Category: Weekly Reviews

 

 

I live just a few miles from Minneapolis. I grew up in Minnesota.

I blame all of these problems with fraud and Somalis and Walz on this:

 

 

Back in 1973, thanks in large part to the above cover story in Time, “Minnesota Nice” became a thing.

The polite Scandinavians and Germans who largely populated the area took this as a compliment and have been trying to live up to “nice” ever since. Movies like Fargo with its lovable police chief didn’t help matters. The country had New York for rudeness; now it had its opposite in the Midwest.

Trouble is, not everyone interprets “nice” the same way. Some ingrate Somalis and other charlatans see it as synonymous with naive at best, and stupid suckers, at worst. 

And so here we are.

 

**

 

Trump is always in the news. The Supreme Court gets its share of headlines. Even the U.S. House regularly contributes news, good or bad, to the media.

But what the hell does the U.S. Senate do? Anything? Hide?

This guy Thune, the senate majority leader, seems worthless:

 

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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TV Tidbits

 

Lumps of Coal: The Beast in Me and Frankenstein

On the surface, these Netflix premieres should be good. They have handsome production values, talented actors, and intriguing stories.

So why did I like them, sort of, but not really love them?

Simple answer: the main characters did nothing for me.

Claire Danes and Matthew Rhys (Beast in Me) and Oscar Isaac and Mia Goth (Frankenstein) all play unpleasant people. They are the stars. I didn’t like any of them. At least supporting players Jonathan Banks and Jacob Elordi are supposed to be monsters.

 

Christmas Yule: The Celebrity Traitors

At some point during the opening episode, I thought I’d finally burned out on this global reality show. Not to worry. By episode two, I was back on board. I still love this thing.

Although the participants are “celebrities” in Britain, I’d only heard of a few of them. I Google-searched one, singer Charlotte Church, and learned that she once won “Rear of the Year.”

England had a thing called “Rear of the Year”? Guess I should move there.

Charlotte Church pics (click for larger view):

 

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OK, so maybe that last pic is a fake.

 

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

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A group of bickering billionaires ride out the apocalypse in their jungle bunker.

A modern-day date goes bad – for one of them.

A newbie congressman learns the secret of true power in Washington.

A survey of small-penis humiliation throughout the centuries.

Small-town boys encounter a UFO.

Those stories and a dozen more in The Grouch’s new book, Small Problems, now in paperback and e-book formats.

Purchase on Amazon here.

 

With an introduction by the dude playing hopscotch, below.

 

 

 

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And now for something completely different …

Go order my book! Link is here.

It’s cheap (free for some of you), hot off the presses, and guaranteed to either a) put a smile on your face or b) make you lose your lunch.

Paperback version available in a few days.

 

(For more information about the book, contact the author here: grouch@grouchyeditor.com)

 

 

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grouchyeditor.com house

 

Asleep While the World Ends

 

A funny thing happened when I woke up this morning. After enjoying coffee and a cigarette, and a quick check of the morning news, I remembered that I watched A House of Dynamite the night before.

“Oh, yeah,” I thought. “It was pretty good.” Then I forgot about it.

That’s strange because the Netflix movie, while I was watching it, kept me absorbed throughout. And yet … I don’t think it will stick with me. Not like Fail Safe. Not like Dr. Strangelove or Crimson Tide or any other nail-biter about nuclear war.

I suspect House doesn’t hold up because of its structure. Director Kathryn Bigelow mounts a fine production with numerous tense scenes. The setup: Someone has launched a nuclear weapon aimed at Chicago, and the U.S. government scrambles to decide what to do. In just 19 minutes.

But the script plays out this horrifying scenario in a nonlinear fashion. We see the same 19 minutes from the perspective of three different characters. Just when suspense should be reaching fever pitch, we cut back to witness the same events from someone else’s point of view. This undercuts tension.

The result is a gripping story that starts and stops, starts and stops. After the first segment, we know what will happen in the next playouts.

House is a good movie but, unlike Fail Safe, not a particularly memorable one. On the other hand, we do need periodic reminders that civil war and pandemics are not the only nightmares we have to be concerned about. The nukes are still there.

 

**

 

On a lighter note, Sabrina Carpenter guest-hosted Saturday Night Live.

For those of us who prefer not to listen to her hit song “Manchild,” we can watch her dance in her underwear, instead:

 

 

 

And look what demonic A.I. has done to poor Sabrina’s panties:

 

 

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Peace in the Middle East!

 

OK, everyone needs to settle down. Maybe I’ve seen too many episodes of Fauda on Netflix. Or maybe I’m so damn old that I can’t completely buy “peace in the Middle East.” Seen that movie before, and it never ends well.

These people have despised each other forever — almost literally.

Give it a few years. Then check back with me.

 

Editor’s note: This review was written Saturday, October 18. I woke up this morning, Sunday, October 19, to this “breaking news”:

 

 

 

**

 

Short review this week because I am busy battling Amazon in an attempt to get my book published on its site.

In the meantime, I noticed a hot actress named Cleopatra Coleman on Black Rabbit. I did some research and unearthed these clips of her in another film, which I will call Black Backside:

 

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Trump’s Achilles’ Heel

 

It’s probably too late — Donald Trump is 79 years old — but the dude really, really needs to stop currying favor with institutions that despise him.

What is blindingly obvious to most of us is to Donald the holy grail. He craves the respect and admiration of the New York Times, the Nobel Peace Prize committee, and every other once-venerable institution.

He grants interviews to the Times, then watches as the Old Gray Lady twists facts and stabs him in the back. He appeals to the Nobel voters — a group that cemented its liberal bias by awarding Barack Obama before he’d done a damn thing.

These people are never going to embrace you, Donald. They are hopelessly corrupt. Give it up.

 

**

 

Word Games

 

From Lingo Digest

 

Whenever there’s a dispute over the meaning of a word (often), I prefer to refer to the ultimate authority: an old-fashioned dictionary.

But I worry because, reportedly, the woke police have been busy changing the meanings of words and phrases in that formerly ultimate authority.

Here is a good task for artificial intelligence: scan a 2025 dictionary and compare it to, oh, say a 2015 dictionary. Find out how many definitions have discrepancies between the two.

In the meantime, I’m not buying any new dictionaries. I’ll use an old one.

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Deportation Dilemma

 

Well, this deportation uproar was predictable. Many people predicted it. I predicted it, years ago.

The left — “progressives,” “liberals,” “independents,” all of them voting for Democrat policies — created an illegal-immigrant crisis. Now they complain about the people trying to clean up their mess.

They are like children who, after making a cluttered nightmare of their bedroom, complain that their parents moved toys where they can’t find them while cleaning up the clutter.

Mistakes will be made by ICE. Some people will be detained who shouldn’t be detained. A lot of people will be inconvenienced. What would you expect when the mandate is to deport millions of illegal immigrants? An episode of Law & Order?

 

**

 

Potter Wars

 

I’d like to jump on the J.K. Rowling bandwagon over her takedown of Emma Watson. I’d really like to because I’m on Rowling’s side.

But from what I can tell, Rowling is still full of shit on a host of other liberal issues. 

 

**

 

Sellouts of the Week

 

Bill Burr, Louis C.K., and Dave Chappelle, all of whom decided they don’t have enough money and so decided to go kiss ass in Saudi Arabia.

 

**

 

X Files

 

Milo gave this girl a backhanded compliment, I guess:

 

 

So did I, I guess:

 

 

I thought her photo shoot looked like A.I. handiwork. Turns out I was (gasp!) incorrect. She posted the pic above to prove me wrong.

Not sure about the authenticity of the picture of her below:

 

 

**

 

 

Jonie tells it like it is. You won’t see her selling out in Saudi Arabia.

At least, not yet.

 

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