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13Jul

Extraterrestrial

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Half the battle of making a good romantic comedy comes with the casting. If your main characters are personable, the audience will forgive a host of ancillary sins: a silly story, clunky dialogue, dime-store special effects. Too many American rom-coms ask us to empathize with young people who are very pretty — and self-absorbed, and snarky, and spoiled. Self-awareness replaces charisma; insults pass for wit.

Extraterrestrial, a Spanish romantic comedy, features people behaving badly, absurd plot turns, and not much in the way of special effects, but none of that really matters because the protagonists are so darned appealing.

Julio (Julian Villagran) wakes up in bed after a night of heavy partying. But it’s not his own bed. And it’s not his wife who is in the kitchen making coffee. Those are the least of Julio’s morning surprises. When he and new bedmate Julia (Michelle Jenner) detect an eerie calm in her neighborhood and take a gander out the window, they spot a flying saucer hovering in the sky.

That UFO is a plot device, so don’t go into Extraterrestrial expecting to see any, well, extraterrestrials. Instead, expect to see Julia’s boyfriend (Raul Cimas), a good-natured oaf who is clueless about space invaders and girlfriend invaders alike, and expect to meet a comical endomorph named Angel (Carlos Areces), a bachelor who lives next door and who turns a budding love triangle into an even messier love quadrangle.

All four Madrilenians hole up in the apartment building. Paranoia, slapstick, and secret trysts ensue. The script, wobbly from the get-go, continues to fall apart as these dimwits do dimwitted things, but the whole thing is so good-hearted and unpredictable that it doesn’t really matter. Well, maybe just a bit. Grade: B

Director: Nacho Vigalondo Cast: Michelle Jenner, Julian Villagran, Carlos Areces, Raul Cimas, Miguel Noguera Release: 2012

Watch Trailers (click here)

08Jul

Blood Feud

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by Lisa Alther

Can you dislike a book, yet hold its author blameless? That’s the pickle when reviewing Blood Feud, writer Lisa Alther’s chronicle of the infamous Hatfield-McCoy feud. Alther’s problem – and the source of much reader frustration – is that so few records survive from the period of time (late 19th century) and location (West Virginia-Kentucky) of the decades-long family feud. As the author puts it, “Almost every incident in this feud has several conflicting versions that blame different participants, depending upon whether its source supported the Hatfields or the McCoys. But which conveys what really happened? No one can possibly know except the participants themselves, and they are all long dead, the truth buried with them.” But Alther perseveres with insight and, appropriately enough, gallows humor.

01Jul

Reviews in Short: July 2012

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Shallow Grave Three Edinburgh roommates (excuse me, “flatmates”) advertise for a fourth — and wind up with a suitcase full of money and a dead man in the house. Director Danny Boyle’s film is clever and unpredictable, but not particularly suspenseful. That’s because the leads are all so unsympathetic that, really, it’s hard to much care what happens to them. Release: 1994 Grade: B

*****

The Artist A valentine to old Hollywood — and not just silent movies, but that whole era comprising “the way they used to make ’em.” If you’ve seen A Star Is Born or Sunset Boulevard, then the basic storyline will be familiar, but who cares when it’s this well done? And kudos to a Jack Russell terrier named Uggie. Says a (subtitled) cop: “I’ll say one thing, he [the film’s hero] owes his life to that dog!” The filmmakers might owe a Best Picture Oscar to that dog. Release: 2011 Grade: A

*****

The Robber An ex-con finds that life on the outside is better when he runs marathon races, bangs a social worker … and robs banks. The robberies and chases, when they come, are exciting, but for a movie about bank heists and running, too much of The Robber moves at a snail’s pace. Compounding the funereal tone of the film is a romance between our bad-guy hero (Andreas Lust) and his girlfriend (Franziska Weisz), both of whom exude all the heat and passion of an Austrian winter. Release: 2010 Grade: C+

*****

The Illusionist Proving that animated films aren’t just for kids, this whimsical ode to fatherhood is gorgeous and, yes, sentimental, but not overly so. Based on an unproduced script by legendary French comic Jacques Tati, the story concerns a down-on-his-luck magician whose travels through Europe in 1959 land him an unexpected ward: a doe-eyed Scottish lass named Alice. It’s a quiet movie, nearly silent, but its striking images and simple story might leave you believing that magic exists, after all. Release: 2010 Grade: B+

*****

Cronos On the plus side, Guillermo del Toro’s debut feature is visually arresting and boasts a few memorable scenes. But the movie’s story, in which an antiques dealer and his young granddaughter share a secret about a magical artifact, is paper-thin. The result is fantasy that’s moderately absorbing, but never scary and not nearly as touching as it wants to be. Release: 1993 Grade: B-

*****

Evil Dead II OK, so maybe you have to be “in the mood” for it, but if you are, Sam Raimi’s sequel to The Evil Dead is about as close as Hollywood ever got to a live-action Looney Tune, melding horror and slapstick with an emphasis on laughs. And if they gave out Oscars for performances in low-budget splatter flicks, lantern-jawed Bruce Campbell would be a shoo-in. Campbell’s priceless mugging, Raimi’s frenetic camerawork, and some hilariously hokey special effects ensure that this is still the best “cabin in the woods” movie ever made. Release: 1987 Grade: B+

26Jun

Arabesque (1966)

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Arabesque is one of those entertaining blasts from the past that gets little respect. Riding the ’60s wave of James Bond-inspired romps, it seems to fit the definition of “second best”: It was director Stanley Donen’s second spy thriller, after Charade, and how could Donen be expected to top that? Its male star, Gregory Peck, was a bit long in the tooth to be darting through dark alleys and wooing sexy femme fatales (in 1966, Peck was 50; by contrast, James Bond portrayer Sean Connery was just 35). And its female lead, Sophia Loren, was … OK, I take it back, because there was nothing “second best” about Loren.

Here’s what I like about Arabesque:

1) The teaming of Peck and Loren. Peck was probably miscast as a flip Oxford professor — his drug-addled bicycle ride on a busy London highway is more bizarre than thrilling — and Loren seems more interested in her Dior wardrobe than in the movie itself, but they both exude star power, and their sense of fun is contagious.

2) The score by Henry Mancini. Was there a better film composer working in the 1960s? Think of the Pink Panther films, or any Blake Edwards drama, and it’s impossible not to also think of Mancini’s catchy theme music.

3) Arabesque’s plot is complicated: Professor Peck gets ensnarled with warring Arabs who are desperately trying to decode some hieroglyphics. But the plot is just there to service more important elements, like the Peck-Loren pairing, ’60s-cool London locations, and a string of madcap chase scenes.

And finally, if 55-year-old Cary Grant could scamper over Mount Rushmore in North by Northwest, why shouldn’t 50-year-old Gregory Peck ride a bicycle? Grade: B+

Director: Stanley Donen Cast: Gregory Peck, Sophia Loren, Alan Badel, Kieron Moore, Carl Duering, John Merivale, Duncan Lamont Release: 1966

Watch the Trailer (click here)

20Jun

Tamara Drewe

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Is it just me, or did bedroom farces — a Hollywood fixture for as long as there’s been a Hollywood — lose some of their appeal when the characters began actually using their bedrooms? If Doris Day had hopped into the sack with Tony Randall or, more likely, if Rock Hudson had hopped into the sack with Tony Randall, wouldn’t that have put a damper on their pillow talk?

In today’s romantic comedies, there’s no Annette turning green when Frankie shares his surfboard with a blonde, and no Frankie freaking out when Annette smiles at a lifeguard. Movies don’t ask, “Will she, or won’t she?” Now they ask, “Did she do it with the whole team, or just with the starting lineup?”

In Tamara Drewe, the title character shares her bed with nearly all of her male co-stars … but gosh darn it, I like the movie, anyway. That’s because, at heart, the film resembles those old Doris-and-Rock romances — but with a British spin and a bit more wit.

Besides, how can anyone dislike a movie that takes place at a hotbed of glamour, vanity, and repressed lust: a “writer’s retreat”?

Into this nest of constipated curmudgeons and academic boors bursts Tamara (Gemma Arterton), a local girl drawn back to rural Ewedown after the death of her mother. Tamara, a one-time ugly duckling nicknamed “Beakie” in her school days, recently underwent rhinoplasty and is quite happy with her new nose. The local men — all of them — notice much more than Tamara’s nose. So does a visiting rock star. And so do two troublemaking teen girls (young Jessica Barden and Charlotte Christie, stealing every scene they appear in).

Loosely based on a graphic novel, which in turn was inspired by Thomas Hardy’s Far from the Madding Crowd, Tamara Drewe also apes the formula of those ’60s Hollywood comedies: Romance wants to bloom, but misunderstandings and comical obstacles (including those bratty teenage girls) conspire to keep lovers apart. Everyone behaves badly or stupidly, but we don’t care because they are all so bloody likeable. Well, most of them are. Grade: B+

Director: Stephen Frears Cast: Gemma Arterton, Roger Allam, Bill Camp, Dominic Cooper, Luke Evans, Tamsin Greig, Jessica Barden, Charlotte Christie, James Naughtie, John Bett Release: 2010

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17Jun

Jane Eyre

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by Charlotte Bronte

Until now, my exposure to Jane Eyre has been limited to four-letter answers in many a crossword puzzle. I thought of Bronte’s 1847 novel as one of those stuffy classics that I really should read – someday. So now that the deed is done, I’ve learned that the book has pleasant surprises … and also that it confirms some of my worst suspicions about 19th-century “chick lit.”

Good: By far the biggest surprise is a creepy subplot about a mysterious entity that lives on the third floor of Thornfield, a family mansion that serves as most of the story’s setting. This … thing, conjuring images of Linda Blair at her demonic worst in The Exorcist, likes to pay unexpected, middle-of-the-night visits to sleeping guests on the floor below.

Bad: There is much character analysis by narrator Jane, who goes on ad nauseam about everyone’s good qualities, bad qualities, religious beliefs, social standing, grooming habits, forehead shape, and bristly eyebrows. But that’s nothing compared to poor, repressed Jane’s endless self-analysis and, at times, self-pity. Can you say, “inner turmoil”?

Good: The best novels allow you to completely escape your own world, and there’s no greater diversion from the 21st century than 19th-century literature. Bronte’s England is at once familiar and foreign, and it sucks you in.

Bad: Jane Eyre is all about character, which is fine, but its plot doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. There are amazing coincidences (Jane, near death in an unfamiliar part of the country, just happens to be rescued … by a man who turns out to be her cousin), and contrived plot developments (a character who creates an obstacle for two lovers commits suicide, thereby clearing the way for a happy ending).

14Jun

Count Yorga, Vampire (1970)

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Last week, I watched a ghost story called The Woman in Black. It’s a $15 million studio production, designed as a post-Harry Potter vehicle for superstar Daniel Radcliffe. It was pretty and polished, but I doubt if I’ll remember a thing about it in three months.

Forty-two years ago, I sat in a small, dingy cinema in rural Minnesota and watched a monster movie called Count Yorga, Vampire. Its budget was $64,000 and it was originally conceived as a soft-core horror film. It was el cheapo, to be sure, but Yorga made an impression on me that’s lasted four decades.

Thanks for the memories (or nightmares), Robert Quarry and Bob Kelljan. Thank who, you ask? Good question. Quarry, the actor who played the title character, and Kelljan, the film’s writer-director, don’t have stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. They weren’t exactly hot properties back in 1970, either.

“We had just four crew members — that was it,” said Quarry in a 2004 interview. “There was one makeup man and a few guys with little arc lights. You say the film was ‘dark and mysterious.’ The film was dark and mysterious because we didn’t have enough lights!”

Kelljan didn’t have much money, but he had something better, something that the makers of Woman in Black apparently lacked: creativity and a passion for his movie. If you can overlook Yorga’s cheesy production values — admittedly, no easy feat — the film has some genuinely scary moments. I’m thinking of three scenes in particular: one involving a couple stranded in a van on an isolated road; a second featuring a woman and her … well, what used to be her cat; and a third in which the suave, menacing count has a final showdown with his nemesis, a doctor played by veteran TV actor Roger Perry.

Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee be damned, Quarry’s mocking, triumphant bloodsucker in that climactic scene is as good as it gets. Said a reviewer in the New York Times: “Robert Quarry [is] the best chief vampire I have seen in years.”

The acting is all-around respectable — something not common in B-movies of the period — and Kelljan’s script was even seminal in one respect: In having Yorga take up residence in modern-day Los Angeles, the cinematic vampire was at last removed from his previous haunts in 19th-century Europe. Fans of Twilight and True Blood can thank Kelljan for the immigration.

At times, the bare-bones production values even work in the film’s favor, because we aren’t distracted by Hollywood gloss. Yorga’s retro scenery, jerky edits, and scratchy soundtrack are more realistic than many of today’s “found footage” productions. Grade: B

Director: Bob Kelljan Cast: Robert Quarry, Roger Perry, Michael Murphy, Michael Macready, Donna Anders, Judy Lang, Edward Walsh, Julie Conners, Sybil Scotford, Marsha Jordan Release: 1970

Watch the Trailer (click here)

09Jun

Prometheus

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Well, at least he gave it the old college try. Ridley Scott, the man who gifted us with the sci-fi classics Alien and Blade Runner, is back at age 74 to see if he can’t make it a triple treat.

Prometheus has most of the requisite ingredients: top-notch actors, state-of-the-art special effects and, from Scott himself, energetic pacing and some memorable set pieces. But his movie suffers from that old bugaboo, a lackluster script.

The film contains a surprising amount of recycled, stale material, both from the Alien franchise and from myriad other science-fiction films. Scott, rather than capitalize on what made his own Alien so good — creepiness, claustrophobia, and characters — instead borrows from its sequel, James Cameron’s Aliens, with its emphasis on action and special effects. Instead of great Scott, we get so-so Cameron.

When I think back to the original Alien, I think of Sigourney Weaver’s “Ripley” battling both male chauvinism and interstellar horrors. When I think back to Blade Runner, I think of Rutger Hauer’s replicant, feeling the rain stream down his cheek, smiling wistfully, and saying, “Time … to die.” There are no such memorable characters or moments in Prometheus.

There are, however, dazzling sets and kick-ass effects. The $120 million budget and spectacular European scenery are put to good use.

As in the original Alien, this film begins with a small crew on a mission to deep space. Ancient rock drawings, discovered in a cave on Earth, appear to depict a star map, and so a hybrid crew of scientists and at least one evil corporate-type is dispatched to discover the map’s message. Or, at least some of them are. If that sounds familiar, that’s because it is.

The movie does raise intriguing questions. Did life originate on Earth, or was it brought here? Do we share DNA with life elsewhere in the universe? Is “God” benevolent, hostile, or even godlike?

Films like Contact dealt with these issues intelligently. Expecting Ridley Scott, or anyone, to come up with answers to those questions is, of course, expecting too much. But I don’t think it’s asking too much to expect a bit more originality from this movie. Or some characters worth remembering. Grade: B

Director: Ridley Scott Cast: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie Release: 2012

Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

07Jun

Revanche (2008)

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In recent years, just about every Hollywood thriller is expected to have “the twist.” At some point near the climax of the film, we discover that nothing is as it seemed, or no one is as we thought.

Problem is, very few of these twists hold up to scrutiny. Most of them are ridiculous or, at the very least, implausible. I walked out of The Sixth Sense in 1999 and thought to myself, “Wow — they really got me!” Today, I generally soak in the obligatory twist and think, “What a load of bunk!”

There are twists in the Austrian thriller Revanche, but they are so subtle, so realistic and organic, flowing naturally from events and characters, that they really shouldn’t be called “twists.” They are unexpected dramatic turns.

The plot: An ex-con brings his girlfriend along as he robs a bank. Tragedy ensues. The action shifts to the countryside, where the robber takes refuge with his elderly grandfather, who happens to be neighbor to a cop and the cop’s unhappy wife.

What follows is slow-paced by Hollywood standards, yet it’s always absorbing — and often unexpected. Grade: B+

Director: Gotz Spielmann Cast: Johannes Krisch, Irina Potapenko, Andreas Lust, Ursula Strauss, Johannes Thanheiser, Hanno Poschl Release: 2008

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06Jun

Take This Waltz

Posted in Books, Movies, TV & Web, Movies | 1 Comment

How to Make a Movie That Will Alienate Men

Your story should be about a woman (Michelle Williams) who is torn between two lovers: a solid-but-dull husband (Seth Rogen), and an unattached male model– er, “artist” (Luke Kirby), living next door.
To antagonize the straight males in your audience, make sure that both the husband and the lover boy have annoying and/or ludicrous personal traits, so that we don’t want to identify with either of them. For example, depict the husband as a man-child who enjoys speaking baby talk to his wife and whose idea of foreplay is similar to that of Little Billy Brat back in third grade, the kid who enjoyed pulling girls’ pigtails.
Include a scene in which women receive “aqua fitness” instruction from a Richard Simmons wannabe.
Just to be mean, include a shower scene in which Williams and sexy comedienne Sarah Silverman are completely nude, and then — just when you finally have the attention of your male audience — sabotage the whole thing by tossing in full-frontal nudity by a group of elderly, obese actresses.
Create a cute, cloying occupation for the moon-faced lover boy. Lover boy is an artist and therefore must be “sensitive.” But he must also eat. To put vittles on his plate, give lover boy a part-time job — hauling a rickshaw. In Toronto. In Canada.

Include pretty pictures of things like lighthouses, sunsets, and painted toenails. Especially the painted toenails.
Include dialogue like this: “Sometimes I’m walking along the street, and a shaft of sunlight falls in a certain way across the pavement, and I just wanna cry.”
Or like this: “I just kissed the top of your head, ever so gently, and then I kissed your eyelids and they fluttered underneath my lips … just a little.”
Include not one, but two scenes in which the wife — apparently as a test to find out how much her two men love her — sits down on a toilet and pees in their presence. In the only instance in this movie in which both males display good sense, they both walk out on her.

I didn’t say much about the plot. Williams’s young wife feels trapped after just five years in her marriage to loyal puppy Rogen. Will they live happily ever after, or will life interfere?

Hold on … that was also the plot of Williams’s 2010 film, Blue Valentine. Blue Valentine was a great movie about a young couple going through a dreadful time. Take This Waltz is a dreadful movie about a young couple (and heterosexual men in the audience) going through a dreadful time. Grade: D+

Director: Sarah Polley Cast: Seth Rogen, Michelle Williams, Sarah Silverman, Jennifer Podemski, Luke Kirby, Aaron Abrams, Vanessa Coelho, Graham Abbey Release: 2012

Watch Trailers (click here)