WHEN ZOMBIES ATTACK!
I suppose it’s in bad taste, but I want to chew on this Florida face-eating incident, just a bit more. There are a lot of juicy nuggets and tasty tidbits related to this story, so please humor me if you find any of the following items hard to swallow:
Face-eater understatement No. 1, from Miami cop Javier Ortiz: “It was very sad to see what happened to this gentleman that had his face eaten.”
Face-eater understatement No. 2, from Miami cop Armando Aguilar: “In my opinion, he [victim Ronald Poppo] just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Editors at The Huffington Post seem to think that if you include the word “naked” in your headline, people will pay attention:
Above, the most popular stories on The Huffington Post. Who needs The Walking Dead when we’ve got all this to digest?
Question: Does Martha Stewart ever order takeout?
Answer: “Oh, I never do!” says Stewart, 70. “I can’t remember the last time I ordered in a pizza. I will either eat out in a very good restaurant or I will cook.”
Not sure why Parade didn’t ask Stewart about prison food. Didn’t she have to “order in” pretty much every day when she was behind bars?
Lots of outrage over the John Edwards trial. I’m not about to defend Edwards’s behavior. However … didn’t anyone read the book Game Change? Elizabeth Edwards, who is portrayed as a saintly victim in many media reports, comes across in the book as an ill-tempered, unstable harridan.
I am reminded of Jack Lemmon’s old movie, How to Murder Your Wife. In the final act, Lemmon asks a pal if, given the opportunity to simply push a button and make his wife disappear, he would push it. If I was Edwards, I would have pushed that button.
I’m tired of hearing about “urban legends.” Aren’t there any good rural legends?
Author Janet Evanovich finally got a movie produced, based on one of her books. One for the Money was savaged by critics, bombed at the box office, and currently has a 2% “fresh” rating at Rotten Tomatoes. So I’m guessing that when Evanovich blogged about attending the premiere of the film, she didn’t intend for her comments to sound, well, quite the way they sound:
“The premiere for One for the Money, the movie, was last night in New York City. It was pretty exciting!” she gushed. “And just so you know, it’s not all glamorous … my eyes didn’t swell up and break out until after I saw the movie.”
Bonehead Quote of the Week:
“Don’t you worry about the optics of this, you as a doctor?”
— CNN resident idiot Sanjay Gupta, expressing his disapproval to a doctor who dared to oppose Proposition 29, a new tax on smokers up for a vote this week in California. Gupta, in the guise of objective journalist, acknowledged that he is on the board of directors of an anti-tobacco foundation. I guess he’s not concerned about the “optics” of that.
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