.        Silverman1

 

In the recent documentary Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, the venerable comedienne insists that, when it comes to standup, no topic is off limits.  That might be true, but when compared to today’s top comedians, old pro Rivers seems awfully tame.

Case in point:  Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic.  Silverman, who joins Kathy Griffin in the upper echelon of American female comics, doesn’t seem to have any limitations:  “Smelly” Mexicans, blacks who don’t leave tips, anus analysis, and dying old people are all just fodder for a routine which, I have to admit, is often hilarious.  What seems to be sad but true is that the crueler the setup, the funnier the payoff.

What separates Silverman from the standup pack is her surface innocence.  Her “who, little old me?” persona and cutie-pie face are at comic odds with her delivery whenever she drops the f-bomb, simulates sex, cracks wise about the Holocaust, and so forth.   It does make me wonder, however, just how well Silverman’s shtick will play when she’s 45 and no longer “cute” – something never an issue for Rivers, and probably not for Griffin, either.

But for now – or, in the case of this concert film, 2005 – Silverman’s politically incorrect, profane, and outrageous offensive works just fine.       Grade:  B

 

Silverman2

 

Director:  Liam Lynch  Cast:  Sarah Silverman, Brian Posehn, Laura Silverman, Bob Odenkirk, Kelsie Lynn  Release:  2005

 

Silverman3                                Silverman4

Silverman5     Watch Trailers  (click here)

 

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Wartime1

 

Say the word “pedophile,” and most people look the other way.  In Life During Wartime, director Todd Solondz asks you to spend 96 minutes not looking away – just to see, you know, if you might learn something about this uncomfortable subject.  Solondz does everything in his power to keep you watching.  Much of the film is shot in sunny Florida, with bright colors, pretty people, and polite conversation.  Ah, but what lurks between the lines of those conversations ….

We hear a lot in our news media about the victims of sex abuse.  What goes under-reported is the devastation wreaked on the families of the abusers – those siblings, wives, and children who are not abused themselves, but who are nevertheless affected.  The emphasis is on these people in Wartime, and there is much talk about “forgetting” and “forgiving.”

Although most of the film is about these relatives, its most powerful scene is between the pedophile himself, recently released from prison, and his college-student son.  It’s a short scene, and there are no histrionics, but actors Ciaran Hinds and Chris Marquette turn it into the most potent five minutes in the movie.

I suppose some viewers will feel that, by focusing on the father in this dramatic scene, Solondz is asking us to empathize with a child molester.  I didn’t see it that way.  I saw it as a filmmaker pointing his camera at two talented actors, letting the scene unfold, and simply saying to the audience, “Here.  This is unpleasant but this is what happens.  You be the judge.”              Grade:  B+

 

Wartime2

 

Director:  Todd Solondz  Cast:  Allison Janney, Shirley Henderson, Michael Lerner, Dylan Riley Snyder, Ciaran Hinds, Michael K. Williams, Paul Reubens, Charlotte Rampling, Ally Sheedy, Chris Marquette  Release:  2010

 

Wartime3      Watch Trailers (click here)

 

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WonderBoy

 

These are heady times for fans of Kirk Douglas’ son.  Michael Douglas wowed critics earlier this year in Solitary Man, and next month he stars in the much-anticipated sequel, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.  Ten years ago, Douglas gave a rare comic performance in what I think is one of his best films, Wonder Boys.  Read my review of that movie here, and then watch it for free by clicking here.

 

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Cropsey1

 

Every little kid knows the bogeyman.  The bogeyman hides in the bedroom closet, or lurks on the floor beneath the bed.  Fortunately, most kids grow up and find out who the real scary people are:  math teachers and driving instructors.  But for documentarians Joshua Zeman and Barbara Brancaccio, both of whom grew up on New York’s Staten Island, the bogeyman never really went away.  He is, apparently, still haunting them.

Zeman and Brancaccio wrote and directed Cropsey, a documentary about child abductions and the alleged, real-life bogeyman behind them.  The filmmakers grew up in the 1980s during what surely must have been a nightmare-come-true for Staten Island parents:  Children kept disappearing, and one of them was found dead and buried near the site of an abandoned mental hospital.  Suspicion fell on a middle-aged drifter named Andre Rand, and this pathetic outcast became the borough’s “Cropsey” (a Hudson Valley nickname for any ax-wielding bogeyman) as related in this creepy – yet ultimately unsatisfying – movie.

I call it unsatisfying because, try though they might, Zeman and Brancaccio never get past gossip, rumor, and speculation regarding the decades-old disappearance of five children on the New York island.  Rand was eventually convicted of kidnapping two of the kids, though he never confessed to their killings, and no additional bodies were ever recovered.  This lack of hard evidence forces Zeman and Brancaccio to venture all sorts of hypotheses, including:  Rand, who once worked as an attendant at the notorious Willowbrook mental institution, was seeking to rid the world of mentally disabled children;  Rand was under the influence of a devil-worshipping cult, which roamed a network of subterranean tunnels beneath the ruins of Willowbrook.

There are no revelations from Rand, no interviews with him, but instead lots of wide-eyed theories posited by regular folk and authorities.   But all of this speculation – from police, citizens, reporters, “experts” – has no payoff.  Rand remains in prison, possibly guilty, possibly the scapegoat of a fearful, ignorant community.  This ambiguity kills Cropsey, rendering it just a big-screen version of Dateline NBC when the film’s focus shifts from horror to courtroom politics.

Unfortunately for Zeman and Brancaccio, their bogeyman stayed in the bedroom closet … when they really needed him to come out.          Grade:  C-

 

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Directors:  Joshua Zeman, Barbara Brancaccio  Featuring:  Donna Cutugno, Karen Schweiger, David Novarro, Ralph Aquino  Release:  2009

 

Watch Trailers (click here)

 

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  Special K Week: 

The Kindle and Killing Kim Kardashian

 

Kardashians

 

One nice thing about getting older is that you tend to miss out on what’s trendy — unless you accidentally stumble onto it.  Such was the case the other night when I happened upon Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

I don’t live in Botswana, so of course I had heard of these idiots, but I’d never actually watched their show, which apparently has been fouling the airwaves since 2007.  My impressions:

1)  What the hell happened to Bruce Jenner’s face?

2)  That Kim is a cutie.

3)  The mother, Kris Jenner, is a glorified pimp.

4)  Somebody needs to … kill the Kardashians!  I cannot see the teensiest benefit to our sharing the planet with them.

 

*****

 

Kindle

 

The Kindle

 

Amazon lowered the price of its e-reader, the Kindle, so I broke down and bought one.  My thoughts:

 

Cons:

1)  Stephen King wrote his own appraisal of the Kindle, in which he quoted Gertrude Stein’s observation about her childhood home in Oakland:  “There is no there, there.”  After using the Kindle, I know what that means.  It’s just an eerie sensation to realize that you cannot rifle through pages.  And it sucks if you are on, say, page 78 and want to go back and read something on page 39.  To do that, you must laboriously tap back 39 times for 39 pages.  Very time-consuming — especially if you get to page 39 and then realize that what you’re looking for is actually on page 59.  Tap, tap, tap ….

2)  No color, and the graphics can suck.  I read The Passage on my Kindle and there was a map in the book.  But because the Kindle’s screen is so small (six-inch reading area), there was no way to get a satisfactory view of it.

3)  The Web browser is slow and has a primitive display.  The audio voices sound like Robby the Robot reciting Shakespeare in Pig Latin.

 

Pros:

1)  The light weight (8.7 ounces).  There is something to be said for a device that lets you read War and Peace or Moby Dick with your left hand while you eat, drink, smoke, or play with yourself with your right hand.

2)  Free public-domain books.  Within seconds, I downloaded books by Jane Austen, Mary Roberts Rinehart, Charles Dickens, and George Bernard Shaw.  It was like checking out library books without leaving my bed.

3)  The instant dictionary.  It’s sweet to simply highlight “repudiate” and instantly have a definition at the bottom of the screen.

 

Irrelevancies:

1)  Amazon hypes the fact that you can store up to 3,500 books on the Kindle.  Nice, but do you really expect to live long enough to read 3,500 books on your Kindle?

2)  A glare-free screen that allows you to read in sunshine.  OK, but I can also do that with a paperback.

3)  Download new books from the Amazon store in 60 seconds.  Rarely do I need a book in 60 seconds.  Sometimes a drink, yes.  Besides, I enjoy browsing at real bookstores.

 

 

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Orient1

 

The World of Henry Orient is a small movie that begins as a silly romp about two teen girls infatuated with a zany pianist, and then — thanks to a pair of adult actors at the top of their game — becomes something much better:  a quietly powerful story about growing up.

Despite the title, The World of Henry Orient is initially a world belonging to New York City girls Marian and Valarie.  Marian (Merrie Spaeth) is a child of divorce who lives with her mother and a friend of the family.  Valarie (Tippy Walker) is a child prodigy who rarely sees her own parents, wealthy globetrotters who visit their daughter only when it’s convenient.  When Marian and Valarie hook up at a private school, they concoct a childish obsession:  the stalking of Henry Orient (Peter Sellers), a cowardly lothario from the Bronx with uptown aspirations and a bogus, continental accent.

Sellers, riding high in 1964 with The Pink Panther and Dr. Strangelove on his resume, does his deadpan shtick in this film and is, as always, amusing.  Walker and Spaeth have winning personalities and, although I confess there were times I felt I was watching two novice actors attempting to act, their enthusiasm is infectious.

But something near-miraculous occurs in the film at its midpoint, and this is largely thanks to a pair of consummate actors who turn a frivolous comedy into something sad, powerful, and utterly wonderful.  Tom Bosley and Angela Lansbury, as Valarie’s absentee parents, command the screen, Lansbury as a self-centered socialite and lousy mother, and Bosley in a precursor to his Happy Days role on TV —  the perfect Dad.  Bosley, in particular, has a scene with Walker that is heartbreaking, uplifting, and emblematic of why this little gem from 1964 still sparkles.      Grade:  A-

 

Orient2

 

Director:  George Roy Hill  Cast:  Peter Sellers, Paula Prentiss, Angela Lansbury, Tom Bosley, Phyllis Thaxter, Bibi Osterwald, Merrie Spaeth, Tippy Walker  Release:  1964

 

Orient3     Orient4

                                              Watch the Trailer (click here)

 

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by Justin Cronin 

Passage1

 

The Passage is the literary equivalent of a Hollywood summer blockbuster:  all bluster and special effects, no substance.  Justin Cronin’s vampire saga is a pretentious, derivative, colossal waste of time.  Did I mention that I hated this book?  Actually, The Passage is worse than a shallow film like, say Avatar, because Cronin’s tripe is littered with self-important religious allusions, quotations from Shakespeare — and it takes longer than two hours to finish.

So what, exactly, are my problems with this book?  Start with the characters, with whom the reader has to spend way too much time.  These are cardboard people.  Two of the main characters, Peter and Michael, are virtually indistinguishable.  One of them is handy with engines and computers; other than that, I could rarely tell them apart.  Cronin’s political correctness is gag-inducing – all of his female characters are saintly or indestructible.  In fact, one of them actually turns into a superhero.  Conversely, the males are all either deeply flawed or ineffectual. Spending hundreds of pages with these people is worse than becoming undead. 

What’s worse is the novel’s plot.  Even in the fantasy genre, an author must set ground rules and then follow them.  Cronin’s vampires are sometimes omnipotent, sometimes not, depending on what his plot calls for.  Heroes are routinely killed off and then miraculously resurrected.  This kind of cheating goes on ad nauseam.

Was there anything I liked about The Passage?  The attack scenes are not bad.  Cronin stages some tense, nasty battles between his dullard protagonists and the “smokes.”  But those scenes are too few to overcome all the tedious exposition that surrounds them.  The Passage is a Stephen King wannabe and should be burned at the stake.

 

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Rescue1

 

There was a scene in last night’s episode of Rescue Me in which firefighter Tommy Gavin, alone in the men’s room at the fire station, discovers to his hung-over horror that he is wearing a woman’s thong.  Too much booze the night before, and so he has no idea how this came to be.  As he gapes at his thong-clad derriere in a bathroom mirror, the deputy chief walks in.  The chief glances at Tommy, opens his mouth to say something … then turns and walks quietly out the door.  It’s a funny, funny bit.

 

Rescue2

 

It’s this kind of scene that makes Denis Leary’s Rescue Me such a comic delight.  What makes it must-see TV is the show’s mixture of that kind of silliness with high drama.  Alcoholic Tommy will go straight from that restroom into some corridor of hell, whether that means a burning building, his estranged family, or his high-maintenance lover.

 

Rescue3

Callie Thorne

 

John Scurti

 

Rescue5

Andrea Roth

 

Rescue Me is entering its sixth season on FX just as Louis C.K.’s new series Louie joins the network’s Tuesday-night lineup.  Between the two of them, Leary and Louis have turned Tuesdays into the only night when I go out of my way to watch scripted television.  These two middle-aged guys, both with roots in standup comedy, are at the peak of their game.  They created their own series, star in them and, in Louis’s case, also direct and write.

 

Louie1

 

So far, Louie has been a hit-or-miss affair.  Some of the segments fall flat, but when the show scores, it really scores.  C.K., like that fire chief on Rescue Me, is a master of the silent reaction.  It’s not what he says that slays me, it’s the look on his pasty face — a double-take, a raised eyebrow, simple deadpan — when life throws yet another absurdity at him.

 

Louie2

Louis C.K. and Ricky Gervais

 

Back in the ’90s, NBC had what it called “Must See TV.”  NBC’s hubris bothered me, so I decided that I Must Not Watch.  And I didn’t.  But now I have my own Must See TV, Tuesday nights on FX.

 


Rescue Me  (click here)  

Louie  (click here)

 

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Boy1

 

It’s hard to say who might be more offended by the cult classic A Boy and His Dog:  feminists, the citizens of Topeka, Kansas, or sperm banks.  I’d vote for sperm banks, because institutions generally have little or no sense of humor.

The genesis of this low-budget oddity is a Harlan Ellison novella, which tells the story of Vic (the boy) and Blood (the dog), two roving souls in post-apocalyptic America, circa 2024.  Vic (Don Johnson) is the dumb one, a hormonal homeboy who at least has sense enough to recognize the “smart” one:  Blood.  The dog, for some unexplained reason, has developed an ability to communicate telepathically, which he uses to deliver some wickedly funny one-liners (particularly the last line of the film).  Blood also boasts more mundane dog skills, such as sniffing out scarce food — and even scarcer human females.

When Vic is seduced by a female recruiter from the (literal) underworld, our scruffy heroes are given a choice:  remain above ground, where vicious bands of males fight for food and women, or follow Quilla June Holmes (Susanne Benton) to the land down under.  Vic wants to go with his new girlfriend; Blood does not.  I mentioned which of the two of them was smart, didn’t I?

Ellison’s story posits some interesting questions.  Is it better to live free but among savages (the “natural” state), or in a society where everyone must conform or face dire consequences for “lack of respect, wrong attitude, [and] failure to obey authority”?  In the world portrayed by A Boy and His Dog, this is not an appetizing choice.

But if Boy is infamous, it’s not because of any social questions it raises; it’s because of its notorious ending, in which Blood proves to be “man’s” best friend, indeed.  Is the ending misogynistic?  Is the entire movie misogynistic?  I’d say yes, but then I’d be like that sperm bank and totally devoid of a sense of humor.  Perhaps it’s just a matter of taste.       Grade:  B

 

Boy2

 

Director:  L.Q. Jones  Cast:  Don Johnson, Susanne Benton, Jason Robards, Tim McIntire, Alvy Moore, Helene Winston, Charles McGraw, Hal Baylor  Release:  1975

 

Boy3

 

                   Boy4           Watch Trailers (click here)   

 

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Troll2

 

A new documentary called Best Worst Movie just opened at art-house cinemas.  It is a look at the making of 1990’s Troll 2, a movie reputedly so bad that it is rivaling Plan 9 from Outer Space for the crown of Worst Movie Ever Made.  I have not seen this documentary, although it’s generating positive reviews.  That’s more than can be said for its inspiration, which you can watch for free by clicking here.

 

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