Monthly Archives: February 2019

 

“Actors are cattle.” — Alfred Hitchcock

 

 

Listen up, Deplorables: It’s Oscar time! That means it’s time for you to celebrate and cheer for the celebrities who have made so clear their contempt for you!

Keep buying those tickets, and be sure to watch as your heroes pat themselves on the back at the Academy Awards!

Or, you could subscribe to the words of the late, great Alfred Hitchcock:

 

“I once said that actors are cattle. However, actors are children, and they’re temperamental, and they need to be handled gently and sometimes slapped.” – 1962 interview

 

 

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“The fly-over states have become the passed-over states, that’s why red-state voters are so pissed off. They don’t hate us, they want to be us.” — Bill Maher

Great point. Because who in fly-over country doesn’t envy Maher’s charm and good looks?

 

 

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Well, duh.

Of course she’s right. And at 47, she’s still a hot piece of ass.

 

 

OK, maybe not as hot as back in her swimsuit-model days (below), but still ….

 

 

 

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I’ve decided that there is every likelihood that by the end of 2020, the United States will indeed have a border wall stretching from sea to shining sea.

I now believe this will happen because no one in Washington – including Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell — seems to actually want a wall. And if you take into account the general lack of competence in our politicians, it’s only logical that we’ll wind up with something that none of them really wants.

 

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I finally saw Happy Death Day on my television set.  The 2017 horror-comedy was a hit and has a sequel now in theaters. As a horror movie, it’s pretty generic. As a romantic comedy, it’s just so-so. But there’s no denying the star-power of Jessica Rothe, pictured above, who’s a comic delight.

 

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Jerk-Off Fantasy of the Week:

 

(Click on photo for, uh, closer examination of 29-year-old Lorrae)

 

Get your boners on, boys; that’s an inviting, pumpable ass. It comes courtesy of Slutty Girl Problems founder and publisher Lorrae Bradbury, and it confirms my theory that, much like the powerful male CEO who privately likes to be whipped by a dominatrix, women who gain power have a secret desire to let men bend them over a table, pecker-poke them in the rear, and plant their seed.

That’s just a hunch. But why else would you advertise like this?

 

Bradbury also has boobs

 

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“Jussie Smollett has now reportedly hired a high-priced defense lawyer.” – Jonathan Hunt on Fox News

Question: Do celebrities ever hire a low-priced defense lawyer?

 

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by Bryan Gruley

 

A 15-year-old autistic boy goes missing and his parents receive cryptic texts and e-mails, including an apparent ransom demand.

Bleak Harbor was just … average; not terrible, but certainly nothing special. There is a lot of texting and hacking and computer sleuthing, which I suppose modernizes the plot, but this is a story we’ve read many times before. There is, of course, a “big twist” near the end. Alas, the unexpected turn isn’t particularly credible.

 

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T & A in the News

 

I’m sure there’s nothing intentionally smarmy about this voice-over for Tomi Lahren’s new show on Fox:

 

“Tomi heads to the border for an up-close and personal look at

“It’s a revealing five-part series.”

 

 

That’s an up-close and personal look, alright. Also, is it really that cold on the border?

 

 

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Fox never seems to run out of new T&A talent. Someone named Abby is hosting stuff on their streaming service. Abby is apparently qualified to do journalism because she played volleyball and her dad is a famous basketball coach.

 

 

We tried to find pictures of Abby’s butt, which must exist because she played volleyball, but we got tired of searching.

So instead, please enjoy these pictures of Fox’s Anna Kooiman from her Web site:

 

© Lyndon Marceau / marceauphotography

© Lyndon Marceau / marceauphotography

 

 

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Celebrity Big Brother contestant Natalie Eva Marie (above) got the boot on last night’s episode. She has often mentioned her real brothers on the CBS show.

I hope for the boys’ sake that they aren’t hormonal teenagers, because this image of their sister could mess them up for life:

 

grouchyeditor.com Eva Marie

 

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What with our minus-30-degree cold spells, we have a bad enough reputation here in Minnesota without the likes of this guy making the news:

 

 

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The news just gets more and more depressing:

 

 

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The Monster

grouchyeditor.com Monster

 

It’s a simple title and a simple story, but sometimes that’s all you need. The Monster, in which a troubled mother and her 10-year-old daughter are terrorized by a creature in the woods, owes a debt to similar filmssubstitute the creature in Alien for the rabid dog in Cujo, and you have the gist of it — but what’s a pleasant surprise is the relationship between mom and her kid. Believe it or not, they seem both real and intelligent. In a horror movie. Go figure. Release: 2016 Grade: B

 

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From the Department of “God I Am Getting Old”

 

This post appeared on my Twitter feed:

 

 

I had no idea of what an “incel” is, so I had to look it up. Then, I had no idea what a “dogpill” is, so I had to look that up.

Sadly, now I know.

 

It’s all further evidence that Western civilization is about to collapse. I first became aware of this when I learned that Oscar winner Jennifer Connelly made a movie in which some dude cums on her face.

 

Jennifer Connelly making a splash

 

Additional evidence came when my buddy at YouTube’s Horrible Reviews devoted an entire segment to a filmmaker who makes poop movies.

I oppose censorship, but it would be nice if more of us would vote with our remotes or delete buttons, so we could start seeing a bit less of this (literal) shit.

 

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“You’re just there to report on the corn-hole competition.” – Leland Vittert to cute co-anchor Kristin Fisher (above) on Fox News. Here’s the video:

 

 

Corn hole … corn hole?

 

 

Where had I heard that word? Oh, yeah. This movie:

 

 

 

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OK, the bonehead governor of Virginia should probably go. But here’s a question for Democrats:

You do realize, don’t you, that if you continue to hammer every public figure for every crime and misdemeanor committed in high school, college, or kindergarten, the only people left to vote for will be spotless gems like Mitt Romney and Mike Pence?

 

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Actress Andree Maranda gets corn holed by some black dude in The Toxic Avenger

 

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