The Grouchy Editor

Robot & Frank 

.       

 

Sometimes silly but always engaging, Robot & Frank is a showcase for 74-year-old Frank Langella.  Langella plays a grumpy, unreformed burglar whose adult son comes up with an antidote for dad’s failing memory:  a caregiver robot.  The movie is ostensibly science fiction, but its theme is human memory — and the loss of it.  What makes Robot stumble is its desire to add thrills to the mix, including a lame heist sequence.  Release:  2012  Grade:  B

 

*****

 

The Conjuring

.       

 

One day, someone will give director James Wan a quality script and he might produce a horror classic.  Wan, who gave us Insidious and now this film, is a master at staging and framing shots for maximum shock value — the first half of Conjuring boasts some of the scariest scenes I’ve watched in ages.  Unfortunately, once a pair of demonologists (Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson) show up to clear a family’s house of evil spirits, the screenplay devolves into clumsy dialogue and rip-offs of better films like The Exorcist and Poltergeist.  Still … those first 45 minutes are chilling.  Release:  2013  Grade:  B+

 

*****

 

Oldboy

.       

 

A man wakes up in a hotel room with no clue how he got there and no idea that he will be imprisoned there for the next 15 years — and that’s just the beginning of his ordeal.  Korean director Park Chan-wook’s trippy revenge-mystery doesn’t always make sense, and it’s a tad too long, but it’s hard to take your eyes off the screen.  And a twist near the end is a real whopper.  Release:  2003  Grade:  B+

 

*****

 

Absentia

.       

 

Straight-to-video horror movies often share similar traits:  a few scary scenes; a good performance or two; and last but not least, a goofy script that sabotages much of what is positive about the film.  So it is with Absentia, in which residents of a Los Angeles neighborhood keep vanishing into a … oh, never mind.  But there are some chills here, and lead actress Katie Parker is appealing.  Release:  2011  Grade:  B-

 

*****

 

Everything or Nothing

.       

 

I suppose I expected something different from a documentary about the making of the James Bond movies, like more girls, gadgets, and guns.  Instead, Everything focuses on behind-the-scenes drama, in particular the clashing egos of producers Harry Saltzman and Cubby Broccoli and Bond creator Ian Fleming.  It’s an interesting tale, just not as entertaining as the films themselves.  One noticeable absentee from the roster of interviewees:  Sean Connery.  Release:  2012  Grade:  B

 

*****

 

The Silence

.       

 

A young girl is raped and murdered in a field, the killer is not found, and 23 years later — to the day — another girl goes missing at the same spot.  The Silence is unusual in that it concentrates as much on the victims’ families as on the crime.  The result is a compelling drama from Germany, but also a thriller that’s a bit short on thrills.  Release:  2010  Grade:  B

 

*****

 

Grabbers

.       

 

In Bride of the Monster, there is an infamous scene in which poor, aging Bela Lugosi tussles with a rubber octopus.  There’s a similar scene in Grabbers, but with a difference:  This time, we are supposed to laugh.  This Irish horror-comedy about an island village besieged by monsters is an affectionate nod to silly B-movies past, but aside from a hilarious turn by Ruth Bradley as a drunken cop, the laughs are sporadic.  The real grabber here is the breathtaking Irish scenery.  Release:  2012  Grade:  B

 

*****

 

Talhotblond

.       

 

You’ve probably heard of “catfishing,” the pernicious practice of conning people by using fake Internet profiles.  Filmmaker Nev Schulman has made a career chronicling the phenomenon, beginning with his 2010 movie Catfish and continuing with an MTV series.  But this movie, similar in theme to Catfish, predates Schulman’s documentary and, for my money, is the better film because the stakes, murder, are much higher.  The final twist is a stunner.  Release:  2009  Grade:  B+

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Trick ‘r Treat

.       

 

At first, I thought this horror-comedy was an undisciplined mess.  But then a funny thing happened on my way to the graveyard:  I realized I had the wrong attitude.  I expected the story to make sense.  Big mistake.  You have to view it as a filmed nightmare, in which your sleeping brain jumps from one horrific scenario to the next – it’s a vampire dream … a serial-killer dream … a space alien dream.  Trick is a surrealistic treat.  Most impressive:  writer-director Michael Dougherty’s colorful, stylish visuals.  Release:   2007   Grade:   B+

 

*****

 

Evocateur: The Morton Downey Jr. Movie

.       

 

Here’s a cautionary tale about what can happen when you obsessively compete with Daddy.  Downey, the son of a famed singer, was our original trash-talk TV host, a chain-smoking, foul-mouthed precursor to Limbaugh, Beck, et al – not to mention Jerry Springer.  But Downey’s fall was as fast and dramatic as his late ‘80s rise, and the whole saga is well documented in this film.  Release:  2013   Grade:  B+

 

*****

 

Maniac

.       

 

Elijah Wood again miscast, this time in a gory, unpleasant serial-killer remake.  Wood might be fine as a hobbit, but as a romantic leading man (The Oxford Murders) or a “terrifying” psycho (this film) … not so much.  The diminutive, child-like actor is simply too physically unthreatening – although he does have creepy eyes.  On the other hand, 50-year-old Jan Broberg proves that it’s never too late to bare a shapely ass for the camera.  Release:   2012   Grade:   C

 

*****

 

Olympus Has Fallen

.       

 

It’s Die Hard at the White House, but what was once a fresh concept — ballsy good guy vs. dozens of bad guys in a sealed-off setting, in this case Gerard Butler battling North Koreans in the president’s house — has gone stale.  Butler lacks Bruce Willis’s charm, the villain lacks Alan Rickman’s wit, and the whole film has a been-there-done-that feeling.  There are, however, lots of explosions — if that’s what floats your boat.  Release:   2013   Grade:   C

 

*****

 

Dirty Wars

.       

 

Journalist Jeremy Scahill looks into U.S. covert activity overseas, and the picture he paints isn’t pretty.  Scahill’s interviews with victims of collateral damage caused by military strikes – in particular by the Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC), the group responsible for killing bin Laden – are disturbing.  What taints this otherwise compelling documentary is the one-sidedness of the reporting:  Government response is either scant or missing in action.  Release:   2013   Grade:  B

 

*****

 

TWA Flight 800

.       

 

Evidence that conspiracy nuts might not always be nuts – and that our government has few compunctions about lying to us.  The documentary makes a strong case that Flight 800 was deliberately shot down on July 17, 1996 – scores of eyewitnesses describe missiles honing in on the plane – but it’s also a frustrating film in that no theories are proposed about the “why” of the catastrophe.  Do the filmmakers suspect terrorism, or perhaps a military mistake?  The movie also gets bogged down in technical jargon about melting nitrates, burning fuselages and other baffling terminology.  Release:   2013   Grade:  B

 

*****

 

The Purge

.       

 

An upper-middle-class family holes up in its gated community on “Purge Night,” an annual 12-hour window in which the government sanctions all crime – including murder.  Yes, it has a message about class warfare, and another message about violence in America, but it also has some genuinely tense invasion scenes.  Release:   2013   Grade:   B+

 

*****

 

Flight

.       

 

If your quarterback wins big games, would you care that he also has six illegitimate kids?  Flight is a smart film that asks a similar question:  How should we feel about our heroes when they are also deeply flawed?  Denzel Washington plays a pilot who pulls off a life-saving crash landing – but who also flies high in more ways than one.  The story is realistic and thought-provoking, yet Washington’s pilot is so self-assured, even cocky, that’s it’s difficult to much care about his fate.  Release:   2012   Grade:   B+

 

*****

 

We Steal Secrets: The Story of WikiLeaks

.       

 

Filmmaker Alex Gibney’s take on WikiLeaks, the online group devoted to uncovering secrets that powerful people would prefer you not know, and on Julian Assange, the weaselly Aussie who founded the organization, is riveting stuff.  The documentary touches on Assange’s legal battles – personal and professional – but mostly poses this question:  Where do you stand on freedom of the press vis-à-vis national security?  Judging from our government’s track record of lies and obfuscation, I’m going to side with the weaselly Aussie.  Release:   2013   Grade:   A-

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

I Spit on Your Grave 2

.        

 

This is why Web sites like “Mr. Skin” exist.  If you have no desire to suffer through the ridiculous plot and unpleasant gore of a film like this, but you do think star Jemma Dallender is a hottie, “Mr. Skin” has screen grabs for you.  Dallender spends much of Spit 2 in the nude, playing a model who is raped, whisked to Bulgaria (don’t ask), and assaulted again before she escapes to exact revenge.  The most shocking thing here is the presence of actor Joe Absolom, who plays such a sweet guy on the British series Doc Martin.  His agent must have put his balls in a vise.  Release:   2013   Grade:   D-

 

*****

 

Movie 43

.       

 

I’m not convinced it was entirely a coincidence that, just two months after the release of Movie 43, esteemed film critic Roger Ebert was in his grave.  A lot of Hollywood A-List talent appears in this comic disaster, which relies almost exclusively on scatological “humor.”  There might be some 10-year-olds who enjoy this but, if so, I weep for America’s future.  Release:   2013   Grade:   F

 

*****

 

The Call

.       

 

Teen girl is abducted at the mall and stuffed into the trunk of a car, where her only link to the outside world is a cell-phone connection with 911 operator Halle Berry.  It’s realistic, pulse-pounding stuff – until the final half hour when, for reasons known only to the filmmakers, the plot goes all Silence of the Lambs on us.  Release:   2013    Grade:   B-

 

*****

 

Oblivion

.       

 

The problem with Oblivion, essentially a video game for the big screen, is that in between its glitzy CGI and action scenes we must endure:  a) flat characters, and b) a pretentious story that steals ideas from much better sci-fi films.  That’s the bad news.  The good news?  If you’ve just purchased a new high-def TV, it sure does look pretty.  Release:   2013   Grade:   B

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

                           The Collection

  

 

I’m tempted to slap The Collection with an “F” for its bare-bones plot and ridiculously excessive gore.  However … if you are into splatter flicks — I generally am not — this sequel to The Collector is better than most of its gore-horror brethren thanks to a decent budget and some slick, fast-paced direction.  Release:  2012  Grade:  B-

 

                                         *****

 

               All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

 

 

The camera certainly loves Amber Heard, who plays one of six teens who (yawn) encounter trouble at an isolated ranch.  Director Jonathan Levine also seems to love stilted dialogue, “scares” that don’t scare, and a twist that any horror-film fan can see coming from a mile away.  This mediocrity was filmed in 2006 but sat on a shelf for seven years, awaiting distribution.  Too bad it’s not still sitting there.  Release:  2013  Grade:  D+

 

                                         *****

 

                             World War Z

 

 

Here’s proof that you can have an astronomical budget and Brad Pitt for a leading man … and still produce just another silly zombie movie.  Brad plays a perfect family man (of course) who saves the world (naturally) while fighting off hordes of the undead.  The zombies are not particularly original, but they do look cool in some overhead CGI shots.  Release:  2013  Grade:  C-

 

                                         *****

 

                              End of Watch

 

 

If you’re not a big fan of police, End of Watch could change your mind — at least for a couple of hours, thanks to the chemistry between Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Pena as two patrolmen in South Central L.A.  There isn’t a great deal of story, but it’s refreshing to watch a crime drama in which the cops are neither bad to the bone nor avenging super studs.  Release:  2012  Grade:  B+

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)