The Grouchy Editor

Antibirth

Antibirth reminds me of those 1980s late-show curiosities in which the characters are frequently stoned and, evidently, the films’ directors had also been smoking something. Think Re-Animator and B-movies of that ilk. Danny Perez’s sloppy, gory, hodgepodge of horror has a campy plot – something is growing in the heroine’s womb, and it doesn’t seem to be human – but it’s often a hoot, thanks to an anything-goes performance from Natasha Lyonne as the pregnant stoner and a tone that evokes the best (or worst) of those wacky late-show relics. Release: 2016  Grade: B

*****

The Shallows

If you’re in the mood for some mindless summer fun – and who isn’t in the dead of winter? – you could do a lot worse than The Shallows, in which poor Blake Lively gets stranded on a rapidly submerging rock while a circling shark eyes her for dinner. After a dubious first act, in which the director seems more interested in filming Lively’s bikini-clad, muscular buttocks than in creating suspense, the movie delivers some solid, if also ridiculous, thrills. But hey, “jump scares” are allowed when it’s a shark movie you’re watching.  Release: 2016 Grade: B

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The Best Offer

Geoffrey Rush plays an aloof, eccentric art auctioneer who gets more than he bargained for when an agoraphobic young heiress (Sylvia Hoeks) asks him to sell off her rare collection. I wonder how I might have reacted to The Best Offer had I not seen similar plots – in particular a certain Hitchcock film that I shall not name lest I reveal Offer’s twist ending. The movie is handsomely produced, well acted, and lovely to listen to, but it’s also a story that telegraphs its surprises, especially if you’ve seen similar fare.  Release: 2013  Grade: B+

*****

Don’t Breathe

Some of the best nail-biters have simple plots. In Burning Bright, a Bengal tiger terrorizes a young woman and her autistic brother in a house. That’s the plot. In Black Water, a hungry crocodile terrorizes three tourists trapped in an Australian swamp. That’s the plot.

For about an hour, Don’t Breathe reminded me of those low-budget, efficient thrillers because it keeps things simple: Three small-time burglars are surprised when their chosen victim, a blind war vet, turns the tables on them after they break into his house. That’s the plot. The movie is taut and genuinely chilling. And then … well, that wasn’t good enough for writer/director Fede Alvarez, who decides to add a little Cujo here, a little Silence of the Lambs there. Should have left well enough alone. Release: 2016  Grade: B

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The Tribe

If you’re going to make a 130-minute film with no dialogue and no subtitles, your movie had better have everything else working in its favor. The Tribe does just that. Ukrainian filmmaker Myroslav Slaboshpytskyi’s drama about young deaf-mutes drawn into a life of crime is almost always absorbing – even though the actors “speak” only in sign language. Scenes do occasionally go on a bit too long, but overall this is a fascinating glimpse into a mostly silent, frequently violent world. Release: 2014  Grade: B+ 

**

The Wailing

Locals begin committing bizarre crimes after a mysterious Japanese man moves to their South Korean village, and it’s up to some unsophisticated cops to investigate. The good news: The movie is well-shot, and the final half-hour is both scary and surprising. (Think you’ve figured out the twist? Think again.) The bad news: You do have to sit through two hours of standard-issue horror to reach that entertaining wrap-up.  Release: 2016  Grade: B

**

Midnight Special

Midnight Special starts off well enough. Two men abduct an 8-year-old boy from a religious cult, and the three of them flee from cult members and FBI agents chasing them on the back roads of Texas. But there’s a catch: The boy is a willing participant in his own abduction, and the trio have a plan and an unspoken goal. It’s all very tense and mysterious. And then the story goes all “Kid with Supernatural Powers” on us and gets sillier and sillier until, at the film’s climax, I was thinking of Disney theme parks and Tinker Bell – a far cry from the dark and suspenseful first hour.  Release: 2016  Grade: B-

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Weiner

In case you haven’t had your fill of sleazy politics this election season, you can always check out this documentary, in which a film crew tailed disgraced politician Anthony Weiner and his wife Huma Abedin during Weiner’s doomed, 2013 mayoral campaign. Lots of lessons here: why good people don’t want to run for public office, why we as voters get the leaders we deserve, and so on. My takeaway is that we haven’t heard the last from this relatively young power couple — for better or worse. Release: 2016  Grade: B+

**

Sing Street

Sing Street is a minor miracle: a teen romance with minimal snark and cynicism, a feel-good movie with smarts. I wouldn’t have thought that possible in 2016. The story will be familiar to anyone who’s watched teen comedies – outcast Dublin kid starts a band to win the attention of a cute girl – but the characters are so personable, the dialogue so amusing, and the tone so good-natured that any lack of originality is forgiven. Oh, and the music isn’t half bad.  Release: 2016  Grade: A-

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Gringo

If you think selecting a president this year is akin to choosing between having a root canal or a colonoscopy, it could be worse. We could be stuck with Libertarian candidate John McAfee, the software mogul who wound up accused of rape and orchestrating not one but two murders in Belize. Documentarian Nanette Burstein interviewed McAfee’s hired thugs, his victims, and his teenage “girlfriends” who observed as he turned one part of Central America into his own Heart of Darkness.  

It’s hard to say which is more stomach-turning: the way McAfee exploited poor Belizeans, or the way America’s fawning business and tech communities have welcomed him back to the U.S.A.  Release: 2016  Grade: B+

**

Amanda Knox

Amanda Knox is not a particularly likeable woman – but that doesn’t necessarily make her a murderer. After watching Netflix’s new documentary about the Seattle woman’s trials and tribulations in the Italian justice system, I remain as clueless as ever to her guilt or innocence in the death of roommate Meredith Kercher. But I do know this: The movie reaffirms my belief that I never want to find myself on trial in Italy – especially with flamboyant, egotistical prosecutor Giuliano Mignini running the show. Release: 2016  Grade: B+

**

Rams

Two Icelandic farmers – feuding brothers who haven’t spoken to each other in 40 years – find their livelihoods threatened when disease strikes their beloved sheep stock. Rams is one of those “little” films in which nothing much seems to happen – but it’s so unusual that it could stay with you for a long time.  Release: 2015  Grade: B

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High-Rise

To borrow a cliché, watching High-Rise is like witnessing a slow-motion train wreck:  It’s unpleasant, incomprehensible, yet oddly mesmerizing. Tom Hiddleston plays a 1970s doctor who moves into a state-of-the-art high-rise apartment building and gets entangled when the tenants – upper-crust Brits on the top floors, poorer Brits on the lower floors – engage in class warfare that turns violent.  I enjoyed this train wreck. But I’m not sure I’d want to watch it again.  Release: 2015  Grade: B

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The Wave

Norway delivers an exciting disaster movie that more than holds its own against similar fare from Hollywood. A geologist learns that a restless mountain is about to crumble, dumping enough rock into an adjoining fjord to create a 250-foot wall of water that will turn his scenic village into Davy Jones’ Locker – and the populace has just minutes to reach higher ground. It’s a familiar disaster-flick scenario, but director Roar Uthaug beats Hollywood at its own game by making the action and characters more realistic. Also, the special effects are impressive. Release: 2015  Grade: B+

*****

Night Will Fall

If you get off on “torture porn” like The Green Inferno by filmmaker Eli Roth, this disturbing movie might cure you of the affliction, because Night’s raw footage of dead, dying, or decomposing concentration-camp victims is a reminder that gore and brutality aren’t just the province of Hollywood special-effects wizards. Ostensibly, this film is about an unreleased documentary briefly overseen by Alfred Hitchcock in 1945, but what lingers is the horror of Nazi Germany. Release: 2014  Grade: A

*****

Crimson Peak

Mia Wasikowska plays an early-20th-century damsel who marries and then moves to an eerie estate with her British husband (Tom Hiddleston) and his sinister sister, played with venomous relish by Jessica Chastain. This is an old-fashioned ghost story with modern-day special effects and, best of all, the visual aesthetics of director Guillermo del Toro. The gloomy estate hides secrets, the brother and sister harbor secrets … and none of it is particularly scary. As a romance Crimson also falls short, but Del Toro’s gorgeous sets and old-style direction make for a memorable two hours. Release: 2015  Grade: B+

*****

Wildlike

Here’s a small gem with a larger-than-life setting. Ella Purnell plays a 14-year-old runaway who flees an abusive uncle and finds a reluctant ally in a backpacking, grumpy widower played by Bruce Greenwood. The movie begins as a total downer but transitions into a touching, odd-couple dramedy thanks to memorable turns from Greenwood, young Purnell, and the beauties of Alaska. Release: 2014  Grade: A-

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