by J.D. Haakenson
It’s not often that I read a book dozens of times — and have absolutely no desire to write a “review” of it.
That could be because, in this case, I wrote the blasted thing. And edited it. And proofread it. And designed it (with the assistance of evil A.I. for illustrations). And so, all the blame rests with me.
If you still want it (of course you do!) find it on Amazon here.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale
A recurring theme on Julian Fellowes’s beloved Downton Abbey (TV series and movies) has always been societal change — embracing it or resisting it. The suppression of gays, women, and people of color have all been examined. Nothing wrong with that; after all, the show is set in the early 20th century.
However … Fellowes goes light on potential downsides to social upheaval. Does gradual “progress” for marginalized groups inevitably lead to a more just, utopian world? Or does it simply transfer power from one group to another, and we all know what power does? Downton, especially lately, is none-too-subtle in its support of one side over the other. Fellowes’s villains do all but wear black hats (actually, sometimes they do). His heroes realize the error of their ways and reluctantly embrace change.
But I digress. I’ve been a fan of this show since 2011. The characters, pacing, and production values made it a joy for fans. This alleged swan song (will there be a spinoff for Lady Mary?) is comforting and poignant.
Yet I also watch the news in 2025. I see what progressivism has done across the pond. I can’t help but worry about another poignant movie titled Great Britain: The Grand Finale. Release: 2025 Grade: B
Would I watch it again? Not likely, but I might go back and watch the original series.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Black Rabbit
I’ve long maintained that you don’t need “likable” characters to sell your show. That helps, usually, but I’m also drawn to “interesting” characters. It’s why good villains are often more memorable than heroes. You hiss at the bad guy, but you can’t stop watching him.
Black Rabbit, an eight-part series on Netflix, is an example of this phenomenon. Jason Bateman and Jude Law play middle-aged New York City brothers who clash — to put it mildly — while running a trendy bar. Law, ostensibly the good brother, and ne’er-do-well Bateman are both brilliantly compelling. But you wouldn’t want either to marry your sister. Release: 2025 Grade: A-
Would I watch it again? Because of the time commitment, I rarely rewatch TV series. But I recommend this show. It’s stylish, well produced and, at times, agonizingly tense.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
by Harlan Coben
Just to give you an idea of how out of touch I am with bestseller lists, I had no clue who Harlan Coben was until movie adaptations of his books became a fixture on Netflix. I enjoyed the film version of The Stranger; some of the others, not so much.
Missing You is my first Coben book, and it’s easy to see why he’s so popular. He tells you just enough about his characters to generate interest in them, then pops them (and us) with a shocking surprise. And another, and another. Or, as the book’s blurb says, he’s the “master of the hook-and-twist.”
The protagonist of Missing You is a female cop who reminded me of Stephanie Plum, sans the goofy slapstick. A single woman with a messy love life, she’s also haunted by the murder of her cop-father. Oh yes, and she has an old flame who vanished without explanation 18 years previous. But now it seems he might be back.
The novel is fast-paced and peppered with sharp dialogue. The twists are frequent and not too implausible. Missing You is the perfect “beach read” — entertaining, but a bit shallow and forgettable.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Influencer
Synopsis: When a social-media influencer’s boyfriend fails to join her on a trip to Thailand, she makes an ill-advised decision that leads to lies, betrayal, and murder.
I had high hopes for Influencer. The opening scenes make use of spectacular Thailand scenery. The plot shows the influence of two of my favorite films, All About Eve and The Talented Mr. Ripley. The villain is telegraphed from the start, but it’s fun watching this person smile, connive, and seduce his or her way into power. And the social-media angle is timely.
Alas and alack, alack and alas, the movie cannot, or will not, sustain a good thing. The last act devolves into either trailer-fodder or lazy screenwriting, take your pick. For some godawful reason, modern thrillers feel they must always wrap up with some sort of physical confrontation, often with a slight-figured young female handily outmuscling a healthy young man. Logic flies right out the window.
But I did enjoy the lead-up to Influencer’s absurd ending. And Thailand never looked better. Release: 2022 Grade: B
Cassandra Naud gives her ass all to the cause of ‘Influencer’
Would I watch it again? Only the shower scene pictured above.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Until Dawn
Settle down, kids, no nudity in this movie
Until Dawn opens with an overhead drone shot looking down on a forest as a vehicle moves along a lonely road. Inside the car is a group of five young people: three girls and two guys. They stop at a gas station, where an older man at the cash register creeps out one of the girls. Seems somehow … familiar.
How many horror movies have opened this same way?
Sigh. That opening should have warned me about the rest of this film, in which our young heroes discover something is going to kill them. And kill them again. And again. You know, like in Groundhog Day or, more apropos of the genre, Happy Death Day.
The plot, such as it is, checks a number of woke boxes: The alpha male turns cowardly; the beta male turns heroic; the final girl has girl-boss attributes and no romantic interest in the boys — that would no doubt be too heteronormative. Instead, her main interest is her sister.
The movie is well produced, competently directed, and doesn’t embarrass any members of the cast. There are a few effective moments. Lots of jump scares, lots of gore.
But how many times do we need to see this kind of crap?
Release: 2025 Grade: D
Would I watch it again? I had a difficult time watching it once.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
by Mary Higgins Clark
Clark’s debut novel has a decent premise. After her guilty verdict for the murder of her two children is overturned, a young widow flees California, changes her identity, and begins life anew in New England. Seven years later, her new children also go missing. Guess who the cops consider their prime suspect.
That’s an intriguing plot. Unfortunately, too many other elements of Children cry out, “first-time novelist.” Clark’s characters are shallow and dull, the dialogue is often stilted, and the atmosphere is dated (the book was published in 1975).
At times, I felt like I had stumbled onto an ABC movie of the week from 50 years ago. Not exactly boring, but also not memorable.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Edited by John Belton
I believe I have an answer to this old poser: If you were stranded on a deserted island and could have just one book/movie/song, what would you choose?
I’d probably opt for my favorite director’s 1954 crowd-pleaser, Rear Window. It’s wildly entertaining, deeper than surface level, and epitomizes 1950s Hollywood glamour. As far as I’m concerned, it contains James Stewart’s and Grace Kelly’s finest work.
Belton has compiled essays on every aspect of Alfred Hitchcock’s thriller: the fascinating set design, the fashion statements, a feminist perspective on the story, contemporary film reviews, etc.
The most impressive thing to me about this movie is how well it holds up. One of my favorite YouTube pastimes is checking out “first-time watching” videos, in which young people, usually in their 20s, record their reactions to — you guessed it — first-time viewings of classic films. Judging from their delighted experiences, I’m guessing more than a few of them would consider taking Rear Window to their deserted islands.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Brute 1976
I was well into Brute 1976, a new homage to young-people-in-peril slashers like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, when I realized something was missing from the film.
Most of the ingredients were present: foolhardy young people, an isolated location in the sticks, and a family of … uh, colorful villains. But something was lacking.
Pros: The movie has a nice, 1970s look and setting, perfectly in harmony with Chain Saw, The Hills Have Eyes, or any number of other such cult fodder. There is one scene involving a prosthetic appendage and a glory hole that, well, you can imagine. Or you don’t want to. There is a bevy of attractive actresses.
Cons: You’ve seen it all before. The only update, I guess, is the inclusion of a trans person in the clan of wackos who make life miserable for the young folk.
I finally realized what was missing. There was no nudity. In the 1970s and 1980s, movies like this one always featured gratuitous skin. Did “intimacy coordinators” put the kibosh on naked ladies?
Montalvo
But it turns out I was wrong. I rewound to the opening of the film in which two cuties explore an abandoned cave and — lo and behold — Bianca Jade Montalvo, a 5’9″ actress with all of two film credits on her IMDB page, does indeed get naked. But it was too damned dark to see her in the cave. And is she really … oh, never mind; I get in enough trouble these days.
For your viewing pleasure, I lightened the scene. Click on any pic for a larger view:
Release: 2025 Grade: C-
Would I watch it again? Now that I’ve gotten my nudity fix, probably not.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
by Alex Michaelides
Painter Alicia Berenson seems to have it all: a successful career and a happy marriage. Until one evening when she shoots dead her husband — and then remains mute for the years that follow. Can psychotherapist Theo Faber get the enigmatic Alicia to open up about what happened that fateful night?
As I read Michaelides’s debut novel, I was put in mind of the 1944 movie, Laura. Instead of watching the film’s detective fall in love with an apparently dead woman, we experience narrator Faber’s obsession with his living, but silent, patient. Is Faber falling for Alicia? Is something else afoot?
The thing about fictional twists is this: If you buy into the story as a whole, you’re more likely to accept what might otherwise seem far-fetched. You can be gobsmacked by plot reveals. If you don’t buy into the story, the twists can feel like cheating.
I found The Silent Patient intriguing enough. If I ever re-read it, I might discover plot problems; as it is, I thought the book was clever. I got gobsmacked.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
