Shift1

 

Thirty years ago, Warner Bros. released a low-budget comedy called Night Shift and, if you’d asked me at the time, I would have predicted big things for the movie’s youthful director and stars.  Ron Howard, better known as “Richie Cunningham” back then, displayed a light directorial touch with his second theatrical film.  Howard cast his Happy Days co-star, Henry Winkler, against type as Night Shift’s milquetoast hero.  Rounding out the cast were Shelley Long, who seemed ready to assume Goldie Hawn’s crown as cinema’s queen of quirk – and a new kid named Michael Keaton.

My prediction would have been spot-on for Howard, now one of Hollywood’s power directors.  But Keaton’s star has faded, Winkler is now making commercials for reverse mortgages, and Long appears in obscure TV movies.  Fickle place, Hollywood.

  Shift2

 

But Night Shift was first and foremost a coming out party for Keaton, who shines as Billy “Blaze,” a gangly, energetic hustler with a cockamamie, irresistibly infectious act.

Howard and his actors took what could have been unsavory material (prostitution) and whipped up a warmhearted romp.  The story, in which Winkler, Keaton, and Long team up to run an escort service out of a city morgue, captures early ‘80s New York City in all its sleaze (a Plato’s Retreat-inspired sequence) and glory (a series of hilarious running gags featuring eccentric Gothamites).  It also boasts catchy ‘80s music courtesy of Burt Bacharach, Carole Bayer Sager, and Rod Stewart.

I still think this is Howard’s best movie – but Keaton steals the show.  Is this a great country, or what?      Grade:  A-

 

Shift3 Shift4

Shift5 Shift6

 

Director:  Ron Howard   Cast:  Henry Winkler, Michael Keaton, Shelley Long, Gina Hecht, Pat Corley, Nita Talbot, Bobby Di Cicco, K.C. Winkler, Monique Gabrielle  Release: 1982

 

                                                Shift7   Shift8                                

 

      Watch the Trailer  (click here)

 

Shift9

 

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Balloons

 

Balloon Week!

 

Fox Balloons!

 

Hasselbeck2

 

“Look how happy those girls are in their balloons!” — some idiot on Fox & Friends, watching Elisabeth Hasselbeck, above right, race in a giant ball.

 

British Balloons!

 

Capture

 

Clown

 

Miley Balloons!

 

Miley1 Miley2

 

Hey … it was a slow news week.

 

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                           The Collection

 Collect1 Collect2

 

I’m tempted to slap The Collection with an “F” for its bare-bones plot and ridiculously excessive gore.  However … if you are into splatter flicks — I generally am not — this sequel to The Collector is better than most of its gore-horror brethren thanks to a decent budget and some slick, fast-paced direction.  Release:  2012  Grade:  B-

 

                                         *****

 

               All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

Mandy1 Mandy2

 

The camera certainly loves Amber Heard, who plays one of six teens who (yawn) encounter trouble at an isolated ranch.  Director Jonathan Levine also seems to love stilted dialogue, “scares” that don’t scare, and a twist that any horror-film fan can see coming from a mile away.  This mediocrity was filmed in 2006 but sat on a shelf for seven years, awaiting distribution.  Too bad it’s not still sitting there.  Release:  2013  Grade:  D+

 

                                         *****

 

                             World War Z

WarZ1 WarZ2

 

Here’s proof that you can have an astronomical budget and Brad Pitt for a leading man … and still produce just another silly zombie movie.  Brad plays a perfect family man (of course) who saves the world (naturally) while fighting off hordes of the undead.  The zombies are not particularly original, but they do look cool in some overhead CGI shots.  Release:  2013  Grade:  C-

 

                                         *****

 

                              End of Watch

Watch1 Watch2

 

If you’re not a big fan of police, End of Watch could change your mind — at least for a couple of hours, thanks to the chemistry between Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Pena as two patrolmen in South Central L.A.  There isn’t a great deal of story, but it’s refreshing to watch a crime drama in which the cops are neither bad to the bone nor avenging super studs.  Release:  2012  Grade:  B+

 

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Space

 

“In space … apparently you can hear all kinds of weird shit.”

 

*****

 

War Drums Update

 

Irritating phrase of the week:  “trust, but verify”

Irritating word of the week: “degrading”

If you trust in something (or someone), there is no need to verify.  If you bomb somebody (or something), it is not “degrading.”  Degrading is what happens to the nerd in high school who gets his pants pulled down in the cafeteria.

 

*****

 

Newt Gingrich Holds Primary Night Gathering In Birmingham, Alabama

 

CNN’s Crossfire:  I can’t bring myself to watch it, because it features Newt Gingrich with his fat, smarmy persona and castrato voice.  Did I mention that I don’t care for Newt Gingrich?

 

*****

 

Capture

2

 

*****

 

Story2

 

Whatever your feelings about the show itself, is there another program that does cooler trailers than American Horror Story?

 

Story1

                                            

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Zimmermans

 

Capture2

 

Just when you think it’s a waste of time to seek your soul mate on Internet dating sites, this sexy, highly desirable couple breaks up, adding more goodness to the dating pool.

 

*****

 

 

I don’t know a thing about these striking Mexican teachers and their issues, but I do know that, of all professions, there is no group that I associate more with the word “whining” than teachers.

 

*****

 

Kapp1

 

“No one had done that in 44 years.” — CBS’ Scott Pelley, praising Peyton Manning’s record-tying seven touchdown passes in the NFL opener.

Pelley did not mention the name of the quarterback who last accomplished the feat — poor Joe Kapp.  The last time we heard from old Joe was in 2011 when the 73-year-old former Viking was videotaped brawling onstage with 74-year-old Angelo Mosca.  Jostling Joe is at left in the pictures.

I dunno, I think the old-fart fisticuffs might be more impressive than seven touchdowns.

 

Kapp2    Kapp3

Kapp4    Kapp5

 

*****

 

Capture

Sept1e

 

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by Charles Todd

Wills

 

A test of patience for whodunit fans, as a Scotland Yard inspector conducts a monotonous series of interrogations with small-town murder suspects.  “Charles Todd” (the nom de plume for a mother and son writing team) has also invested the inspector’s conscience with an annoying presence the voice of “Hamish,” a Scottish soldier whom our hero sentenced to death during World War I.  I will say this for the authors:  Their “big reveal” at novel’s end is not a bore; rushed, overwrought, and utterly ridiculous, certainly, but not a bore.

 

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2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Show

 

Damn, I’m old.  I had to look up “twerking.”  But I’m still not sure.  Is Miley Cyrus twerking in the picture above?  Or is that spelunking?

 

*****

 

Capture

 

Makes sense to me.  I don’t think that humans, at least, belong on this planet, and the evidence for this is overwhelming:  1.  Unless you live in Hawaii, there is practically no place on Earth with a comfortable climate; you either need to strip down to escape the heat, or bundle up to ward off the cold.   Of all life forms on Earth, only humans have this need for artificial clothing.  2.  Everything we like to ingest — chocolate, alcohol, tobacco, heroin, Miley Cyrus — is bad for us.  Everything good for us — water, green vegetables, PBS — is a crashing bore.  Things had to be better on the red planet.

 

*****

 

Just listened to Obama’s speech.  Apparently, there will be no new war in the Middle East this week.  Be sure to check in again next week. …

 

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Arianna

 

Jerk of the Week:  Arianna Huffington

The media queen plans to ban anonymous comments from The Huffington Post, apparently because her cocktail-party pals have had their feelings hurt.  Better to stifle honest discourse than to offend the high and mighty, right Arianna?

 

*****

 

Cassidy1

Cassidy              Stalker

Lopez

 

It’s been a tough month for former teen idol David Cassidy.  First, busted for squatting at J.Lo’s house, and then nailed for DUI.  Sorry, dude, but that wig doesn’t fool us.

 

*****

 

Olivia Colman, David Tennant, "Broadchurch"

 

Broadchurch:  As we’ve come to expect from British television, this is a smart and entertaining whodunit.  My problem is with the lead detective (David Tennant, above with Olivia Colman).  Either as written or performed by Tennant, I’m not sure which, this guy is so relentlessly sour and unpleasant that I find myself sympathizing with anyone he encounters — including all of the murder suspects.

 

*****

 

Quote of the Week:

“I just thought there was no way they could find people this awful in the world.  But they did.” — houseguest Elissa, describing her initial impression of fellow cast members on Big Brother

 

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                                                  by Randy Wayne White                                                              

Sanibel

 

Stop me if any of this sounds familiar:  A rugged loner with a mysterious past lives on the Florida coast, interrupting his sojourn with nature (and beer) just long enough to seduce every woman in sight and to do battle with megalomaniacal bad guys, in this case a militaristic pedophile from Central America.  White’s plot and characters don’t carry a gram of originality, but I suppose that when you buy one of his books, just as when you buy anything by Lee Child, you know what you want and you want what you know.

 

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Slowball

 

Baseball’s Bold Move

Major League Baseball announced that it will add more instant-replay challenges to games, beginning next year.  Great idea.  Complaints have been rampant about the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, rapid pace of baseball, so anything that slows down the game has got to be a good thing.

 

*****

 

Starr

 

I keep seeing Barbara Starr doing special reports for CNN.  Someone at that network obviously needs to be chastened, because this is not in keeping with standard cable-news practice of featuring nothing but Hooters-girl journalism.

 

*****

 

God help me, I am a sucker for hidden-camera shows, no matter if they are real, or obviously staged.  TruTV’s (Impractical) Jokers is the epitome of stupid-funny, and I love it.

 

*****

 

51

 

I’m going to stop making fun of “conspiracy nuts.”  Area 51, NSA spying, black boxes in our cars, ad infinitum.  The government, led by Professor Obama, is much too fond of keeping secrets … and Jesse Ventura is looking less crazy to me every day.

 

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