The Weekly Review: April 3 – 9

Idol Thoughts

 

grouchyeditor.com Hung

 

I tuned in to the American Idol finale to see if I could remember why I was never much of a fan. It didn’t take long. The guy who won the final contest … just dreadful. You’d have to pay me to go watch him.

On the other hand, this Hung guy pictured above, now there’s a talent.

 

*****

 

If you read much Shakespeare, you come away with the impression that most human activity is motivated by our basest instincts; our hearts rule our heads. Hence, the following musings on the possible motivations of some prominent politicians — behavioral explanations you don’t often hear from political pundits:

 

  • George Bush invaded Iraq in large part because he wanted revenge on Saddam Hussein for the dictator’s attempt to assassinate Bush’s daddy.
  • Obama views most American citizens as spoiled children; thus, his speeches that sound like he’s losing patience and is lecturing us.
  • Hillary wants to prove to Bill that she can do a better job as president. Hillary resents Bill’s presidential philandering, and now expects his support.
  • Chris Christie got into politics because there are all those banquets and luncheons. Doesn’t matter if it’s a corn dog at the state fair or a thousand-dollar-per-plate fundraiser, sampling food is an essential part of a politician’s life.
  • Trump … I can’t figure out his motivation. Could be daddy issues or mommy issues. Somehow, I doubt that he’s in this race to make America great again for Joe the Plumber.
  • Despite his lovable-old-coot image, Bernie Sanders seems like one angry dude. Watch how difficult it is for him to muster a smile when someone cracks a joke.
  • John Kasich is not the “adult in the room.” He is one weird fucker who once blew up at a local Blockbuster Video for daring to stock the movie Fargo.

 

*****

 

Cable-news airheads keep mentioning the terrorist attack in “Brussel.” Did they stop teaching geography in schools?

 

*****

 

“You can’t win the Super Bowl unless you make some adjustments at halftime, right? That’s exactly what the Trump campaign is doing.” — Gloria Borger on CNN

 

Depends, Gloria. If you’re ahead by 40 points or if you’re playing the Minnesota Vikings, I’d say go ahead and just keep on doing what you’ve been doing.

 

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