The Grouchy Editor

Influencer

Synopsis: When a social-media influencer’s boyfriend fails to join her on a trip to Thailand, she makes an ill-advised decision that leads to lies, betrayal, and murder.

I had high hopes for Influencer. The opening scenes make use of spectacular Thailand scenery. The plot shows the influence of two of my favorite films, All About Eve and The Talented Mr. Ripley. The villain is telegraphed from the start, but it’s fun watching this person smile, connive, and seduce his or her way into power. And the social-media angle is timely.

Alas and alack, alack and alas, the movie cannot, or will not, sustain a good thing. The last act devolves into either trailer-fodder or lazy screenwriting, take your pick. For some godawful reason, modern thrillers feel they must always wrap up with some sort of physical confrontation, often with a slight-figured young female handily outmuscling a healthy young man. Logic flies right out the window.

But I did enjoy the lead-up to Influencer’s absurd ending. And Thailand never looked better. Release: 2022  Grade: B

Cassandra Naud gives her ass all to the cause of ‘Influencer’

Would I watch it again? Only the shower scene pictured above.

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Until Dawn

Settle down, kids, no nudity in this movie

Until Dawn opens with an overhead drone shot looking down on a forest as a vehicle moves along a lonely road. Inside the car is a group of five young people: three girls and two guys. They stop at a gas station, where an older man at the cash register creeps out one of the girls. Seems somehow … familiar.

How many horror movies have opened this same way?

Sigh. That opening should have warned me about the rest of this film, in which our young heroes discover something is going to kill them. And kill them again. And again. You know, like in Groundhog Day or, more apropos of the genre, Happy Death Day.

The plot, such as it is, checks a number of woke boxes: The alpha male turns cowardly; the beta male turns heroic; the final girl has girl-boss attributes and no romantic interest in the boys — that would no doubt be too heteronormative. Instead, her main interest is her sister.

The movie is well produced, competently directed, and doesn’t embarrass any members of the cast. There are a few effective moments. Lots of jump scares, lots of gore. 

But how many times do we need to see this kind of crap?

Release: 2025  Grade: D

Would I watch it again? I had a difficult time watching it once.

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Brute 1976

I was well into Brute 1976, a new homage to young-people-in-peril slashers like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, when I realized something was missing from the film.

Most of the ingredients were present: foolhardy young people, an isolated location in the sticks, and a family of … uh, colorful villains. But something was lacking.

Pros: The movie has a nice, 1970s look and setting, perfectly in harmony with Chain Saw, The Hills Have Eyes, or any number of other such cult fodder. There is one scene involving a prosthetic appendage and a glory hole that, well, you can imagine. Or you don’t want to. There is a bevy of attractive actresses.

Cons: You’ve seen it all before. The only update, I guess, is the inclusion of a trans person in the clan of wackos who make life miserable for the young folk.

I finally realized what was missing. There was no nudity. In the 1970s and 1980s, movies like this one always featured gratuitous skin. Did “intimacy coordinators” put the kibosh on naked ladies?

Montalvo

But it turns out I was wrong. I rewound to the opening of the film in which two cuties explore an abandoned cave and — lo and behold — Bianca Jade Montalvo, a 5’9″ actress with all of two film credits on her IMDB page, does indeed get naked. But it was too damned dark to see her in the cave. And is she really … oh, never mind; I get in enough trouble these days.

For your viewing pleasure, I lightened the scene. Click on any pic for a larger view:

Release: 2025  Grade: C-

Would I watch it again?  Now that I’ve gotten my nudity fix, probably not.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Alien: Romulus

Halfway through Alien: Romulus, when I realized that I was not likely to care about the film’s characters, I began to dread the final hour, which I (correctly) guessed would be frenzied, loud, and unoriginal. The cast, composed of attractive, vapid young people, had the charisma of teenagers trapped in cabins in the woods. This was not a crew of fleshed-out, interesting adults on a spaceship.

The plot, in which our youngsters attempt to escape manual labor on a space outpost, is just a series of greatest hits from its inspiration, the original Alien movies. Here is a partial checklist: milky android blood, acidic alien blood, chest-bursting, face-hugging, humans stuck in xenomorph goo. We saw it all before in the original films. Every time there was a reprise of some special moment, I was reminded of how much better the first flicks are.

That leaves jump scares and special effects, which are impressive, but not impressive enough to compensate for a lazy script.

I would be remiss not to mention this film’s ties to the age of “woke.” The deaths are predictable (it’s not good to be a white male; you are either evil or early alien-meat). As for our heroine, unlike beloved Ripley, whose battle chops are explained in the first two movies, young Rain (Cailee Spaeny) has no apparent training nor skills. Yet she is more than a match for the nasty aliens. And did they really swap Ripley’s pet cat for Rain’s pet black man? Doesn’t seem very woke to me. Release: 2024  Grade: C-

Would I watch it again? No. There are much better films in this franchise.

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Nosferatu

There’s good news and not-so-good news about Nosferatu, Robert Eggers’s update of the 1922 classic vampire movie:

A.  Eggers’s film has wonderful visuals and a creepy atmosphere … but it’s not very scary.

B.  The plot is faithful to the original story … but Bram Stoker’s tale has been filmed so many times that it’s now overly familiar. (Long story short: Nosferatu is Dracula with changed names.)

C.  Bill Skarsgard plays the title role … but Skarsgard is so altered — facially and vocally — that his vampire seems more like a special-effects creation than an actual human.

The biggest problem with Nosferatu is that it’s a long movie with too many dull stretches.

Silver linings: “Knock” and knockers. Simon McBurney, as a character named Knock, chews the scenery magnificently. Katerina Bila, as a character with nice knockers, rides a horse in the nude magnificently (below). Release: 2024 Grade: B-

Would I watch it again?  It nearly put me to sleep during my first viewing, so, not likely.

**

One of Them Days

As the headaches mount for Dreux (Keke Palmer) and Alyssa (SZA) in One of Them Days, I was reminded of another buddy comedy, Planes, Trains and Automobiles. In Planes, an odd couple faces one obstacle after another on their quest to get home for the holidays. In Days, an odd couple is repeatedly frustrated in their struggle to pay rent by the end of the day.

Days isn’t in the same league as John Hughes’s 1987 classic; there are few laugh-out-loud moments, and the screenplay isn’t as witty. Then again, as an older white male, I’m not exactly in this film’s target audience.

But I was amused and charmed by the travails of Dreux and Alyssa. And the movie has a lot of heart. Release: 2025 Grade: B

Would I watch it again?  Possibly.

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