Category: Weekly Reviews

 

Guilty Pleasure of the Week:  Behind Her Eyes 

 

This is an entertaining series if you can get past that little … uh … astral-projection thing.

As one critic on Rotten Tomatoes says, it’s just bonkers enough to hold your attention, despite that … astral-projection thing.

Also, star Simona Brown is hot and shows her buns in one scene. Unfortunately, Netflix blocks my screen-cap function, or I’d show you her buns.

Fortunately, her buns also appear in something called Kiss Me First. So I’ll show you that, instead:

 

 

Oh, yeah. Also her boobs:

 

 

Feel free to astral project.

 

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Aha! At long last, we finally have an answer as to why Tim Pool is always wearing that stupid beanie:

 

 

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I’m going to stop criticizing Twitter, YouTube, Amazon and Facebook for censoring and banning conservatives, because I suspect that’s not really what they are doing.

I’m going to criticize them for censoring and banning Trump supporters, because I suspect that’s really what they are doing.

 

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© 2010-2021 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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The Cuomo brothers — so cool and so fun and stuff!

It was super-fun when some kids who are even cooler — Hollywood celebrities — recognized the Cuomo magic and gave Andrew an Emmy!

Don’t you wish you could be as cool (and cute!) as the Cuomos and Hollywood celebrities?

Maybe if you cleaned up and stayed away from Walmart, you too could be cool!

 

(Just don’t tell grandma and grandpa about how much you dig the Cuomos. They might have seen the headline below.)

 

 

 

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Speaking of Walmart …

It’s interesting that one Hollywood big shot who is most vocal about trashing Deplorables, thereby distancing himself from them, is also a guy who, were it not for his celebrity, looks like he would be most at home at Walmart:

 

 

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I’m not sure which is a greater threat to the United States as we know it (knew it?) and democracy throughout the world: China, or global corporations that kiss China’s ass.

Aside from the damned virus that it unleashed on the world, it’s not hard to find other atrocities China is committing. It’s also not hard to find out which companies and billionaires suck up to Beijing:

 

Clue:  Which movie studio praised Chinese “re-education-camp” officials in the credits for its 2020 movie, Mulan?

Hint:  Which rich guy wanted to please China by dumping the national anthem before his NBA team’s home games?

Clue:  Which president (and his family) is financially in bed with the Chinese?

 

Joe Biden seems to be doing his best impersonation of Neville Chamberlain, the reviled British prime minister who thought it was a good idea to appease Hitler.

 

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Yes, Beyonce is an attractive woman. But, sorry, her ass is way too fat.

It’s gross.

There. I said it.

 

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Someone on our staff read the above article and has been insufferably smug ever since:

 

 

Sigh. Yes, his eyes are also brown.

 

**

 

 

© 2010-2021 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Perhaps it’s because the temperature is ten degrees below zero where I live, but for some reason I have even more rants than usual this week. Let’s get started, shall we?

 

 

I’m afraid we’re long past the point of calling out your political opponents’ hypocrisy or double standards to effectively shame them or to change anyone’s mind.

Your opponents don’t care about any of that because your opponents are at war with you. And you know, “all is fair in love and war.”

Your opponents will win if you don’t fight back.

Even Tim Pool (pictured above), who in the past advocated for a “we’re better than that” approach to the culture war, is now advocating for cancel culture — from the right and against “woke” culture. “Put your money where your mouth is,” he says.

 

**

 

I like something else that Pool is pushing for. Rather than whine incessantly about liberal Hollywood and the progressive-dominated culture, he wants to create a new, albeit much smaller, version of Hollywood, one that isn’t so “woke.”

Pool is looking for talent to make short videos and music. If I were a younger pup, I’d apply for a job.

 

**

 

Conservative media pundits keep asking, why is the left so angry? Didn’t they win the election?

Methinks it’s because Trump and his supporters, by pointing out progressive flaws, puncture the left’s cherished dreams. There is nothing worse you can do to an upset child than to puncture his dreams.

 

**

 

President Emmanuel Macron and famously leftist France are worried about preserving their heritage.

Meanwhile, in America, our heritage has been deemed horrible and must be destroyed and completely rebuilt.

 

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I’m still in shock that Rod Blagojevich got sent to jail in 2012. Anyone rich or powerful is not supposed to face consequences, especially not jail time. Blago and fellow felon Lori Loughlin must have had horrible lawyers.

 

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Eric Swalwell slept with a Chinese spy? Let’s investigate!

Ilhan Omar misused campaign funds and married her brother so he could come to America? Let’s investigate!

Powerful people made up the Trump-Russia “scandal”? Let John Durham investigate!

Powerful people are intimately connected to the Jeffrey Epstein scandal? Go get ‘em!

Wall Street bankers committed crimes leading to the 2008 financial collapse? Go get ‘em!

Bush, Obama, and Trump all broke the law?

 

After much fuss and outrage, all of this … just … fadesaway. I imagine that in a few weeks, we’ll all forget about Andrew Cuomo and his nursing-home scandal.

 

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It’s not every day that we get a plug on someone else’s site, so let’s raise a glass to this shout-out from Artsploitation Films:

 

 

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So even 60 Minutes, a show I revered in my youth, is now incompetent at best, utterly corrupt at worst. If 60 Minutes reporters are supposed to be the crème de la crème of investigative journalism, how could Lesley Stahl interview a rumored child molester (about how bad Trump is) without realizing she is interviewing a rumored child molester?

I guess that any show that has Anderson Cooper as an alumnus is automatically suspect.

 

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Look up “bitch” in the dictionary and this is what you should find:

 

 

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This is why CNN has become the National Enquirer of cable news.

 

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I had never heard of this actress, probably because I avoid most action or Star Wars-themed shows. But I learned that she got canned from her Disney job for doing the unthinkable: speaking the truth.

So, I did a search of Gina Carano and found this picture:

 

 

Is that — or rather, are those — Gina Carano or some Internet fake?

Either way, I wish her career success.

 

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I am more and more digging The Babylon Bee.

 

**

 

 

LeBron James must be so proud.

 

**

 

Still waiting for your stimulus check? Sorry, you’ll have to wait a bit longer. The Senate, having exhausted itself over the grueling Trump impeachment proceedings, has more important tasks right now. Like taking a week-long vacation. Your check can wait.

 

© 2010-2021 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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grouchyeditor.com Cortez

 

Listening to A.O.C. get all emotional this week about how mean and scary some people are reinforces my belief (fear) that if the future of America is exemplified by politicians like her, then our future is to be ruled by clueless snowflakes.

 

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Before

 

Some weeks back I compared America-dominated-by-progressives to the Eloi waiting to be crushed by the Morlocks in H.G. Wells’s The Time Machine.

Now I’m thinking a better analogy might be the crowd of hapless dreamers atop the skyscraper in Independence Day, naively cheering on their enemy — the malevolent space aliens — just moments before they (the dreamers) are zapped out of existence.

 

After

 

Your blissful, globalized, identity-politics world would be a swell thing if not for the fact that some folks aren’t on board. You know, like the folks who run China and Russia. Who are waiting to crush you.

 

**

 

I’m not sure which is more cringe-inducing: Brett Favre attempting to act in the 1998 comedy There’s Something About Mary, or Favre attempting to be funny in his Tuesday interview with Tucker Carlson about … cheese.

 

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I wonder if TCM, which seems to be airing quite a few “woke”-themed movies lately, is running a bit scared.

After all, it isn’t that hard to find something “problematic” about pretty much every movie ever made. If the social justice warriors set their sights on TCM, well … Gone with the Wind will be just the first of many, many targets.

Is TCM taking pre-emptive action, by running, for example, documentaries about the civil rights movement in the 1960s?

 

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From Time magazine’s article about the “shadowy” elite working to make sure Trump didn’t get elected a second time:

 

grouchyeditor.com Time mag

 

There you have it. They were simply protecting democracy itself. Feel better now?

 

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The following comment on Twitter is cruel and tasteless, and we in no way endorse the commenter’s viewpoint:

 

 

On the other hand, after enduring four years of Twitter snipes about Donald Trump’s small penis, well, you know what they say: What’s good for the goose is ….

 

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(See story below)

 

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Yeah, I don’t understand it, either.

But I look at it this way: If you understand physics, you’re probably a nerd. If you understand the GameStop story, you’re probably an asshole. Unless you’re an amateur trader on Reddit, bringing down the big boys on Wall Street.

When they make the movie about this, because of course they will, I want Michael Douglas to play a hedge-fund manager, or possibly “Vlad” from Robinhood. That would be even more entertaining than Gordon Gekko’s comeuppance in Wall Street.

Speaking of the GameStop story, here is Tim Pool tearing Elizabeth Warren a new one. 

 

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I don’t have kids, so I’m not going to begin this rant with the obligatory caveat “I love teachers but …” that nearly every story that dares to criticize educators includes. So let me just ask: Is there a more selfish group in America than teachers?

Teachers already have retirement benefits, paid for by you, which are likely much cushier than what you have. They are near-impossible to fire. Now they apparently expect to be well-paid to not teach kids — at the expense of kids.

Although the vast majority of teachers are well below the age of 65, they also expect to be first in line for the virus vaccine. Because they are special. They are better than you.

And please don’t try to divorce teachers from their greedy unions, because the unions wouldn’t exist without teachers’ support.

 

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We don’t need a fence between the U.S. and Mexico. We need one between San Francisco and the rest of us.

 

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If you want to do something that is unpopular with the average citizen, claim that your goal is to accomplish one of three things: 1) keeping the public safe from the virus; 2) keeping the public safe from terrorism; or 3) advancing social “equity.” If you can convince enough people that you mean well, you can get by with just about anything.

 

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You go, girl.

 

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The best way to get attention for your video is nothing new: sex sells. That’s why so many videos have sensational thumbs and titles that don’t really jibe with their content, and why videos like the one below choose bare-skin shots for their thumbnails:

 

 

If you’re like us, you don’t want to watch the whole video; you just want to see bare ass. So here is the video above edited into two bite-sized segments. You’re welcome.

 

 

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One hundred years ago, the male of the species was thrilled to catch a glimpse of a well-turned female ankle, or perhaps, if he was lucky, a glimpse of thigh at the beach.

Today, thanks to COVID-19, men are deprived of seeing that most erogenous of zones, the female face. It’s become a rare treat to catch a peek of a gal’s cheek, or even, if our boy is really lucky, a partial proboscis.

In that spirit, we are proud to present a sneak preview of the magazine for 2021, Play Mask. Take a look at some of the girls featured in our debut pictorial:

 

Will she or won’t she? Teri the tease leaves us guessing (and gasping) as she begins to disrobe in public.

 

“Take it off! Take it all off!” Marcie prepares to leave work for the day — and leave us trembling like a bowl of shaken jelly.

 

Maria has plans to visit a nude beach this weekend, and her see-thru mask has us planning to go, as well.

 

Just in case you think Play Mask is unwilling to “go all the way,” have a look at cheeky Cherie, above, who has the audacity to go full-frontal.

 

Naughty Nancy wasn’t prepared to go full-frontal for us, but we’re happy to see full-nose, above.

 

Foxy Felicia, above, leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. And we love it.

 

 

© 2010-2021 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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As I type this, I am listening to an interview with Edward Snowden about the privacy abuse routinely committed by our so-called “national security” agencies. And I am depressed.

Earlier today, I was listening to news about Democrat desires to “deprogram” Trump supporters and conduct “truth and reconciliation” tribunals for other Trump supporters. And I am depressed.

I’ve already read Brave New World, 1984, and Fahrenheit 451 and have no desire to watch them play out in real life.

 

**

 

But what to do?

Well, if you are just an average Joe or Josephine or whatever sexual (or non-sexual) identity, we do have some precedent. The left unveiled it over the past few years and called it the “resistance.”

I am, as you’ve probably surmised, a saintly personality and would never advocate that anyone (outside of the rich and powerful, of course) do anything illegal. But purely as a hypothetical, here are a few suggestions for Deplorables:

 

Tips for the New Resistance

 

 

a.  Resist on a small scale. If tens of millions of us refuse to wear bicycle helmets, smoke cigarettes on a public beach, and point out that Biden appointee Rachel Levine (above) is one ugly motherfucker, those little things will eventually add up and drive the left insane.

b.  Ignore the laws you don’t like — just don’t get caught. We learned this lesson from the Democrats, who wanted legal marijuana, illegal immigrants, and censorship of conservative voices. All of those things were illegal per federal laws, but tell that to Colorado with its pot industry, major metropolises that call themselves “sanctuary cities,” and Jack Dorsey at Twitter.

c.  If you don’t like seatbelt laws, don’t wear them. Don’t like pot? Report your neighbors when you smell it and tell the cops that what you really smell is Marlboro Lights. If you are tired of illegal immigration … well, I can’t help you with that one. Vote for Ted Cruz, maybe.

d.  Refuse to follow the “woke” speech rules. Mispronounce Kamala’s name, intentionally. Refer occasionally to the Cleveland Indians or Atlanta Braves. Call Bruce Jenner a “he.” A.O.C. is now Sandy Cortez (thanks, Tucker Carlson). The mainstream media produces “fake news,” and “undocumented workers” are “illegal aliens.”

e.  Call out the left’s hypocrisy. Remind them that although Trump might not be a nice guy and he might not be as well spoken as previous presidents, he didn’t start any wars and, if he did commit crimes in office, they were nothing that Bill and Hillary and Barack and Joe didn’t do before him.

f.  As repugnant as it might be, you’ll have to participate in cancel culture. Don’t support entertainers who trash you and do boycott businesses who go woke.

g.  Tell your liberal friends (assuming you have any) that, due to voter fraud, Biden is illegitimate and “not my president.” Make sure to use the words “voter fraud.”

h.  If you must use Twitter or Facebook, use it to troll the left.

i.  Above all, do not let them get comfortable. Kill them with a million little social infractions.

 

**

 

 

No comment.

 

**

 

 

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I used to believe that the particular “4G” pictured above — Greed Is Good Gordon Gekko — was the biggest villain of the past 40 years, because he exemplified corporate America run amok.

And many of us glorified him.

But at least Gekko was upfront about his avarice. Now we have, seemingly, every corporation in the country hoarding the national wealth but distracting and disguising their greed by insisting they are really about “social justice.” They don’t say “greed is good;” they say they are simply here to promote the common good — as long as that good doesn’t inconvenience them.

 

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The Grouch was taken aback when he saw the story above in The New York Post about a former pastor at a Minnesota Lutheran church — because the Grouch, as a boy, attended a Minnesota Lutheran church.

He was further intrigued when he read Nikole Mitchell’s comments accompanying her provocative Instagram pictures:

 

 

Hmmm … you don’t suppose someone tampered with those comments, do you?

 

**

 

I love Citizen Kane, and David Fincher is my favorite working director. But I’ve had Fincher’s Mank on my Netflix watchlist for more than a month now and still haven’t watched it.

I can’t bring myself to much care about a drunken screenwriter who toiled and tippled 80 years ago.

 

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Remember all those Hollywood movies in which Tinsel Town congratulated itself for standing up to the terror and injustice of 1950s blacklisting? Movies like The Front and Trumbo?

Yeah, nothing hypocritical about today’s Hollywood, which promotes the blacklisting of conservatives.

 

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Congratulations, Democrats. You have now rendered meaningless not one but two once-powerful words: “racist” and “impeachment.”

 

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The only good reason to keep using Twitter is to troll pompous pricks:

 

 

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Who needs The Onion? I am digging The Babylon Bee.

 

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Myth Busting

 

MythViolence is never the answer. Progress has only been achieved through peaceful protest and persuasion. Typical proponent of this myth: YouTube’s Tim Pool.

Bust — I’m sorry, but you can’t downplay the single most important agent of social change in this country’s history: the American Revolution, which was violent as hell — and effective.

 

Myth — Social media like Twitter and Facebook must crack down on users who “incite violence” on their platforms. The only way to do this is through censorship and bans. Typical proponent of this myth: the mainstream media.

Bust — That might work in the short term, but those censored and banned users are not going to vanish. If they have no voice, they will eventually resort to violence.

 

MythThe rich and powerful (or “elites”) are in the best position to help reduce inequality and to restore faith in our institutions. Typical proponent of this myth: “helpful” elites like Bill Gates and Mark Cuban.

Bust — That’s half true. They are in the best position. Problem is, their “solutions” require no sacrifice from themselves. They simply distract everyone from the real problem by distributing crumbs and pitting groups at the bottom against each other.

 

Myth — Donald Trump is the root of all that ails us.

Bust — Trump has exposed what ails us, not caused it.

 

Myth — Donald Trump is the answer to all our problems.

Bust — Trump did well by exposing the elites. But he did little to change the system to require sacrifice from billionaires like Donald Trump.

 

If only the “Bernie Bros” and the “Deplorables” had recognized their common enemy: the 1 Percent. Instead of fighting each other over social-justice issues, they should have united to do battle with the real villains.

 

**

 

 

Sure, go ahead and ban the President of the United States from Twitter, impeach him again, or have him forcibly removed because he is “unfit” for office.

That will calm everyone down and teach his supporters a lesson. Everything will go back to normal.

 

**

 

 

This guy must go to prison because, for once, rioters went after the rich and powerful, rather than some hardscrabble salon owner in the inner city. We can’t have that!

 

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You don’t seem to get it. You are the enemy of the people.

 

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The e-mail below went out yesterday to employees of a Goodwill warehouse near my home:

 

 

In other words, “Nothing to worry about here, folks! Customers are waiting for their books and DVDs! We’re not paying you 12 bucks an hour for nothing, so get back to work!”

No one was sent home. If there were additional “cleaning and infection control” measures taken, it wasn’t apparent to the employees. 

My question: Why is it that when someone tests positive at some highfalutin white-collar office everyone panics and is sent home to their Zoom meetings, but the lowly, “essential” warehouse employees … well, get back to work!

 

© 2010-2021 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Tim Pool

 

Tim Pool and guests discuss the controversial “Great Reset” on this video.

You tell me: Is this “reset” something we should welcome, or does it spell doom for everyone but the global elite?

 

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I’m in a bind. I want to bone up on this so-called “great reset,” because I don’t trust the global fat cats who are reportedly behind it. But the book I have my eye on (Winners Take All) is written by a former New York Times columnist, and I no longer trust New York Times columnists.

Also, I want to order the book from Amazon, which is owned by one of the global fat cats, Jeff Bezos. I don’t like Jeff Bezos.

I can’t seem to gather information about the bad guys without financially rewarding the bad guys.

 

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Netflix Nattering

 

 

The Professor and the Madman:  This had the potential to be a great movie, and there are some memorable scenes. I love the plot because it’s original – it’s about the origin of the Oxford English Dictionary (stop yawning; some of us are word nerds). Mel Gibson and Sean Penn (pictured above) star and are both exceptional.

But it’s not as emotionally stirring as it obviously wants to be. I don’t know if that’s due to screenplay flaws or because of reported legal skirmishes between the production companies and Gibson.

The cliché that best describes this movie is “interesting misfire.”

 

 

Black SpotAsk fans of Twin Peaks to explain their fascination with the David Lynch drama and they might struggle to answer. Same thing for me and Black Spot. I’m weary of series with supernatural elements. Black Spot has supernatural elements. I’m tired of shows that dwell on family angst. Black Spot dwells on family angst.

But I’m watching Season 2 now and I can’t seem to stop. The characters intrigue me, and the spooky forest setting is atmospheric as hell. The whole village seems to be enveloped by the forest, which harbors no end of disturbing secrets. For some reason, I love that kind of thing.

 

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Why does my mood sour every time I see Mitch McConnell on the TV screen?

 

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The female sports reporter in the video below says she doesn’t like the fact that, when she enters a locker-room to interview male athletes after a game, she encounters male athletes after a game. Naked male athletes. 

 

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In the pictures above, we see Kristine Leahy at work interviewing (clothed) jocks.

Perhaps the boys have been looking at Kristine’s Instagram page and are merely letting her know that her cock-tease pictures (below) are working.

 

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We noticed that Kristine did not complain after interviewing our own Rip van Dinkle after his appearance in a recent hot-dog eating contest:

 

 

 

 

**

 

 

Exactly how many facelifts has creepy Joe Biden undergone? And you thought Trump was vain about his hair?

 

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Netflix’s new series Bridgerton (above) has been getting a lot of buzz. I checked the reviews:

 

 

With the exception of the (presumably) male from The Observer, all of the reviewers are female, and they are all impressed by Bridgerton.

And they say that the “chick flick” is dead.

 

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My Christmas Wish

 

What I wished for Christmas: I wanted to be magically transported to the year 2095, so that I can read in history books about 2020, rather than live through it.

Because politics are making my head explode.

 

**

 

No Christmas card for …

 

This guy:

 

 

I am an old white dude, and this guy seemingly wants to see me dead to “level the playing field” for underrepresented Americans. That means if I die because I was last in line for the virus vaccine, so be it.

But that’s OK, Harald, because the feeling is mutual.

 

**

 

The problem with both Newsmax and Parler is that they aren’t very user friendly. The two conservative outlets hope to usurp Fox News and Twitter, respectively, and right now is probably the optimal time to try.

But as the saying goes, you have to spend money to make money. In other words, polish your product.

 

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This week’s cheesecake is brought to you courtesy of the year 1933:

 

 

The babe is an actress named Peggy Shannon, stripping down to her skivvies in a disaster flick called Deluge. You can find it on YouTube.

 

**

 

Against our better judgment, we’re going to check in with Rip van Dinkle on Twitter:

 

 

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