The Weekly Review: April 19 – 25

 

Horrors to Come:

 

In my experience, little kids aren’t real big on following rules and regulations. So what happens when parents bring their rugrats to the store – are the little darlings going to observe social distancing? Will we have to leash them to their parents?

Israeli Defense Minister Naftali Benett had this to say on the subject:

 

 

Here’s the thing: I’m a geezer myself, but it makes more sense, to me, to quarantine old farts like myself rather than 250 million (relatively) healthy young people.

 

**

 

What no one seems to be talking about:

They don’t yet know if your pets can give you the virus. It’s possible that they can.

This does not bode well for the future of Fido.

 

**

 

So, you’re going back to work. Lucky you.

You work in an office or a warehouse or wherever, and about half of your co-workers take the virus very seriously, but the other half think the country is overreacting.

Many of your co-workers ignore social-distancing protocol because they think it’s silly and, just like in pre-pandemic days, they like to get right in your face.

Now what?

 

**

 

 

“Breakfast, as usual, is more essential than ever.” — Steve Cahillane (above)

 

I’m a bit repulsed by cereal companies or auto dealers trying to piggyback on the reputation of first-responders and other essential workers. I’m sorry, Kellogg’s honcho Steve Cahillane, but your fucking breakfast cereal is not “essential,” breakfast itself is not essential, and you are not essential.

And stop implying that nurses and EMTs are on your payroll.

 

**

 

1.  Exposure to heat and sunlight might quash the deadly coronavirus.

2.  Cigarette smoking might protect you from complications engendered by the virus.

So … everything that battles the damn virus will also give you cancer.

 

**

 

Killing Time in Self Isolation

 

Gran Torino

 

Like many of you, I’ve been watching a lot of TV. I rewatched The Hunt for Red October and Gran Torino. Both movies are dominated by the charisma of their stars, Sean Connery and Clint Eastwood, respectively.

We don’t have movie stars like Connery and Eastwood anymore.

 

**

 

I’ve also been watching a lot of YouTube. Judging by the number of views they get, the big stars on YouTube are often cute girls with vapid personalities. Sure, they are fun to look at, but you also have to listen to them, which often involves much whining and complaining. Pictured below is a typical YouTube star, a chronic complainer named Taylor Skeens.

 

 

Taylor is unhappy with her new apartment. Taylor has ex-boyfriend issues. But you put up with her carping because Taylor has a fine ass:

 

 

Clint and Sean have done lots of promotional work for their movies, but never anything quite like that.

 

**

 

I would be upset about Chris Cuomo and CNN faking Cuomo’s “quarantine,” but I stopped watching CNN a long time ago.

 

**

 

Like you, I have been wondering how this lockdown might affect our nation’s strip clubs:

 

 

**

 

Sorry (not sorry), but I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I enjoy some of the news reports about people getting shamed – or even arrested – for violating social-distance rules.

Now at least some people understand what it’s like to be a smoker who gets busted for having the temerity to light up in a “no smoking” area.

 

**

 

Trump’s Lies vs. Media Lies

 

Trump frequently lies. For example, he was clearly not being “sarcastic” with his comment the other day about injections.

The media also frequently lies. For example, contrary to what was reported, Trump did not advise anyone to inject anything; he was posing a question.

But the media deservedly catches more flak for its lies. Why is that?

Presidents are judged on their words and their actions. The media’s stock-in-trade is words and words only. So if people approve of Trump’s actions, he gets a pass on his words. But the media? No way, Jose.

 

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