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02Aug

Reviews in Short: August 2024

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Abigail

Pros: If you are into “comfort horror,” in which you don’t expect major twists in the story nor deep psychological insight, this movie is for you. It’s got a small group of people trapped in a spooky mansion with a killer on the loose who is picking them off, one by one. That’s the (familiar) plot.

I liked that. If it worked for And Then There Were None, it’s good enough for me.

Cons: It’s not a big spoiler to reveal that the killer is a little-girl vampire who is into ballet. She is played by a young actress who makes faces and dances and wears Dracula fangs. That’s the hook.

I didn’t like that. The girl is not very scary, and the gimmick wears thin. Also, the other characters are shallow, there is little wit in the dialogue, and gore replaces suspense. This is not And Then There Were None.

But if you just want something familiar, here you go. Release: 2024 Grade: B

Would I watch it again? If I am stressed and need something silly but comforting, possibly.

*

Pearl

Here is what Pearl is: gorgeous to look at, well-acted, thought-provoking, and original.

Here is what Pearl is not: much fun.

Maybe it’s a product of our times, and Ti West’s trilogy of terror (along with X and MaXXXine) simply reflects the national mood. But I can’t help comparing X to 1974’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Pearl — a psychological profile of a murderess in the making — to early ‘60s melodramas What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush … Hush, Sweet Charlotte.

West’s fondness for those earlier movies is apparent. The plots and/or themes are similar in all of them. And yet …

Chain Saw and the Bette Davis films were scary-good fun, horror with an underlying sense of humor. West’s movies are technically impressive, but bleak and unpleasant. Release: 2022 Grade: B

Would I watch it again? Not likely. See above.

27Jul

The Weekly Review: July 21 – 27

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Looks like the Paris Olympics are off to a ridiculous start.

Good time for me to go on …

20Jul

The Weekly Review: July 14 – 20

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The year 2024, as expected, has been insane.

I expect 2025 to be even crazier.

*

The thing is, no matter who wins the November election, chaos remains.

It’s hard to believe that, should the Democrats prevail, MAGA Nation will shake its collective head and say, “Oh, well — better luck next time!”

It’s hard to believe that, should the Republicans win, “progressives” will sigh and think, “Oh, well — we gave it our best shot!”

*

Nope.

Everything is going to be nuts for years to come.

*

What next? Another assassination attempt? A contrived economic crash? World War III?

A dictatorship on the left or a dictatorship on the right?

Nothing seems out of the question.

*

Have a nice week!

17Jul

The Lost City of Z

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by David Grann

A few weeks ago, I watched a YouTube video featuring amazing images of Mars that have been transmitted back to Earth. The high-definition pictures of the red planet’s barren landscapes held my interest for 15 minutes or so — and then it was time to move on to the next video. I’d seen enough.

Perhaps I’ve become jaded, or I’ve watched too many science-fiction movies.

It’s easy to forget how, for most of history, exploration was a rock-star pursuit that riveted the world. Long before YouTube, or even television, newspaper accounts of adventurers like Percy Fawcett mesmerized readers all over the globe.

David Grann (Killers of the Flower Moon) spent years researching the life, legend and disappearance of Fawcett, a British explorer who entered the Amazon basin in 1925 with two other expedition members — hoping to confirm the existence of the titular “Z” — and then never came back.

Did the Fawcett party fall victim to disease or to predators? Did a hostile tribe kill them? Grann’s exhaustive research (and even a trip to the Amazon, hoping to retrace Fawcett’s final excursion) fails to provide definitive answers.

That’s a problem. By the book’s conclusion, we still don’t know what became of the enigmatic, obsessed (I might say “bull-headed”) explorer. Nor, despite Grann’s best efforts and imagination, do we get conclusive answers about the mythical “city of Z.”

By the time I turned the last page, I was impressed by Grann’s achievement. I was intrigued by Fawcett and his exploits. But unlike those newspaper readers of a century ago, I was not enthralled.

I was ready for the next YouTube video.

13Jul

The Weekly Review: July 7 – 13

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Hate to say, “I told you so,” but ….

What we posted a month ago:

This is what you get when people in positions of power — possibly including the Secret Service and the FBI — are corrupt and determined to undermine Trump.

07Jul

Reviews in Short: July 2024

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Border

Tina is a Swedish customs agent with an unusual talent. Much like a predator in the wild, she can sense heightened emotion in humans: fear, shame, or guilt. If you’re nervous and trying to smuggle a bottle of booze past security, best not walk near Tina.

I’m not well-versed in Scandinavian folklore, so when we learn the genesis of Tina’s special power — shortly after she encounters a man who is homely and outcast, like she is — my reaction was, “this is interesting.”

The problem with Border is that, while it is intriguing and well-made, it’s also relentlessly nihilistic and unpleasant. As if Tina’s lonely lot in life isn’t sad enough, there are subplots involving pedophilia and reproduction that made me want to … well, no thank you.

You can take Border as an allegory of the struggles of marginalized people in society, or as a face-value monster movie. But after we learn the big reveal, my main reaction was, “this is too depressing.” Release: 2018 Grade: C+

Would I watch it again? No.

**

Talk to Me

When I see that a horror movie has a lofty approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I tend to take that information with a grain of salt. The bar for most modern horror is so low that, I suspect, many critics overreact when they watch something that doesn’t actually suck.

Talk to Me, a thriller from Australia with 95 percent approval on Rotten Tomatoes, does not suck. It doesn’t break new ground in its genre, and it isn’t particularly scary. Yet it does have something rare: characters that are interesting.

Sophie Wilde plays Mia, a high school girl who, along with her circle of friends, discovers the ultimate party game — a mummified hand that, when touched, conjures spirits. Evil spirits. As you might expect, things do not go well for the thrill-seeking teens.

But Mia’s relationship with her friends and family raises Talk to Me a notch above its competitors. Release: 2022 Grade: B

Would I watch it again? Possibly.

06Jul

The Weekly Review: June 30 – July 6

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I’m not sure what more can be said to convince undecided voters that they should go for the orange-skinned braggart over what amounts to a periodically lucid corpse (above).

**

YouTube, which routinely censors political speech it doesn’t like, apparently has no problem with the scores of “try-on haul” videos proliferating on the site.

Young women model lingerie and bikinis that are see-thru, affording viewers clear full-frontal and full-rear looks at their goodies.

Fifty years ago, some of this stuff would have been too risqué for Playboy magazine.

**

It’s summer, so I’m taking the rest of the day off.

Then again, I am looking for a new topic for our “Male Gazing” category. Maybe I’ll check out those try-on haul YouTube videos to find the best ones ….

**

29Jun

The Weekly Review: June 23 – 29

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Debate Takeaways

I haven’t had this much fun watching Democrat conniption fits since Trump shocked the world eight years ago:

And yet … it does seem possible, even probable, that Biden’s public humiliation was orchestrated by The Establishment, which, knowing that Biden is likely toast in November, decided it’s time to replace him — and get the liberal media on board.

*

Very strange seeing CNN’s sad attempt to return to real journalism. Jake Tapper and Dana Bash were (gasp!) just fine.

**

Holy shit. If you don’t know who Tim Pool is, or why he has so many loyal followers, check out his podcast from Wednesday night. Pool was on fire, and poor Arthur Bloom was in the line of that fire.

Pool begins his assault of Bloom, whom he called an “elitist,” about 10-15 minutes into the show.

If the beanie-topped podcaster ever decides to get into law, I pity anyone he cross-examines.

**

Speaking of Pool and his podcasting empire, I’ve been watching Pop Culture Crisis, co-hosted by 30-something Brett Dasovic and 20-something firebrand Mary Morgan.

They give me hope for America’s future. Even when they are bashing, ahem, Baby Boomers like Yours Truly.

(Presumably, they have fixed the typos — “cuteure”? — in the picture above.)

24Jun

Male Gazing: Natalie Reynolds

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Bratty Nattie

If there’s one thing we know about controversial “influencer” Natalie Reynolds (there is a lot more than one thing), it’s that the girl craves attention.

Reynolds garners views on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram by pushing buttons in her videos. She kills wild animals; she interviews pedophiles; she gives money to a homeless woman to jump into a body of water — knowing that the poor woman can’t swim. Natalie walks half-naked into a gym.

Natalie Reynolds generates headlines for The New York Post and other news sites.

Yawn. There is only one thing that interests us. The blonde beauty also has an OnlyFans page.

Because we are always aiming to help young people achieve their goals — in Natalie’s case, viewer eyeballs — we thought we’d help by sharing some of her pictures.

(Click on any picture on this post for a larger view.)

Male gazing into our crystal ball, and because she is always trying to up the ante (or “push the envelope”; choose your own cliché), we see this in Natalie’s future: hard-core pornography.

In the pictures and videos below, bratty Nattie seems to already be in the next phase of her career.

“Doggy vids”?

Natalie’s “leaked” OnlyFans videos:

22Jun

The Weekly Review: June 16 – 22

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Hodgepodge

And so, the big debate is just days away.

The challenge for Trump, it seems to me, is to resist the temptation to point out the obvious: Biden’s mental and physical deterioration. To do so might appear “mean-spirited” to some viewers. The current president’s feebleness should already be clear to anyone who’s watched him.

Instead, Trump should relentlessly hammer on the sky-high cost of food, gas, and rent; illegal immigrants repeatedly allowed to stay in the country, and often raping and killing young girls; the increasing likelihood of a world war with Russia or China.

In other words, don’t make the debate about Biden personally, nor about your own legal battles. Make it about the destructiveness of Biden policies on we, the people.

**

I am conflicted by the raging debate over The Acolyte.

On the one hand, I am so, so sick of fantasy shows in general, and Star Wars shows in particular.

On the other hand, I am so, so sick of wokeness permeating Hollywood output in general, and Disney shows in particular.

My solution: Ban all fantasy-related projects for the next five years. This will punish the Hollywood woke and Star Wars fans alike.

And it will make me happy.

**

I recently mentioned the 1972 Wes Craven movie (The) Last House on the Left.

I called it Last House on the Left.

Rotten Tomatoes calls it that. IMDB and Wikipedia, however, refer to it with the extra article: The Last House on the Left.

Which is correct? This, to me, is the burning issue of the day.

**

If you are of a certain age, you might fondly recall Creepy and Eerie magazines. Today, they would be called graphic novels. They followed in the spooky tradition of Tales from the Crypt, and new issues were a cause for celebration, if you were a kid.

And so it was with nostalgic joy that I discovered this Web site. It seems that you can find and enjoy most, if not all, of the old magazines. I’d say more, but I have to get reading.

**

As a longtime smoker, over the years I’ve been alternately bemused and angered by this country’s attitude toward the obese and toward smokers.

Fat and smoking are both bad for you, we can agree. But while smokers are banned, shunned, taxed and sent 20 feet away from the door, the reaction to fatties is … oh, well.

To me, this hypocrisy is simply a matter of numbers. While you probably don’t have many friends who smoke, you probably do have fat friends. Or you are fat, yourself.