by J.D. Haakenson
It’s not often that I read a book dozens of times — and have absolutely no desire to write a “review” of it.
That could be because, in this case, I wrote the blasted thing. And edited it. And proofread it. And designed it (with the assistance of evil A.I. for illustrations). And so, all the blame rests with me.
If you still want it (of course you do!) find it on Amazon here.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
TV Tidbits
Lumps of Coal: The Beast in Me and Frankenstein
On the surface, these Netflix premieres should be good. They have handsome production values, talented actors, and intriguing stories.
So why did I like them, sort of, but not really love them?
Simple answer: the main characters did nothing for me.
Claire Danes and Matthew Rhys (Beast in Me) and Oscar Isaac and Mia Goth (Frankenstein) all play unpleasant people. They are the stars. I didn’t like any of them. At least supporting players Jonathan Banks and Jacob Elordi are supposed to be monsters.
Christmas Yule: The Celebrity Traitors
At some point during the opening episode, I thought I’d finally burned out on this global reality show. Not to worry. By episode two, I was back on board. I still love this thing.
Although the participants are “celebrities” in Britain, I’d only heard of a few of them. I Google-searched one, singer Charlotte Church, and learned that she once won “Rear of the Year.”
England had a thing called “Rear of the Year”? Guess I should move there.
Charlotte Church pics (click for larger view):
. 
. 
OK, so maybe that last pic is a fake.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
A group of bickering billionaires ride out the apocalypse in their jungle bunker.
A modern-day date goes bad – for one of them.
A newbie congressman learns the secret of true power in Washington.
A survey of small-penis humiliation throughout the centuries.
Small-town boys encounter a UFO.
Those stories and a dozen more in The Grouch’s new book, Small Problems, now in paperback and e-book formats.
Purchase on Amazon here.
With an introduction by the dude playing hopscotch, below.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale
A recurring theme on Julian Fellowes’s beloved Downton Abbey (TV series and movies) has always been societal change — embracing it or resisting it. The suppression of gays, women, and people of color have all been examined. Nothing wrong with that; after all, the show is set in the early 20th century.
However … Fellowes goes light on potential downsides to social upheaval. Does gradual “progress” for marginalized groups inevitably lead to a more just, utopian world? Or does it simply transfer power from one group to another, and we all know what power does? Downton, especially lately, is none-too-subtle in its support of one side over the other. Fellowes’s villains do all but wear black hats (actually, sometimes they do). His heroes realize the error of their ways and reluctantly embrace change.
But I digress. I’ve been a fan of this show since 2011. The characters, pacing, and production values made it a joy for fans. This alleged swan song (will there be a spinoff for Lady Mary?) is comforting and poignant.
Yet I also watch the news in 2025. I see what progressivism has done across the pond. I can’t help but worry about another poignant movie titled Great Britain: The Grand Finale. Release: 2025 Grade: B
Would I watch it again? Not likely, but I might go back and watch the original series.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
And now for something completely different …
Go order my book! Link is here.
It’s cheap (free for some of you), hot off the presses, and guaranteed to either a) put a smile on your face or b) make you lose your lunch.
Paperback version available in a few days.
(For more information about the book, contact the author here: grouch@grouchyeditor.com)
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Asleep While the World Ends
A funny thing happened when I woke up this morning. After enjoying coffee and a cigarette, and a quick check of the morning news, I remembered that I watched A House of Dynamite the night before.
“Oh, yeah,” I thought. “It was pretty good.” Then I forgot about it.
That’s strange because the Netflix movie, while I was watching it, kept me absorbed throughout. And yet … I don’t think it will stick with me. Not like Fail Safe. Not like Dr. Strangelove or Crimson Tide or any other nail-biter about nuclear war.
I suspect House doesn’t hold up because of its structure. Director Kathryn Bigelow mounts a fine production with numerous tense scenes. The setup: Someone has launched a nuclear weapon aimed at Chicago, and the U.S. government scrambles to decide what to do. In just 19 minutes.
But the script plays out this horrifying scenario in a nonlinear fashion. We see the same 19 minutes from the perspective of three different characters. Just when suspense should be reaching fever pitch, we cut back to witness the same events from someone else’s point of view. This undercuts tension.
The result is a gripping story that starts and stops, starts and stops. After the first segment, we know what will happen in the next playouts.
House is a good movie but, unlike Fail Safe, not a particularly memorable one. On the other hand, we do need periodic reminders that civil war and pandemics are not the only nightmares we have to be concerned about. The nukes are still there.
**
On a lighter note, Sabrina Carpenter guest-hosted Saturday Night Live.
For those of us who prefer not to listen to her hit song “Manchild,” we can watch her dance in her underwear, instead:
And look what demonic A.I. has done to poor Sabrina’s panties:
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Peace in the Middle East!
OK, everyone needs to settle down. Maybe I’ve seen too many episodes of Fauda on Netflix. Or maybe I’m so damn old that I can’t completely buy “peace in the Middle East.” Seen that movie before, and it never ends well.
These people have despised each other forever — almost literally.
Give it a few years. Then check back with me.
Editor’s note: This review was written Saturday, October 18. I woke up this morning, Sunday, October 19, to this “breaking news”:
**
Short review this week because I am busy battling Amazon in an attempt to get my book published on its site.
In the meantime, I noticed a hot actress named Cleopatra Coleman on Black Rabbit. I did some research and unearthed these clips of her in another film, which I will call Black Backside:
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Black Rabbit
I’ve long maintained that you don’t need “likable” characters to sell your show. That helps, usually, but I’m also drawn to “interesting” characters. It’s why good villains are often more memorable than heroes. You hiss at the bad guy, but you can’t stop watching him.
Black Rabbit, an eight-part series on Netflix, is an example of this phenomenon. Jason Bateman and Jude Law play middle-aged New York City brothers who clash — to put it mildly — while running a trendy bar. Law, ostensibly the good brother, and ne’er-do-well Bateman are both brilliantly compelling. But you wouldn’t want either to marry your sister. Release: 2025 Grade: A-
Would I watch it again? Because of the time commitment, I rarely rewatch TV series. But I recommend this show. It’s stylish, well produced and, at times, agonizingly tense.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
