The Grouchy Editor

Always the gracious host, Piers Morgan informed guest Jesse Ventura, “You make some very sensible points, and you make crackpot points.”

Piers later told Jesse, “You have been, as always … slightly crackers.”

I don’t know.  There are times when Ventura (above right, with potential “running mate” Howard Stern) makes more sense than our current candidates.

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Worst thing about the ridiculous fuss over the NFL’s striking referees? The unfortunate side-effect that it provided pompous ass Bob Costas with lots of air-time on news outlets.

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Martin Bashir, above, has trouble restraining his inner naughty boy.  After the New York Times ran a quote about “the stench of [Mitt] Romney” and its deleterious effect on Paul Ryan, Bashir asked guest Ken Vogel about the Romney campaign’s difficulty in attracting donors.

Bashir:  “Who’s to blame?  Is it Mr. Ryan or The Stench?”

Vogel:  “I don’t know about The Stench.”

Bashir:  “Is it time for more Republicans, as it were, to start standing upwind of Mitt Romney?”

Vogel:  “We should point out that that is traditionally the role that vice-presidential running mates take:  They are number two.  They’re number two for a reason.”

Somewhere, Beavis and Butt-head are giggling.

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So much for gender equality in high-school sports.

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Time was, movie stars considered themselves too good for TV commercials.  Then some of them began doing ads on the sly in places like Japan.  Now, you can’t turn on the television without hearing pitches from Tom Hanks (Marie Callender’s), Paul Giamatti (Liberty Mutual Insurance), Jeff Bridges (Duracell), Tommy Lee Jones (Ameriprise), or George Clooney (Budweiser).  John Travolta must be mistaken; it’s a good time to be a celebrity.

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“President Obama on that thing, he came off as an emasculated wimp.  He really did.” — Bernard McGuirk (above), a Bill O’Reilly minion, evaluating Obama’s appearance on The View.

OK, talk-show tough guy, be sure to let us know how emasculation feels on November 7.

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Meanwhile, this week on Survivor …

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Great Art (and Hot Blondes)

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Survivor is back, and it’s not hard to figure out which castaway is the favorite with CBS cameramen.  Hint:  It’s not the black dude.

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Critics Agree!

“It’s a stupid film on YouTube.” — noted author Salman Rushdie

“Fourteen minutes of your life you will never get back.” — some other guy

I had to see what all the fuss was about, so I checked out the trailer for Young Muhammad in Love, or whatever it’s called, and, well … I’ll have to say, this is wonderful stuff.  Here are my Oscar predictions for this charming little indie:

Best Supporting Actress:  Irma Glutz 

Best Supporting Actor:  Clem Kardashian

Achievement in Special Effects

Best Sex Scene (ok, ok, not an Oscar category, but should be)

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Sometimes I daydream about moving to Alaska.  I think it might be a nice place to live.  But then I see news items from Alaska like this:

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Piers Morgan took to Twitter to vent about Kelsey Grammer, who stomped off the set of Piers’s CNN program:

“Kelsey Grammer was supposed to be on my show now but ran out of the building.  Strange,” tweeted Piers.  He followed up with this:  “So, Kelsey Grammer saw a photo of his ex wife Camille in the open to our show and legged it  …. a shockingly unprofessional thing to do.”

Hard to understand what Kelsey found so offensive, so we tracked down the picture that opened Piers’ show, from Camille’s Oscar-nominated turn in The Naked Detective:

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Not that long ago, the world stood still when a certain author published certain books.  This week, that author is publishing her latest book.  What’s that, you say?  Nope, I wasn’t aware of it, either.

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“During sex with your father, is it considered cheating if you think of someone else?” — Joy Behar, mangling a viewer-submitted question (she meant to say “partner,” not “father”).

It’s possible that I might have butchered Behar’s mangled quote, just a bit.  Behar’s new network, Current TV, does not provide written transcripts of her show.  My point is this:  Who knew Jokin’ Joy is back with a new show?

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Prick of the Week:  Moneyball Author Michael Lewis

Rachel Maddow:  “Why do you think President Obama let you have this kind of access for eight months?”

Michael Lewis (author of a new book about Obama):  “It’s interesting because he never explained why it was that he let me tag along with him, which is what he did.”

Gee, Mr. Journalist, could it be because you violated reporting ethics, big time, by agreeing to let Obama veto any quotes he didn’t care for?

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I was watching one of those British mystery series, Midsomer Murders.  The killer turned out to be a young woman, the product of an illicit affair, who was upset because she wasn’t fully accepted by her family — the “Inkpens.”  Yes, folks, she was driven to kill because she really, really wanted to be an Inkpen.  Gotta love those British mysteries.

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“Well I hate to say this but I was right and the president was wrong.” — Bill O’Reilly, crowing about his “prediction” of trouble in Egypt.  Great work, Bill.  You, and only you, suspected that violence might once again rear its ugly head in the Middle East.

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Yes, there is another scandal involving England’s royal family.  According to at least one Web site, “Kate [Middleton] was spotted smoking a cigarette as the couple walked out of nearby Marseille airport, where they arrived on a commercial flight.”

This kind of behavior must end.  Cannot believe they are taking commercial flights!  And oh, yes, there are also naked pictures of Kate, taken apparently as she playfully mooned the photographer.

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And finally, since we are on the subject of sexy mammals …

Click here for the saddest love story since Romeo and Juliet

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