Daybreakers

 

Daybreakers is a vampire movie with a social conscience.  It’s a horror film that doesn’t settle for violence and gore; it also wants to make you think.  And that’s what’s wrong with the blasted thing.

As the movie unfolded and began to bombard me with allusions to 1) class warfare, 2) immigration, 3) vegetarianism, 4) capitalism, 5) conservation, and  6) the kitchen sink, I could picture the directors (two brothers again; what is it with all these sibling directors — do studio heads now demand them?) planning their DVD commentary.  No simple discussion of wooden stakes and garlic for the Spierig brothers.  Nope, they would discuss social issues!  That’s an admirable goal for a movie with just one hitch — a vampire film first and foremost needs to be scary.  If you get that part right, then you can discuss serious stuff on the DVD. 

(Confession:  I haven’t seen the DVD.  Perhaps there isn’t any commentary, but you get my point.)

I also kept thinking of another vampire movie I recently watched, called 30 Days of Night.  That film worked because it had a very simple plot.  A horde of scary-looking bloodsuckers descends on an Alaskan village and does battle with the townspeople.  That’s pretty much it.  Danny Huston plays a truly terrifying vampire, and not once as I watched him was I reminded of conservation.  Or immigration.

I’d go into the plot details of this film, but if you’ve seen I Am Legend, you pretty much get the idea.  A terrible virus or plague or something mutates most humans into blah, blah, blah.  Daybreakers, by trying to make big statements, is instead a pretentious little bore.          Grade:  C-

 

Directors:  Michael Spierig, Peter Spierig  Cast:  Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Michael Dorman, Claudia Karvan, Sam Neill  Release:  2010 

 

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by Sarah Silverman

Bedwetter

 

The challenge for any memoirist is to win readers over to his or her side, and in The Bedwetter comedian Sarah Silverman succeeds — most of the time.  Silverman, who seems to be more famous (or infamous) for her periodic political dustups than for her showbiz career, comes across as intelligent, witty, self-deprecating … and sometimes as annoying as the six-year-old brat next door.

The book is most entertaining when Silverman depicts her childhood and coming-of-age in 1980s New Hampshire.  When she’s not penning sarcasm and poop jokes, her more-reflective passages are often touching.  On the other hand, near the end of the book Silverman laments, “At the time that this book is being written, I am single.”  Having just read about some of her childish exploits with colleagues at Comedy Central, my reaction to this statement was:  “And this is surprising to whom?”

 

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Rope1

 

Arthur Laurents, the screenwriter for Alfred Hitchcock’s Rope, said that the famous director had no desire to make a film about homosexuality.  Hitchcock, Laurents said, also had no interest in filming yet another story about garden-variety murder.  What the genius filmmaker wanted to do was more problematic — especially back in 1948.  Hitchcock wanted to make a movie about homosexual killers.

Rope is obviously about homosexuals [although] the word was never mentioned,” Laurents says in a DVD interview.  “It [homosexuality] was referred to as ‘it.’  They were going to do a picture about ‘it.’  And the actors were ‘it.’”

Rope is loosely based on the thrill killing of a 14-year-old boy in 1924 by Leopold and Loeb, two wealthy young Chicagoans.  The movie is best known for an innovative filming technique.  Hitchcock chose to photograph the story in real time, in a series of approximately ten-minute takes.  Thus, there are less than a dozen cuts in the entire film – something not done before and not done since.  “It was a gigantic trick,” Laurents says, “and that’s what interested him.”  Hitchcock was so gifted that no gimmick (he also used 3-D in Dial M for Murder) could prevent him from doing with Rope what he did so often:  create another cinematic classic.

Amusingly, the Jimmy Stewart character — a former teacher of the two young killers — was also intended to be homosexual.   But Stewart was just too darn hetero for that idea to fly.  As a result, Laurents claims, “The picture was curiously off-focus and didn’t have the sexual center it should have.”  Maybe so, but Rope remains Hitchcock’s most fascinating experiment.      Grade:  B+

 

Rope2

 

Director:  Alfred Hitchcock  Cast:  James Stewart, John Dall, Farley Granger, Cedric Hardwicke, Constance Collier, Douglas Dick, Edith Evanson  Release:  1948

 

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Edge

 

Sometimes I wonder why England, Japan, Sweden, and other victimized countries haven’t united to file some sort of class-action lawsuit against Hollywood.  Tinseltown has an annoying habit of taking perfectly good foreign movies, stuffing them into the blender of American culture — adding car chases and rock music — and then spitting out unrecognizable glop it calls “remakes.”

Next up on the hit list is poor Sweden, which will see not one but two of its recent successes – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and Let the Right One In – regurgitated by Hollywood.

Edge of Darkness, the Mel Gibson thriller newly out on DVD, is not a bad remake. It’s just incredibly mundane.  I haven’t seen the BBC Television series that the film is based on, but critical reviews of the time (1985) acclaim it as excellent drama.  The Gibson version has the same director (Martin Campbell) as the original series, so I guess this downgrade isn’t entirely America’s fault.

But a lot of people don’t give a hoot about old British miniseries.  They just want Mel to get mad, get armed, and get payback, all of which he does as a Boston detective out to avenge the murder of his daughter, who was out to expose criminal collusion between a nasty corporation and the government.  As if to remind us that another country once did this story much better, there is one sparkling performance in the new film – it’s the role of CIA agent Jedburgh, played by Ray Winstone who is, naturally, British.       Grade:  C

 

Edge2

 

Director:  Martin Campbell  Cast:  Mel Gibson, Ray Winstone, Danny Huston, Bojana Novakovic, Shawn Roberts, David Aaron Baker  Release:  2010

 

Edge3     Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

 

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Friday

 

Back when women in the workplace were a rarity, director Howard Hawks saw the situation as rich with comic possibilities.  Check out Hawks’s 1940 screwball classic starring Cary Grant, Rosalind Russell, and Ralph Bellamy.

 

Friday2

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  by Stieg Larsson

Dragon

 

Sometimes the movie is better than the book.  That isn’t to say that Stieg Larsson’s novel isn’t entertaining, because it is.  It’s just too long, and unlike the Swedish film version of his story, it gets its climaxes wrong.  There are two major plot threads in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, one involving a white-collar criminal, and the other about a serial killer.  The movie rightfully builds to a tense wrap-up dispatching the sadistic murderer; Larsson’s mystery takes care of the killer and then devotes 100 anticlimactic pages to the other business.

But it’s a sign of a good read when it isn’t until after you put the book down that you say to yourself, “That was highly improbable.”  There are lots of head-scratching moments in Girl, but they don’t occur to you while you’re turning the pages.  Alfred Hitchcock realized that some of his movie plots were downright silly, but he didn’t care as long as the audience was ensnared.  By that measure, “you go Girl.”

 

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Black1

 

The other night I happened upon a little Australian thriller called Black Water.  I thought it was pretty good, but I’d never heard of it, so when it was over I looked up some reviews.  Although most reviewers were positive, there were two recurring criticisms from the naysayers:  the movie’s low budget, and its “unlikable” characters.  If that’s the criteria to go by, I reckoned, then we’d might as well dismiss The Godfather (all those unlikable mobsters) and gems like Paranormal Activity (which probably cost less to produce than Rupert Murdoch’s breakfast).

Black Water will never be hailed as a cinematic milestone, but it is deserving of comparison to a film like Jaws – especially when you consider that piddling budget.  That’s high praise for the movie’s directors, who manage to achieve and sustain high tension from a simple story, supposedly based on true events, about three people trapped by a ravenous crocodile in a secluded mangrove swamp.

I recently yawned through the big-budget remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.  God knows how much money was spent on the production, distribution, and marketing of that rehash.  And then I found an unheralded Aussie flick on TV that kept me riveted – low budget, “unlikable” characters and all.      Grade:  B+

 

Directors:  David Nerlich, Andrew Traucki  Cast:  Diana Glenn, Maeve Dermody, Andy Rodoreda, Ben Oxenbould  Release:  2007

 

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Night1

 

The genius of Wes Craven’s original A Nightmare on Elm Street was its ability to seamlessly transition between dreams and reality.  Was Susie awake, or was she dreaming and about to encounter the psychopathic Freddy Krueger?  This kind of cinematic sleight of hand was ideal for Hollywood; who better to create nightmares than the “Dream Factory”?

A Nightmare on Elm Street, current edition, gets some of this stuff right with its darkly surrealistic sets, but not often enough.  Instead, Samuel Bayer’s remake relies on two tired, tired horror-movie clichés:  the sudden, deafening roar/bang/shout/scream on the soundtrack, and/or someone abruptly popping up out of a dark corner of the screen.

I used to work with a fellow who would jump through the ceiling if you snuck up behind him and did one little thing – softly clear your throat.  I suspect that it would not have startled him if someone were to instead sneak up and shout BOO!  The mild throat-clearing told his subconscious two things:  Someone is right behind me, and he or she might have been standing there for a long time.  Very unsettling.  The makers of movies like Nightmare would do well to learn that subtlety can be much more terrifying than, say, a screeching cat.

Still, if you are 15 years old and have not seen a gazillion horror flicks, like I have, this Nightmare does what it promises to do:  provide cheap thrills.  Nothing more, nothing less.  I have noticed one trend in recent horror movies.  Back in the good old days (1970s-’90s), it wasn’t really a horror film unless there was at least one gratuitous nude scene.  Nightmare does have a bathtub scene, yet there is no actual nudity.  I don’t understand this.  If your film is already a “guilty pleasure,” why hold back?       Grade:  C

 

Night3

 

Director:  Samuel Bayer  Cast:  Jackie Earle Haley, Kyle Gallner, Rooney Mara, Katie Cassidy, Thomas Dekker, Kellan Lutz, Lia D. Mortensen  Release:  2010

 

Night2       Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

 

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Obama

 

My Emily Litella Moment

 

During the bomb scare this week in Times Square, I had to admit that the anti-Obama crowd was right:  Our president was showing an alarming lack of leadership.  I came to this conclusion after listening to news reports that “the president is busy on the golf course.”

This was an awful development.  He was playing golf during a possible terrorist attack?

“Obama is taking a tour of the golf course,” a TV anchor informed me.  And then I realized my Emily Litella mistake.  Obama wasn’t touring the “golf course. ” He was touring the “gulf coast,” in the wake of the oil spill.

As Emily would say, never mind.

 

EmilyLitella

 

*****

 

Taylor

 

Sports writers are not to be trusted.  Now that Lawrence Taylor (above) is in trouble again, I am hearing  professional jock sniffers talk about what a horrible person he is.

Decades after revered Yankee Mickey Mantle retired, we found out what a drunken jerk he was.  Here in Minnesota, Kirby Puckett was baseball’s “ambassador” of good will — until we found out, years later, that he was busy chasing his wife around the house with a chain saw.

Sportswriters won’t tell you about any of this misbehavior until after a) the jock is traded to another city; b) the jock dies or has been retired for many years; or c)  said misbehavior can no longer be ignored.

But times might be changing, thanks to the Internet and cell-phone cameras.  Just ask Josh Hamilton (bottom), who can no longer enjoy a night out on the town without some bozo posting pictures.

 

Mantle

 

Hamilton

 

 

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Secret1

 

How important are a good story and likable stars to a motion picture?  Let me recount my experience at a screening of The Secret in Their Eyes, this year’s foreign-language Best Picture winner.

About ten minutes into the movie, the theater’s sound system broke down.  It was fixed, but five minutes later the soundtrack again malfunctioned, this time blaring Muzak at us over the theater speakers.  The problem was eventually resolved.  An audience member’s cell phone began ringing.  And ringing.  And ringing.  Later, someone else’s cell began chiming.  The third time this happened, there was a near-riot as other patrons ran out of patience, demanding the offender “shut it off!” 

When you factor in the inherent demands placed on an audience by an Argentinean, subtitled movie with a complex plot, it’s a wonder we didn’t all march out in a huff, demanding refunds.  Or at the very least attempt to lynch the cell-phone owners. 

That didn’t happen, which I believe is a testament to Secret stars Soledad Villamil and Ricardo Darin, a first-rate supporting cast, and a multilayered plot with great romance and a better-than-average mystery.  There are two puzzles in director Juan Jose Campanella’s story:  Will the characters played by Villamil and Darin at long last  — 25 years after first meeting — become a couple?  And who brutally raped and murdered a young bride in 1974?

Villamil and Darin, as justice department colleagues drawn into the crime investigation, bring such believability and maturity to their roles that, mercifully, I forgot all about those damn ringing cell phones.       Grade:  B+

 

Director:  Juan Jose Campanella  Cast:  Ricardo Darin, Soledad Villamil, Guillermo Francella, Javier Godino, Pablo Rago, Carla Quevedo  Release:  2009

 

Secret2

 

Secret3                 Watch Trailers  (click here)

 

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