Category: Weekly Reviews

 

The picture above was taken last week in my home city, Minneapolis. It sums up the mood of the country, and the disposition of Yours Truly: dark and ominous.

I suggest bypassing politics this week for mental health reasons. Instead, check out Tales From The Grouch, indexed below. (Links are in green.)

 

 

 . grouchyeditor.com Rusty   “Rusty” — Happy times in suburbia.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com revelation   “Revelation” — Unhappy times in suburbia.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com homebodies   “Homebodies” — The people next door.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com ass   “The Porthole” — Be careful what you wish for.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com the ufo   “The UFO” — Stand by me … and a UFO.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com Tales From Grouch   “Carol Comes Home” — The spirit of Norman Bates.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com thwup   “Thwup!” — The case for eating more (or less) beans.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com Wisdom   “Wisdom” — Cabin in the woods.

 

.        “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”  Thelma helps a guest.

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Americans    “The Americans”  — Kevin goes for the gold.

 

.        “Margaret” — The greatest love story of all time?

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Asmat     “The Hot Tub”  — Elites enjoy some “quality time.”

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Earl Smilius     “The Climate Changer” — Earl has a secret weapon.

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Holger     “An Overcast Day”   — The important thing in life.

 

.   grouchyeditor.com small problem     “A Small Problem” — It’s not the size of the boat?

 

 

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“Money Heist:

 

Battle of the Babes!”

 

 

Not that it matters to anyone other than them, but there is a battle of the fans going on over which version of Netflix’s Money Heist is superior: the original Spanish series, or Korea’s new take on the same story.

Personally, I got tired of Spain’s hit show after one or two seasons. But I did enjoy it in its early days — ditto for Korea’s Money Heist, which debuted a few weeks ago, also on Netflix.

I think the Money Heist fans are fighting over the wrong issue. They are debating plots, characters, and unimportant things like that. The real question is, which version has the hottest actresses? Have a look, and you be the judge.

 

Team Spain

 

Left to right:  Itziar Ituno, Alba Flores, Ursula Corbero, Maria Pedraza, Esther Acebo

 

Team Korea

 

Left to right: Jeon Jong-seo, Jang Yoon-ju, Kim Yun-jin, Lee Joo-bin

 

Depending on which source you use, the spellings and name orders of Korean actresses are … frustrating. For example, you will find the actress who plays “the hostage” identified as either Lee Joo-bin or Joo-bin Lee. Same problem arises with other actors in the cast. We just flipped a coin.

 

What follows is an artistic and scientific comparison of the Spanish and Korean babes who play the five major female characters in both versions of the story: Tokyo, Nairobi, The Negotiator, The Hostage, and The Diplomat’s Daughter.

 

“Tokyo” – Ursula Corbero/Jeon Jong-seo

“Nairobi” – Alba Flores/Jang Yoon-ju

“The Negotiator” – Itziar Ituno/Kim Yun-jin

“The Hostage” – Esther Acebo/Lee Joo-bin

“The Diplomat’s Daughter” – Maria Pedraza/Lee Si-woo

 

 

Tokyo — Ursula Corbero

 

grouchyeditor.com nude Corbero

 

 

Tokyo — Jeon Jong-seo

 

 

Winner: Corbero

 

Jong-seo is as cute as a button, but aside from the screen caps pictured above from Burning, she doesn’t seem to have done much in the way of nude scenes. Corbero, on the other hand, bares all in a number of Spanish shows (and also for the paparazzi).

 

 

Nairobi — Alba Flores

 

 

 

Nairobi — Jang Yoon-ju

 

 

Winner: Yoon-ju

 

Flores certainly shows more skin, but model/actress Yoon-ju is beyond hot. Too bad she doesn’t show much, or even appear much, in the first season of Money Heist. (By the way, we’re assuming that’s Yoon-ju’s bare ass in the Vogue Korea photo above. Or is it an illustration? Hard to tell.)

 

 

The Negotiator — Itziar Ituno

 

 

 

The Negotiator — Kim Yun-jin

 

 

Winner: Yun-jin

 

In the battle of the older actresses, we’re going to hand this one to Yun-jin. Although, we’ll have to point out that the bare-buttocks screen caps above are from a movie she did quite a few years ago.

 

 

The Hostage — Esther Acebo

 

 

 

The Hostage — Lee Joo-bin

 

 

 

Winner: Joo-bin

 

Yes, this battle is getting lopsided. Maybe we have an Asian fetish. But even though Mr. Skin informs us that Joo-bin has yet to do any real nudity, the fucking scene from Money Heist pictured above is much sexier than poor Acebo’s scene in the Spanish version, which has to be about the least-glamorous nudity since, well ….

 

 

Diplomat’s Daughter — Maria Pedraza

 

 

 

Diplomat’s Daughter — Lee Si-woo

 

 

Winner: Si-woo

 

You guessed it, another win for Korea. Pedraza’s bare boobs (above, not from Money Heist) are lovely, but good lord, some of these Korean girls are delightful. Sadly, if Si-woo has disrobed in anything, we couldn’t find it.

 

**

 

Yes, we know, we are becoming Playboy magazine. We are Playboy (this week) because politics are just too damn depressing.

 

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Inflation, illegal immigration, gas hikes, food shortages, out-of-control crime, and billions of dollars sent to Ukraine.

We can no longer blame any of this on incompetence or stupidity.

This is Democrats deliberately sticking it to the average American — especially the American middle class and especially in the Midwest.

They no longer even try to hide their intentions. It’s all-out war.

 

**

 

Rorschach test:

 

This is how you tell the difference between an “ass man” and a “boobs man.” What do you see in the picture below?

 

 

I saw shapely butt cheeks. Oops.

 

 

**

 

 

Alas, if only we could cancel it in real life.

 

**

 

Coming Sunday: A brand-new, longer-than-average, weirder-than-ever Tale From The Grouch.

We’ll post a link to “A Small Problem” tomorrow.

 

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Pictured above are my co-worker’s big tits. If you click on it, the picture and the tits will be even bigger.

Now that I’ve got your attention, I can get on with this week’s review. I will explain more about the picture and the big tits later in this post.

 

**

 

 

Jesse Watters’s new show is growing on me. Given his past at Fox News, I thought Watters might be a bit lightweight for prime time. But he’s proving to be an effective attack dog.

He got the corrupt Napa County district attorney to finally release the delightful mugshot of Paul Pelosi, pictured above, and he says he’ll go to court to get video of Pelosi’s drunk-driving incident. He is also calling out judicial corruption elsewhere, such as the (quiet) release of antifa thugs.

In short, instead of simply complaining about the left, Watters is going after them. He’s playing offense, and that’s refreshing.

 

**

 

Abortion!

 

Uh, no comment. Not yet.

I’m just waiting to see what happens next.

 

**

 

TV Tidbits

 

I’m having a tough time accepting Jeff Bridges as the titular character in FX’s The Old Man. Not because Bridges is bad in the role; to the contrary, he is, as usual, very good.

No, my problem is that he is “the old man.”

Bridges first came to my attention in 1974, co-starring with Clint Eastwood in a movie called Thunderbolt and Lightfoot. He managed to steal the show from superstar Eastwood, who at the time was 44, while the boyish Bridges was just 25. 

I know, Bridges has played older dudes many times, in movies like True Grit and Crazy Heart. But to me he’s always been The Kid, not the goddamn “old man.”

Now get off my lawn!

 

*

 

Hotel Portofino

It’s awfully, uh, “effeminate,” what with its lingering shots of vases and paintings and drapery and women’s clothing. Not to mention the soft piano tinkling mixed with classical music in the score. But man, the scenery is gorgeous. Too early to tell if the drama will match it.

I’m afraid it’s going to be Downton Abbey without Maggie Smith — you cannot have Downton Abbey without Maggie Smith.

 

*

 

Dark Winds

I was a fan of the PBS series that aired 20 years ago, in which cops Leaphorn and Chee solved crimes on an American Indian reservation. So far, this new series on AMC seems on par with the original. Even though the mysteries aren’t particularly original.

 

**

 

This is where we are in 2022: I no longer consider Randy Quaid a nutjob. He is a voice of reason:

 

 

 

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**

 

 

Now back to the girl with the big tits. I promised to get back to the big tits, so here we are.

Why, you might ask, is this piece of ass’s lovely lass’s face cropped out of the picture?

Because I didn’t want anyone at work telling her that I posted a picture of her big tits. Duh!

 

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The big question in November isn’t whether there will be a “red wave.” All signs indicate there will be.

No, the question is whether the incoming Republicans will actually strive to effect change, or if they will adopt their predecessors’ tactic of go-along-to-get-along to preserve the status quo — and their cushy lifestyles.

 

**

 

 

I had high hopes for 2019’s horror flick Ready or Not because the critics at Rotten Tomatoes (fooled me once) gave it a high rating (fooled me twice).

After a promising start, Ready devolves into just another boring kill-or-be-killed exercise, with cardboard characters, witless dialogue, and ridiculous plot developments. Also, the comedy and horror elements were a tonal mess.

My fault, though, because you know what they say when you get fooled twice.

 

**

 

Speaking of horror movies, apparently Dashcam director Rob Savage liked the fact that we praised the movie’s lead actress, Annie Hardy:

 

 

**

 

I’d like to see the new Top Gun movie with Tom Cruise, because I understand it’s not in the least bit “woke.”

I’m in no hurry to see the new Top Gun movie with Tom Cruise, because I saw the first one and thought it was, well, just OK.

 

**

 

Let’s check in with a troll on Twitter:

 

 

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So the Democrats put on a show trial for prime-time TV, apparently because they are afraid of getting crushed by the right in the November elections, not to mention the Orange Man in a couple of years.

I thought a viewing antidote to this liberal hissy fit about January 6 might be Dashcam (pictured above), a controversial horror movie now available to rent or buy. I was half-right. Here is my short review.

 

**

 

 

Another alternative to Democrat bullshit is Peaky Blinders, now streaming its final season on Netflix. It’s a very good show — at times, a great show.

 

**

 

The critics on Rotten Tomatoes certainly have their biases. What Is a Woman? premiered last week, and I was curious about the reviews:

 

 

OK, I thought. The movie probably hasn’t been around long enough to have more than one review. So I checked again a few days later:

 

 

Wow — they tripled the number of reviews! Good job, critics!

 

**

 

As for the news this week, I will repeat myself: Things are bad and they are going to get worse.

 

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Think what you will about teen girls, but sometimes they contribute the perfect phrase to express a societal ill. I am thinking of “Whatever!” and I am thinking of

 

“I Can’t Even!”

 

I’m no gun nut. I have no plans to ever get a firearm.

But from looking at what’s transpiring north of the border with the pretty-boy tyrant — not to mention Governments-Gone-Wild in China, Europe, and Down Under — well, I am now, reluctantly, on the side of the gun nuts.

Because the gun nuts are nowhere near as crazy as the political nuts leading our countries.

American citizens could very well need firearms to avoid getting locked up in our own houses. I listen to Canada’s Trudeau and I think, I can’t even.

 

*

 

 

The following paragraph was buried at the end of a story by Fox’s Dennis Brady, who was covering the World Economic Forum in Davos. I read it and could not believe my eyes.

 

 

Is it possible that even the elites are beginning to recognize the folly of their “global reset”? I can’t even.

 

*

 

 

Recently, I lamented that all my favorite TV shows are going away. But then I noticed that Borgen was returning to Netflix after a nine-year hiatus. I’ve only seen the first two episodes, but so far the show is, as usual, smart and well-written.

But there are “woke” alarm bells sounding. Global warming is a major theme, and so is you-go-girl feminism. The male characters are either soft-in-the-head liberals or evil conservatives. If this keeps up, well, I can’t even.

 

**

 

Rip van Dinkle was pleased to see that writer EJ Dickson, who covered uncovered Rip in the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant, is still stirring the pot — this time with a story for Rolling Stone:

 

 

**

 

 

“Toxic femininity.”  Has a nice ring to it.

 

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.                                                              1986                      2019

 

One of the blowhards on Fox’s The Five said he planned to see the new Top Gun flick this weekend because it’s a “patriotic” thing to do.

Not so sure about that.

Apparently, the film’s producer in 2019 altered a uniform patch (above) depicting the Japanese and Taiwanese flags so as not to offend its good friends in China — but then backed down due to public backlash.

But is it “patriotic” to support these clowns in Hollywood — flags or no flags?

 

***

 

So, we have yet another school massacre.

What do a lot of these young assassins have in common?

Answer: Either no father at home or a bad father at home.

 

***

 

The media keep referring to Uvalde as a “small town.” Bullshit.

I was raised in a village with a population of 1,300. In other words, it was an actual small town.

Uvalde, population 15,217, is a “town.”

Get it right, city slickers.

 

***

 

Too many people seem to assume that towns — including small towns — have access to the same kinds of resources and personnel that city folk have.

They do not.

 

***

 

I have little interest in the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial. I do, however, still like Amber’s ass:

 

 

Sadly, apparently Amber thinks of Johnny in the sack like this:

 

 

Also sadly, Johnny probably thinks of Amber in the sack like this:

 

 

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Peterson is, as usual, correct. The Sports Illustrated model does have an attractive face, but as for the rest of her … well, not so much.

Like I said, Peterson is, as usual, correct.

 

**

 

 

Who the hell is this woman? And who did she bang at the New York Post to warrant so much publicity?

 

**

 

 

There is often a divergence of opinion between critics and a movie’s fans, but good lord. A 74-point difference of opinion?

 

**

 

 

Why is it that our politicians (and most media) talk only about the huge influx of illegal immigrants from the past few years?

Is it no longer a problem that, depending on which estimate you believe, we already have anywhere from 12-20 million illegal aliens solidly entrenched here? Are we supposed to forget about that?

 

**

 

 

Get rid of them all. This show has sucked for years.

 

**

 

Last but certainly not least, we just posted a new Tale From The Grouch. Check out “An Overcast Day,” and then peruse all 14 short stories listed below.

Here’s a complete list of Grouch’s short stories with links (in green):

 

 

 . grouchyeditor.com Rusty   “Rusty” — Happy times in suburbia.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com revelation   “Revelation” — Unhappy times in suburbia.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com homebodies   “Homebodies” — The people next door.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com ass   “The Porthole” — Be careful what you wish for.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com the ufo   “The UFO” — Stand by me … and a UFO.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com Tales From Grouch   “Carol Comes Home” — The spirit of Norman Bates.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com thwup   “Thwup!” — The case for eating more (or less) beans.

 

.  grouchyeditor.com Wisdom   “Wisdom” — Cabin in the woods.

 

.        “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”  Thelma helps a guest.

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Americans    “The Americans”  — Kevin goes for the gold.

 

.        “Margaret” — The greatest love story of all time?

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Asmat     “The Hot Tub”  — Elites enjoy some “quality time.”

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Earl Smilius     “The Climate Changer” — Earl has a secret weapon.

 

.   grouchyeditor.com Holger     “An Overcast Day”   — The important thing in life.

 

 

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I realize that Midler got roasted for posing a similar question, but is baby formula the only way to keep an infant alive? How did people manage to feed their babies for thousands of years before the invention of this magic formula?

To answer your question, no, I don’t have kids. I am ignorant. “Obviously,” you are no doubt thinking.

Silly me. I thought plain old milk might suffice in a pinch.

 

In related news, how can Joe Biden possibly justify sending the stuff to illegal-alien parents when there isn’t enough for our own citizens?

This issue is making my head spin.

 

**

 

 

Of course we are aware that Peterson is a celebrated author. But it amuses us to puncture oversize egos — even when they reside in men we otherwise admire.

 

**

 

 

Every time Friday the 13th comes up on the calendar, we are reminded of our (sort of) friend Deborah Voorhees. So, it’s nice to see that she, or at least her anatomy, is also remembered by Mr. Skin (above).

Read The Grouch’s post about meeting Deborah here.

 

 

**

 

 

Judging from his crackpot posts on Twitter, it seems likely that the bookcase toppled over and clonked Stephen King on the head.

 

 

**

 

I’m a few years late, but I finally watched HBO’s acclaimed Chernobyl.

Maybe my expectations were too high after reading so many glowing reviews (pun intended). Or perhaps, with a plethora of disasters and near-disasters in the news these days, a miniseries documenting a nuclear disaster from 1986 was just … too much.

Or maybe I prefer the 1979 version of nuclear folly, called The China Syndrome.

But I was a bit disappointed by Chernobyl — except for the fifth and final episode, which was superb.

 

**

 

 

Take that, fucking snowflakes.

 

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