, if ever the masses finally grab their pitchforks and seek out the “One Percent,” certainly the first name on their list will be William Devane.

For years now, Devane and his smug countenance have been harassing me on my television, usually on Fox News, making me feel bad because I don’t have Devane’s private plane, wall safe, piles of gold, or tee times.

To my relief, an Internet search confirmed that I am not alone in my distress:

 

I don’t think those Rosland Capital commercials starring William Devane are having the desired response. If I have to watch one more TV spot where he’s flying his plane, sitting in his gorgeous home with his massive fireplace, or riding his horse on his expansive ranch, I’m just not sure what I’ll do. – Reel Life with Jane

 

Whenever I watch the Fox News Channel I automatically hit the mute button on the remote as soon as I see William Devane’s commercial come on.

Each and every spot starts the same way, with Devane engaged in some rich guy activity such as playing golf, horseback riding or flying his private jet. Then he turns, looks into the camera and says, “Hi, I’m William Devane.”

The trick is to grab for the remote and switch on the mute button before he can get past “Hi.”

Then, as if Devane’s natural smirk and smarminess wasn’t enough, the sponsor makes it even worse by putting this guy in rich-looking environments like country clubs, and gentleman farmer ranches.”  – Jewish World Review

 

There is more to these desperate pleas for relief from William Devane. You can read them here and here.

 

**

 

grouchyeditor.com Bill

.

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

by Molly Haskell

grouchyeditor.com Spielberg

 

I’m of two minds about Steven Spielberg. I share the general belief that he’s a brilliant showman. I think that Jaws, for example, might be the best adventure film ever made. On the other hand, I hold Spielberg largely – if indirectly – responsible for the sorry state of Hollywood today, with its glut of “franchise” movies and over-emphasis of special effects. Not to mention studios’ “will teenage boys like it?” marketing mentality.

The publisher was wise to assign this short-but-insightful Spielberg biography to Haskell, a renowned critic who appreciates the filmmaker’s talent and influence but is not, by her own admission, a die-hard fan. Haskell’s chapters are chronological, linking Spielberg’s personal life and evolution to the plots and themes of his movies. I didn’t always agree with her evaluations, but her prose is unfailingly thought-provoking.

To me, the book is most interesting in the chapters about early Spielberg, when the wunderkind was setting the world on fire with energetic, imaginative blockbusters like Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Later films like Empire of the Sun, Amistad, and Lincoln might hold more appeal for a serious analyst like Haskell, but I’ve always felt that when it comes to a Steven Spielberg movie, popcorn is more palatable than polemics.

 

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

Manchester by the Sea

grouchyeditor.com Manchester

 

Hollywood bad boy Casey Affleck won a well-deserved Oscar for his performance as a traumatized janitor in this drama about tragedy overwhelming a working-class family in Massachusetts, but man … if there’s a better actress working in film today than Michelle Williams, who in one five-minute scene delivers an emotional knockout punch, I’m not sure who it might be. Release: 2016 Grade: A-

 

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

grouchyeditor.com GOP

 

The thing that bothers me about this photo of Trump and Republicans celebrating their health-care bill is the scarcity of white males. Must “diversity” rule everywhere?

 

*****

 

 

Someone needs to inform Fox’s Martha MacCallum that we can all hear her when she mumbles and mutters to her producer during interviews.

It’s very peculiar. Her guest will be speaking, and in the background we can hear Martha’s “uh-huhs,” “mmms,” and “ahhhs” – apparently directed at someone speaking into her earpiece.

 

*****

 

 

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

grouchyeditor.com Days

 

Everyone’s Report Card for Donald’s First 100 Days

 

Donald:   F

Media:   F

Republicans:   F

Democrats:   F

American People:   F

The World:   F

Kim Jong-un:   Incomplete (testing)

 

Hey, plenty of room for improvement!

 

*****

 

Fortitude is a deeply stupid show, with plots that grow more and more outrageous, hammy performances from some decent actors, and no redeeming value.

So why do I keep watching it? I am mesmerized by the sets. I can’t seem to get enough of the remote Icelandic village where they film this ridiculous series: the cozy bar, the imposing mountain, the cool city hall, the frigid, deadly environs. I just need to hit the mute button, sit back, and enjoy.

 

 

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

Butt of the Joke

 

 

“Off camera, [Tomi] Lahren was a ‘diva’ who expected royal treatment to the extreme, sources said. Lahren demanded staffers heat up her ‘butt warming pad’ in the microwave before every show, those sources said. ‘She expected to be treated like a queen,’ one source said, referring to Lahren’s butt pad demands as ‘dehumanizing’ to her staff, adding: ‘To demand they warm your butt pad is absurd.’” – The Daily Caller

 

 

If she’s still looking for a butt-warmer, we can lend a hand.

 

 

 

*****

 

This is what happens when you insult a celebrity on Twitter:

 

 

 

*****

 

Somehow, I became Facebook “friends” with a guy named Anthony who lives in New Zealand or Australia or someplace like that. I don’t know a thing about him, but his posts are a never-ending source of amusement.

 

 

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

 

Musings About S-Town

 

It’s not like the first Serial podcast, which was a whodunit. It’s not like the second Serial, which was about military desertion. But it is like the first two series in that it’s an engrossing bed-time story.

 

Headlines and ads that promote S-Town as a “murder mystery” or “true crime” are full of Bull-S. It’s a human-interest podcast, the story of a closeted gay man stuck in the sticks of Alabama.

 

It does paint a stereotypical picture of Woodstock, Alabama. Very little time is spent interviewing residents who actually like the place – even though they exist. Listeners who disdain Trump voters will have their worst, Hills Have Eyes impressions of Middle America confirmed by the parade of racially insensitive, tattooed, drunken illiterates.

 

Host Brian Reed’s prissy delivery was an acquired taste for me. If the residents of Woodstock come off as stereotypical rednecks, Reed sounds to me like a stereotypical wine-sipping, Hillary-loving, Brooklyn hipster. In fairness, when you venture into the heart of the Deep South, as Reed does, you probably can’t be accused of seeking a “safe space.” 

 

There is no denying the charisma of John B. McLemore, the main character. We spend hours listening to him ramble and carp about everything from global warming to small-town gossip, but I never tired of his spiels.

 

 

*****

 

 

I recently watched a decent movie called The Witch.

There is a scene in which a boy lost in the woods stumbles upon a spooky hut – you know, like in “Hansel and Gretel” but without Gretel. And out of the doorway steps a witch, but a very beguiling witch. Who was this sexy but ominous-looking actress?

Some model from Australia named Sarah Stephens, it turns out. Her creepy witch cast a spell on me, so here she is doing her day job:

 

 

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

 

Red Eye, the cancelled late-night panel show on Fox, went out not with a bang but a whimper. The brainchild of Fox court jester Greg Gutfeld, Red Eye was an odd hybrid of political talk, video clips, and general gibberish, but I’m going to miss it. It was just about the only show on cable news that allowed guests to say whatever the hell they wanted to say, no matter how warped.

But mostly, I’m going to miss Red Eye because it usually featured at least one leggy piece of ass like former Miss America Kirsten Haglund, who on Wednesday’s show gave her seat-mate a boner:

 

Here is Haglund giving all of us a boner:

 

.                 grouchyeditor.com Kirsten Haglund   grouchyeditor.com Kirsten Haglund   grouchyeditor.com Kirsten Haglund

 (Click on pictures for a larger view)

 

*****

 

Foreign Crime Dramas on Netflix

 

I recently watched three of these subtitled sobrieties on Netflix, and all of them featured nude cadavers being examined by cops:

 

.                 grouchyeditor.com Bordertown    grouchyeditor.com Break    grouchyeditor.com Sejour

.                         Bordertown                     The Break                 Hotel Beau Sejour

 

My favorite was the dead black guy’s penis that kept popping up in episodes of The Break. The penis was on the morgue slab; the penis was in a photo pinned to a bulletin board. The penis was everywhere.

 

As for the actual quality of these shows:

The Break:  Very good

Hotel Beau Sejour:  Illogical but absorbing

Bordertown:  I can’t make heads or tails of it

 

*****

 

Rumor has it that Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly had a tough time choosing between several covers for his new book about old-school sexual harassment:

 

grouchyeditor.com Old Schoolgrouchyeditor.com Old Schoolgrouchyeditor.com Old School

 

*****

 

grouchyeditor.com Syria

 

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

grouchyeditor.com Aesop's Fables 

We can learn something from these ancient stories, which have been handed down from generation to generation since a Greek slave named Aesop supposedly compiled them. What can we learn? Humans have been passing down state-the-obvious drivel for a long, long time.

“The Tortoise and the Hare,” “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” – for every one of those legendary tales, which actually have a point, Aesop delivers ten more pearls of wisdom like this one:

 

The Gnat and the Bull

A Gnat alighted on one of the horns of a Bull, and remained sitting there for a considerable time. When it had rested sufficiently and was about to fly away, it said to the Bull, “Do you mind if I go now?” The Bull merely raised his eyes and remarked, without interest, “It’s all one to me; I didn’t notice when you came, and I shan’t know when you go away.”

 

Feel smarter now?

 

© 2010-2017 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share