Category: Weekly Reviews

 

What strikes me about news coverage of this Ukraine mess is how many politicians and pundits speak as if U.S. involvement in a new war is a no-brainer, something that’s already in progress. It’s as if they know that if they speak about war with Russia as a fait accompli, and say it often enough, people will begin to believe that we have no choice but to get involved.

 

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I guess you can add Neil Cavuto to the list of Fox warmongers. Cavuto devoted the bulk of his show this morning to a Ukrainian woman — holding a baby, no less — begging for military intervention, especially from Joe Biden.

Because, you know, her plight is really the responsibility of America, not her European neighbors.

I would humbly suggest that she go to Putin’s good (oil) customer, Germany, and see if the Germans can help.

 

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As for Biden, I guess destroying the United States isn’t ambitious enough for him. Give him a bit more time, and I’m sure he can turn this Russian invasion into World War III.

 

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My Sloppy Reporting 1

 

 

How did I not know about this Gu chick? That’s what I get for tuning out the Olympics.

 

My Sloppy Reporting 2

 

I must be getting old. Ten years ago, I would have been aware that a former Playboy Playmate was in the house on Celebrity Big Brother. But I just now learned that evicted hamster Shanna Moakler used to be a Hugh Hefner squeeze.

Here is Shanna in her glory days:

 

 

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I’ll always be fond of Mike Lindell because when they were trying to cancel Tucker Carlson advertisers, he stood tough. But good lord, these ads in which he boasts about the materials in his bedsheets coming from some exotic locale in the Mideast … if ever a pitchman comes off like a snake-oil salesman, it’s Mike Lindell.

 

***

 

Meanwhile, U.S. truckers are headed east. Go, truckers, go!

And let’s go, Brandon!

 

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Above, Justin Trudeau plotting the destruction of Canada … just kidding. See below.

 

“The simplest explanation is usually the best one.”

Occam’s razor (sort of)

 

George Bush went to war with Iraq because Saddam Hussein tried to assassinate George’s daddy.

Bill Clinton lied about his affair with Monica because he was afraid of Hillary’s wrath.

Congress embraced masks, mandates, and lockdowns because most Congresspeople are old, vulnerable, and fearful.

 

Could all be true. They are simple explanations. We do tend to overthink things.

 

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Trudeau, the pretty boy petty tyrant — it’s what we’d get in the U.S.A. if we were ever dumb enough to elect A.O.C. to the presidency.

 

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I told you it was foolish to say good riddance to 2021.

2022 will be worse.

 

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Biggest fail of the 21st century?

The media. Here’s why:

I have little doubt that if I were suddenly handed a great deal of money and power, I would become corrupt. I’m guessing you would go bad, too.

It’s not news that throughout history, including right now, people in power are rotten to the core. If they’re not, they soon will be.

Regular folks are too busy with their own lives to monitor the scoundrels. That job is supposed to belong to the media.

And the media has become a joke.

 

**

 

 

I wasn’t sure who Regina Hall is. I looked her up. Here she is in 1999’s The Best Man:

 

 

You’re welcome.

Apparently, her boyfriend in the original Scary Movie liked what he saw in The Best Man. Hence, the scene below:

 

 

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Celebrity Big Brother is winding down, and it’s looking like evil hamster Miesha Tate might grab the cash prize. Here is Miesha in the house:

 

 

Just kidding. I imagine she was in someone’s house, but that’s not the Big Brother house.

As if it matters.

 

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I had watched about two-thirds of Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the new one) on Netflix when I wondered, for the umpteenth time, why filmmakers keep trying to remake classic movies by remaking classic movies.

The reason they are classics is because they are the opposite of what you’re trying to do. They were original. You are a photocopy machine.

 

**

 

 

If Bill Maher keeps shifting to the left, progressives are going to demand he change the name of his show to something more appropriate. Like, say, Politically Incorrect.

 

 

Alfred Hitchcock was right. Actors should be treated like cattle.

 

 

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Villain of the Month (for Americans)

 

This man-child:

 

 

Villain for the Ages (for Canadians)

 

This man-child:

 

 

Hero for the Ages (for everyone)

 

This guy (and friends):

 

The Truckers vs. The Establishment skirmish is ongoing as I write this, so lord knows what might happen. If nothing else, good-guy truckers are exposing all the would-be dictators both north and south of the U.S.-Canadian border.

 

Twitter will ban or suspend you if you “wish harm” on anyone liberals, like the man-child pictured twice above. I don’t have that censorship problem here. At least not yet.

Oh, if the Twitter censors could only read my mind and discover the “harmful” things I am wishing on the man-child ….

 

**

 

Cops

 

Sigh. Heavy sigh.

Listen, I think defunding the police is lunacy, and I’d like to support the men in blue. However … too many personnel in law enforcement — from beat cops to Feds at our spy agencies — are bending the knee to political dictators. You have to say “no” when you’re asked to do things that are clearly unconstitutional and/or illegal. You must become a whistle-blower.

 

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I had reservations about its potential “wokeness,” but I am digging Around the World in 80 Days, now playing on PBS.

When I learned that Phileas Fogg would be joined by a black Passepartout and a feminist journalist, my P.C. radar went off. But it’s fine. This is the way wokeness should be done. The series is not (very) preachy, and its occasional political correctness doesn’t detract from the story. At least not yet.

And that story is old-fashioned comfort food. The characters are amusing, the scenery is spectacular, and each episode ends the same way: Some pig-headed grouch has a change of heart and turns out to be a good egg after all.

 

**

 

It might be mean-spirited (or not), but I enjoyed seeing this young idiot do bellyflops at the Olympics:

 

 

 

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Forgive me if you’ve heard these rants before, but ….

 

 

The China Olympics

 

Our athletes should have boycotted. But they are selfish, more interested in their own careers.

And so the boycott is up to us. Let’s not watch any of it.

(Yeah, yeah, the chick pictured above is actually from Belarus, not the U.S., and she wasn’t referring to China, but her attitude is all-too-typical.)

 

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Over the past few years, whenever I thought of Canada (not often), I thought it was a country of wimps. Seemed like everything pretty boy Justin Trudeau and the lunatic left wanted, they got.

I don’t feel that way today. The heroic Canadian truckers are the best news since football stadiums erupted with chants of “Let’s go, Brandon!”

 

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I used to sneer whenever I heard some Middle Eastern country refer to the United States as “The Great Satan.” But the more we learn about how corrupt so many of our institutions are, well, it’s hard to argue against that sentiment.

Is there anyone in power in this country who isn’t controlled or cowed by either a) the far left or b) by China? Anyone?

So-called “conservatives” like Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham, many of our courts, and don’t get me started on corporations — all of them seem to be bought off. At least the lunatic left is relatively upfront about its goals. But the Republicans are worse, intimidated by the media and trying to hide their complicity in overthrowing democracy.

J.D. Vance said it best Friday night on Tucker Carlson’s show. Our “leaders” have disdain for the U.S. Constitution. They want to gut it and ignore everything in it.

 

**

 

The most recent example of corruption is GoFundMe, which apparently wants to take the money you sent to support the Canadian truckers and give it to a charity of its own choosing.

How is that not theft?

 

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The sovereignty of American states is of little concern to Our Leaders. Let’s keep on sneaking in hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens. In the middle of the night. And send them to your city. Because, why not?

On the other hand, it’s very nice that Our Leaders are concerned about the sovereignty of our good pals in Ukraine. Let’s go to war for the Ukrainians. Even if they don’t want us to.

 

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Celebrity Boobs (bad version): Aging ’60s Rock Stars

 

Oh, my. We’re not sure how Spotify will ever survive without these musical giants. In 2022, they are more popular than ever.

 

 

 

Seems like a win-win for everybody.

 

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Celebrity Boobs (good version): Jewel Shepard

 

 

Rip has been discussing good TV shows with Jewel Shepard. Jewel Who, you say?

You probably know her. Depends on what you like. Also, might depend on how old you are.

If you are a fan of cult movies, you might have seen her in the comic-horror flick The Return of the Living Dead (below).

 

 

Perhaps you watched Cinemax After Dark in the 1990s, in which case you might have seen her in Christina (below).

 

 

If you are a fan of obscure porn from the 1980s, you might have seen her in the poses and screen caps below. Here is a link to the (grainy) movie.

By the way, we’re not very good about warning visitors concerning content that is Not Safe for Work. So here you go: The content below is Not Safe for Work. (It’s the weekend. What the hell are you doing at work?)

 

 

Sadly, that is not Rip in the porn flick with Jewel. But she does have good taste in TV shows.

 

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He’s been on the side of the bad guys for years, and he often allows his hatred of Donald Trump to cloud his judgment, but Bill Maher is one of the few voices on the left who speaks out against progressive craziness.

 

Maher this week:

“I keep saying this to the Democratic Party. The reason why you’re so toxic is because you’ve become the party of no common sense. And people see this. It’s a constant drip, drip, drip of ‘Oh, these people are nuts.’”

 

And this:

“If my kid comes home from school and tells me, ‘They’re telling me I’m a racist. What does that word mean, Mommy?’ Is a kid, a young kid, old enough to process that? Or, you know, comes home and says, ‘I think I’m a girl now’ and the school says that — I think in California now, you have to go by that. If a child wants to change his name to a girl’s name, that stuff is right in your home. That’s at your kitchen table.”

 

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War With Russia

 

Sure, why not? Because we have no other problems to deal with, by all means let’s go to war. It will make lots of rich people richer and, if it turns into a ground war, it will eliminate a lot of those pesky Midwest farm boys who support Trump and join the military.

Another bonus: If we fight Russia, we’ll be fighting a bunch of white guys. That’s fine. Better than fighting, say, China, where we would be fighting guys who aren’t white. Can’t do that. That would be racist.

Another bonus: If we fight Russia, rich and powerful Americans — on the left and the right — can keep the money train coming from, well, China.

Win, win, win for (almost) everybody!

 

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Well, she’s on the right track. If she replaced the word “date” with “fuck,” she would probably have nailed it.

 

**

 

 

 

 

 

Two takeaways from this:

1)   As usual, the media displays absolutely no creativity or originality. One outlet comes up with a cutesy headline, and the rest of them jump on the bandwagon.

2)  I strongly disagree with conservative pundits who want to add to this headline by claiming that Joe Biden has had a no good, very bad first year, due to his “lack of achievements.”

Every day that thousands of illegal immigrants stream across the southern border, helping him achieve his goal of fundamentally changing the country, and every day that corporations continue to can workers who disobey his illegal vaccine “mandate,” Joe Biden is having a very good, wonderful day.

 

 

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I remember that, on January 6, 2021, when I first saw news reports about the mayhem in Washington, D.C, my initial reaction was: “Good for them!”

In the minds of certain people on the left, that sentiment makes me an “insurrectionist” and a traitor to the country.

But what I saw on Jan. 6 was hundreds of people who were quite the opposite of traitors; they were your aunt and uncle in sheep’s clothing, unleashing a primal scream. No black masks for them, like those worn by the cowardly punks who laid waste to big cities in 2020.

The January 6 mischief-makers were tired of years of being ignored by their elected “representatives,” who issued promises and then, once in office, joined Democrats in pursuing their primary goal: doing the bidding of rich donors.

And the Jan. 6 mob was sick to death of a media that helps the powerful — especially the powerful in Congress — ignore an ongoing invasion at our southern border. More important than illegal immigration, apparently, is that everyone learn how to use the term “Latinx.”

Heavy sigh.

It did not work out well for the insurrectionists, or rioters, or whatever you want to call them. Some of them now sit in jail.

Their problem isn’t (exclusively) the Democrats/Progressives; their problem is the Republican so-called representatives, who in a better world might have said: “We hear your frustration. We will do better. We will put regular people ahead of what the progressive agenda demands.”

The Jan. 6 folks in D.C. had the right target: Washington’s rich and powerful. The leftist rioters in the summer of 2020 had the wrong target: small-business owners. But the media prefers to ignore burned-out salons and gunned-down inner-city residents, and instead focus on something that, in its mind, is more dangerous than Pearl Harbor and the Holocaust.

I think January 6 should be celebrated, not condemned.

 

***

 

Happy New Year!

To celebrate, we have a new Tale From The Grouch. Check out “The Americans” by clicking here.

 

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I keep seeing stories about people expressing “good riddance” to 2021. I’m not sure why. As far as I can tell, 2022 will likely be awful.

I’m thinking things are going to get worse — possibly much, much worse — before they get better. We might even look back at 2021 with fondness.

 

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All signs are pointing to a big victory for Republicans in the 2022 elections.

I am going to make just a single prediction for the coming year. There is likely one issue — and only one — that could derail the anticipated “red wave.” That’s abortion.

Should the Supreme Court turn back the clock on that issue, millions of angry women could well erect a dam against that red wave.

 

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When you get to a certain age, New Year’s Day seems like the dumbest of holidays.

 

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TV Updates

 

 

I watched Vigil (above) on Peacock because it takes place on a submarine and I’m a sucker for shows that have that setting.

The first few episodes were fine, but then it grew silly.

 

 

I am watching The Silent Sea (above) on Netflix because it takes place at a research station on the moon and I’m a sucker for shows that have that setting.

The first episodes were fine, but now it’s grown boring.

 

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Betty White, John Madden, and Harry Reid all died last week.

Two of the three were very popular and will be greatly missed.

Let that be a lesson to modern-day politicians.

 

**

 

Speaking of Betty White, I don’t see any mention in her obituaries about her beginnings as a nude model.

Let that be a career lesson to young ladies who aspire to be America’s next “national treasure.”

 

 

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(Click on thumbnails for a larger view)

 

 

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Simply, Having, a Hard-on at Christmas Time

 

Maybe the holidays are to blame, but of late my teenage alter egos keep popping up.

Also, there is something about this time of year that makes me horny. More about that in a bit.

 

My inner-teenage-girl, who is usually quite nice, came out to play the other day, as she is wont to do, and so we watched Love Hard (pictured above), a rom-com about an L.A. writer who gets catfished and flies to the East Coast to meet her new “crush.”

Although the story was predictable, the characters were familiar, and at times the movie was, well, stupid, my inner-teenage-girl and I rather enjoyed it.

The story was good-hearted, the actors were appealing, and it was a bit smarter than most movies of its ilk (except for the stupid parts).

 

Shortly after the movie ended, my inner-teenage-boy, who is often quite naughty, came out to play and demanded to know more about the actress who plays “Chelsea,” the buxom, ditzy girlfriend of the protagonist’s brother.

The actress, we learned, is named Mikaela Hoover. Sure enough, she is yet another Hollywood starlet whose nude photos were “leaked” online.

So here you go:

 

 

Saints preserve me, but my inner-teenage-girl got me again. This time she insisted we watch In the Dark (below) a mystery/rom-com aimed at young girls (I presume) that originally aired on The CW and is now on Netflix.

 

 

The show is non-challenging, teen-girl comfort food for the soul. Its snarky, blind heroine investigates murders and annoys her pals. My outer grouchy-old-man could do without the jokes about strap-on sex toys and menstruation, but sometimes it’s a nice change to watch something pleasant with likeable characters. Something old-fashioned.

My inner-teenage-boy wanted to see In the Dark’s actresses nude, but, alas and alack, a Google search gave us a lump of coal.

 

**

 

Speaking of the holidays and my inner (horny) teenage boy … he and I happened to see this blond girl in ads for a Web site:

 

 

Among other things, the girl in this ad made me feel nostalgic. 

When I was a lustful lad of 14 or so, I recall, one winter eve around Christmas time, the family was gathered in the living room near a cozy fire. A female relative (I won’t say which one), a few years older than me, entered the room, saw the family dog, and sprawled out on the floor to play with it. She was wearing an oversize T-shirt and not much else — just a pair of somewhat see-thru panties.

I, too, happened to be on the floor, and was fortuitously positioned behind this girl as she rubbed the dog’s belly. My view was … provoking. It looked very much like this:

 

 

Or like this (minus the dude):

 

 

The girl in the Craigslist ads has the same body type — even similar facial features — as my female relative. The picture below is old and just blurry enough that I think I can safely post it without revealing the relative’s identity, but here she is at the beach:

 

 

I submit this: Put yourself in my 14-year-old shoes. Kin or not, if this piece of ass offered you a spread-legged, rear-view crotch shot on the living-room floor, wouldn’t you take notice? I don’t recall if my horny-teen self was wearing pajamas. If so, I must have quietly sneaked out of the room, lest anyone see my newly acquired tentpole.

Santa would have known instantly if my thoughts were naughty or nice.

 

**

 

I wonder how many Karen Whites there are in this country. Must be tough to be a Karen White these days.

 

**

 

 

Quote of the Week

 

“I have to go back into the dating pool, and I’m pretty sure there’s pee in it.”90 Day: The Single Life’s Stephanie Matto (above).

 

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