Hate to say “I told you so,” but I told you so. From December 2012 (click here).
*****
Bullshit:
“The New York Times calls it the most extraordinary film since …”
“A riveting piece of art — The Washington Post”
“Rolling Stone says this is the best …”
Truth:
One nerdy guy with glasses at The New York Times, one constipated woman at The Washington Post, and one hack having a bad day at Rolling Stone wrote the reviews. One opinion, but it sounds a lot more impressive when you say an entire publication likes your movie/book/music.
*****
I suppose this is just another case of Grouch’s dirty-old-manliness, but a piece this week on the local news about sexy reporter Natalie Nyhus’s lap-sit with Santa Claus caused Grouch’s egg to nog, his toe to mistle, and his candy to cane.
Excerpts:
Natalie: “It’s not often you get a one on one with Santa, and I had some burning questions.”
Natalie: “Santa has a way of knowing whether you’ve been naughty or nice – at least, most of the time.”
Santa: “You have to be a little naughty.”
Natalie: “Yeah.”
Santa: “OK, well you know that.”
Natalie: “I do!”
Santa: “Just a little bit.”
Natalie: “Just a little bit.”
After the report, anchor Liz Collin, no lump of coal herself, seemed as intrigued as the Grouch was about Natalie’s cuddle with Claus:
Liz: “Was that a little pillow talk you were having with Santa there?”
Natalie: “I was sitting on his lap.”
Liz: “You touched his key!”
Natalie: “What?”
The girls seemed a bit churlish with each other. If only some other bearded dude could mediate for them … wait … what’s this?
Reached for comment, the Grouch wouldn’t say whether or not the girls touched his key, but he did say that they jingled his bells.
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