Daily Archives: September 4, 2016

rip2Photo by Amy Minnick


We asked Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contestant Rip van Dinkle to find out if size matters — specifically, to find out if his size matters.

Rip revealed his (not quite) two-inch tool to a bevy of attractive women — about half of them in face-to-face … er, face-to-penis encounters, and the other half over Skype — and asked them to pass judgment.

And because we realize that not more than three or four people on the planet care to read a post loaded with pictures of Rip’s puny pecker, we included eye-candy shots of the girls who ogled Rip’s manhood.

The leering ladies ran the gamut: podcasters, bloggers, a sex writer, a photographer, models, bar managers, some sex workers, and a few “girls next door.” Here they are:



Who’s Looking at Rip’s Dick?


.                   aimeealeeyaasha

                               Aimee                            Aleeya                            Asha


.                   cerseichristinecyndi

                                Cersei                            Christine                       Cyndi


.                   emilyjayegrouchyeditor.com Michele Carrasquillo

                                Emily                             Jaye                              Michele


.                   kelseylilithgrouchyeditor.com Shawna Roberts

                                Kelsey                            Lilith                            Shawna


.                   bishopdeejuli

                                Aiden                            Dee                                 Juliana


.                   mistygrouchyeditor.com Abbi Sterngrouchyeditor.com Rachel Khona

                                Misty                             Abbi                            Rachel


.                   maggievivianamy

                                Maggie                          Vivian                           Amy


.                   aliciagrouchyeditor.com Melanie Riedersgrouchyeditor.com Poppins

                                Alicia                           Melanie                   Just Kidding 



The Podcasters:


.                   rachel rip3 abbi





Rachel Khona attended the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant “to giggle at tiny penises and the men who would actually show them.” Khona, a sex writer, then invited Rip to discuss his package on her podcast, which she co-hosted with gal-pal Abbi Stern.

Rachel made it clear on the podcast that she would never, ever consider sleeping with someone like Rip, what with his puny pecker and all. Apparently, Rachel and Abbi wanted from Rip that rarest of things: a male who would actually confess in public that yes, his dick was lacking.


From the podcast:


Stern:  “It’s hilarious that anybody would want to advertise they have a small penis, because I don’t know how they’re ever gonna get ass after that.”

Khona:  “It’s sad. It feels like there’s a finger in you. Sometimes you don’t even know it’s there.”


. khona44    “So what’s it like having a small penis? How big does it get?”


. rip2    “Are you counting limp? For me, that’s not quite two inches.”



Moral of the story:  If you are under-hung, you don’t get to fuck Rachel. But she will giggle at your little dick.



.                   khona1 khona2 khona3

.                   khona5 khona6 khona7

                                   Click on pictures for bigger views of Rachel






From Thought Catalog:






The Photo Shoot:



Photo by Amy Minnick


Rip’s participation in the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant brought him Internet notoriety. But he doesn’t live in Brooklyn; he lives in Minneapolis.

Local photographer Amy Minnick recruited models Asha, Kelsey, and Shawna to pose with naked-as-a-jaybird Rip. The goal was not to flatter the bearded, beer-bellied Baby Boomer. The goal was to depict how a group of sexy ladies might react to Rip and his mini member.

When Rip revealed his private parts to the ladies in these pictures, they were polite enough to giggle at his shortcomings – at least not in front of him. In the picture below, Rip himself was not present, so the girls felt free to express how they really felt — especially with Rip’s organ side-by-side with other, more fortunate males.




Photo by Amy Minnick




Asha was the most enthusiastic model. When photographer Amy needed a volunteer to check out Rip’s manhood with a magnifying glass, Asha did not have to be asked twice: 


asha4Photo by Amy Minnick


Above, Asha zooms in on her subject matter. In the picture below, Rip owns the prick at far right. But you already guessed that.

We can’t imagine what Asha finds so funny. She probably felt sorry for the two chaps on the left.



Photo by Amy Minnick


.                   asha2 asha1 asha3

                                     Click on pictures for bigger views of Asha




Shawna was required to strip down to black bra and thong panties. This presented a challenge for Rip. As the possessor of a tiny penis, would the sight of half-naked Shawna prompt a … physical change in him? Would his penile puniness be exposed as a fraud?



Photo by Amy Minnick


In the photo above, Shawna apparently sees something amusing in her wine glass.




Photo by Amy Minnick


Above, Rip conquers a potentially embarrassing boner by concentrating not on Shawna’s “fuck me, Rip” pose in the bed behind him but rather on … a strap-on dildo?




Photo by Amy Minnick


Shawna, who apparently hasn’t seen enough, uses binoculars to eyeball Rip’s junk. At least it wasn’t a telescope.



.                   shawna5 shawna6 shawna7

                                 Click on pictures for bigger views of Shawna







Kelsey was the quiet, bashful model in the studio. We have no idea what she might have been thinking when she came face-to-face with Rip and his dangling noodle. But her smile seemed to indicate that she enjoyed his birthday-suit shame fame.



Photo by Amy Minnick

Above, the ladies (left to right: Kelsey, Asha, and Shawna) try not to check out Rip’s none-too-impressive sex organ as he serves them wine 


Says Rip, “Mostly, the girls tried not to let me catch them staring at my crotch. They would sneak peeks when they thought I wasn’t looking. I did catch Asha having a look once or twice. They all had to stifle giggles.”






Moral of the story:  We asked Rip if this photo shoot, featuring naked him and four clothed women, was a humiliating experience. “OK, it wasn’t exactly a Playgirl centerfold shoot,” he said. “But hey, how many guys can say they spent three hours on a Saturday afternoon with four chicks ogling their junk?”

A very good point.

Alas, Rip did not get a piece of ass from these ladies. The girls did, however, enjoy emasculating him.




Hats off (pants off?) to Amy Minnick, the woman who took the, uh, interesting black-and-white photos. Not only did the lens on her camera not shatter, but she endured hours of close scrutiny of Rip’s hairy cock and balls. We’re guessing that, outside of Rip himself (and his ex-wife), no one has spent more time staring at his twig and berries than Amy has.

Then again, who knows? Maybe she enjoyed it. Amy is pictured below.






From Thought Catalog:







Part 2


In Part 2, Rip has his dick measured by a Minnesota model and confesses his penis-pageant participation to sexy gal-pal Michele. Featuring video clips. Click here to go to Part 2.


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