The Grouchy Editor

Ebola!

Italians take to the streets after rumors spread that two nurses had been spotted in a park

President Obama and Thomas R. Frieden of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention today urged public panic in the wake of fears over the spread of the deadly disease Ebola.

“This is not West Africa,” Frieden said.  “My family and I have been tearing the hair out of our heads over this thing, and I suggest that you do so, as well.”

“Everybody run!” said Obama, when asked for comment on his way to a fundraiser in California.

Wall Street workers heed Obama’s advice

Fear spreads in Japan

Meanwhile, The Huffington Post ignores its own front page:

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In more important matters, Survivor’s Baylor shows us her butt.

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“I think Bill Maher’s good for America.  Let me tell you why … he’s willing to speak the truth when so many others in the media are scared to death.” – Fox’s Sean Hannity on Tuesday, causing me to crap my pants.

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“It’s as if in World War II we didn’t call the Nazis ‘Nazis’ because we were afraid to offend them.  You call the enemy by their name.  You call everything by its true name, otherwise it’s pure Orwell.” – Lt. Colonel Ralph Peters (the one with the castrato voice) on “terrorism” vs. “workplace violence.”

This from a guy whose military comes up with terms like “collateral damage,” “degrading the enemy,” and “friendly fire”?

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These endless wars in the Middle East are too depressing to dwell on.  We’ve been told, for years now, that we have Middle Eastern “allies,” yet these comrades-in-arms either dislike us or are spectacularly incompetent.

Seems like Obama has two options:  A)  Get the hell out of the Middle East altogether (sorry, Israel, but this is your problem), or B) do a much, much better job of explaining to the public just exactly why we must be there.  I’m not holding my breath for either scenario.  Congress doesn’t seem to care, so why should we?

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I keep reading that women do not care for penis pictures.  Then why are women so happy to see Ben Affleck’s penis?

… and JLaw picks a strange way to gripe about her leaked nudies:

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“Just trust us”

— the “infallible” U.S. medical system, before releasing an Ebola-infected man into the streets

— the Secret Service, to Barack Obama

— Congress, before taking yet another vacation while the world goes to hell

— Google, before spreading your private, nude photos all over the Internet

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Why is this not surprising?

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Hey Leo, if you want me to reduce my carbon footprint, how about you stop leaving such a giant one, yourself?

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Lots of happy people this week.  The media are happy because just talking about war isn’t nearly as exciting as actually waging it.  The defense industry is happy because the big bucks will once again roll in.  Conservatives are happy because Obama finally grasped the fact that he was elected, twice, not to do the bidding of the people who voted for him, but to do the bidding of the people who voted against him.

Amazing how quickly we all stopped asking, “Should we bomb in Syria?” and leaped to “Who wants to join us?”  Congress is home taking a nap, the media has a war woody, and the populace is afraid it will get its head chopped off while sleeping in bed.

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I finally figured out the meaning behind the title of the FX series, The Bridge.  Apparently, several characters have severe dental issues and must wear a bridge.  I realized this when I noticed that Hank never moves his lips when he speaks, and neither does Mumble Mouth Linder (above), who is more incomprehensible than a drunken Tom Brokaw.

I am upset with FX because the network provides subtitles for all of the show’s Spanish speakers, but none for Hank and none for Mumble Mouth Linder.

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The clowns who populate cable news have been aflutter, agog, and atwitter over Adrian Peterson and the issue of corporal punishment.  But you have to go online to find stories about what is, to me, the bigger issue:  this propensity of pampered jocks to create fatherless families.

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Watching Jimmy Fallon this week was like traveling back in time to 1966.  Barbra Streisand belting out tunes, Jerry Lewis cracking jokes, Questlove sporting an Afro ….

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I want to work for CNN.  On CNN, you can get a job like Anthony Bourdain and Mike Rowe have which, from what I can tell, entails traveling around the globe, eating food, and chatting with locals.  For that, you are paid handsomely.  I can do that.

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Reality TV Week!

Utopia

Fox premiered a new reality show called Utopia.  A bunch of exhibitionist gluttons for punishment volunteered to spend a year at a ranch equipped with scores of TV cameras, and viewers are invited to watch the proceedings, 24 hours a day.  And what kind of goodness awaits viewers of the live stream?  This kind of goodness:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x24x610_utopia-nikki-relaxing-in-the-nude_shortfilms

[Editor’s note: Apparently someone at Fox or Dailymotion decided that this video should be cancelled, just like the low-rated show it sprang from. Below is a screen capture from Utopia’s short-lived run.  – January 2016]

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Big Brother

Houseguests on CBS’s Big Brother spend a lot of time fantasizing about their post-show popularity with fans, particularly on social media sites.  So imagine their surprise last week when they overheard the audience reception given to booted contestant Christine, who was greeted with a chorus of loud boos.  No, you don’t have to imagine their surprise; here’s a picture:

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This guy never, ever, has any good news:

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MORE CELEBRITY

NUDES LEAKED!

(Click on the images for full nudes) *

                    Sarah Palin                                                    Michael Moore

              Tulsi Gabbard                                              Wolf Blitzer

                Don Rickles                                                      Arianna Huffington

*  If you click on the images and do not see full nudes, this can mean either a) your computer has been hacked and is no longer functioning, so you might as well just toss it into the trash; or b) we have too much time on our hands and thought this would be a fun prank.

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We realized that the hacked celebrity nudes were a big deal when we saw that Farm Weekly was all over the story.  Farm Weekly?

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That creepy old fart on eHarmony commercials, Neil Clark Warren, is taking things too far in his purported quest to bring singles together.

“We get to know you at your deepest level,” Warren says, and then inserts his 80-year-old self between a man and a woman who are simply trying to watch a movie.  Would you want this guy to know you at your “deepest level”?

“Who is the one person who’s waiting for you?” Warren asks, and then hops into bed with other unlucky couples.  It seems obvious to us whom this elderly pervert thinks that “one person” is.

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Worst place to live in America:  a mobile-home park in Oklahoma

Worst business to own in America:  a liquor store in San Francisco

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Sofia Vergara caught flak for spinning on a pedestal at the Emmys.  These days, if anything appeals even remotely to the heterosexual male, it is branded “sexist.”

On the plus side, Entertainment Gaily took leave of its senses and actually posted a story about female derrieres.  I have no idea what they were drinking at EG, but I wish they’d drink more of it:

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Entertainment Gaily informs us that this is the “Summer of Butts,” so here is a bit more Sofia:

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TV Update

The Honourable Woman (SundanceTV):  This drama starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and set in the Middle East and England has an awful lot going for it.  It’s intelligent and has sharp dialogue, fine acting, and timely subject matter.  But so far (through four episodes), it is also, at times, a bit slow and lacking in suspense.  So far.   Grade:  B+

Manhattan (WGN America):  Another intelligent drama, but with a bit more soap opera.  Again, the subject matter is compelling:  World War II scientists are confined to a base in New Mexico where they race to create the atomic bomb.  But Manhattan has another weapon in its arsenal — its unique, concentration camp-like setting.  Grade:  B+

Outlander (Starz):  Silly but fun romance.  You have to buy into an absurd premise — woman time-travels from the 1940s back to 18^th-century Scotland — but if you don’t mind that, this is well-done fantasy.  (Picture at top)  Grade:  B

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Michael O’Neill — bet you don’t recognize the name.  But I’ll bet you do recognize the stern-looking mug pictured above, because no one plays a better villain than O’Neill, who lately has been stirring up trouble seemingly everywhere, including Bates Motel, Rectify, and Extant.

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Jessie Nizewitz appeared on Dating Naked and is now suing VH1 for ten million bucks, because an uncensored shot of Jessie’s crotch made it onto the show.  VH1 is calling it a mistake, but my guess is that some rascal in the editing room wondered if he could get by with it.  Here is the shot, plus some blurred Jessie (above), because you want to see.

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Looks as though we’re all being conditioned for another ground war in the Middle East.  In our great country, this decision should be an easy call because our generals and politicians never lie to us, nor do they try to frighten us.

Uh … wait a minute …

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No good reason to post this picture of a critter’s snout, except that we like it.

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Most of the news from foreign countries has been horrendous.  Thank goodness for Brazil.  Online voting began this week for “Miss Bumbum 2014,” an event that always makes me crack a smile.

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James Garner, Lauren Bacall, Robin Williams, Philip Seymour Hoffman.  It’s only August, but it’s been a tough year for losing celebrities.

My favorite Williams films that got little mention in his obituaries:  The Best of Times (below, with Kurt Russell), Awakenings, Dead Again.

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Too many people confuse the word “respect” with the word “fear.”  If you are a bully wielding power over me, you don’t get my respect.  You might get fear, but you don’t get respect.

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I just watched the fourth-season finale of The Killing.  This thrice-cancelled series was certainly cursed, but I would never blame its writers.  Nor its actors.

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CNN’s Brooke Baldwin had struggles on Thursday:

Brooke:  “President Obama proclaimed the siege of Mt. Sinjar in Iraq is over.  Here’s the president:”

[footage of mountainous terrain]

Brooke:  “All right, so those are pictures of the mountain.  Hopefully we can queue up the president for you in a second.”

Later, Brooke attempted to introduce reporter Evan Perez as CNN theme music signaled a commercial break.

Brooke:  “What are you hearing, Evan?  That’s not the right audio.  Hang on, Evan.  Do we have him?  OK. We’re going to roll on to the tease and maybe we will get him in a second.”

It’s OK, Brooke.  When this kind of thing happens, we can always sit back and enjoy your legs.

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