Category: Weekly Reviews

 

 

 

**

 

 

People look back at the hair and fashion of the 1970s and they can’t stop laughing.

But you can’t tell me that in 40 years, maybe less, they’ll be able to stop laughing at hair like this:

 

 

 

**

 

Bad news, worse news for Saturday Night Live fans.

The bad news is that we won’t get any more Melissa McCarthy spoofs of dearly departed Sean Spicer.

The worse news is that we’ll still get Alec Baldwin’s tired Trump impersonation.

 

**

 

Critics love the term “peak TV.” I think they might be misspelling it.

 

“Peek TV” means you spend four or five minutes taking a peek at the latest piece of crap, then change the channel.

 

**

 

Awkward Conversations with Mom and Dad:

 

 

“Hi mom and dad. Guess what? I’m starring in a movie!”

(pause)

“No … I play the meat.”

 

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“Out-of-Context” Week

 

The problem with Internet video software is that it encourages one’s inner 12-year-old. It’s much too easy to create short, childish, out-of-context videos that make your TV targets look bad.

We did it anyway.

 

Local news anchors Chris and Liz were sent to the lake, where Liz shared Too Much Information:

 

Far be it from us to imply that Chris and Liz’s bare-bottomed escapades were anything other than, uh, innocent.

 

Meanwhile, conservative firebrand Tomi Lahren revealed on Fox News what her enemies would like to do:

 

 

I suppose you could call the above videos “fake news.”

 

Fortunately, the world is full of real news, such as this gem courtesy of The A.V. Club.

 

**

 

Every day we learn that more and more people attended that controversial meeting between Donald Trump, Jr. and a Russian lawyer.

 

At this rate, in a month we will discover that the meeting was actually a televised congressional hearing open to the public and media.

 

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 The Interview

 

Seems obvious that if we wind up in a nuclear war with North Korea, Hollywood will be to blame. There is precedent for this kind of thing.

 

grouchyeditor.com Chaplin

 The Great Dictator

 

Back in 1940, Charlie Chaplin released a satire about Adolf Hitler called The Great Dictator, and a few years later we were engaged in a world war with the mustachioed madman. In 2014, Seth Rogen and James Franco released a comedy about Kim Jong-un called The Interview, and then …

Nutzoid dictators don’t take kindly to Hollywood spoofs.

 

*****

 

Quote of the Week:

 

There are new hamsters in the Big Brother house, so we should have no shortage of memorable quotes this summer.

 

 Cody and his gal-pal

 

Cody: “I’ve done everything stupid that I possibly can.”

Cody’s Girlfriend: “That’s true.”

 

Also per tradition, the houseguests this year are quite camera-shy:

 

*****

 

grouchyeditor.com models

 

Maybe the new Shakespeare series on TNT will be one of the greatest shows in television history. But when I see ads in which the Bard of Avon is portrayed by yet another male-model type, well ….

 

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“Talking” Heads Who Just Can’t Seem To

 

On Wednesday, MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell showed why he’s one of America’s preeminent news anchors, giving viewers a master class on how to read a teleprompter:

 

**

 

grouchyeditor.com Harf

 

Someone needs to send talking head Marie Harf to a speech therapist. Either that, or certain words and phrases need to be off-limits to the mush-mouthed miss.

Seems like every time I catch Harf on TV, she is discussing something like the “administration’s structure” or its “strategy,” which comes out of her mouth as the “adminishtration’s shtructure” and “shtrategy.”

Luckily for Harf, the most common word on cable news these days is “Russia.”

 

**

  

Amazon is now censoring something it calls “spite speech.” In other words, if Amazon’s crew of amateur editors doesn’t like something you write in a product review, they spite you by banning it.

 

**

 

grouchyeditor.com Peaks

 

The most recent episode of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks was off the rails. The last time I was this confused/mesmerized by on-screen weirdness I was 10 years old and watching Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey in the Roxy Theater in Bird Island, Minnesota. (That’s not a complaint.)

 

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One of the perks of running a Web site that very few people read is that, when you’re thinking,“I don’t feel like publishing any crap today,” you don’t have to publish any crap today.

 

And so until next week, please enjoy this picture of Nancy Pelosi.

 

 

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*****

 

 

Good for C-SPAN, which finally got to broadcast something people wanted to watch. Well … at least for an inning or two.

 

*****

 

Sign of the Apocalypse No. 1

 

 

Sign of the Apocalypse No. 2

 

 

 

*****

 

 

If they are planning another reboot of The Addams Family, it will be a sad world indeed if they fail to cast Laura Prepon as Morticia.

 

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Smug Dicks and Creepy Pricks

 

 

There was something very satisfying about watching Bill Maher, who regularly lectures Americans about how “stupid” they are, eat shit on his show Friday after getting busted for using the n-word.

There was also something pathetic about watching the comedian try to pass off his mea culpa as a “teachable moment” for all of us, rather than what it really was: a lame attempt to preserve his bona fides with fellow liberals – not to mention his show on HBO.

 

*****

 

 

Jared Kushner: Who the hell is this rich punk? Apparently he’s been charged by his father-in-law with saving the world, yet I am still waiting to hear him utter a single word.

They say Robert Mueller is investigating Kushner’s role in possible collusion with Russia. I don’t believe that. I believe Mueller is investigating whether or not the kid’s vocal cords have been removed.

 

*****

 

Trump doesn’t seem to understand – or worse, doesn’t care – that “the swamp” isn’t just composed of Democrats, the media, and Obama holdovers. It’s also composed of creepy conservative pricks like this guy:

 

 

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Homophobia Week!

 

 

 

*****

 

I was as surprised as anyone when the White House introduced new Press Secretary Gary Blackman at Tuesday’s daily press briefing:

 

 

 

*****

 

 

Apparently the Lifetime logo in movie ads is meant to be the equivalent of the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval, or a symbol of quality, like whatever it is that Disney uses. But I’m afraid the logo is backfiring for some of us.

I was a bit intrigued by The House Sitter — until I noticed the dreaded Lifetime logo, at which point I thought: “ugh.”

 

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Weirdo David Lynch is back, delighting us – or torturing us, depending on your point of view – with an update of his 1990s TV series Twin Peaks. What can I say about David Lynch, the confounding auteur from Montana?

I loved his Blue Velvet because the movie was Goldilocks Lynch: It had just the right amount of the surreal, just the right amount of logic. But in other films Lynch’s stew is too exotic for my taste; his bizarre-to-rational balancing act is too heavy on the former.

I did not see Twin Peaks the series nor the feature film that came out in 1992, so I’m probably not qualified to review the Showtime update. For example, I am clueless about the new drama’s backstory. It’s hard enough to follow the peculiar residents of Twin Peaks, Washington, without knowing the history of the “Log Lady” or Laura Palmer. 

Hence, no review here, but rather some random impressions after I viewed the first three episodes:

 

grouchyeditor.com Peaks

 

Not surprisingly, critics are falling over themselves in praise of the show. But you have to wonder how many of them gave a thumbs’ up because they know that if they don’t, they’ll be accused by rabid fans of being too stupid to “get it” – whatever “it” is.

And so, is my thumb up or down? Well, I like the show, but can’t say that I love it. It’s visually arresting, often humorous, and never dull. But I have too much respect for story, and I get the impression that Lynch does not. He’d just as soon toss nonsense at us for the sake of tossing nonsense at us, and then call it a day.

 

 

Actress Madeline Zima, whose bare bottom figures prominently in the premiere, was born on Sept. 16. I was born on Sept. 16. In honor of our birthdays, here are some pictures of Madeline in her birthday suit:

 

grouchyeditor.com Zima

grouchyeditor.com Zima

grouchyeditor.com Zima

 

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*****

 

 

*****

 

Everyone is calling Trump investigator Robert Mueller “well respected.”

That’s what they said about James Comey. That’s what they say about a lot of these guys right before the shit hits the fan.

 

*****

 

If they go ahead and impeach Donald, we’ll all have to admit that he certainly increased ratings – and I’m sure we can all agree that’s the most important thing.

 

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