Maybe you haven’t seen Louis C.K. in his FX series, or on the talk-show circuit. But maybe you’ve heard of him. Here’s a chance to see the grumpy comedian in a 2008 concert, just before he (kinda, sorta) hit the big-time. Click here to watch his hour-long performance free of charge.
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It’s August and the country is entering the home stretch of the 2012 presidential election. We are being bombarded with vicious political sniping and snapping — and that’s just among cable-news anchors.
As things get even more foul-tempered on our way to November, this Grouch needed a break from politics. So thank you, Sight & Sound, for choosing this week to announce your new list of “the greatest movies of all time.”
Wisconsin’s favorite fat man, Orson Welles, has been dethroned by England’s favorite fat man, Alfred Hitchcock, at the top of the list, which is a poll of international film critics that Sight & Sound conducts every ten years. But is top-pick Vertigo really Hitchcock’s crown jewel?
I made my own list of the master’s five best movies. My criterion was simple if unoriginal: I imagined that I was stuck on the proverbial desert island, along with a video player and five Hitchcock flicks. Which five do I choose, and in what order?
North by Northwest It was a tossup between this Cary Grant classic and the more somber Vertigo, but I figured that if I am stuck on an island, then I am a very depressed puppy, and I would prefer a comic thriller to a drama about a sexually screwed-up cop.
If you enjoy today’s Bourne and Mission Impossible movies, you can thank Hitchcock, because this 1959 thrill ride inspired the James Bond movies, which in turn led to the Matt Damon and Tom Cruise vehicles.
*****
Vertigo Earlier this year, Vertigo star Kim Novak made news when she expressed displeasure that The Artist had “borrowed” composer Bernard Herrmann’s score from this 1958 gem. I think she should have considered it a compliment. There was no better director-musician combo at work in the 1950s than Hitchcock-Herrmann, and Vertigo might be their best collaboration. Oh … and the rest of the movie ain’t exactly chopped liver.
*****
Rear Window When you think about it, the people in this near-perfect movie do some awfully peculiar things. Middle-aged Jimmy Stewart, confined by a broken leg to a wheelchair, treats gorgeous Grace Kelly as if she is Thelma Ritter. I take that back, because he is actually nicer to Thelma: He allows her to give him back rubs. Meanwhile, across the courtyard, gay actor Raymond Burr spends much of the film dressed like a slob and behaving like most heterosexual men: bickering with his wife. At least the dog is normal.
*****
Psycho Frankly, I’m a little tired of this film. That’s not a knock on the movie; I’ve simply seen it too many times over the years. So I suppose if I’m really stranded on a desert island, I’d skip this shocker, just because I know it too well. So let’s pretend that you are the person stuck on that island, and you’ve never seen Psycho. It should be fourth on your list.
*****
And finally … The Birds? Frenzy? Notorious? Strangers on a Train? Regretfully, I will have to pick Lifeboat. After all, I need something to get me off that damned island.
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Hachi: A Dog’s Tale If you’re not an animal lover, the first hour of this little-seen tearjerker about a man and his dog might seem an interminable bore because, other than scenes of Richard Gere playing with a furry little critter (stop it; I know what you’re thinking), not much happens. But if you do have a soft spot for pets, the last 30 minutes of this film … sorry, I have to go find some tissues now. Release: 2009 Grade: B+
*****
M The opening half of Austrian director Fritz Lang’s first talkie hasn’t aged particularly well — too much police procedural and a lack of interesting characters — but stay tuned for part two, in which bug-eyed Peter Lorre gives a performance that is absolutely riveting. Lorre plays Beckert, an androgynous pedophile who terrorizes Berlin with a series of child murders. The hunting of Beckert, Lorre’s deer-in-the-headlights flight, and his “trial” by the city’s underworld are the stuff of cinema legend. Release: 1931 Grade: A-
*****
The Divide Tenants take refuge in the basement of an apartment building when a nuclear bomb levels their city — and that’s just the beginning of their ordeal. Stretches of the film are like a nightmare: surreal and unsettling, but also absorbing. The Divide’s downfall is a screenplay with characters who are all unpleasant or bland, and a plot that degenerates into one disturbing scene of human depravity after another. Release: 2012 Grade: C
*****
My Life as a Dog Life is tough for 12-year-old Ingemar in 1959 Sweden, but the kid’s pain is our gain in this charming comedy-drama. Director Lasse Hallstrom finds the perfect emotional balance as he depicts the early adolescence of Ingemar, who is shuffled from one home to another when his terminally ill mother can no longer care for him and his brother. If that sounds maudlin, not to worry. The oddball characters Ingemar meets — and some marvelous acting — lift this movie out of the doldrums and into the realm of coming-of-age classics. Release: 1985 Grade: A-
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An unsung little thriller that I discovered a few years ago. Three people are trapped in a swamp by a hungry crocodile. That’s the plot – simple, but hey, so was Jaws. Watch it for free by clicking here, or read my review by clicking here.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Olympics coverage is less than a day old, and already I’m tired of Michael Phelps. If they gave out gold medals for ugly ….
*****
Quotes of the Week:
“I think what we’re seeing here is the danger of people who don’t know what they’re talking about, talking about things.”
and …
“I should point out: None of us are qualified to talk about anything. Anything.” — Andy Levy (above) during his “halftime report” on Fox’s Red Eye.
*****
Fox courter jester Greg Gutfeld chose Wednesday to brown-nose his leggy co-host on The Five, air-headed lawyer Kimberly Guilfoyle:
“When you talk about this stuff, it’s important, because you are in the legal field and you know what you’re talking about.”
Strange. Barack Obama is a law professor, but I never hear Gutfeld deferring to him. Also, see Andy Levy comments, above.
*****
Erin Burnett’s phone conversation with Islamic military leader Omar Hamaha:
Hamaha: Yes, this is Omar. Hello?
Burnett: Hello. Hello.
Hamaha: Yes, what do you want?
Burnett: Good morning. Good morning. Do you speak English?
Hamaha: No, no. French is it.
Burnett: No, no. I have — I have some help. Yes, can you ask him, are they, are they hurting people?
Hamaha: Listen, speak in French. No, no. Listen, I do not speak to a woman. If you would like to speak to me, give me a man. It is necessary to respect our religion. We are — we do not speak to women. Do you hear me?
Burnett: CNN, Erin. Hello, Omar? Omar?
Only in a Muslim country like Mali would a man hang up on a hottie like Erin Burnett.
My apologies. That is not a picture of Erin Burnett. That is a picture of Erin’s co-worker at CNN, Brooke Baldwin. I suppose I should remove that picture, but for some reason I don’t want to. Here is a picture of Erin Burnett:
*****
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My name is Grouchy, and I am a politics junkie. My pusher is the media, and my enabler is cable news. If you tell me that you’ve got a political movie starring Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei and Paul Giamatti … I am there. I mean, I was a big fan of The West Wing — weren’t you?
Alas, watching The Ides of March is more like watching an energy debate on C-SPAN. It feeds the junkie’s habit, but that’s about it.
Gosling stars as Stephen, a hotshot campaign manager who, during a crucial Democratic primary in Ohio, uncovers political dirt that threatens his ideals and career. And therein lies the problem with The Ides of March. Gosling, attractive and talented as he may be, is not very convincing as some babe in the political woods; he’s too old and too savvy to be shocked or disillusioned by the antics of men in power.
Then, too, the screenplay itself (co-written by Clooney) seems about 20 years behind the times. In this age of Internet blogs and cable-news gossip, it takes a lot to shock an audience. So why are so many of the characters in this movie knocked off their feet by the plot’s “scandals”? And I’m not referring solely to an unsavory sex revelation.
Clooney could have used West Wing’s Aaron Sorkin to punch up his dialogue. Consider this line from Evan Rachel Wood to Gosling, which is supposed to represent flirtation:
Wood: “You’re the big man on campus. I’m just a lowly intern.”
Or this exchange between Gosling and Tomei, the latter playing a print journalist:
Tomei: “You met with Duffy.”
Gosling: “Who told you that?”
Tomei: “A little bird.”
And this bon mot tossed off by Hoffman, rising from his chair after a confab with colleagues: “And on that note, I’m gonna take a shit.”
Somewhere, Sorkin is rolling over in his HBO money.
The movie is watchable because Clooney gets some real juice out of the other actors, especially Giamatti. And, speaking as a politics junkie, it’s amusing to see the liberal Clooney make a film about Democrats who project the exact opposite of “hope and change.” And on that note, I’m gonna– Grade: B
Director: George Clooney Cast: Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Evan Rachel Wood, Marisa Tomei, Jeffrey Wright, Max Minghella, Jennifer Ehle Release: 2011
Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)
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I’m not a huge fan of Batman chronicler Christopher Nolan; I think his films tend to be too clever for their own good. But lord knows the man has his fans. If you’re one of them, click here to see the movie that put Nolan on the map. You’ll have to register with Hulu, but it’s free and, seriously now, have you got anything better to do?
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Asswipes of the Week:
All major media that practice “quote approval,” in which politicians are allowed to doctor and sanitize news stories before publication.
This should be a huge story but, unsurprisingly, the media are downplaying it. The Huffington Post calls it a “kerfuffle.” You know, no more serious than two neighbors squabbling over the height of some shrubs. But man … when “reputable” news organizations including the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Vanity Fair, The Huffington Post, and The Washington Post all admit to deliberately misleading the public, that’s not a “kerfuffle,” that’s a genuine scandal.
*****
The hullaballoo over Olympic uniforms, on the other hand, is a kerfuffle. It’s a minor scandal that generated more emotion from Harry Reid (above) than I’ve ever seen from the man. What a ridiculous thing to get upset about.
*****
Approximately 90 people die every day in U. S. traffic accidents. Twelve people died Friday at a Batman movie in Colorado and, as usual, cable-news talking heads sunk to the occasion. Some lowlights:
Bill O’Reilly used the tragedy to rail against … the high cost of babysitters! This economic outrage, propagated by the lowest of the lowly 99 percent, is the reason that some couples took their infants to the PG-13, violence-laden movie, O’Reilly surmised. Gotta hand it to Bill: He’s the go-to-guy when you want to grasp the big picture.
Meanwhile, over at HLN, Dr. Drew anointed “heroes” of the movie-house massacre — even though most of the theatergoers were nothing more than “victims.” Or “survivors.”
And then there was Rush Limbaugh (below), who earlier in the week had dubbed fans of the superhero movie “brain-dead people.” In retrospect, an unfortunate word choice.
*****
Is this a great country, or what? (Part One)
Is this a great country, or what? (Part Two)
*****
Michele Bachmann, apparently upset over her recent lack of media exposure, is on a crusade to rid our country of evil Muslim extremists, a threat that Bachmann says has achieved “deep penetration” of the halls of government. Some jerk seized on her quote:
*****
Penn State, debating whether or not to remove a statue of pedophile-enabler Joe Paterno, is obviously not serious about atoning for its role in the child-molestation scandal. This should be a no-brainer: Tear down the stupid statue and abolish your football program, pronto. Anything short of that, and your “apology” is bogus.
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Stephen King got mixed results when he chose to infuse life into inanimate objects. In Insomnia, King created a pair of singing tennis shoes. That was … interesting. King had better luck with a 1958 Plymouth Fury, otherwise known as “Christine.” Watch it – or her – for free by clicking here.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
*****
The Five celebrated its one-year anniversary. At the end of Wednesday’s edition, discussion turned to Howard Stern’s admiration for the women who occupy the show’s “legs” chair. I notice that Dana Perino (above) never sits in that chair. I imagine that’s because she wants to be taken seriously. But she was Bush’s press secretary, so how could anyone do that?
*****
I try to avoid Piers Morgan and his brown-nosing celebrity interviews, but on Wednesday I was afraid actor Robert Blake (top and above) might pull a snub-nosed revolver on poor Piers. I am of two minds about this kind of interview. On the one hand, it can be riveting stuff. On the other hand, I can picture Morgan’s staff sitting around and thinking, “If we can just book more people with mental illness, like Robert Blake, our ratings will skyrocket.”
Perhaps Piers should book actor Nicolas Cage. Once again, Cage is in the news for a bizarre episode, this time because a woman accidentally printed this picture of the harried thespian on her job application.
*****
Running of the bulls, my ass. It’s the “running of the idiots.”
*****
How did Republicans manage to hijack the term “class warfare”? Bill O’Reilly, with help from henchmen Charles “Strangelove” Krauthammer (above) and Dennis Miller, kicked and screamed about it all week.
Krauthammer: “They [liberals] somehow imagine that the bounty of the past will continue. They will be able to soak the rich and pay it [the deficit] off.”
Miller: “Why does he [Obama] always say ‘rich’ like it’s a four-letter word? He’s gotta drop all this class warfare, for God’s sakes.”
O’Reilly: “It must be class envy.”
Of course it’s class warfare. The rich have been waging it on the middle class for decades. And here’s a newsflash for “comic genius” Miller: ‘Rich’ is a four-letter word.
*****
“I’m the real housewife of Minnesota.” — Janelle Pierzina (pictured at top), returning to the house on Big Brother. Blond, beautiful, and Minnesotan … how can we not watch?
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