Mercury

 

Someone is always trying to cut funding for poor PBS.  And frankly, with so many great science shows on cable, it’s getting harder to justify public broadcasting.

Maybe it’s a sign of (my) old age, but I’m digging the programming on channels like Discovery, Nat Geo, and Science, which is often jaw-dropping stuff.  Who needs MTV?

 

*****

 

Rudy1

 

“I think the vice president of the United States has become a laugh line on late-night television.”

Coming from the clown pictured above and below, should we take this quote from Rudy Giuliani as an endorsement of Joe Biden?

 

Rudy2

 

*****

 

Cake

 

I’m still waiting for Bernie Goldberg’s angry denunciation of media bias as it pertains to the birthday cake that Fox’s Chris Wallace presented to Paul Ryan (above).

 

*****

 

I’m tired of hearing about what a “nice guy” Ryan is.  We also hear how nice Mitt Romney is, and how nice President Obama is.  These guys are politicians — if they came off as snarling, sniveling jackanapes, what chance would they have of getting elected?

 

*****

 

Horstman

This is why some journalists eschew television and go into print media, where they cannot be seen.

 

*****

 

We began this week’s review with a picture of the sun.  We end with a picture of the moon, courtesy of Katy Perry at a California water park.



Katy

 

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.                     Grouch            Maroney

 

Great Minds Think Alike

 

*****

 

Dog1

 

I can’t be bothered to read The Huffington Post commenting “guidelines,” because they are so obvious.  They must go something like this:

“It does not matter if your post is obscenity-free, threat-free, and libel-free.  If we don’t like it, we will censor it.”

I suspect that the Post dislikes me because I have the temerity to point out its typographical screw-ups.  Like this one:

 

Lohan

 

So what did I post that caused “MotorcycleBoy” and the Huff Post editors to throw a tanrum?  This:

 

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Dog3

 

*****

 

And finally, odd post of the week, courtesy of Gawker:

 

Plump

 

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by Hilary Mantel
                                                                        
WolfHall

 

This fictional account of life under England’s King Henry VIII, centering on royal advisor Thomas Cromwell, is an “admirable” book – but reading it was more chore than pleasure.

The upside:

Mantel’s dialogue is sharp and often witty.  The repartee between members of the king’s court, Cromwell family members, and even lowly commoners, is consistently engaging.

The sense of time and place is vivid.  I have no idea how accurate any of it is, but as a work of fiction, Wolf Hall opens the doors to palaces, chambers, and courtyards in Renaissance England and makes you believe that you are actually there.

The downside:

Mantel’s vocabulary is impressive, but I grew frustrated over her abuse of the simple pronoun, “he.”  I challenge anyone to read this novel without, at least occasionally, being surprised to learn that the “he” Mantel is writing about is not the “he” you had imagined.

Wolf Hall snagged numerous awards, including the Man Booker Prize.  But I side with scholar Susan Bassnett, who writes, “I have yet to meet anyone outside the Booker panel who managed to get to the end of this tedious tome.”

 

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Louis2

 

Maybe you haven’t seen Louis C.K. in his FX series, or on the talk-show circuit.  But maybe you’ve heard of him.  Here’s a chance to see the grumpy comedian in a 2008 concert, just before he (kinda, sorta) hit the big-time.  Click here to watch his hour-long performance free of charge.

 

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Hitch1

 

It’s August and the country is entering the home stretch of the 2012 presidential election.  We are being bombarded with vicious political sniping and snapping — and that’s just among cable-news anchors.

As things get even more foul-tempered on our way to November, this Grouch needed a break from politics.  So thank you, Sight & Sound, for choosing this week to announce your new list of “the greatest movies of all time.”

Wisconsin’s favorite fat man, Orson Welles, has been dethroned by England’s favorite fat man, Alfred Hitchcock, at the top of the list, which is a poll of international film critics that Sight & Sound conducts every ten years.  But is top-pick Vertigo really Hitchcock’s crown jewel?

I made my own list of the master’s five best movies.  My criterion was simple if unoriginal:  I imagined that I was stuck on the proverbial desert island, along with a video player and five Hitchcock flicks.  Which five do I choose, and in what order?

 

Hitch2

 

North by Northwest     It was a tossup between this Cary Grant classic and the more somber Vertigo, but I figured that if I am stuck on an island, then I am a very depressed puppy, and I would prefer a comic thriller to a drama about a sexually screwed-up cop.

 

Hitch3

 

If you enjoy today’s Bourne and Mission Impossible movies, you can thank Hitchcock, because this 1959 thrill ride inspired the James Bond movies, which in turn led to the Matt Damon and Tom Cruise vehicles.

 

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*****

 

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Vertigo     Earlier this year, Vertigo star Kim Novak made news when she expressed displeasure that The Artist had “borrowed” composer Bernard Herrmann’s score from this 1958 gem.  I think she should have considered it a compliment.  There was no better director-musician combo at work in the 1950s than Hitchcock-Herrmann, and Vertigo might be their best collaboration.  Oh … and the rest of the movie ain’t exactly chopped liver.

 

*****

 

Hitch6

 

Rear Window     When you think about it, the people in this near-perfect movie do some awfully peculiar things.  Middle-aged Jimmy Stewart, confined by a broken leg to a wheelchair, treats gorgeous Grace Kelly as if she is Thelma Ritter.  I take that back, because he is actually nicer to Thelma:  He allows her to give him back rubs.  Meanwhile, across the courtyard, gay actor Raymond Burr spends much of the film dressed like a slob and behaving like most heterosexual men:  bickering with his wife.  At least the dog is normal.

 

Hitch7 Hitch8

 

Hitch9

 

 

*****

 

Hitch10

 

Psycho     Frankly, I’m a little tired of this film.  That’s not a knock on the movie; I’ve simply seen it too many times over the years.  So I suppose if I’m really stranded on a desert island, I’d skip this shocker, just because I know it too well.  So let’s pretend that you are the person stuck on that island, and you’ve never seen Psycho.  It should be fourth on your list.

 

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*****

 

And finally … The BirdsFrenzyNotoriousStrangers on a Train?  Regretfully, I will have to pick Lifeboat.  After all, I need something to get me off that damned island.

 

Hitch13

 

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Hachi

 

Hachi: A Dog’s Tale     If you’re not an animal lover, the first hour of this little-seen tearjerker about a man and his dog might seem an interminable bore because, other than scenes of Richard Gere playing with a furry little critter (stop it; I know what you’re thinking), not much happens.  But if you do have a soft spot for pets, the last 30 minutes of this film … sorry, I have to go find some tissues now.  Release:  2009  Grade:  B+

 

*****

 

M

 

M     The opening half of Austrian director Fritz Lang’s first talkie hasn’t aged particularly well — too much police procedural and a lack of interesting characters — but stay tuned for part two, in which bug-eyed Peter Lorre gives a performance that is absolutely riveting.  Lorre plays Beckert, an androgynous pedophile who terrorizes Berlin with a series of child murders.  The hunting of Beckert, Lorre’s deer-in-the-headlights flight, and his “trial” by the city’s underworld are the stuff of cinema legend.  Release:  1931  Grade:  A-

 

*****

 

Divide

 

The Divide     Tenants take refuge in the basement of an apartment building when a nuclear bomb levels their city — and that’s just the beginning of their ordeal.  Stretches of the film are like a nightmare:  surreal and unsettling, but also absorbing.  The Divide’s downfall is a screenplay with characters who are all unpleasant or bland, and a plot that degenerates into one disturbing scene of human depravity after another.  Release:  2012  Grade:  C

 

*****

 

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My Life as a Dog     Life is tough for 12-year-old Ingemar in 1959 Sweden, but the kid’s pain is our gain in this charming comedy-drama.  Director Lasse Hallstrom finds the perfect emotional balance as he depicts the early adolescence of Ingemar, who is shuffled from one home to another when his terminally ill mother can no longer care for him and his brother.  If that sounds maudlin, not to worry.  The oddball characters Ingemar meets — and some marvelous acting — lift this movie out of the doldrums and into the realm of coming-of-age classics.  Release:  1985  Grade:  A-

 

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Lurch     Michael Phelps

 

Olympics coverage is less than a day old, and already I’m tired of Michael Phelps.  If they gave out gold medals for ugly ….

 

*****

 

Levy

 

Quotes of the Week:

 

“I think what we’re seeing here is the danger of people who don’t know what they’re talking about, talking about things.”

and …

“I should point out:  None of us are qualified to talk about anything.  Anything.” — Andy Levy (above) during his “halftime report” on Fox’s Red Eye.

 

*****

 

Fox courter jester Greg Gutfeld chose Wednesday to brown-nose his leggy co-host on The Five, air-headed lawyer Kimberly Guilfoyle:

“When you talk about this stuff, it’s important, because you are in the legal field and you know what you’re talking about.”

Strange.  Barack Obama is a law professor, but I never hear Gutfeld deferring to him.  Also, see Andy Levy comments, above.

 

*****

 

Erin Burnett’s phone conversation with Islamic military leader Omar Hamaha:

 

Hamaha:  Yes, this is Omar.  Hello?

Burnett:  Hello.  Hello.

Hamaha:  Yes, what do you want?

Burnett:  Good morning.  Good morning.  Do you speak English?

Hamaha:  No, no.  French is it.

Burnett:  No, no.  I have — I have some help.  Yes, can you ask him, are they, are they hurting people?

Hamaha:  Listen, speak in French.  No, no.  Listen, I do not speak to a woman.  If you would like to speak to me, give me a man.  It is necessary to respect our religion.  We are — we do not speak to women.  Do you hear me?

Burnett:  CNN, Erin.  Hello, Omar?  Omar?

 

Only in a Muslim country like Mali would a man hang up on a hottie like Erin Burnett.

 

Baldwin5

 

My apologies.  That is not a picture of Erin Burnett.  That is a picture of Erin’s co-worker at CNN, Brooke Baldwin.  I suppose I should remove that picture, but for some reason I don’t want to.  Here is a picture of Erin Burnett:

 

Burnett4

 

*****

 

Grump

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Ides1

 

My name is Grouchy, and I am a politics junkie.  My pusher is the media, and my enabler is cable news.  If you tell me that you’ve got a political movie starring Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei and Paul Giamatti … I am there.  I mean, I was a big fan of The West Wing — weren’t you?

Alas, watching The Ides of March is more like watching an energy debate on C-SPAN.  It feeds the junkie’s habit, but that’s about it.

Gosling stars as Stephen, a hotshot campaign manager who, during a crucial Democratic primary in Ohio, uncovers political dirt that threatens his ideals and career.  And therein lies the problem with The Ides of March.  Gosling, attractive and talented as he may be, is not very convincing as some babe in the political woods; he’s too old and too savvy to be shocked or disillusioned by the antics of men in power.

Then, too, the screenplay itself (co-written by Clooney) seems about 20 years behind the times.  In this age of Internet blogs and cable-news gossip, it takes a lot to shock an audience.  So why are so many of the characters in this movie knocked off their feet by the plot’s “scandals”?  And I’m not referring solely to an unsavory sex revelation.

 

Ides2

 

Clooney could have used West Wing’s Aaron Sorkin to punch up his dialogue.  Consider this line from Evan Rachel Wood to Gosling, which is supposed to represent flirtation:

Wood:  “You’re the big man on campus. I’m just a lowly intern.”

Or this exchange between Gosling and Tomei, the latter playing a print journalist:

Tomei:  “You met with Duffy.”

Gosling:  “Who told you that?”

Tomei:  “A little bird.”

And this bon mot tossed off by Hoffman, rising from his chair after a confab with colleagues: “And on that note, I’m gonna take a shit.”

Somewhere, Sorkin is rolling over in his HBO money.

The movie is watchable because Clooney gets some real juice out of the other actors, especially Giamatti.  And, speaking as a politics junkie, it’s amusing to see the liberal Clooney make a film about Democrats who project the exact opposite of “hope and change.”  And on that note, I’m gonna–           Grade:  B

 

Ides3Ides4

 

Director:  George Clooney  Cast:  Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Evan Rachel Wood, Marisa Tomei, Jeffrey Wright, Max Minghella, Jennifer Ehle  Release:  2011

 

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                                                Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

 

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