by Janet Evanovich
Reading an Evanovich “Stephanie Plum” novel is a bit like watching an episode of I Love Lucy. Everyone is silly and everything is far-fetched – and yet it’s often quite amusing. Evanovich goes all supernatural on us in her “between-the-numbers” books, including this one, which makes the proceedings in Plum Spooky even more ridiculous than usual.
© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Now that the U.S. Supreme Court has declared that corporations are people and money is speech, I think it’s pretty obvious what needs to be done this November. We need to elect an ATM as our next president. Think about it: ATMs are as American as apple pie and, just like the country they serve, they are often out of cash.
*****
The reviews are in for Mirror Mirror, and many of them stress that the Julia Roberts movie is ideal “for kids of any age.” Whenever I read that claim, I interpret it as code for: “This is a kiddie movie; adults should run for the hills.”
*****
This new ad from the Republicans, in which Obama is compared to 007 himself, James Bond … I can see it backfiring on the GOP. Wouldn’t we all prefer to have Mr. License to Kill in charge, rather than some guy who needs help keeping his balance on a chair?
Then again, a car elevator does seem like a gadget that Bond would endorse.
*****
Starbucks is feeding ground-up insects to customers. I never go to Starbucks, so this doesn’t bug me.
*****
The honchos at Starz have noticed the success that HBO and Showtime are having with original programming. Starz would like to have its own hit shows, so Starz introduced Magic City, a new series about the Miami crime scene, circa 1959. In case you missed the premiere, I watched it for you. This picture pretty much sums up what you missed:
If you are nice, I’ll summarize future episodes of the show, as well. It’s a tough job, but somebody ….
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At one point in The Ghost Breakers, a 1940 Bob Hope vehicle that features zombies in the Caribbean, a man explains to Hope the perils of voodoo:
Man: “It’s worse than horrible, because a zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes, walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.”
Hope: “You mean like Democrats?”
In hindsight, and with an awareness of Hope’s ultra-conservative, hawkish politics, that line might raise a few hackles with certain members of the audience. Ditto for the womanizing comedian’s frequent quips about redheads and brunettes, and his mental undressing of co-star Paulette Goddard (who, incidentally, does pop up frequently in various stages of undress).
But that line about the Democrats, no matter what your political leanings, is still funny and is delivered with impeccable timing — a big reason why Hope’s early films for Paramount are so entertaining.
Hope plays Larry Lawrence, a radio personality who winds up stuffed in a trunk aboard a ship bound for Cuba. The trunk belongs to Goddard, and together the pair investigates her inheritance: a haunted mansion on “Black Island.”
By today’s standards, much of the movie is politically incorrect. People smoke cigarettes (gasp!). Hope makes sexist comments. Willie Best, mumbling and shuffling as Alex, Hope’s black valet, is unquestionably a stereotype. But his performance is still hilarious.
The Ghost Breakers is a modest production with big bonuses. There are wonderfully atmospheric sets. Hope’s false bravado was never more amusing than it is in this film, and he and Best make delightful comic foils. The movie succeeds at something oft tried, but rarely accomplished: It’s the perfect blend of creepy chills and genuine laughs. Grade: B+
Director: George Marshall Cast: Bob Hope, Paulette Goddard, Richard Carlson, Paul Lukas, Willie Best, Pedro de Cordoba, Virginia Brissac, Noble Johnson, Anthony Quinn, Tom Dugan Release: 1940
Watch the Trailer (click here)
© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
It’s a bit jarring to watch William Powell play a suave detective – but without Myrna Loy, and cheating on Asta with some cute little Scottish terrier. Actually, Powell had made four “Philo Vance” mysteries before he joined Loy and Asta in The Thin Man. Check out one of the better Vance installments by clicking here.
© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Jennifer Lawrence made the talk-show rounds this week, promoting The Hunger Games. She was on Letterman and Fallon and … I like this chick. She isn’t “starlet charming” or “sexpot charming,” just salt-of-the-earth, self-deprecating charming. We’ll see if it lasts.
*****
Best Hollywood News This Week:
No, it’s not the premiere of The Hunger Games. It’s the announcement by Disney that it expects to lose $200 million on the epic bomb, John Carter. Could this mean that Hollywood will finally stop churning out special-effects-laden, comic-book/superhero crap aimed at teenagers? I’m not going to hold my breath.
*****
Ten Free TV Shows I Go Out of My Way to Watch:
*****
Quote of the Week: “I didn’t know what she was going to do, and then the bear bit me in my butt.” — Florida resident Terri Gurley, who encountered a 300-pound black bear at her apartment complex.
*****
President Obama is a fan of the Showtime series Homeland. It is a good show. However …
© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
by Ross Macdonald
As I was reading this mystery, I was reminded of a Hollywood legend about the movie script for another classic detective story, Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep. Supposedly, the novel’s plot was so convoluted that at one point the screenwriters contacted Chandler to ask him who was responsible for the death of one character. “They sent me a wire,” Chandler later said, “asking me, and dammit I didn’t know either.” The Chill, in which Southern California detective Lew Archer attempts to solve several murders, is all plot, plot, plot – but Macdonald’s dialogue is snappy, his action is fast-paced, and his characters are colorful. Best of all, the denouement features a wonderful twist – and it doesn’t cheat.
© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
“Oki … you okay?”
So asks a young student of his classmate, Oki, who is staggering and stumbling down a woodlands footpath. No, Oki is most likely not okay, because we can see that Oki is bleeding profusely from a hatchet that’s embedded in the top of his skull. This encounter between two friends in the Japanese cult film Battle Royale sums up my feelings about the entire movie. Watchable but brain-dead.
Battle Royale, beloved by many young people and a precursor to this week’s much-hyped The Hunger Games, exhibits the same traits as do a lot of teenagers: It’s full of nonsense and energy, but man, does it take itself seriously.
If you are at all familiar with Lord of the Flies, The Most Dangerous Game, or any of several Stephen King books, then you already know the plot. In the near future, a small group of people (in this case, ninth-grade students) are stranded on an island and pitted against each other in a deadly game of survival. But unlike, say, Lord of the Flies, there is no gradual descent into barbarity; these kids are instantly good or instantly bad. The movie doesn’t want to waste time on character development, not when there are so many heads to cut off.
This is the type of film in which people, most of them gangly teens, are shot multiple times but keep getting up to fight again. And again. I suppose that if you can just turn your brain off, it’s also the type of film you might enjoy.
The movie is a good fit for teens because it feeds fantasies in which 1) adults are evil and out to get youngsters; 2) there is a girl/guy of their dreams out there, somewhere, if only he/she can find her/him; and 3) it’s packed with gory, frenetic, nonsensical action. For what it is, Battle Royale is well done. But let’s hope that The Hunger Games appeals to more than teen fantasies. Grade: C+
Director: Kinji Fukasaku Cast: Tatsuya Fujiwara, Aki Maeda, Taro Yamamoto, Kou Shibasaki, Masanobu Ando, Chiaki Kuriyama, Takeshi Kitano Release: 2000
Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)
© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
The Outlaw is one of those Hollywood curiosities with a background more intriguing than the movie itself. Oddball billionaire Howard Hughes produced and directed it. The film drew controversy because of the camera’s – or rather, Hughes’s – obsession with star Jane Russell’s cleavage. And yet the movie gets a high rating at Rotten Tomatoes and, according to Leonard Maltin, this “notorious ‘sex western’ is actually compelling.” Watch it for free by clicking here.
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My thoughts about the above picture — when I’m in a good mood:
If ever a guy was entitled to a little fun, it’s the hardworking president of the United States, who took British Prime Minister David Cameron aboard Air Force One and flew to Ohio for a college basketball game. How cool was that?
My thoughts about the above picture — when I’m in a bad mood:
What an incredible display of bad taste. In the midst of high unemployment and rising gas prices, Obama makes a conspicuous show of energy consumption so that he and Cameron can enjoy a “boys’ night out,” a “one-percenter” luxury courtesy of beleaguered taxpayers.
*****
I took a cab the other day and the cabbie and I admired his GPS device. I don’t have a GPS device, and that’s fine by me. Some of my best stories come from times I got hopelessly lost. I’d hate to see that come to an end. Then again, I don’t drive a taxi.
*****
You know that your days are numbered in the school cafeteria when you are commonly referred to as “pink slime.”
*****
Terry Bradshaw tells us that before he and Nutrisystem found each other, “I was tired of looking old, fat and ugly.” Dude, you might not look fat anymore, but ….
*****
I can’t recall a time when the top ten movies at the box office were all deemed “rotten” at Rotten Tomatoes.
*****
I keep hearing about “gaffes” made by Republican candidates. But are they really gaffes? Here are examples of gaffes, according to my dictionary:
A gaffe is unintentional, not a deliberate statement that backfires on you.
© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
by Mel Ayton
True-crime books can be literary gems, like In Cold Blood and The Executioner’s Song. Or they can be luridly entertaining, like The Stranger Beside Me and Deadly Innocence. Unfortunately, true-crime books can also be plodding and dull, which brings me to Dark Soul of the South, historian Mel Ayton’s bland chronicle of Joseph Paul Franklin, the racist sniper who shot Larry Flynt and Vernon Jordan. Serial-killer biographies like this one are inherently unpleasant; they require a gifted writer to keep the reader absorbed, but Ayton’s workmanlike approach is only mildly engaging.
As a side note, do book publishers no longer hire editors and proofreaders? The level of sloppiness in this book is embarrassing.
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