Category: Weekly Reviews

 

I realize that Midler got roasted for posing a similar question, but is baby formula the only way to keep an infant alive? How did people manage to feed their babies for thousands of years before the invention of this magic formula?

To answer your question, no, I don’t have kids. I am ignorant. “Obviously,” you are no doubt thinking.

Silly me. I thought plain old milk might suffice in a pinch.

 

In related news, how can Joe Biden possibly justify sending the stuff to illegal-alien parents when there isn’t enough for our own citizens?

This issue is making my head spin.

 

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Of course we are aware that Peterson is a celebrated author. But it amuses us to puncture oversize egos — even when they reside in men we otherwise admire.

 

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Every time Friday the 13th comes up on the calendar, we are reminded of our (sort of) friend Deborah Voorhees. So, it’s nice to see that she, or at least her anatomy, is also remembered by Mr. Skin (above).

Read The Grouch’s post about meeting Deborah here.

 

 

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Judging from his crackpot posts on Twitter, it seems likely that the bookcase toppled over and clonked Stephen King on the head.

 

 

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I’m a few years late, but I finally watched HBO’s acclaimed Chernobyl.

Maybe my expectations were too high after reading so many glowing reviews (pun intended). Or perhaps, with a plethora of disasters and near-disasters in the news these days, a miniseries documenting a nuclear disaster from 1986 was just … too much.

Or maybe I prefer the 1979 version of nuclear folly, called The China Syndrome.

But I was a bit disappointed by Chernobyl — except for the fifth and final episode, which was superb.

 

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Take that, fucking snowflakes.

 

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It might be time for Fox News to revamp its booking process. Do conservative viewers really want to hear more from Karl Rove, who approves of Joe Biden’s “disinformation” agency (“This is an important board,” says Rove)? Or from Lindsey Graham, whose feigned outrage over liberal excess has grown tiresome?

Rove and Graham are too entrenched in the cushy (for them) status quo. Give them both the boot, says I.

 

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Abortion Hullaballoo

 

Here’s what I said on January 1:

 

 

Of course, I could be wrong. Then again, I could be right.

That wishy-washy enough for you?

 

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As if the real world isn’t lousy enough these days, now I’m losing all my favorite TV shows.

Better Call Saul is ending, Ozark is over, and Peaky Blinders begins its final season next month. I might be forgetting a show or two, but that seems to leave only The Crown on my “must-see TV” list.

 

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The Grouch is an equal-opportunity jerk, trolling both the right-leaning Tim Pool and some left-leaning “comedian” he’s never heard of. Oh, yes, and also the usual suspects — clueless celebrities:

 

 

 

 

Yes, very cowardly. Kind of like some bozo on Twitter who blocks replies from people who might disagree with him.

 

 

 

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Last, and certainly least, here is a picture of Alison Brie’s ass from the movie Sleeping with Other People.

 

 

We post this screen capture for two reasons: 1) It’s been a while since we posted an ass picture, and 2) we’ve learned that if we insert the tag “Alison Brie’s ass,” this post is likely to get many more hits. You’re welcome.

 

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Believe it or not, we do strive to choose our words carefully here at The Grouchy Editor.

And so it was after much internal debate that we arrived at the following captions for the sub-humans pictured below.

 

 

“Treasonous Prick”

 

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“Lunatic Liberal”

 

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It’s pretty simple. The assholes pictured above are waging war against the middle class and Middle America.

If you are expecting help in this war from clowns like Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy, dream on.

Many, if not most, of the Republicans in congress are not interested in your welfare; they care only about their own power and cushy lifestyles. If that means going along to get along with the lunatic left currently in power, so be it.

 

It’s that simple.

 

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Kudos to whoever designed the above image for Fox, gloating about the demise of CNN’s streaming service.

But where is Don Lemon? You have got to have Don Lemon.

 

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Overused phrases that need to just stop:

 

“Wait–what?” — not cute anymore.

“The situation is fluid.” — unless it’s raining, just stop.

“His or her journey.” — Unless you’re referring to the Iditarod, stop doing this. I am not interested in “Bill’s weight-loss journey.”

 

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Wait — what? This is not the same guy?

 

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I look at these board members and I just want to … well. The word “smug” comes to mind.

 

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These are interesting times in cable news. Tune in to MSNBC or CNN, and there’s a good chance you’ll go a long while without seeing a straight, white male. On the other hand, tune in to Fox News and there’s a good chance you’ll see plenty of straight, white men.

Correction: straight, white, hairless men:

 

 

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This week’s “Review” is short-and-(not)-sweet because The Grouch is busy polishing the next Tale From The Grouch. Look for “Earl Smilius III,” probably tomorrow.

 

 

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Above, that’s a screen capture of a SPECTRE meeting in 1965’s James Bond movie, Thunderball. SPECTRE was a consortium of powerful bad guys seeking to destabilize the world for their own benefit.

I used to think that conceit was entertaining, but far-fetched.

Not anymore.

 

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I’m reserving judgment on the “Elon Musk Buys Twitter and Saves Free Speech!” bandwagon.

Seems like every time some public figure appears on the scene and seems heroic, things go sour.

I mean, once upon a time, I thought the guy pictured below was just what the doctor ordered:

 

 

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Yes, the visuals coming out of Ukraine are horrific. Sadly, we’ve seen wartime atrocities before.

But how do we describe the creepy wailing video (above) from Shanghai? Not to mention all of the other nightmarish Chinese scenes cropping up on Twitter.

 

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It’s always fun to see progressive Hollywood cancelling itself.

 

 

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Speak of the Devil …

 

OK, so let me see if I have this right: Twitter bans me for complimenting Kristi Noem’s boobs, but then sends me this because I might “like” it:

 

 

 

Speaking of Perversions …

 

 

Netflix’s Jimmy Savile: A British Horror Story, in which we learn about the crimes and perversions of English celebrity Savile, is disturbing stuff. The DJ/TV host/pal-of-the-Royals got by with child molestation for decades. He died in 2011 without ever being charged.

So how come I’d never heard of this guy?

I guess I was under the mistaken impression that because we share a common culture, British celebrities are also American celebrities. And vice versa. You know, like Alfred Hitchcock and The Beatles and Elvis are celebrities to all of us. But apparently that’s not always the case.

Makes me wonder if the Brits know who Bill Cosby is.

 

Speaking of Netflix …

 

 

The Bombardment is a pretty good World War II drama with a superb ending. The final scene of this movie is one of the most powerful I’ve ever seen. Yes, ever.

 

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Who’s Up

 

Elon Musk. Let’s see if he can restore free speech on Twitter. I suggest he start by canning all of Twitter’s “woke” employees.

 

Who’s Down

 

Joe Biden. Some folks felt bad for him because he was caught on camera wandering a reception like a lost puppy during Obama’s White House visit.

I don’t feel sorry for him because I think he belongs in prison.

 

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The Slap

 

Lots of attention this week on Will Smith and Chris Rock.

Call me a misogynist, but I suspect the real villain of this saga might be the hairless one. Looked to me like she was fake-mad at Rock’s G.I. Jane joke. Looked to me like she controls her dim-witted husband.

But apparently, Jada is above any sort of criticism because, well, black woman. Hairless black woman.

Look at the picture above. You telling me that’s not a Bond villain?

 

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Spring Break!

 

Well, not really. I think spring break is over. But what the hell, the girls are breaking out the bikinis, and so ….

I guess it depends on which part of the country you live in, but I can’t imagine the anchorwomen in my city posting half-naked bikini shots on their social media pages. But if you’re a news anchor in California, like Fresno’s Caroline Collins, pictured above on the left and below at work, anything goes.

Makes me long to be on that beach with a scissors. Snip, snip.

 

 

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Survivor has gone all “woke” lately and, apparently as part of that, the females are now more likely to resemble Rosie O’Donnell than Sydney Sweeney. Luckily for CBS cameramen, they still have contestant Tori Meehan for occasional crotch and ass shots:

 

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Someone Is Back on Twitter

 

 

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The Biden administration continues to add to its list of impressive achievements. We are already allowing the illegal-immigrant equivalent of a large American city to cross our southern border every year. Next month, with Title 42 in the trash can, we can welcome even more!

Meanwhile, rather than fix our pesky domestic problems, Joe and pals continue to lead us on a path to war in Europe.

Oh, and did I mention that, under Joe, the price of my gas and groceries is skyrocketing?

Some pundits speculate that a lot of this is happening as a result of a grand scheme to combat global warming.

But I’m still waiting for AOC to explain how we can solve that problem without the planet’s biggest polluters, China and India, on board with the plan.

 

 

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I enjoy Tim Pool’s podcast, although I don’t watch it every day — who the hell has time to watch a three-hour show every day? But it has one thing in common with most podcasts: the quality of the show is dependent on the guests.

 

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Malice, left, and Pool

 

Pool strives for ideological diversity in guests, but sometimes that means lame guests. The show was at its best Friday when beanie baby Michael Malice showed up. Some of anarchist Malice’s ideas seem crackpot, but he’s always interesting and funny.

Click here to watch the podcast.

 

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Above, what you do when you’re not quite sure if it’s two k’s or two y’s.

 

 

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Now that we’ve all decided that Ukraine represents David battling the Goliath that is Russia, and that Ukrainian President Zelensky is — take your pick — Superman or People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive,” I’m wondering how long before we start getting negative stories about Ukraine in general and about Zelensky in particular.

You know it’s just a matter of time.

Actually, the negative stories are already out there.

How’s this for a not-so-nice story:

 

 

 

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I can’t decide if Sebastian Gorka is pulling our collective leg in his most recent commercial for Relief Factor, or if he actually believes what he’s saying.

Either way, if you look up “pompous ass” in your dictionary (assuming anyone still does that), you’d have to find a picture of Gorka.

The only thing missing from this ad is the superimposition of God’s– er, Gorka’s head on Mount Rushmore:

 

 

 

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Twitter is banning everyone on the right for their political views. Again.

So how come Rip got banned for simply pointing out that Kristi Noem has nice tits?

 

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The Grouch is inflicting another short story on the world. Check out “The Hot Tub,” if you are so inclined. 

Here’s a complete list of his short stories with links (in green):

 

 

 . grouchyeditor.com Rusty  “Rusty” — Happy times in suburbia.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com revelation   “Revelation” — Unhappy times in suburbia.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com homebodies   “Homebodies” — The people next door.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com ass   “The Porthole” — Be careful what you wish for.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com the ufo   “The UFO” — Stand by me … and a UFO.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com Tales From Grouch   “Carol Comes Home” — The spirit of Norman Bates.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com thwup   “Thwup!” — The case for eating more (or less) beans.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com Wisdom   “Wisdom” — Cabin in the woods.

 

.        “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”  Thelma helps a guest.

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Americans    “The Americans”  — Kevin goes for the gold.

 

.        “Margaret” — The greatest love story of all time?

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Asmat     “The Hot Tub”  — Elites enjoy some “quality time.”

 

 

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Feeling Fatalistic

 

I can’t bring myself to write about the news this week, because it doesn’t seem to matter what any of us say. Our illustrious “leaders” are going to do what they’re going to do, no matter what. Complaining all the time is tiresome.

I am feeling fatalistic.

Instead, let me blabber about what the kids are interested in — HBO’s Euphoria.

 

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Feeling Euphoric

 

It was free-preview weekend on my cable service, so I checked out the teen-targeted Euphoria.

It seems clear that the show is Bret Easton Ellis for the Internet generation. Lots of young people doing drugs; lots of young people having sex; lots of teen angst.

My issue is with this message from the show’s creators: This is reality. Most of real life is awful. Watch miserable things happen to miserable teens on our show so that you’ll know you aren’t alone.

I have no doubt that the dreadful things and despicable people in Euphoria reflect dreadful things and despicable people in real life, but to pretend that this is exclusive “reality,” and we are all just stuck with it and so we might as well wallow in Euphoria’s misery is just … stupid.

And yet … there is something addictive about watching attractive young people doing bad or stupid things. And this show is very well made. Like the drugs it depicts, Euphoria is mesmerizing. It’s only later that you wonder, “why did I indulge in that crap?”

 

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Meanwhile, star Sydney Sweeney was in the news, complaining, but not really complaining, about her numerous nude scenes in the show. Here are some shots of Sydney in Euphoria:

 

 

I suspect that many fans of the show, primarily its male fans, aren’t so much interested in Euphoria’s bleak worldview as they are in actress Sydney. Below, an excerpt from E! Online:

 

 

The problem with that cliched comment, which we hear from actresses all the time, is that, sure, you and your character are “separate people.” But you share the same body. We’ll bet that baby brother Trent can’t tell the difference.

 

Above, actor Algee Smith enjoys some Sydney Sweeney.

 

Sydney does not seem to enjoy some Algee Smith.

 

Above, Sydney has some back-door action with a different actor.

 

But why look at pictures when you can watch the video?

 

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Juan Williams must have had a rough weekend.

Special Report with Bret Baier was on the TV but I wasn’t watching, just listening, when I could swear that I heard Williams issue a loud, involuntary snort smack-dab in the middle of something he was saying.

Sadly, I wasn’t recording the show (March 14, 5:55 p.m. Central time, if you want to look for it).

I thought I might find a clip on YouTube, but no such luck. I did, however, find this clip — from a different show on the same day:

 

 

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Now they are talking about World War III.

I told you we’d miss 2021.

 

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Our beloved “leaders” keep doing things that make no sense, which seem counterproductive, even harmful to their own constituents. Why do they do that?

In the past, I would have guessed that these “elites” act irrationally because someone (China?) has something on them. Some damaging dirt. Career-ruining blackmail material.

But these days, it seems that if we learn Bill Clinton was having sex with children every day for ten years, we’ll issue a collective sigh and wait for the next outrage. Ditto for Donald Trump and the peeing Russian hookers — will we simply yawn if actual evidence emerges? None of these honchos ever gets punished, so why should we even care?

Our leaders have no shame; they simply want to run the world. And get rich. And get laid.

 

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Rip keeps getting suspended by Twitter. Getting reinstated is a pain in the ass. Perhaps he’ll just hang out at Gab or Parler or GETTR or Trump’s new site — if it ever gets off the ground.

 

 

Well, Rip wasn’t wrong, was he?

 

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