Year in Review
Hoping to improve his relations with Congress, President Barack Obama last week named South African interpreter Thamsanqa Jantjie, above left, as “Special Liaison to John Boehner.” Boehner, on vacation in Tahiti, could not be reached for comment.
In October, political observers were surprised when Congress voted to reduce its yearly workload. Beginning in 2014, Senate and House members will be in session just eight days per year. Congressmen, including New York’s Charles Rangel, above, were on holiday break and could not be reached for comment.
In a bid to accommodate passengers who do not wish to be annoyed, the FAA announced that it will ban passengers from all flights, effective next year. “Much as cell phones and second-hand smoke annoy others, so do people annoy other people,” FAA spokesman Larry Peecee said. Members of Congress, most of whom own private planes that would be exempt from the new rules, could not be reached for comment.
Veteran CNN reporter Dana Bash, following her hard-hitting report on the “alpha house” shared by Congressmen Chuck Schumer, Dick Durbin and George Miller, announced that she will be moving into the house. “Some people have accused me of ‘getting into bed’ with Democrats,” Bash said. “Well, now I really will.”
Under pressure from the nation’s wealthy citizens, the American Psychiatric Association in December added “affluenza” to its list of recognized diseases. People who suffer from affluenza, defined by psychologist G. Dick Miller as a condition in which “wealth [buys] privilege and there is no rational link between behavior and consequences,” will be able to avoid prison sentences and will no longer pay taxes. Affluenzers will also be allowed to smoke and use cell phones on airplanes, although they will not be allowed to board airplanes.
Quote of the Week:
“This is the outcome that the Obama administration in the end, in the end ended up with.” — Fouad Ajami, speaking words of wisdom to Wolf Blitzer on Thursday.
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