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28Jul

Tuesdays with Tommy (and Louie)

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There was a scene in last night’s episode of Rescue Me in which firefighter Tommy Gavin, alone in the men’s room at the fire station, discovers to his hung-over horror that he is wearing a woman’s thong. Too much booze the night before, and so he has no idea how this came to be. As he gapes at his thong-clad derriere in a bathroom mirror, the deputy chief walks in. The chief glances at Tommy, opens his mouth to say something … then turns and walks quietly out the door. It’s a funny, funny bit.

It’s this kind of scene that makes Denis Leary’s Rescue Me such a comic delight. What makes it must-see TV is the show’s mixture of that kind of silliness with high drama. Alcoholic Tommy will go straight from that restroom into some corridor of hell, whether that means a burning building, his estranged family, or his high-maintenance lover.

Callie Thorne

John Scurti

Andrea Roth

Rescue Me is entering its sixth season on FX just as Louis C.K.’s new series Louie joins the network’s Tuesday-night lineup. Between the two of them, Leary and Louis have turned Tuesdays into the only night when I go out of my way to watch scripted television. These two middle-aged guys, both with roots in standup comedy, are at the peak of their game. They created their own series, star in them and, in Louis’s case, also direct and write.

So far, Louie has been a hit-or-miss affair. Some of the segments fall flat, but when the show scores, it really scores. C.K., like that fire chief on Rescue Me, is a master of the silent reaction. It’s not what he says that slays me, it’s the look on his pasty face — a double-take, a raised eyebrow, simple deadpan — when life throws yet another absurdity at him.

Louis C.K. and Ricky Gervais

Back in the ’90s, NBC had what it called “Must See TV.” NBC’s hubris bothered me, so I decided that I Must Not Watch. And I didn’t. But now I have my own Must See TV, Tuesday nights on FX.

Rescue Me (click here)

Louie (click here)

27Jul

A Boy and His Dog (1975)

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It’s hard to say who might be more offended by the cult classic A Boy and His Dog: feminists, the citizens of Topeka, Kansas, or sperm banks. I’d vote for sperm banks, because institutions generally have little or no sense of humor.

The genesis of this low-budget oddity is a Harlan Ellison novella, which tells the story of Vic (the boy) and Blood (the dog), two roving souls in post-apocalyptic America, circa 2024. Vic (Don Johnson) is the dumb one, a hormonal homeboy who at least has sense enough to recognize the “smart” one: Blood. The dog, for some unexplained reason, has developed an ability to communicate telepathically, which he uses to deliver some wickedly funny one-liners (particularly the last line of the film). Blood also boasts more mundane dog skills, such as sniffing out scarce food — and even scarcer human females.

When Vic is seduced by a female recruiter from the (literal) underworld, our scruffy heroes are given a choice: remain above ground, where vicious bands of males fight for food and women, or follow Quilla June Holmes (Susanne Benton) to the land down under. Vic wants to go with his new girlfriend; Blood does not. I mentioned which of the two of them was smart, didn’t I?

Ellison’s story posits some interesting questions. Is it better to live free but among savages (the “natural” state), or in a society where everyone must conform or face dire consequences for “lack of respect, wrong attitude, [and] failure to obey authority”? In the world portrayed by A Boy and His Dog, this is not an appetizing choice.

But if Boy is infamous, it’s not because of any social questions it raises; it’s because of its notorious ending, in which Blood proves to be “man’s” best friend, indeed. Is the ending misogynistic? Is the entire movie misogynistic? I’d say yes, but then I’d be like that sperm bank and totally devoid of a sense of humor. Perhaps it’s just a matter of taste. Grade: B

Director: L.Q. Jones Cast: Don Johnson, Susanne Benton, Jason Robards, Tim McIntire, Alvy Moore, Helene Winston, Charles McGraw, Hal Baylor Release: 1975

Watch Trailers (click here)

26Jul

Free Flick of the Week: “Troll 2”

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A new documentary called Best Worst Movie just opened at art-house cinemas. It is a look at the making of 1990’s Troll 2, a movie reputedly so bad that it is rivaling Plan 9 from Outer Space for the crown of Worst Movie Ever Made. I have not seen this documentary, although it’s generating positive reviews. That’s more than can be said for its inspiration, which you can watch for free by clicking here.

24Jul

The Weekly Review: July 18 – 24

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Harry Potter fans are breathlessly awaiting the first installment of the series finale, due out in November. The anticipation got me wondering about the young Potter stars in the aftermath of Deathly Hallows — what will become of Daniel, Emma, and Rupert? Herewith, I handicap their careers:

Daniel Radcliffe (Harry): He’d best make the transition from leading man/boy to character actor, because I can’t see the little shrimp making it as a conventional leading man. Lots of stars — Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson — are short, but Radcliffe also has a “nerd” quality that will prevent him from becoming the next action hero. Apparently he has genuine acting chops, because he seems to have done well on the stage. If all else fails, Radcliffe can probably get work in porn because he seems unperturbed about displaying his “magic wand” (Equus).

Emma Watson (Hermione): I see Watson as having the best shot at a solid film career. She’s following the Jodie Foster path by attending college, does not seem overly consumed by fame, and is cute as a button.

Rupert Grint (Ron): Grint reminds me of Anthony Michael Hall in those old John Hughes movies. He’s going to be stuck in comedies and in roles where he plays the “best friend,” but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. He has great comic flair and might be the best pure actor of the Potter trio.

*****

I don’t normally seek out The Huffington Post for my humor fix, but I stumbled across this picture gallery the other day and I feel I should share it. If you want more jock-strap jollies, click this link to check out the “Most Homoerotic Sports Photos Ever Taken.”

*****

Sarah Palin’s invention of the word “refudiate” reminds me of other words that get butchered, sometimes with absurd consequences.

Discriminate — This is not an inherently “bad” word. Once upon a time, to discriminate was considered a good thing, as in, “She has discriminating taste.”

Niggardly — A few years ago, some public figure came under fire for using this word, which sounds a lot like the N-word but actually means “stingy.” The poor man lost his job for using this word, which is a shame. I believe we should refudiate this kind of discrimination, which seems niggardly.

23Jul

Valhalla Rising

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You have to wonder how much time actor Mads Mikkelsen spent examining his own face in the mirror after accepting the lead role in Valhalla Rising, an artsy/gory Viking saga set in 1000 AD. As the enigmatic warrior-slave “One Eye” (his character has, uh, one eye), Mikkelsen utters not a single line of dialogue in the film. Not one. Compared to this brooding Norseman, Clint Eastwood’s “Man With No Name” was a veritable Chatty Cathy doll.

Mikkelsen does, however, spend a lot of time gazing. Sometimes he casts a meaningful gaze. Other times, it’s a haunting gaze. From time to time, he displays a mournful gaze. And when he’s having a “vision,” his gaze turns bloodshot red. One Eye might not say much, but the man does have an active fantasy life.

I suppose you could argue that in medieval Britain, there wasn’t that much to talk about. Life in 1000 was short and brutal; “instant messaging” was likely a pickaxe to the skull, and too much gabbing got in the way of looting and pillaging. When One Eye escapes bondage and joins up with some Christian Vikings, “conversation” often consists of a simple question, followed by 45 seconds of silence, and then, with any luck, a perfunctory reply. Or more likely, additional gazing. At times in this film, I longed for the sophisticated verbal interplay of, say, Deathstalker.

There is also very little plot in the film. Again, you could argue that outside of simple survival, there wasn’t that much to do in 1000. Director Nicolas Winding Refn fills a mid-movie script hole by sending his crusaders on an interminably long ocean voyage. To give him due credit, Refn’s visuals are often striking, and his movie (shot in Scotland) is certainly atmospheric; in fact, at times it is nothing but atmosphere. But I digress. Back to our crusading heroes: The Christian Vikings’ quest for fame and fortune in Jerusalem takes a nasty wrong turn somewhere, and the bearded ones wind up discovering North America.

After that endless sea voyage, I was prepared for a rip-roaring windup to the movie. Surely, One Eye would stop his soulful gazing long enough to engage in some sort of bloody battle. I checked his resume, and learned that director Refn’s recent credits include – of all things — a TV episode of “Miss Marple.” After all that refined gentility, Refn would certainly cut loose with a testosterone-laden, heart-pounding climax to Valhalla, wouldn’t he? Alas, once again I was destined to pine for Deathstalker. A North American savage clobbers One Eye on the head, our hero keels over, and the end credits roll. This disappointing denouement dumbfounded me, and I could only sit before the screen, gazing mournfully. Grade: C

Director: Nicolas Winding Refn Cast: Mads Mikkelsen, Maarten Stevenson, Gordon Brown, Andrew Flanagan, Gary Lewis, Gary McCormack, Alexander Morton Release: 2010

Watch Trailers (click here)

21Jul

The Kids Are All Right

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And so this summer of over-hype marches on. First, movie audiences were treated to Inception, an okay thriller that misguided “fanboys” praised as the second coming of Citizen Kane. For the indie crowd, we now have The Kids Are All Right, a film that many critics are lauding as the second coming of … what? Yours, Mine and Ours?

I don’t want to denigrate Lisa Cholodenko’s Kids, which is a fine movie, but despite its trendy family unit headed by a pair of lesbians, the film is a lot more conventional than you might think. Rewrite Annette Bening’s character as a male, and you’re viewing a “family values” comedy-drama that might have starred Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball in the 1960s – minus the sex scenes and obscenities, of course.

Kids is a nice movie with nice characters and a bittersweet ending – nothing more, nothing less. Bening and Julianne Moore play the moms of two teenagers, and Mark Ruffalo portrays an anonymous sperm donor who, 18 years after his donation, is tracked down by the curious boy and girl and invited into their family dynamic. All of the characters in Kids seem like real people, which is refreshing, and you find yourself liking all of them, which is uncommon in today’s films. I guess that’s such a rare combination that many critics can’t help falling all over themselves in praising the movie.

Kids manages to avoid excessive political correctness, a pitfall that could have killed its feel-good nature. You will probably leave the theater with a smile on your face, which certainly counts for something. Grade: B+

Director: Lisa Cholodenko Cast: Julianne Moore, Annette Bening, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, Josh Hutcherson, Yaya DaCosta, Kunal Sharma, Rebecca Lawrence Release: 2010

Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

20Jul

Wonder Boys (2000)

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There are two scenes in Curtis Hanson’s Wonder Boys that stick with me. The first takes place in a solemn college lecture hall, where a pompous author (Rip Torn) is addressing his audience. As Torn drones on in a god-like manner, there is a sudden bark of derisive laughter from the back of the hall; a student, recognizing arrogant bullshit when he hears it, has not been able to restrain himself. The second scene is purely visual. An inexperienced young cop gets out of his parked patrol car and begins to cross the street — but he forgets to set his parking brake, and must comically scamper back to the car as it begins to roll downhill.

Neither of those scenes has diddly-squat to do with the plot of the film, and director Hanson could easily have relegated them to the cutting-room floor. That Curtis kept them in his movie is telling. This is a writer’s film. Screenwriter Steve Kloves, adapting a novel by Michael Chabon, was free to fill Wonder Boys with many memorable, quirky vignettes that do nothing but add delicious flavor to the story.

Memorable and quirky also describe the performances in this film. We are so accustomed to seeing Michael Douglas wearing Armani and a sneer, manipulating his way through corporations or Wall Street, that it’s a bit jarring to instead see him in a frayed woman’s nightgown, floundering through life as English Professor Grady Tripp, a one-time literary sensation who now prefers pot-smoking to anything resembling real work.

As a sidebar, it’s interesting to note the career paths of Douglas’s two young co-stars in Wonder Boys, Tobey Maguire and Katie Holmes. Maguire, hilarious in this film as deadpan, kleptomaniac, student-writer James Leer, went on to solid roles in the Spider-Man films, and more serious fare like Brothers. Holmes, a T-shirt-and-panties-clad source of sexual temptation to Professor Tripp in Boys, went on to … Tom Cruise. (I have no comment on which of them made the better career choice. You decide.) Adding immeasurably to the “quirk factor” in this movie are supporting actors Robert Downey, Jr., Rip Torn, and Frances McDormand.

But this is Douglas’s picture. He said he was attracted to the role of disheveled, well-meaning-but-clueless Grady because he wanted a break from playing “the prince of darkness.” His Professor Tripp is a shiftless man who needs a good push to make changes in his life. Watching his struggle to do so is both hilarious and rewarding. Grade: A-

Director: Curtis Hanson Cast: Michael Douglas, Tobey Maguire, Frances McDormand, Robert Downey, Jr., Katie Holmes, Rip Torn, Richard Knox, Richard Thomas Release: 2000

Watch Trailers (click here)

19Jul

Free Flick of the Week: “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”

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If you’re looking for a plot-driven movie where “lots of things happen,” you might want to take a pass on this odd-but-fascinating film from director Lasse Hallstrom. On the other hand, if you like character-driven drama and are curious about early work from current heartthrobs Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio, by all means watch this one. Depp plays a put-upon young man who finds himself responsible for a dysfunctional (to put it mildly) family that includes his obese mother — who hasn’t set foot out of their house in seven years — and his mentally retarded younger brother (DiCaprio). Watch it for free by clicking here.

18Jul

Kisses

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There is a movie from 1979 that I recall fondly, about a poor-little-rich-girl (Diane Lane) who runs away with a charismatic French boy. The two 13-year-olds have but one goal: to share a kiss under the Bridge of Sighs in Venice, Italy.

The movie is A Little Romance, directed by George Roy Hill. It’s not a profound film by any means, but it is quite the charmer if you happen to be in the right mood.

In Kisses, two 11-year-olds (Shane Curry and Kelly O’Neill) also run away from home. They, too, find romance, ride in a boat, and share a kiss – but this ain’t Venice and it sure ain’t the Bridge of Sighs. Dylan and Kylie are two ragamuffins from broken homes in gritty, suburban Dublin, and they find their puppy love – and trouble – during one hardscrabble night in the big city.

In terms of plot, not that much transpires in Kisses. Dylan and Kylie meet people, some of them good and some of them very bad. They hunt for Dylan’s older brother, and they just … well, play. They are 11-year-olds, after all. Their journey begins like an Irish version of Huckleberry Finn, with the kids hitching a ride on a river dredger captained by a friendly fellow. Their adventure ends with a frantic escape from the clutches of two child molesters.

So what do these kids learn from their night on the town? As Kylie tells Dylan, “You were right, though. There is no devil. Just people.” Which may or may not be the same thing. Unpleasant things happen to our young heroes in Kisses, but this is far from an unpleasant movie. In its humble, gritty way, Kisses is every bit as beguiling as A Little Romance. Grade: B+

Director: Lance Daly Cast: Shane Curry, Kelly O’Neill, Paul Roe, Neili Conroy, David Bendito, Elizabeth Fuh, Cathy Malone Release: 2010

Watch Trailers (click here)

17Jul

The Weekly Review: July 11 – 17

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We hear a lot about America’s obesity epidemic. One-third of America’s children are overweight or obese. McDonald’s is under fire again, and soda machines are being removed from schools.

I am hearing a lot about something else — Nikki Blonsky, star of the new ABC Family series, Huge. Nikki Blonsky, I hear, is a wonderful role model for young people because she embraces her “plus-size” frame. Nikki Blonsky is perfectly content with Nikki Blonsky, so everyone else should shut up and deal with it.

This is all very confusing. Lard — love it or leave it?

*****

I thought I might make an eyebrow-raising point (as opposed to, say, a hair-raising comment). I thought I might complain about the disturbing shift in Hollywood from adult-oriented movies to kiddie fare. Fifty years ago, I thought, we had more mature movies. Today, we are inundated with Shrek, Toy Story, Marmaduke, Despicable Me, and superheroes. Surely, that kind of thing was unheard of in the 1960s. I looked it up.

Here are the top ten grossing films from the 1960s, in descending order: The Sound of Music, 101 Dalmations, The Jungle Book, Doctor Zhivago, The Graduate, Mary Poppins, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, My Fair Lady, Thunderball, Funny Girl.

Rats. So much for my argument. Two cartoons, one live-action kiddie flick, and three family-friendly musicals. Just for kicks, I looked at the 1950s. The top of the list was dominated by Disney cartoons. I give up. Kiddies rule, and kiddies have always ruled.

*****

If Saturday Night Live doesn’t have a hilarious skit tonight about the Mel Gibson-Oksana Grigorieva freak show, I will give up on Saturday Night Live.