The Grouchy Editor

I’m not sure if this is a boast or a confession, but I have read almost all of Janet Evanovich’s “Stephanie Plum” books.  Ten years ago, I would have been proud of that statement, but in recent years, as the quality of the series has declined, well, not so much.

When it was announced that Hollywood was going to produce a movie based on the first book in the Plum series (there are 18 now, plus a few novellas), One for the Money, fans of the franchise should have had two concerns:  Would the actress playing bumbling Stephanie, the heart and soul of the books, capture her goofy charisma?  And would the film do justice to the screwball comic tone of the novels?

The answer to the first question is “not to worry.”  Katherine Heigl, who has a talent for choosing lousy scripts, nails the big three musts for an actress playing Stephanie:  She’s the right mix of klutz, good girl, and sex kitten as the Trenton, New Jersey broad who, because of mounting bills and a hungry pet hamster, reluctantly takes a job as a bounty hunter.

Alas, the answer to the second question is, “not so much.”  As directed by Julie Anne Robinson, One for the Money is a curiously flat film.  There is a scene involving Stephanie and an FTA (“failure to appear” at court), an elderly exhibitionist, that should be hilarious.  Instead the sequence, in which Steph transports the wrinkly geezer and his “twig and berries” to police headquarters, is just … peculiar.

The film’s climax, involving dead bodies,  gunplay, and the unmasking of a villain, is similarly lifeless.  In a movie like this, everything needs to click.  It requires pacing and it requires chemistry.  It needs to be more like Charade.

The supporting players (of vital importance to fans of the books) range from good enough to “what was the casting director thinking?”  Debbie Reynolds, as Grandma Mazur, is OK but no more than that.  Lula should have been played by Gabourey Sidibe.  Vinnie should have been played by Danny DeVito.  The movie should have been better.          Grade:  C-

Director:  Julie Anne Robinson   Cast:  Katherine Heigl, Jason O’Mara, Daniel Sunjata, John Leguizamo, Sherri Shepherd, Debbie Reynolds, Debra Monk, Nate Mooney, Adam Paul, Ana Reeder   Release:  2012

        Watch Trailers (click here)

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

I like my movies odd, and I like my movies sexy.  In general, when I review an odd, sexy movie, I want to be kind because I don’t want filmmakers to stop producing them.  But there is a limit to my tolerance, and freshman director Julia Leigh’s Sleeping Beauty is too long on odd, too short on sexy.

Beauty is about a young woman named Lucy (Emily Browning) who is psychologically damaged.  In fact, everyone Lucy encounters — an old boyfriend, her co-workers at a temp job, the landlords with whom she lives — is damaged in one way or another, and is either hostile, bitter, or emotionally impenetrable.  So Lucy, who is nothing if not experimental, takes a new job as a living blow-up doll for rich old men to play with (but never to “penetrate,” as we are constantly reminded by the madam of the high-end brothel where Lucy goes to work).

Leigh’s movie is basically a 100-minute peep show in which we spy on Lucy and her peculiar acquaintances.  It’s also an Australian production with French art-film pretensions.  When someone pours a glass of tea or wipes down a tabletop, Leigh’s camera lingers portentously.  There is much unspoken angst in the film — but not to worry, because all of that somber silence is soon interrupted by kinky sex.

If I didn’t know better (actually, I don’t), I’d wager that Sleeping Beauty was financed by a committee of dirty old men, several of whom had it in their contracts that they got to appear in scenes with the fetching Ms. Browning.  How else to explain numerous scenes in which these geezers, their twigs-and-berries on full display, spoon with the naked and unconscious girl, or mount her (drugged) body, or recklessly toss her onto the floor?

This movie is promoted as an “erotic drama,” but while watching it I found myself empathizing with one of Lucy’s customers, who complains: “The only way I can get a hard-on these days is if I swallow a truckload of Viagra.”      Grade:  C-

Director:  Julia Leigh   Cast:  Emily Browning, Rachael Blake, Ewen Leslie, Peter Carroll, Chris Haywood, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Bridgette Barrett, Hannah Bella Bowden, Les Chantery  Release:  2011

   Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

I don’t know about you, but when I board a rollercoaster, the real thrills don’t come from the car’s frenzied drops and loops.  I get my chills earlier, during the ascent as the train ominously clicks, wheezes, and grinds its way to the highest point.  The anticipation, or dread, of what’s about to happen — that’s the best part.

I can’t think of a better analogy than a nail-biting coaster climb to describe Ti West’s directorial style.  West, whose low budget The House of the Devil was surprisingly effective, knows how to turn the screws of suspense.  The Innkeepers, West’s new haunted-hotel movie, doesn’t provide many payoffs to his screw-tightening, but when the jolts do come, they’re nasty.

Sara Paxton stars as Claire, a young woman stuck in a dead-end job at the Yankee Pedlar, a 19th-century hotel preparing to lock its doors after one more weekend of business.  Claire shares hotel duties with fellow slacker Luke (Pat Healy), a nerdish cynic who relieves boredom at the front desk by working on his passion, a Web site devoted to the paranormal.  The only other (apparent) inhabitants of the Yankee Pedlar are a mother and her child, and a sharp-tongued actress (Kelly McGillis) in town for a speaking engagement.

Not much happens in the first hour of The Innkeepers, which is both a good thing and a bad thing.  It’s good because, unlike so many “young-people-in-peril” flicks, in this one we get to know our two heroes and, also unlike the youngsters in so many horror movies, they are actually worth knowing.  Paxton, especially, is adorable as awkward tomboy Claire, who must summon her reserves of courage.  (It’s curious that no matter how many chillers we see with “No! — Don’t go into that room!” scenes, they still work in the hands of a skilled director.)  There is also an amusing bit involving Claire, a leaky garbage bag, and a dumpster.  It has absolutely nothing to do with ghosts or the plot, but it’s priceless, one of the best scenes in the film.

The movie does take a long time to deliver the goods.  The characters, likeable as they are, can’t carry a full hour of thin material.  But for what it is — a small movie intent on delivering shivers — it’s a nice ride.       Grade:  B

Director:  Ti West   Cast:  Sara Paxton, Pat Healy, Kelly McGillis, George Riddle, Alison Bartlett, Lena Dunham  Release:  2011

Watch Trailers and Clip  (click here)

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

It’s been years since I last watched director Sam Peckinpah’s seminal drama Straw Dogs, but it’s the kind of film that you don’t easily forget.

Peckinpah’s thriller provoked howls of outrage in 1971 for its violent content, in particular a prolonged rape scene in which the main female character, Amy (Susan George), appears to take some pleasure from her assault.  Critics accused Peckinpah of misogyny.  If the macho director’s goal was to generate controversy, he succeeded big time.

I don’t presume to know if “no always means no,” but I do know that the sexual question mark in Peckinpah’s movie — did Amy prefer her alpha-male assailant (an ex-boyfriend) to her pacifist husband David (Dustin Hoffman)?  — was key to the film’s climax.  When the couple’s home comes under siege by the rapist and his thuggish pals, suspense was derived from audience uncertainty about whether David and Amy could work together long enough to survive.

Director Rod Lurie’s remake dispenses with any questions about the pivotal rape scene.  It’s clear this time that Amy (Kate Bosworth) wants no part of it.  This is a politically safe viewpoint, but it also subtracts tension from the remake’s final act in which, once again, the couple’s home comes under attack.

But Lurie’s Straw Dogs is still effective because of the universal conflicts it explores.  When Hollywood players David and Amy return to Amy’s hometown in rural Mississippi, the couple ignites a powder keg of culture clashes — city vs. country, privileged vs. poor, liberal vs. conservative, North vs. South, and atheist vs. believer.  Pretty boy David (James Marsden) is a lightning rod for Blackwater’s football-loving, beer-guzzling good ol’ boys. And Amy is a source of constant temptation.

Marsden is convincing as a proponent of the “can’t we all just get along” school of thought, but he lacks Hoffman’s charisma.  Bosworth is a credible small-town-girl-turned-TV-star, but she also projects a bland personality.  Hoffman and George were unforgettable.  I’ll remember them, but I won’t remember this remake.       Grade:  B-

Director:  Rod Lurie   Cast:  James Marsden, Kate Bosworth, Alexander Skarsgard, James Woods, Dominic Purcell, Rhys Coiro, Billy Lush, Laz Alonso, Willa Holland, Walton Goggins  Release:  2011

    Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

If you haven’t seen the Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, then the American remake should please you.  If you have seen the original and decide to take in director David Fincher’s copy — excuse me, “reimagining” — prepare for deja vu.

A year ago, I saw the Coen brothers’ update of True Grit.  I enjoyed the new film, but it was a peculiar experience because, aside from new actors,  I felt as though I was watching the 1969 John Wayne classic again, pretty much verbatim.  I had that same feeling as I watched Fincher’s much-hyped thriller.  Fincher gets a lot of things right in adapting Stieg Larsson’s novel:  the wintry sterility of the Swedish landscapes; casting the right actress to play Larsson’s heroine, the enigmatic Lisbeth Salander.  But Danish director Niels Arden Oplev also got those things right in his 2009 original.

Oplev and Fincher both do some tweaking of Larsson’s plot, but they’ve essentially made the same film.  What made the first movie stand out was the chemistry between leads Michael Nyqvist and Noomi Rapace.  Rapace, especially, made a strong impression as Salander, the goth-girl computer hacker who helps track down a serial killer.  In the new film, Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara also strike sparks.  But as the adage goes, the first time is always the best, and I prefer the two Swedes.

Fincher is my favorite working American director.  He prefers dark subject matter, and always puts a personal stamp on projects.  So this movie surprised me, because it hasn’t a drop of originality.  It isn’t bad, mind you, just unnecessary.     Grade:  B

Director:  David Fincher  Cast:  Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgard, Steven Berkoff, Robin Wright, Yorick van Wageningen, Joely Richardson, Geraldine James, Goran Visnjic  Release:  2011

                                         Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Fans tend to get upset when Hollywood decides to remake a treasured movie, but I don’t see much harm in it if the reboot is well done.  Fright Night, the 1985 cult-classic horror-comedy, was not exactly Shakespeare, but it was a lot of fun.  Fright Night, the 2011 version, is not as witty as its progenitor, but it, too, is a lot of fun.

Director Craig Gillespie and scripter Marti Noxon get a lot of things right in their remake, and they even toss in an improvement or two.  The story’s new setting, a cookie-cutter suburb of Las Vegas, is ideal for a vampire movie.  Already hellish, this bland chunk of isolated real estate is ripe for a monster invasion.

The film also retains the original’s sense of humor.  Anton Yelchin, as an awkward teen who suspects that his new neighbor might be a blood sucker, is an inspired piece of casting.  Yelchin is utterly believable as a kid struggling with high school horrors and, once Jerry the vampire (Colin Farrell) moves in next door, much, much more.  Charley is such an innocuous Every Kid that, five minutes after the film ended, I doubt that I could have picked him out of a police lineup — and that’s a compliment.

But Fright Night version II can’t quite top the original.  David Tennant, as monster hunter Peter Vincent, is no Roddy McDowall.  Baby-faced Farrell is much better than I expected as the hunky vampire, but when the time comes for him and his fellow undead to enact the titular “fright night,” the results are a bit of a letdown.  Special effects can only do so much.       Grade:  B-

Director:  Craig Gillespie  Cast:  Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, Toni Collette, David Tennant, Imogen Poots, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Dave Franco, Reid Ewing, Sandra Vergara, Emily Montague  Release:  2011

                                             Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

The Devil’s Double has been called the “Scarface of Arabia,” comparing it to the ultra-violent Brian De Palma film, but that’s giving the Devil too much due.

Scarface worked largely because Tony Montana was a fascinating character; Al Pacino’s Cuban gangster had goals, and he would do anything to attain them.  Montana was an immigrant pursuing his warped twist on the American Dream.  The bad guy in Devil’s Double, a spoiled psychopath based on Saddam Hussein’s eldest son Uday, also has goals, but they are base, childish, and ultimately uninteresting. Uday wanted instant gratification, and if that meant rape, torture, or murder, then so be it.

Uday rants, giggles, and satisfies his wicked desires, including the assault of schoolgirls and killing of his enemies.  But unlike Tony Montana, Uday had no real power — that remained with father Saddam.  Uday was Caligula without an empire.

This film is based on an autobiography by Latif Yahia, an Iraqi who was (allegedly) forced to act as Uday’s body double in the late 1980s.  Dominic Cooper plays both Uday and Latif and, although Cooper does a credible job differentiating between the two men, the script doesn’t offer a whole lot of depth to either character.

Cooper’s Uday has a high-pitched voice and manic mannerisms which at times border on the comical.  Not a good thing in a movie of this nature.  He plays Yahia, by contrast, with a laid-back demeanor and a permanently pained expression.

There is much violence in The Devil’s Double, if that’s your cup of tea.  I found it difficult to care about all of the mayhem on screen because I cared so little about the characters.         Grade:  C

Director:  Lee Tamahori  Cast:  Dominic Cooper, Ludivine Sagnier, Raad Rawi, Philip Quast, Mimoun Oaissa, Khalid Laith, Dar Salim, Nasser Memarzia, Amrita Acharia, Amber Rose Revah  Release:  2011

                                 Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

It’s obvious what director J.J. Abrams hopes to achieve with Super 8:  He wants his movie to be Spielbergian, the kind of fantasy that appeals equally to children and adults.  Nice try, J.J., but I can’t imagine anyone over the age of 15 really enjoying this film.

For younger kids, this is the type of movie they will see, love, and recall fondly for years to come.  And then one day, 10 or 20 years from now, they will rewatch Super 8 on TV (or whatever device we’re using) and wonder what they ever saw in it.

The story begins well.  A group of middle-school kids in Lillian, Ohio, circa 1979, are making a zombie movie using the Super 8 film format.  A train approaches an old depot where the kids are filming, it crashes, and … something escapes from one of the train cars.  Shortly after this incident, animals and objects begin to vanish from Lillian.

Up to this point, Abrams’ script is warm and fuzzy, a nostalgic throwback to movies like Stand by Me or Steven Spielberg’s E.T.  But then the plot gets convoluted.  And special effects begin to dominate the story.  And Super 8 proves, once again, that no one can make a Spielberg fantasy anymore — not even Spielberg, who is one of the film’s producers.

It’s apparent that money was poured into the film, and yet a motion-capture monster is neither convincing nor frightening.  At some points, this beast resembles nothing so much as a jerky Ray Harryhausen creation from the early ’60s.  Meanwhile, Abrams’s movie goes from sweet and intriguing to frantic and clichéd.

The zombie movie that the kids had been making is more entertaining than the misfire that is Super 8.  Unlike the silly alien in this film, Abrams and Spielberg discover that, despite their best efforts, they can’t go home again.       Grade:  C

Director:  J.J. Abrams   Cast:  Joel Courtney, Riley Griffiths, Elle Fanning, Ryan Lee, Gabriel Basso, Zach Mills, Kyle Chandler, Jessica Tuck, Amanda Michalka, Ron Eldard, Katie Lowes   Release:  2011

Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

I blame it on Ripley, believe it or not.  Sigourney Weaver’s gun-totin’, ball-bustin’, space-travelin’ Ellen Ripley from the Alien franchise introduced a new type of hero to the action movie:  the kick-ass female.  Weaver’s ballsy character led to Catwoman and Lara Croft and, inevitably, some far-fetched heroines like the one we meet in A Lonely Place to Die.

And so in this British attempt to cash in on the lucrative action-movie market we get Alison (Melissa George), a supermodel-type who, improbably:  1)  dodges bullets;  2) plunges from mountainous crags down to lethal river rapids;  and 3) out-muscles professional killers in hand-to-hand combat.

Alison is the alpha female in a quintet of mountaineers who, during an outing in the Scottish Highlands, discover a Serbian girl who’s been kidnapped and then buried in a box.  The climbers rescue the girl and are then stalked by the kidnappers, two nasty mercenaries who manage to bump off everyone in the cast except for, naturally, Newt and Rip– … er, Alison and the little girl.

A Lonely Place to Die boasts some spectacular views of the Scottish hills, and director Julian Gilbey handles the physical scenes capably.  Movies like this can be fun, provided the more-ridiculous aspects are coupled with a wink at the audience. But Gilbey and the actors treat the material with dead seriousness, so that by the time Alison outduels a killer who is wearing a pig mask, I wasn’t buying a bit of it.   Grade:  C

Director:  Julian Gilbey  Cast:  Melissa George, Ed Speleers, Eamonn Walker, Sean Harris, Alec Newman, Karel Roden, Kate Magowan, Garry Sweeney, Stephen McCole, Holly Boyd  Release:  2011

                                                         Watch Trailers  (click here)

Above, Melissa George as a mountain climber in A Lonely Place to Die.  Below, Melissa George as mountains in Dark City.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)