Monthly Archives: June 2015

Three

 

Three Grouch Gripes:

 

1)  Obama had a pretty good week.  Too bad he couldn’t leave well enough alone when he decided to blurt out an off-key, fingernails-on-the-blackboard rendition of “Amazing Grace.”

 

2)  Gay marriage?  As far as I’m concerned, it just allows for more discrimination against … single Americans. Government needs to get out of the marriage business, period.

 

3)  Big Brother is off and running on CBS and, as usual, self-esteem is not an issue for any of the narcissistic houseguests.

 

President Barack Obama sings "Amazing Grace" during services honoring the life of Rev. Clementa Pinckney, Friday, June 26, 2015, at the College of Charleston TD Arena in Charleston, S.C.. Pinckney was one of the nine people killed in the shooting at Emanuel AME Church last week in Charleston. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

 

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SPB

 

*****

 

Netflix

 

I’m beginning to wonder if Netflix has lost its Midas touch. It’s been a long time since it premiered a series like House of Cards or Orange Is the New Black. Lately, the streaming service is cranking out mediocrities like Marco Polo, Grace and Frankie, Between, and Sense8. And spare me any praise for Daredevil. It’s another comic-book show, and the glut of comic-book shows and movies is nauseating.

 

*****

 

Funny But Cruel:

 

Funny

 

— Reader reaction to Mindy Kaling’s revelation that, contrary to what they usually say, Hollywood stars actually enjoy filming sex scenes.

 

*****

 

“Comic” Bit That Needs To Go:

 

Jimmy Fallon’s “slow jam,” which is moronic and annoying. Politicians, like pro athletes, are rarely funny when they try to be funny. They are only funny when it’s unintentional.

 

Jam

 

Phrase That Needs To Go:

 

“Right out of a movie.” – CNN’s Poppy Harlow resorting to journalism’s favorite cliché while reporting on the dramatic escape of two New York prison inmates.

 

*****

 

The Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant was another rousing success. We are trying to track down contestant Rip van Dinkle, far right in the picture at the top of this page, to ask him what it was like to wake up Sunday morning and see pictures of his penis on The Village Voice, Gothamist, and Time Out New York.

 

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Sick2

 

Sick

 

We are under the weather, curled up in the fetal position and leaking noxious bodily fluids. So please excuse our absence this week and enjoy this picture of our favorite goat:

 

Goat

 

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Hot Girls Wanted

Hot Girls

 

A common question put to guys who watch porn (or who frequent hookers) is, “What if the girl was your sister?” The documentary Hot Girls Wanted, by focusing on a handful of girls not long out of high school and fresh into porn, does a great job answering that question: Life is not pretty for a young porn actress, and it’s often downright depressing.  Even more depressing: the fact that millions upon millions of us ensure there’s always a supply of new girls to meet our voracious demand.  Release:  2015   Grade:  A

 

 *****

 

Whiplash

Whiplash

 

Oscar-winner J.K. Simmons joins the Hollywood brotherhood of drill sergeants, coaches, and other molders of young men who employ “tough love” – or abuse, depending on your perspective – to drum success into their protégés in this absorbing drama about the world of competitive jazz bands.   But when the story shifts from the battle of wills between instructor Simmons and student Miles Teller, it stumbles over weak subplots involving the boy’s girlfriend and his father.  Release: 2014 Grade: B+

 

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