Category: Books, Movies, TV & Web

Antibirth

grouchyeditor.com Birth

 

Antibirth reminds me of those 1980s late-show curiosities in which the characters are frequently stoned and, evidently, the films’ directors had also been smoking something. Think Re-Animator and B-movies of that ilk. Danny Perez’s sloppy, gory, hodgepodge of horror has a campy plot – something is growing in the heroine’s womb, and it doesn’t seem to be human – but it’s often a hoot, thanks to an anything-goes performance from Natasha Lyonne as the pregnant stoner and a tone that evokes the best (or worst) of those wacky late-show relics. Release: 2016  Grade: B

 

*****

 

The Shallows

 

If you’re in the mood for some mindless summer fun – and who isn’t in the dead of winter? – you could do a lot worse than The Shallows, in which poor Blake Lively gets stranded on a rapidly submerging rock while a circling shark eyes her for dinner. After a dubious first act, in which the director seems more interested in filming Lively’s bikini-clad, muscular buttocks than in creating suspense, the movie delivers some solid, if also ridiculous, thrills. But hey, “jump scares” are allowed when it’s a shark movie you’re watching.  Release: 2016 Grade: B

 

 

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Note:  The Grouch recently caught an airing of the hospital thriller Coma on TCM, and he was overcome with nostalgia. This was the film that led to Grouch’s first-ever movie review, which was published in the April 14, 1978 edition of the St. Cloud State University Chronicle.  We thought it would be fun to reprint that old review, verbatim, so here you go:

 

Typical thriller ‘Coma’ comes to life in second half

 

 

Somewhere around the middle of this picture, Coma snaps out of it and really begins to move.

Up until that point, the only things saving the film from a slow death are the dynamite musical score by Jerry Goldsmith (remember The Omen), and an equally impressive performance by Genevieve Bujold as the heroine. Bujold is given a role that we’ve all seen before in countless thrillers: a woman discovers an evil secret, yet no one, not even her boyfriend, believes her when she tries to tell them about it. They even send her to a psychiatrist.

Bujold manages to make her character unique and she succeeds in gaining audience acceptance.

Susan Wheeler (Bujold) is a surgical resident who shares living quarters with her boyfriend, also a doctor, played by Michael Douglas. They both practice medicine at Boston Memorial Hospital, one of the best in the country.

Things are pretty much business as usual in the hospital until Susan’s best friend lapses into a coma during what should have been a minor operation. Suspicious, Susan begins to investigate and discovers records of 12 supposedly routine operations that resulted in comas. But why? Telling would ruin the suspense of Coma, even though it doesn’t get all that suspenseful until the last half of the film.

Meanwhile, director-writer Michael Crichton tries to hold his audience’s attention by various other methods. He tries to revolt the audience with several “hamburger” shots of brain slices, slabs of liver, etc. He tries to titillate them with shots of Bujold scrubbing herself behind a translucent shower door. The picture becomes fun in its second half.

 

 

Someone thinks that Susan has learned a little bit too much. Her investigation has led her to the Jefferson Institute, where nurse Elizabeth Ashley says “we merely provide care as inexpensively as possible” for thousands of coma patients. Government subsidized, the institute is a chilling edifice that, strangely enough, is staffed by no more than five persons, including nurse Ashley. It is here that Susan finally solves her mystery.

Aside from Bujold’s excellent performance, the rest of the cast seems less than inspired. Douglas does all right as the boyfriend – we’re never quite sure if we can trust him or not – but Richard Widmark as the chief of surgery is a little too obvious right from the start. Elizabeth Ashley comes off like she is doing an impression of Gale Sondergaard in an old Sherlock Holmes movie.

One word of caution: if you already have a fear of hospitals and/or doctors, you probably don’t want to catch this flick.

 

 

Director: Michael Crichton Cast: Genevieve Bujold, Michael Douglas, Elizabeth Ashley, Rip Torn, Richard Widmark, Lois Chiles, Hari Rhodes, Gary Barton, Frank Downing, Richard Doyle  Release: 1978   Grade: B+

 

 

Watch the Trailer  (click here)

 

 

Oddly, this screen capture of Bujold showering did not appear with the original review.

 

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by Kurt Vonnegut

grouchyeditor.com Monkey

 

I like short stories just fine, thank you. I like to read them and (gasp!) I like to write them. My favorite Stephen King story, for example, isn’t one of his famed novels; it’s a haunting little gem called “The Last Rung on the Ladder,” which can be found in the King collection Night Shift. But short stories have an obvious downside: They are often too short. Too … slight. It’s like having one bite of juicy shrimp and then being told you can’t have any more.

Kurt Vonnegut is one of my favorite writers. The stories in Monkey are from his early years (1950s-1960s), so some of them feel dated, and others feel like the product of a young, unpolished writer. But none of them are dull and many of them are thought-provoking. They are the literary equivalent of a TV show of that same era, The Twilight Zone – stories with a moral, often humorous, and frequently laced with Vonnegut’s favorite genre, science fiction.

 

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The Best Offer

grouchyeditor.com Hoeks

 

Geoffrey Rush plays an aloof, eccentric art auctioneer who gets more than he bargained for when an agoraphobic young heiress (Sylvia Hoeks) asks him to sell off her rare collection. I wonder how I might have reacted to The Best Offer had I not seen similar plots – in particular a certain Hitchcock film that I shall not name lest I reveal Offer’s twist ending. The movie is handsomely produced, well acted, and lovely to listen to, but it’s also a story that telegraphs its surprises, especially if you’ve seen similar fare.  Release: 2013  Grade: B+

 

*****

 

Don’t Breathe

grouchyeditor.com Breathe

 

Some of the best nail-biters have simple plots. In Burning Bright, a Bengal tiger terrorizes a young woman and her autistic brother in a house. That’s the plot. In Black Water, a hungry crocodile terrorizes three tourists trapped in an Australian swamp. That’s the plot.

For about an hour, Don’t Breathe reminded me of those low-budget, efficient thrillers because it keeps things simple: Three small-time burglars are surprised when their chosen victim, a blind war vet, turns the tables on them after they break into his house. That’s the plot. The movie is taut and genuinely chilling. And then … well, that wasn’t good enough for writer/director Fede Alvarez, who decides to add a little Cujo here, a little Silence of the Lambs there. Should have left well enough alone. Release: 2016  Grade: B

 

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by Gay Talese

grouchyeditor.com Voyeur

 

I’m thinking the title of this book should really be “Rationalization.” Its subject, a peeping Tom from Colorado named Gerald Foos, rationalized his perverted pastime by telling himself he was a sex researcher, in the mode of Masters and Johnson, documenting his motel guests’ sexual proclivities in the name of behavioral science. The book’s author, Gay Talese, rationalized writing about Foos because he’s a journalist and he thought the middle-aged motel owner was an intriguing subject. I rationalized reading The Voyeur’s Motel because Talese is a respected, renowned writer.

I assume you are reading this review because you wonder what I think about what Talese thinks about what Foos thought about his guests while he crouched in the attic of the Manor House Motel, peering through a ceiling vent and taking copious notes – and frequently masturbating.

Well … whatever. I’m afraid Foos’s lurid diary comes off as less Kinsey Report, more Playboy Report, as we read his descriptions of one sleazy motel-room encounter after another.

But I learned a lot. That’s my rationalization.

 

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by Jonathan Franzen

grouchyeditor.com Corrections

 

Confession: I’ve resisted this book for years, in part because its author, Jonathan Franzen, has a reputation (deserved or not) for being something of a jerk. He’s not exactly Mr. Warmth and Cheer on his talk-show appearances, and then there was that little issue with Oprah Winfrey.

Also, reviews informed me that The Corrections’ plot concerns a middle-class family of five in the late-twentieth-century Midwest, with Depression-era parents and grown kids who flew the coop. I happen to hail from a middle-class family of five in the late-twentieth-century Midwest, with Depression-era parents and grown kids who flew the coop. I thought the book might hit a little too close to home, and so I took a pass.

My mistake.

Franzen is a spectacularly gifted writer. His insights and prose are endlessly inventive. He deftly mixes elements of Shakespearean tragedy with humor straight out of Kurt Vonnegut. He chooses the perfect word, the perfect phrase to illustrate his scenes. The major theme, in which members of The Greatest Generation and The Me Generation collide with societal change and with each other, is important to many Americans. National Book Award voters honored The Corrections in 2001, and justifiably so.

However … this was a novel that I admired more than I enjoyed. The characters, although fully realized and recognizable, are not what I’d call endearing, and the reader is asked to spend 566 pages with them.  Unless you grew up in a family much like the Lamberts – (ahem)The Corrections might engage your mind but not so much your soul.

 

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Synopsis: The first season of Netflix’s lavish drama about England’s royal family focuses on Elizabeth II, from her childhood through the 1950s.

 

When you watch any movie, you have to engage a suspension of disbelief. I consider Jaws a fairly realistic adventure film, but if you stop to think about it, is it really likely that a gigantic shark would menace three men in a boat for days on end? Similarly, docudramas that claim to be based on true stories take liberties to make the story more entertaining; watching Woodward and Bernstein sit at typewriters for hours and hours might be factual but, well ….

 

2

 

And then there are shows like Netflix’s The Crown, a new series about Britain’s royal family. There’s no question that it’s well-produced (the budget is Netflix’s priciest ever), well-shot, well-acted, and well-written. It’s an absorbing piece of showmanship – but man, do you ever have to suspend disbelief. Or maybe that’s the wrong kind of suspension: You have to suppress your politics. At least I did.

The Crown asks you to forget that the soap opera you are watching is about people who have problems that are alien to the vast majority of viewers. If your neighbor’s love affair runs into insurmountable obstacles, she cannot console herself by throwing lavish parties for herself at a remote castle in Scotland. If my significant other cheats on me, I am not allowed to mope in perpetuity, because I still have to feed myself and pay the bills.

On the other hand, if you are royal family and have your every physical need and want catered to, at public expense, don’t expect much sympathy when your personal life doesn’t go exactly as planned.

There. That was my obligatory American rant.

 

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If you can suspend your politics – something that might come easier to Brits than to their country cousins across the pond — The Crown will likely suck you in. The sets are spectacular, the attention to period detail is impressive, and it’s near-impossible to resist watching John Lithgow sputter and bellow as an elderly Winston Churchill.

Being a member of the British monarchy is such an odd, unnatural way to go through life – gilded slavery, at times – that it can’t help but be compelling fantasy. Especially for us commoners.   Grade: B+

 

 

Creator: Peter Morgan  Cast: Claire Foy, Matt Smith, Vanessa Kirby, Jeremy Northam, John Lithgow, Victoria Hamilton, James Hillier, Rip Torrens, Ben Miles, Jared Harris  Premiere: 2016

 

6

 

Watch Trailers (click here)

 

7

 

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The Tribe

grouchyeditor.com Tribe

 

If you’re going to make a 130-minute film with no dialogue and no subtitles, your movie had better have everything else working in its favor. The Tribe does just that. Ukrainian filmmaker Myroslav Slaboshpytskyi’s drama about young deaf-mutes drawn into a life of crime is almost always absorbing – even though the actors “speak” only in sign language. Scenes do occasionally go on a bit too long, but overall this is a fascinating glimpse into a mostly silent, frequently violent world. Release: 2014  Grade: B+ 

 

**

 

The Wailing

grouchyeditor.com Wailing

 

Locals begin committing bizarre crimes after a mysterious Japanese man moves to their South Korean village, and it’s up to some unsophisticated cops to investigate. The good news: The movie is well-shot, and the final half-hour is both scary and surprising. (Think you’ve figured out the twist? Think again.) The bad news: You do have to sit through two hours of standard-issue horror to reach that entertaining wrap-up.  Release: 2016  Grade: B

 

**

 

Midnight Special

grouchyeditor.com Midnight

 

Midnight Special starts off well enough. Two men abduct an 8-year-old boy from a religious cult, and the three of them flee from cult members and FBI agents chasing them on the back roads of Texas. But there’s a catch: The boy is a willing participant in his own abduction, and the trio have a plan and an unspoken goal. It’s all very tense and mysterious. And then the story goes all “Kid with Supernatural Powers” on us and gets sillier and sillier until, at the film’s climax, I was thinking of Disney theme parks and Tinker Bell – a far cry from the dark and suspenseful first hour.  Release: 2016  Grade: B-

 

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Weiner

grouchyeditor.com Weiner

 

In case you haven’t had your fill of sleazy politics this election season, you can always check out this documentary, in which a film crew tailed disgraced politician Anthony Weiner and his wife Huma Abedin during Weiner’s doomed, 2013 mayoral campaign. Lots of lessons here: why good people don’t want to run for public office, why we as voters get the leaders we deserve, and so on. My takeaway is that we haven’t heard the last from this relatively young power couple — for better or worse. Release: 2016  Grade: B+

 

**

 

Sing Street

sing-street

 

Sing Street is a minor miracle: a teen romance with minimal snark and cynicism, a feel-good movie with smarts. I wouldn’t have thought that possible in 2016. The story will be familiar to anyone who’s watched teen comedies – outcast Dublin kid starts a band to win the attention of a cute girl – but the characters are so personable, the dialogue so amusing, and the tone so good-natured that any lack of originality is forgiven. Oh, and the music isn’t half bad.  Release: 2016  Grade: A-

 

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Gringo

grouchyeditor.com Gringo

 

If you think selecting a president this year is akin to choosing between having a root canal or a colonoscopy, it could be worse. We could be stuck with Libertarian candidate John McAfee, the software mogul who wound up accused of rape and orchestrating not one but two murders in Belize. Documentarian Nanette Burstein interviewed McAfee’s hired thugs, his victims, and his teenage “girlfriends” who observed as he turned one part of Central America into his own Heart of Darkness.  

It’s hard to say which is more stomach-turning: the way McAfee exploited poor Belizeans, or the way America’s fawning business and tech communities have welcomed him back to the U.S.A.  Release: 2016  Grade: B+

 

**

 

Amanda Knox

grouchyeditor.com Knox

 

Amanda Knox is not a particularly likeable woman – but that doesn’t necessarily make her a murderer. After watching Netflix’s new documentary about the Seattle woman’s trials and tribulations in the Italian justice system, I remain as clueless as ever to her guilt or innocence in the death of roommate Meredith Kercher. But I do know this: The movie reaffirms my belief that I never want to find myself on trial in Italy – especially with flamboyant, egotistical prosecutor Giuliano Mignini running the show. Release: 2016  Grade: B+

 

**

 

Rams

grouchyeditor.com Rams

 

Two Icelandic farmers – feuding brothers who haven’t spoken to each other in 40 years – find their livelihoods threatened when disease strikes their beloved sheep stock. Rams is one of those “little” films in which nothing much seems to happen – but it’s so unusual that it could stay with you for a long time.  Release: 2015  Grade: B

 

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