Daily Archives: May 15, 2010

 .        Sex City

 

Hold on to your Halstons, Sex and the City fever is upon us.  Again.

This got me to thinking about other male-female cultural disconnects.  Like Oprah Winfrey.

This disconnect serves our country well.  After all, if men were in charge of all voting, Pamela Anderson might be president.  But men also know, instinctively, that a woman like Winfrey is not to be trusted.  She loves her power too much, and we can picture her behind the curtain, being fed grapes and whipping her interns.

No, it’s good that men prevent Winfrey from becoming president.  And it’s good that not just women vote, or we might have a President Richard Simmons.  Although Simmons might be able to solve our obesity epidemic.

 

Anderson     Simmons

 

Speaking of gays in the spotlight … Newsweek columnist Ramin Setoodeh, who is homosexual, is feeling the heat of a ferocious backlash for daring to write about how gay actors have a tough time playing straight roles.  Entertainment Weekly columnist Mark Harris sniffed, “We may not be past this kind of thinking yet.”

OK, P.C. Harris, let me ask you this:  Would you pay good money to watch Richard Simmons, as Romeo, attempting to seduce Pamela Anderson, as Juliet?  You doth protest too much.

 

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Daybreakers

 

Daybreakers is a vampire movie with a social conscience.  It’s a horror film that doesn’t settle for violence and gore; it also wants to make you think.  And that’s what’s wrong with the blasted thing.

As the movie unfolded and began to bombard me with allusions to 1) class warfare, 2) immigration, 3) vegetarianism, 4) capitalism, 5) conservation, and  6) the kitchen sink, I could picture the directors (two brothers again; what is it with all these sibling directors — do studio heads now demand them?) planning their DVD commentary.  No simple discussion of wooden stakes and garlic for the Spierig brothers.  Nope, they would discuss social issues!  That’s an admirable goal for a movie with just one hitch — a vampire film first and foremost needs to be scary.  If you get that part right, then you can discuss serious stuff on the DVD. 

(Confession:  I haven’t seen the DVD.  Perhaps there isn’t any commentary, but you get my point.)

I also kept thinking of another vampire movie I recently watched, called 30 Days of Night.  That film worked because it had a very simple plot.  A horde of scary-looking bloodsuckers descends on an Alaskan village and does battle with the townspeople.  That’s pretty much it.  Danny Huston plays a truly terrifying vampire, and not once as I watched him was I reminded of conservation.  Or immigration.

I’d go into the plot details of this film, but if you’ve seen I Am Legend, you pretty much get the idea.  A terrible virus or plague or something mutates most humans into blah, blah, blah.  Daybreakers, by trying to make big statements, is instead a pretentious little bore.          Grade:  C-

 

Directors:  Michael Spierig, Peter Spierig  Cast:  Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Michael Dorman, Claudia Karvan, Sam Neill  Release:  2010 

 

Daybreakers2     Watch Trailers & Clips  (click here)

 

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