Road1

 

There are roving bands of cannibals in The Road, the movie based on Cormac McCarthy’s post-apocalyptic novel.  These people-eaters, who look like ordinary humans, are truly terrifying, and in the hands of a lesser director the audience would know exactly what to expect from the film:  Night of the Living Dead, Part 12.

But the filmmakers have taken their cue from McCarthy’s book:  Less is more.  Our heroes, a man and his young son, rarely have direct confrontations with the cannibals.  Instead, the film focuses on what the flesh-eaters leave behind — in a house, or in the woods — and the sense of dread this imparts is palpable.

Also effective is the relationship between father and son.  The viewer doesn’t know whom to pity more, the man, who has lived, loved, and lost almost everything, or his boy, who has never seen a live animal or experienced a treat as simple as a can of Coke.

The Road has been criticized for being relentlessly grim, and it is that.  But when it’s the end of the world, and even the ocean is dead, what would you expect, sunshine and lollipops?       Grade:  B+

 

Director:  John Hillcoat  Cast:  Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Robert Duvall, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce, Molly Parker  Release:  2009

 

Road2

 

Road3   Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

 

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Body Double

 

Director Brian De Palma was probably the most blatant imitator of Alfred Hitchcock’s film technique, but De Palma’s movies (including Carrie and The Untouchables) have their own, distinctive merits.  Check out this stylish thriller from 1984, starring Craig Wasson, Melanie Griffith, and Deborah Shelton.  Watch it free by clicking here.

 

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Apartment1

 

I interviewed actress Beverly Garland one day back in the 1980s.  Garland was best known for playing Barbara Douglas, second wife of Fred MacMurray’s character on the 1960s sitcom My Three Sons.  Garland was reminiscing about the show when I asked her what it was like working with MacMurray.  She hesitated, her tone changed, and she said something noncommittal about MacMurray’s not being on the set very much.  While the other cast members were working, she said, MacMurray was usually off playing golf, or vacationing in Europe. Apparently, the veteran actor’s contract stipulated that he receive a 10-week hiatus every year – right in the middle of the TV show’s shooting schedule.  This arrangement did not sit well with some of MacMurray’s co-stars.

I think about Garland’s comments whenever I watch The Apartment, director Billy Wilder’s classic comedy-drama about a corporate nobody (Jack Lemmon) who lends his apartment to bosses for their adulterous trysts. MacMurray — forever identified with good guy Steve Douglas on My Three Sons — plays one of filmdom’s most memorable heels, the arrogant Mr. Sheldrake.  I wonder, was Fred MacMurray, nicknamed “the thrifty multimillionaire” by some colleagues, typecast in the role?

MacMurray’s slimeball executive is pivotal to The Apartment, but the film really belongs to Wilder, Lemmon, and Shirley MacLaine.  All three pull off the trickiest job in cinema:  juggling comedy and pathos and doing it right.

Although it opened to mixed reviews in 1960, the movie is now considered one of Wilder’s best.  The crusty Austrian-American filmmaker described The Apartment’s main theme as corruption of The American Dream.  That’s a depressing thought.  Sort of like finding out that Steve Douglas wasn’t such a great guy, after all.         Grade:  A

Director:  Billy Wilder  Cast:  Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine, Fred MacMurray, Edie Adams, Ray Walston, Jack Kruschen  Release:  1960

 

Apartment3    Apartment2

                                           Watch the Trailer  (click here)

 

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Messenger1

 

The Messenger belongs to a long line of Hollywood movies about American servicemen returning home from war.  These films include The Best Years of Our Lives (World War II), The Deer Hunter (Vietnam) and, more recently, Brothers (Iraq).  Unfortunately, The Messenger doesn’t pack the emotional punch of those other dramas.

Director Oren Moverman’s movie does have powerful moments, but most of them involve secondary characters.  When U.S. Army Captain Tony Stone (Woody Harrelson) and Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery (Ben Foster) deliver the news of Iraq casualties to stunned family members, you have to be a cold customer, indeed, not to feel their pain.  But The Messenger’s main storyline, depicting Montgomery’s torturous adaptation to life back in America, doesn’t resonate as well.

Montgomery engages in a tentative romance with a war widow played by Samantha Morton.  This bit of casting is inspired because Morton does not have typical “movie star” looks, and that affords her credibility as a blue-collar, struggling single mother.  But this tender interlude between two scarred people leads nowhere until much too late in the film.

The main problem with The Messenger is the character of Montgomery, either as written or as performed.  Foster conveys anger and intensity well, but he lacks a certain softness, some humanity with which we can identify.  He’s not as vulnerable as Dana Andrews was in The Best Years of Our Lives, nor as accessible as Robert De Niro in The Deer Hunter.  Sgt. Montgomery’s emotional state might appear realistic to actual war veterans, but in a movie that seeks to send a strong message, it’s the wrong note.           Grade:  B

 

Director:  Oren Moverman  Cast:  Ben Foster, Woody Harrelson, Samantha Morton, Jena Malone, Steve Buscemi, Lisa Joyce  Release:  2009

 

Messenger2  Messenger3

                                Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

 

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 Things I Care About … But Dear God, Why?

 

Lohan

 

Lindsay Lohan — She doesn’t know me.  I don’t know her.  So why do I look up whenever I hear some fool mention her name on the television?  Ditto for Paris, Kim, et al.

Pro athletes — Pro sports franchises make billions by selling fans on the notion of team “loyalty.”  But that loyalty is always a one-way street.  If you’re a pro baseball player, for example, your loyalty is to the Yankees, because the Yankees pay the most money.

National politics — Most things that truly affect me happen on the local level:  speed limits, property taxes, etc.  Yet when it comes to political news, I spend most of my time watching blowhards on Fox or CNN debating our North Korea policy or some heated Senate battle in Nebraska.  I don’t know any North Koreans.  I don’t know any Nebraskans.

 

Gang

 

Things I Don’t Care About … But Probably Should:

 

My neighbors — I don’t even know their names.

Your snot-nosed kids — They’re your kids, not mine.  They should be your problem, not mine.  But not too long from now, your kids will either 1) pay for my Social Security, or 2) join street gangs and terrorize my neighborhood.

 

Things I Don’t Care About … But the Media Insists I Should:

 

Natural disasters in California —  I get it already.  You have mudslides, drought, and minor earthquakes.  I don’t care.

Airplane crashes — I guess the people who die in (rare) airplane crashes are more important than the people who die in (frequent) car crashes.

 

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Calig1

 

Thirty minutes into the notorious art-porn movie Caligula, distinguished actor John Gielgud plays a suicide scene.  As Gielgud fades away, he turns to fellow thespians Peter O’Toole and Malcolm McDowell and declares, “From evils past and evils yet to come, I now choose to escape.”

It’s a tough call whether the old actor was referring to ancient Rome or to the daily rushes he might have been privy to on the set of Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione’s chronicle of the depraved Roman emperor, Caligula.  Guccione had a point to make with Caligula, and his message came through loud and clear:  People can be pigs. The only question is whether the pigs were in Rome A.D. 40, or behind the cameras on a soundstage in 1979.

Nothing is implied in this movie, not when grotesque and graphic footage can be used.  Why hint that some poor slave has been castrated, when the actual snipping and gushing can be filmed in living color?  Why suggest sex is afoot when it can be shown in gynecological detail?  If there’s a bodily fluid or secretion with which you are unfamiliar, it’s all here for your edification.

It’s easy, maybe too easy, to trash a film like Caligula, particularly when so many people involved in it have distanced themselves from the production (along with Gielgud, O’Toole, and McDowell, astute viewers will spot young Helen Mirren).  You could argue that this kind of depravity exists in human nature and we all need reminders lest we fall from grace.  Look what happened, you could point out, when the survivors of Auschwitz and Treblinka began to die off — a lot of people went into denial about the reality of the Holocaust.

But there is a point where you say, “OK.  I get it.  Enough is enough.”  Guccione assembled big stars, a renowned writer (Gore Vidal), expensive and admittedly gorgeous sets (the budget was $22 million – a fortune in 1979).  All that talent, and yet Guccione’s “lesson” is no different from what I learned in kindergarten as I watched kids torment other kids:  People can be pigs.          Grade:  D+

 

Calig2

 

Director:  Tinto Brass  Cast:  Malcolm McDowell, Teresa Ann Savoy, John Gielgud, Peter O’Toole, Helen Mirren, Adriana Asti, Mirella D’Angelo, Guido Mannari  Release:  1979

 

Calig3    Calig4

 

Calig5      Watch the Trailer  (click here)

 

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Exit

 

Is Exit Through the Gift Shop an elaborate hoax?  Is this “documentary” about street artists good enough to warrant excited speculation about its authenticity among the nation’s film critics?

The answer to the first question is … probably not.  The answer to the second question is … probably not.  For those who have not heard the movie’s backstory, it goes something like this:  Earlier this decade, a French immigrant to L.A. named Thierry Guetta turned his obsession with photographing everything into a more-specialized activity:  filming street artists at work.  Guetta was introduced to the mysterious “Banksy,” a British legend in the world of illegal street art.  In a neat twist, Banksy became the filmmaker and Guetta the artist, resulting in an art-world frenzy for Guetta’s work and this acclaimed documentary for Banksy.

At one point, street artist Shepard Fairey (who is not a fabrication) wonders aloud whether Guetta’s artistic pretensions are simply a con.  The enigmatic Banksy questions Guetta’s mental health.  And since the film’s release, the nation’s film critics are questioning their own grasp of reality — is this film a prank?  Did events really transpire the way we are led to believe in Exit Through the Gift Shop?

The movie is amusing — that’s all.  I did not leave the theater pondering any Big Questions:  What is art?  Is it in the eye of the beholder?  Has art become too commercialized?  No, I left the theater pondering the merits of the movie itself, which to me was mildly entertaining.  No more, no less.        Grade:  B

 

Exit2      Exit3

 

Director:  Banksy  Featuring:  Thierry Guetta, Banksy, Shepard Fairey, Rhys Ifans (narrator)  Release:  2010

 

Exit4     Watch Trailers  (click here)
   

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Steps

 

Just like the rest of us, Alfred Hitchcock was into self-improvement.  When Hitchcock directed his masterful North by Northwest in 1959, he was actually just adding polish to a film he’d already made in England in 1935 — The 39 Steps.  If you watch both movies, you will notice the similarities:  wrongfully accused man on the run, cool blonde at his side, action sequences tinged with humor, etc.  Watch Robert Donat (Cary Grant) and Madeleine Carroll (Eva Marie Saint) for free by clicking here. 

 

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Good

 

If there were any justice in the world, we’d all be learning a hot new catchphrase that would join movie chestnuts like “I’ll be back,” and “Make my day.”  And that catchphrase would be … “Close your eyes, kids!”

That line is senseless to the uninitiated, but I’m guessing it’s instantly recognizable to anyone who’s seen The Good, the Bad, the Weird, a Western joyride out of South Korea.  Yes, I said South Korea.  Director Ji-woon Kim’s film is a love letter to the Spaghetti Western that is both respectful and delightfully silly.

The story is about a whole bunch of bad guys trying to lay their hands on a treasure map in 1930s Manchuria. That’s pretty much all you need to know about the plot.  Here is what else you should know:  The movie is inventively shot, gorgeous to look at, and blessed with great performances.  “The Bad” (Byung-hun Lee) is a vain mercenary who struts about like Prince with bloodlust; “The Good” (Woo-sung Jung) is Korea’s answer to Clint Eastwood, and he’s featured in not one but two breathtaking action sequences that manage to reinvigorate that tired Western staple, the shoot-‘em-up; “The Weird” (Kang-ho Song) is on hand primarily for comic relief — and to utter the immortal “close your eyes” line.

Although the film is a bit on the long side (130 minutes), The Good, the Bad, the Weird is a screwball Western for people who think they burned out on Westerns a long time ago.      Grade:  B+

 

Good2       The Good

 

The Bad       Good3

 

Good4       The Weird

 

Director:  Ji-woon Kim  Cast:  Kang-ho Song, Byung-hun Lee, Woo-sung Jung  Release:  2010

Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

 

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 .        Sex City

 

Hold on to your Halstons, Sex and the City fever is upon us.  Again.

This got me to thinking about other male-female cultural disconnects.  Like Oprah Winfrey.

This disconnect serves our country well.  After all, if men were in charge of all voting, Pamela Anderson might be president.  But men also know, instinctively, that a woman like Winfrey is not to be trusted.  She loves her power too much, and we can picture her behind the curtain, being fed grapes and whipping her interns.

No, it’s good that men prevent Winfrey from becoming president.  And it’s good that not just women vote, or we might have a President Richard Simmons.  Although Simmons might be able to solve our obesity epidemic.

 

Anderson     Simmons

 

Speaking of gays in the spotlight … Newsweek columnist Ramin Setoodeh, who is homosexual, is feeling the heat of a ferocious backlash for daring to write about how gay actors have a tough time playing straight roles.  Entertainment Weekly columnist Mark Harris sniffed, “We may not be past this kind of thinking yet.”

OK, P.C. Harris, let me ask you this:  Would you pay good money to watch Richard Simmons, as Romeo, attempting to seduce Pamela Anderson, as Juliet?  You doth protest too much.

 

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