The Grouchy Editor

.                                                              1986                      2019

 

One of the blowhards on Fox’s The Five said he planned to see the new Top Gun flick this weekend because it’s a “patriotic” thing to do.

Not so sure about that.

Apparently, the film’s producer in 2019 altered a uniform patch (above) depicting the Japanese and Taiwanese flags so as not to offend its good friends in China — but then backed down due to public backlash.

But is it “patriotic” to support these clowns in Hollywood — flags or no flags?

 

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So, we have yet another school massacre.

What do a lot of these young assassins have in common?

Answer: Either no father at home or a bad father at home.

 

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The media keep referring to Uvalde as a “small town.” Bullshit.

I was raised in a village with a population of 1,300. In other words, it was an actual small town.

Uvalde, population 15,217, is a “town.”

Get it right, city slickers.

 

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Too many people seem to assume that towns — including small towns — have access to the same kinds of resources and personnel that city folk have.

They do not.

 

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I have little interest in the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial. I do, however, still like Amber’s ass:

 

 

Sadly, apparently Amber thinks of Johnny in the sack like this:

 

 

Also sadly, Johnny probably thinks of Amber in the sack like this:

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Peterson is, as usual, correct. The Sports Illustrated model does have an attractive face, but as for the rest of her … well, not so much.

Like I said, Peterson is, as usual, correct.

 

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Who the hell is this woman? And who did she bang at the New York Post to warrant so much publicity?

 

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There is often a divergence of opinion between critics and a movie’s fans, but good lord. A 74-point difference of opinion?

 

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Why is it that our politicians (and most media) talk only about the huge influx of illegal immigrants from the past few years?

Is it no longer a problem that, depending on which estimate you believe, we already have anywhere from 12-20 million illegal aliens solidly entrenched here? Are we supposed to forget about that?

 

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Get rid of them all. This show has sucked for years.

 

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Last but certainly not least, we just posted a new Tale From The Grouch. Check out “An Overcast Day,” and then peruse all 14 short stories listed below.

Here’s a complete list of Grouch’s short stories with links (in green):

 

 

 .    “Rusty” — Happy times in suburbia.

 

.    “Revelation” — Unhappy times in suburbia.

 

.    “Homebodies” — The people next door.

 

.    “The Porthole” — Be careful what you wish for.

 

.    “The UFO” — Stand by me … and a UFO.

 

.    “Carol Comes Home” — The spirit of Norman Bates.

 

.    “Thwup!” — The case for eating more (or less) beans.

 

.    “Wisdom” — Cabin in the woods.

 

.        “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”  — Thelma helps a guest.

 

.       “The Americans”  — Kevin goes for the gold.

 

.        “Margaret” — The greatest love story of all time?

 

.        “The Hot Tub”  — Elites enjoy some “quality time.”

 

.        “The Climate Changer” — Earl has a secret weapon.

 

.        “An Overcast Day”   — The important thing in life.

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

I realize that Midler got roasted for posing a similar question, but is baby formula the only way to keep an infant alive? How did people manage to feed their babies for thousands of years before the invention of this magic formula?

To answer your question, no, I don’t have kids. I am ignorant. “Obviously,” you are no doubt thinking.

Silly me. I thought plain old milk might suffice in a pinch.

 

In related news, how can Joe Biden possibly justify sending the stuff to illegal-alien parents when there isn’t enough for our own citizens?

This issue is making my head spin.

 

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Of course we are aware that Peterson is a celebrated author. But it amuses us to puncture oversize egos — even when they reside in men we otherwise admire.

 

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Every time Friday the 13th comes up on the calendar, we are reminded of our (sort of) friend Deborah Voorhees. So, it’s nice to see that she, or at least her anatomy, is also remembered by Mr. Skin (above).

Read The Grouch’s post about meeting Deborah here.

 

 

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Judging from his crackpot posts on Twitter, it seems likely that the bookcase toppled over and clonked Stephen King on the head.

 

 

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I’m a few years late, but I finally watched HBO’s acclaimed Chernobyl.

Maybe my expectations were too high after reading so many glowing reviews (pun intended). Or perhaps, with a plethora of disasters and near-disasters in the news these days, a miniseries documenting a nuclear disaster from 1986 was just … too much.

Or maybe I prefer the 1979 version of nuclear folly, called The China Syndrome.

But I was a bit disappointed by Chernobyl — except for the fifth and final episode, which was superb.

 

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Take that, fucking snowflakes.

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Believe it or not, we do strive to choose our words carefully here at The Grouchy Editor.

And so it was after much internal debate that we arrived at the following captions for the sub-humans pictured below.

 

 

“Treasonous Prick”

 

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“Lunatic Liberal”

 

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It’s pretty simple. The assholes pictured above are waging war against the middle class and Middle America.

If you are expecting help in this war from clowns like Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy, dream on.

Many, if not most, of the Republicans in congress are not interested in your welfare; they care only about their own power and cushy lifestyles. If that means going along to get along with the lunatic left currently in power, so be it.

 

It’s that simple.

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Kudos to whoever designed the above image for Fox, gloating about the demise of CNN’s streaming service.

But where is Don Lemon? You have got to have Don Lemon.

 

**

 

Overused phrases that need to just stop:

 

“Wait–what?” — not cute anymore.

“The situation is fluid.” — unless it’s raining, just stop.

“His or her journey.” — Unless you’re referring to the Iditarod, stop doing this. I am not interested in “Bill’s weight-loss journey.”

 

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Wait — what? This is not the same guy?

 

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I look at these board members and I just want to … well. The word “smug” comes to mind.

 

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These are interesting times in cable news. Tune in to MSNBC or CNN, and there’s a good chance you’ll go a long while without seeing a straight, white male. On the other hand, tune in to Fox News and there’s a good chance you’ll see plenty of straight, white men.

Correction: straight, white, hairless men:

 

 

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This week’s “Review” is short-and-(not)-sweet because The Grouch is busy polishing the next Tale From The Grouch. Look for “Earl Smilius III,” probably tomorrow.

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Above, that’s a screen capture of a SPECTRE meeting in 1965’s James Bond movie, Thunderball. SPECTRE was a consortium of powerful bad guys seeking to destabilize the world for their own benefit.

I used to think that conceit was entertaining, but far-fetched.

Not anymore.

 

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I’m reserving judgment on the “Elon Musk Buys Twitter and Saves Free Speech!” bandwagon.

Seems like every time some public figure appears on the scene and seems heroic, things go sour.

I mean, once upon a time, I thought the guy pictured below was just what the doctor ordered:

 

 

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Yes, the visuals coming out of Ukraine are horrific. Sadly, we’ve seen wartime atrocities before.

But how do we describe the creepy wailing video (above) from Shanghai? Not to mention all of the other nightmarish Chinese scenes cropping up on Twitter.

 

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It’s always fun to see progressive Hollywood cancelling itself.

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Speak of the Devil …

 

OK, so let me see if I have this right: Twitter bans me for complimenting Kristi Noem’s boobs, but then sends me this because I might “like” it:

 

 

 

Speaking of Perversions …

 

 

Netflix’s Jimmy Savile: A British Horror Story, in which we learn about the crimes and perversions of English celebrity Savile, is disturbing stuff. The DJ/TV host/pal-of-the-Royals got by with child molestation for decades. He died in 2011 without ever being charged.

So how come I’d never heard of this guy?

I guess I was under the mistaken impression that because we share a common culture, British celebrities are also American celebrities. And vice versa. You know, like Alfred Hitchcock and The Beatles and Elvis are celebrities to all of us. But apparently that’s not always the case.

Makes me wonder if the Brits know who Bill Cosby is.

 

Speaking of Netflix …

 

 

The Bombardment is a pretty good World War II drama with a superb ending. The final scene of this movie is one of the most powerful I’ve ever seen. Yes, ever.

 

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Who’s Up

 

Elon Musk. Let’s see if he can restore free speech on Twitter. I suggest he start by canning all of Twitter’s “woke” employees.

 

Who’s Down

 

Joe Biden. Some folks felt bad for him because he was caught on camera wandering a reception like a lost puppy during Obama’s White House visit.

I don’t feel sorry for him because I think he belongs in prison.

 

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© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Now that we’ve all decided that Ukraine represents David battling the Goliath that is Russia, and that Ukrainian President Zelensky is — take your pick — Superman or People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive,” I’m wondering how long before we start getting negative stories about Ukraine in general and about Zelensky in particular.

You know it’s just a matter of time.

Actually, the negative stories are already out there.

How’s this for a not-so-nice story:

 

 

 

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I can’t decide if Sebastian Gorka is pulling our collective leg in his most recent commercial for Relief Factor, or if he actually believes what he’s saying.

Either way, if you look up “pompous ass” in your dictionary (assuming anyone still does that), you’d have to find a picture of Gorka.

The only thing missing from this ad is the superimposition of God’s– er, Gorka’s head on Mount Rushmore:

 

 

 

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Twitter is banning everyone on the right for their political views. Again.

So how come Rip got banned for simply pointing out that Kristi Noem has nice tits?

 

**

 

The Grouch is inflicting another short story on the world. Check out “The Hot Tub,” if you are so inclined. 

Here’s a complete list of his short stories with links (in green):

 

 

 .  “Rusty” — Happy times in suburbia.

 

.    “Revelation” — Unhappy times in suburbia.

 

.    “Homebodies” — The people next door.

 

.    “The Porthole” — Be careful what you wish for.

 

.    “The UFO” — Stand by me … and a UFO.

 

.    “Carol Comes Home” — The spirit of Norman Bates.

 

.    “Thwup!” — The case for eating more (or less) beans.

 

.    “Wisdom” — Cabin in the woods.

 

.        “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”  — Thelma helps a guest.

 

.       “The Americans”  — Kevin goes for the gold.

 

.        “Margaret” — The greatest love story of all time?

 

.        “The Hot Tub”  — Elites enjoy some “quality time.”

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)