Ebola!

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Italians take to the streets after rumors spread that two nurses had been spotted in a park

 

President Obama and Thomas R. Frieden of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention today urged public panic in the wake of fears over the spread of the deadly disease Ebola.

“This is not West Africa,” Frieden said.  “My family and I have been tearing the hair out of our heads over this thing, and I suggest that you do so, as well.”

“Everybody run!” said Obama, when asked for comment on his way to a fundraiser in California.

 

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Wall Street workers heed Obama’s advice

 

Ebola3

Fear spreads in Japan

 

Meanwhile, The Huffington Post ignores its own front page:

 

Middle

 

Top

 

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In more important matters, Survivor’s Baylor shows us her butt.

 

Baylor1Baylor2Baylor3

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Blue Jasmine

jasmine02.jpg

 

You can take Woody Allen out of New York, but you can’t take New York out of Woody Allen – thank goodness.  Cate Blanchett shines as a society snob who takes a tumble when her husband goes to prison and her finances vanish, forcing her to shack up with a sister on the West Coast.  The setting is San Francisco, but the characters – each with his or her own idea of “the good life” – are pure New York.  Release:  2013   Grade:  B+

 

*****

 

Honeymoon

Honeymoon

 

Here’s a spooky movie that’s refreshing both for what it is and for what it is not.  It is not zombies and it’s not vampires and it’s not all special effects and gore.  (OK, there is some gore.)  It is a throwback to 1950s science fiction, in which the communist threat reared its ugly head in monsters and neighbors and plants.  The story, in which newlyweds Rose Leslie and Harry Treadaway find more than good sex at a secluded lakeside cottage, is a bit pokey at first, but the final act is chilling.  Release:  2014  Grade:  B

 

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Sean1Bill1

 

“I think Bill Maher’s good for America.  Let me tell you why … he’s willing to speak the truth when so many others in the media are scared to death.” – Fox’s Sean Hannity on Tuesday, causing me to crap my pants.

 

*****

 

“It’s as if in World War II we didn’t call the Nazis ‘Nazis’ because we were afraid to offend them.  You call the enemy by their name.  You call everything by its true name, otherwise it’s pure Orwell.” – Lt. Colonel Ralph Peters (the one with the castrato voice) on “terrorism” vs. “workplace violence.”

This from a guy whose military comes up with terms like “collateral damage,” “degrading the enemy,” and “friendly fire”?

 

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These endless wars in the Middle East are too depressing to dwell on.  We’ve been told, for years now, that we have Middle Eastern “allies,” yet these comrades-in-arms either dislike us or are spectacularly incompetent.

Seems like Obama has two options:  A)  Get the hell out of the Middle East altogether (sorry, Israel, but this is your problem), or B) do a much, much better job of explaining to the public just exactly why we must be there.  I’m not holding my breath for either scenario.  Congress doesn’t seem to care, so why should we?

 

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I keep reading that women do not care for penis pictures.  Then why are women so happy to see Ben Affleck’s penis?

 

Capture

 

… and JLaw picks a strange way to gripe about her leaked nudies:

 

jihad

 

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TV late-night host David Letterman recently announced his retirement, but I think I’ll miss his follow-up act on CBS, Craig Ferguson, even more.  Ferguson, who will be leaving his late-show gig in December, is a funny, affable guy, and that winning personality is on full display in this 2009 memoir.

Possibly I enjoyed the book because — aside from the born-and-raised-in-Scotland business — Ferguson and I share similar backgrounds:  We’re about the same age and we both drank way, way too much alcohol in our younger days.  I do have two quibbles with American on Purpose.  Quibble 1 – the title is a bit misleading; it would more accurately be titled Growing Up Drunk in Britain.  Quibble 2 – Ferguson gushes about former wives and girlfriends, understandably when you consider his behavior toward them, but also unrealistically.  Were all of his former flames such stunning beauties and flawless human beings?  But overall, this is a charming memoir, and I look forward to a sequel.  There will be a sequel, right?

 

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“Just trust us”

 

— the “infallible” U.S. medical system, before releasing an Ebola-infected man into the streets

— the Secret Service, to Barack Obama

— Congress, before taking yet another vacation while the world goes to hell

— Google, before spreading your private, nude photos all over the Internet

 

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No surprise

 

Why is this not surprising?

 

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Hey Leo, if you want me to reduce my carbon footprint, how about you stop leaving such a giant one, yourself?

 

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Lots of happy people this week.  The media are happy because just talking about war isn’t nearly as exciting as actually waging it.  The defense industry is happy because the big bucks will once again roll in.  Conservatives are happy because Obama finally grasped the fact that he was elected, twice, not to do the bidding of the people who voted for him, but to do the bidding of the people who voted against him.

Amazing how quickly we all stopped asking, “Should we bomb in Syria?” and leaped to “Who wants to join us?”  Congress is home taking a nap, the media has a war woody, and the populace is afraid it will get its head chopped off while sleeping in bed.

 

*****

 

Linder

 

I finally figured out the meaning behind the title of the FX series, The Bridge.  Apparently, several characters have severe dental issues and must wear a bridge.  I realized this when I noticed that Hank never moves his lips when he speaks, and neither does Mumble Mouth Linder (above), who is more incomprehensible than a drunken Tom Brokaw.

I am upset with FX because the network provides subtitles for all of the show’s Spanish speakers, but none for Hank and none for Mumble Mouth Linder.

 

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AP

 

The clowns who populate cable news have been aflutter, agog, and atwitter over Adrian Peterson and the issue of corporal punishment.  But you have to go online to find stories about what is, to me, the bigger issue:  this propensity of pampered jocks to create fatherless families.

 

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Watching Jimmy Fallon this week was like traveling back in time to 1966.  Barbra Streisand belting out tunes, Jerry Lewis cracking jokes, Questlove sporting an Afro ….

 

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I want to work for CNN.  On CNN, you can get a job like Anthony Bourdain and Mike Rowe have which, from what I can tell, entails traveling around the globe, eating food, and chatting with locals.  For that, you are paid handsomely.  I can do that.

 

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All Is Lost

Lost

 

Robert Redford plays a yachtsman who struggles for eight days to survive in the Indian Ocean after his boat is punctured by floating junk.  Redford was praised for his solo performance in this harrowing tale, and deservedly so, but All Is Lost is really a director’s movie … and a sound engineer’s movie, and an editor’s movie, and a cinematographer’s movie, et al.  It’s a fine showcase for what only Hollywood can do:  dazzle us with sight and sound.  Release:  2013   Grade:  B+

 

*****

 

Il Futuro

Future

 

This is one of those artsy, low-plot foreign movies that suck you in because the characters are interesting and the images are striking.  Sad-eyed Manuela Martelli plays an orphaned teen who, along with her younger brother and his shady pals, concocts a plot to rob an aging blind man (Rutger Hauer).  The ensuing romance between old man Hauer and waif-like Martelli manages to be simultaneously creepy and erotic.   Release:  2013  Grade:  B-

 

*****

 

Wake in Fright

Wake

 

“He was a good guy.  But then he fell in with a bad crowd.”  John Grant (Gary Bond) is a good guy, a schoolteacher toiling in the boonies of Australia’s Outback.  He goes on holiday, has a drink, does a little gambling … and then meets the menfolk of a community known as “The Yabba.”  What follows is a harrowing, graphic look at just how low the human spirit can fall – disturbing stuff, but expertly realized by filmmaker Ted Kotcheff.  Release:  1971  Grade:  B+

 

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Reality TV Week!

 

Utopia

Fox premiered a new reality show called Utopia.  A bunch of exhibitionist gluttons for punishment volunteered to spend a year at a ranch equipped with scores of TV cameras, and viewers are invited to watch the proceedings, 24 hours a day.  And what kind of goodness awaits viewers of the live stream?  This kind of goodness:

 

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x24x610_utopia-nikki-relaxing-in-the-nude_shortfilms

 

[Editor’s note: Apparently someone at Fox or Dailymotion decided that this video should be cancelled, just like the low-rated show it sprang from. Below is a screen capture from Utopia’s short-lived run.  – January 2016]

 

.                 grouchyeditor.com Utopia

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Big Brother

Houseguests on CBS’s Big Brother spend a lot of time fantasizing about their post-show popularity with fans, particularly on social media sites.  So imagine their surprise last week when they overheard the audience reception given to booted contestant Christine, who was greeted with a chorus of loud boos.  No, you don’t have to imagine their surprise; here’s a picture:

 

BB

 

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This guy never, ever, has any good news:

 

Hawking

 

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MORE CELEBRITY

 

NUDES LEAKED!

(Click on the images for full nudes) *

 

 

Palin                   Moore2

                    Sarah Palin                                                    Michael Moore

 

  Gabbard                       Blitzer

              Tulsi Gabbard                                              Wolf Blitzer

 

  Rickles                      Arianna

                Don Rickles                                                      Arianna Huffington

 

*  If you click on the images and do not see full nudes, this can mean either a) your computer has been hacked and is no longer functioning, so you might as well just toss it into the trash; or b) we have too much time on our hands and thought this would be a fun prank.

 

*****

 

Farm

 

We realized that the hacked celebrity nudes were a big deal when we saw that Farm Weekly was all over the story.  Farm Weekly?

 

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