The Grouchy Editor

Anderson Cooper, above left, finally came out of the closet and, with any luck, that will be the end of it.  I don’t think I can stomach it if Cooper decides to pull a Don Lemon (above right), bouncing excitedly from talk show to talk show, rejoicing in his gayness.  Lemon’s embarrassing display reminded me of Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch, declaring his love for Katie Holmes.

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Speaking of Tom and Katie … Us Weekly reports that “Cruise refused to let Holmes sign on for films with ‘sexually compromising scenes, largely because the Scientology folks objected.’”  I wonder what Tom and his nutball pals think of Katie’s topless appearance in The Gift.  Here is a picture from that movie, just to piss off the Scientologists:

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Lots of nostalgia this week about The Andy Griffith Show, and I feel certain that none of us will ever forget Andy’s finest moment on the big screen — the blowjob scene from 2009’s Play the Game (above).

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“Scientists are excited” … but nobody else is.  For a bunch of smart people, these scientists never seem to get it.  They don’t (or won’t) understand that every time they discover a smaller particle, a farther galaxy, a funkier theory, they still can’t answer the only question that really interests most of us:  What (or who) began everything?

It doesn’t help when scientists like Michio Kaku (above), the Asian dude who pops up everywhere, talk down to the public as if we are third-graders.  There’s a difference between making science accessible and being condescending.

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Quote of the Week

“And a tragedy on the president’s bus tour.  A woman dies just an hour and a half after the president eats at her restaurant.” — Wolf Blitzer on CNN.  Sad news, but I suppose it’s better than the president dying just an hour and a half after eating at her restaurant.

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And finally, here is Katie again, just to piss off the Scientologists:

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News Nincompoops

I tuned in Thursday for the Supreme Court’s big decision on Obamacare.  Little did I know, Aaron Sorkin had written scripts for all three of the cable-news networks.

9:10 —  CNN’s Kate Bolduan (above right) reported that the Supremes had struck down the act’s individual mandate.  Wolf Blitzer (above left) said that this was a tremendous blow for Obama.

9:10 — I flipped over to MSNBC, where the anchor was announcing a huge victory for Obama.   I flipped back to CNN.

Bolduan:  “So it appears as if the Supreme Court justices have struck down the individual mandate, the centerpiece of the health care legislation.”

Blitzer:  “What a setback … for the president, for the Democrats, those who supported this health care law.”

9:30 — Blitzer:  “This is a huge, huge win for the Obama administration.”

Not to be outdone by CNN, Fox News also screwed up the story — but in a fair and balanced way.

Thursday afternoon — Jeffrey Toobin (above) made excuses for CNN’s boner:  “Five minutes into Chief Justice Roberts’s opinion, [if] you would have asked anyone in that room whether this law was going to be held unconstitutional, I think we all would have said yes.”

Toobin must have been busy watching baseball on his laptop again, because no one at MSNBC said “yes.”

But MSNBC was hardly exempt from brain farts.  Chuck Todd (above) on Friday posed this question to Tom Brokaw:  “The legacy of  John Roberts now, will it always be this decision?  Until, of course, the next big decision?”

Meanwhile, over at HLN …

Certified lunatic Nancy Grace on Tuesday not once, but twice told viewers that a man had thrown his wife out of a car “on a high-speed Internet.”

That kind of thing never happens with dial-up.

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I’ve pouted that Entertainment Weekly doesn’t seem to care about me.  The magazine’s covers seem designed for gays, women, and teens, not necessarily in that order.  But not this week.  With Howard Stern (America’s Got Talent) and Charlie Sheen (Anger Management) both selling out to crap TV shows, at least we boorish, heterosexual males have one hero left (above).

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Contrary Opinion of the Week

There’s always at least one issue that pits me against 99.9 percent of the population.  This week, it’s the country’s over-the-top support for 68-year-old Karen Klein (above), the school-bus monitor who was harassed by teenage boys.  Yes, the boys’ behavior was inexcusable, and yes, they should be punished.  But if your job title is “school-bus monitor,” shouldn’t you be able to do a bit more than sit there like a bump on a log when the kids go nuts?

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“If you don’t like vaginas, this is not your TV show.” — Lawrence O’Donnell on his Monday show.

“We’ve got profanity and nudity, coming up.” — Lawrence O’Donnell on his Thursday show.

Someone at MSNBC must be urging Lawrence to boost his ratings.

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Perhaps we should rethink our system for naming hurricanes and storms.  “Tropical Storm Debby” fails to instill alarm in me.  It sounds too much like a giant cupcake spreading sweetness and joy along the coast.

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AMC’s The Killing took way too long to wrap up its whodunit, but, I’ll have to say, Sunday’s finale was wham-bam satisfying.

AMC is unsurpassed at sucking in fans, pissing them off, and then wooing them back.  You like Mad Men?  AMC will take it off the air for more than a year.  You a fan of The Killing?  AMC will frustrate you for a full year.  You watched Rubicon?  AMC enticed us with one brain-teasing puzzle after another on that show … and then cancelled it without resolving a thing.  Enjoy The Walking Dead?  AMC will put you to sleep for half a season … and then dish up a dynamic conclusion.

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Lawrence O’Donnell isn’t the only one at MSNBC using sex to sell a show.  The network announced a new roundtable series called The Cycle, to be co-hosted by male models and women who got leg.   However …

“Dear MSNBC:

Your show will not work with just pretty people.  You also need a Bob Beckel or a Joy Behar to keep things real.

Sincerely,

The Viewer”

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Isn’t it time to banish the term, “of course”?  If something is so obvious that you feel the need to preface it with “of course,” is the qualifier really needed?  Of course not.

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The U.S. Supreme Court wrote an opinion this week about a woman’s buttocks that was shown on network TV.  The Supreme Court was in favor of the buttocks.  In honor of that ruling, here is a gratuitous shot of actress Gemma Arterton’s buttocks:

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The Supreme Court said nothing about the debut of Shia LaBeouf’s penis in an online music video by Sigur Ros.  We can only assume that the justices were left speechless — not by Shia’s le beef, but by his appearance in pantyhose and a feather boa.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)