The Grouchy Editor

15Aug

The Weekly Review: August 9 – 15

Posted in Weekly Reviews | 2 Comments

TV Tidbits

Despite its positive reviews, I resisted Netflix’s trendy comedy-drama, Dead to Me. As our economy tanks and the pandemic rages, I couldn’t bring myself to much care about a series depicting the tribulations of two rich bitches in Southern California.

But I eventually caved and am now watching season two of creator Liz Feldman’s dark comedy. Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini play a pair of middle-aged Laguna Beach gals whose lives begin to unravel and unravel some more and ….

I admit it, my preconceived notions about Dead to Me were (mostly) wrong.

Applegate, now 48, has come a long way from her bimbo days in Married … with Children (see below). In Dead, widow Jen’s (Applegate) Y-chromosomes overwhelm her better instincts as traits more often associated with “toxic masculinity” – red-hot temper, judgmentalism, even physical violence – regularly undermine her. And Cardellini, as Applegate’s mousy friend Judy who harbors one helluva big secret, is a perfect comic foil.

At times I feel I’ve had enough of these two knuckleheads, who get embroiled in murder coverups. Jen can be too bitchy for my taste. But then she’ll say something funny and all is forgiven. Judy makes too many airheaded decisions and is awfully clingy. But then she’ll do something endearing and all is forgiven.

Feldman and her stars have created characters who have me doing something I didn’t expect: cheering for rich bitches. Grade: A-

**

Unlike Dead to Me, Netflix’s High Seas isn’t particularly clever, nor is it on anyone’s Emmy list. But it is a welcome respite from the ocean of jaded 2020 fare. Were it not for its spectacular, high-definition scenery, this comic mystery could be straight out of a 1940s Hollywood studio.

In other words, it’s mindless comfort food. So sue me. Grade: B

If you tire of the plot – something awful is always threatening the passengers of a luxury cruise ship – you’re not likely to tire of the show’s cast of fetching Spanish actresses. Although High Seas is strictly G-rated, this is, after all, 2020, and the stars have all appeared in racier movies or series. Here are the girls in their 1940s garb and in more recent roles:

(Click on pictures for a larger view)

Ivana Baquero

Ivana stars as Eva, one of two gorgeous snoop sisters aboard the ship. Eva is adorable and innocent.

Ivana the not-so-innocent in a scene from 2017’s Demonios tus ojos (Sister of Mine):

*

Alejandra Onieva

Alejandra plays Eva’s sister Carolina. She bared her boobs onstage in a 2015 play called El Burlador de Sevilla. Pictures below.

*

Natalia Rodriguez

Natalia plays Natalia, the mysterious, scheming sister of Carolina’s husband. Nothing mysterious about these shots from 2013’s Three Many Weddings:

*

Laura Prats

Laura played lounge singer Clara in season one. Here she is lounging in a scene from 2016’s Marco Polo:

11Aug

Reviews in Short: August 2020

Posted in Books, Movies, TV & Web, Reviews in Short | Leave a comment

We Summon the Darkness

In old-school slasher flicks, the psychos were usually male and their victims were often female. But this is the post “Me Too” era, and so in We Summon the Darkness the roles have reversed. (OK, so that was a twist spoiler; but it’s not much of a twist.) Yet one thing hasn’t changed over the years: Old-school slashers were generally ridiculous, and that certainly holds true with this 2019 offering. It’s well-produced — but not so well-written.

Alexandra Daddario plays the alpha of three female dimwits who hook up with three equally dimwitted boys for a night of drinking and games at her parents’ isolated house. Bad things happen. You know the drill. Release: 2019 Grade: C-

Sidebar:

Alexandra Daddario, who stars and is listed as one of the film’s producers, gets to flex her acting chops in We Summon the Darkness. I hadn’t seen Daddario in anything since 2014’s True Detective, in which she memorably flexed a few other things (see below).

The video clip:

09Aug

Murder in the Crooked House

Posted in Books, Books, Movies, TV & Web | Leave a comment

by Soji Shimada

I guess you could call Shimada Japan’s answer to Agatha Christie, but I wouldn’t put him in Dame Agatha’s league. Crooked House is a locked-room murder mystery with all of the usual ingredients: an isolated group of suspects, most of whom have something to hide, but not necessarily murder; an eccentric detective to amaze everyone with his astounding deductions; and a convoluted, somewhat clever plot.

I say “somewhat” clever because I didn’t buy the resolution to the story, which is more “howdunit” than whodunit. I suppose that, theoretically, it’s possible that the crimes could be committed per Shimada’s plot. But man … it takes a great deal of goodwill on the readers’ part to buy into it.

08Aug

The Weekly Review: August 2 – 8

Posted in Weekly Reviews | Leave a comment

Ruminations

We don’t separate cops from their police unions, so why do we separate teachers from theirs?

I’ve grown weary of hearing about how wonderful our teachers are (give them a raise!), but how awful their unions are. Teachers compose and support these awful unions. Without teachers, they don’t exist. So if you despise the unions, put the blame where it belongs: with teachers.

*

All of these recent “assaults” on Americans’ civil liberties (I’m looking at you, California) seem to be a big surprise to a lot of people.

But this stuff doesn’t really surprise me. I’m a cigarette smoker. If you smoke, you long ago got used to bans and taxes and stigma and the tyranny of big government and majority rule.

Welcome to the club, fellow Americans.

*

Trump’s biggest threat comes from the TINOs — Trumpers in Name Only. These people pretend to support Trump because they feel they must, but their real goal is to undermine him. The TINOs, like their soulmates who are Democrats, are swamp creatures threatened by change to the status quo.

I mean, are Lindsey Graham, Jim Jordan, and Mitch McConnell really MAGA fans?

*

Take a look at the picture above. The old lady represents everyone who’s had it with the violence and intimidation employed by Antifa, Black Lives Matter, and other leftists referred to by mainstream media as “peaceful protesters.” The guy on the left represents everyone who voted for Portland’s Democrat leadership.

Which side do you support?

*

Meteorologists now refer to certain phenomena as “rain events.” Apparently, it’s no longer impressive enough to simply say “rain.”

**

Signs on Netflix

The Web site Decider describes this genre – the crime drama set in a small town — as a sort of “comfort food” for a lot of viewers. You have a grizzled, often hard-drinking cop. He is likely divorced or widowed, and frequently has a teenage daughter. The tone is grim. Murder happens.

Signs (Znaki in the original Polish) is a decent series, but nothing special. It does, however, fit the “comfort food” bill. You get what you paid for.

And you’ve got to love actress Helena Englert’s ass (below).

This pose … I am imagining the director saying, “Raise your leg a bit, Helena, and show us a bit more butt cheek.”

**

Am I the only one who thinks this looks like an ad for Grindr?

**

Dinkle vs. King

01Aug

The Weekly Review: July 26 – August 1

Posted in Weekly Reviews | 1 Comment

China apparently believes we are a nation of idiots. Just mail a package of seeds to an American, he will mindlessly plant them in his backyard and – presto! – you’re not growing carrots; you’re growing biological destruction.

That’s much more efficient for China than, say, exporting something like the Wuhan Flu, which tends to infect your own citizens.

Speaking of China … I’m sorry, but Mark Cuban and his fellow NBA owners need to make a choice: Either they are patriotic Americans, or they are in bed with China. Can’t be both.

I’d say more on this topic, but it’s Saturday and right now I have to go plant some seeds.

**

Jim Jordan – where to begin with this guy? At times, he seems quite impressive. Like when he went after Saint Fauci, who seems hellbent on currying favor with Hollywood, sports fans, and liberals in general. I also thought Jordan was spot-on during the Trump impeachment.

But Jordan was exposed as a sputtering hypocrite on Tucker Carlson’s show a few days ago, in which he repeatedly dodged questions about Big Tech’s influence over the upcoming election.

Jordan is big on expressing outrage. Problem is, that’s our job, not his. Jordan wasn’t elected to whine and complain about Big Tech; he was elected to actually do something.

Has he, too, been bought off?

**

Ben Jealous

Favorite Name of the Week: Ben Jealous

I wonder how often this guy has pissed people off when, during introductions, he extends his hand and says “Ben Jealous?”

**

Dinkle vs. King

**

Literally.

25Jul

The Weekly Review: July 19 – 25

Posted in Weekly Reviews | 3 Comments

I tried to watch a baseball game and wound up feeling like Michael Douglas in 1993’s Falling Down, in which his working-stiff character no longer recognizes his own country. In my case, I no longer recognized America’s pastime.

Not only were the “fans” in the stands ridiculous-looking cardboard cutouts, but for some reason the announcers were speaking Spanish. All of that on top of Major League Baseball’s decision to get all political and … well, maybe it’s time I moved to a tiny cabin in the mountains of Wyoming. Michael Douglas could relate.

***

I watched a video last night that posed a familiar question: “Why do most Hollywood movies suck?” The answer was also familiar: Hollywood is first and foremost a business, and so the stories we get are all market-tested to ensure studios get the most bang for their (big) bucks.

Intelligent, dialogue- and character-driven narratives don’t translate well overseas, and so we have a glut of special-effects-heavy comic-book movies that play well in China. Quality stories have been exiled to the land of cheap indies and to streaming TV.

OK, but I have another question: Why are so many of the “good” shows such downers? In the past, Hollywood routinely cranked out product that was smart and – gasp! – uplifting. Not so much anymore. Today, even the comedies are cynical and snark-filled, even mean-spirited.

***

I’ve been watching The Twelve on Netflix. It’s a drama from Belgium about a jury charged with determining the guilt or innocence of a woman accused of two murders. It’s not bad, but it’s a bit bloated; I began to grow impatient with all of the subplots by about episode 7. Just resolve the mystery already, I’m thinking.

But I hope we can all agree that actress Charlotte De Bruyne looks mighty fine — front and back (below).

***

Speaking of ass, it had been awhile since Fox News entertained us with a sex scandal. But last week we learned that Ed Henry, of all people, got canned for sexual shenanigans with a co-worker named Jennifer Eckhart (above). Apparently, Eckhart wound up handcuffed to a bed while naughty Ed did all sorts of things to her. She claims this bedroom play was non-consensual.

Until this scandal, Ed was pitched to the public as the ultimate nice guy, a dutiful sibling who selflessly gave part of his liver to his sister, who was in need of a transplant.

What a swell guy — or so I thought. Then I learned that Ed also ran into trouble in 2016 when he got involved with a Las Vegas stripper.

Sounds like Ed might have given away the wrong organ.

***

I need to do a better job of monitoring the porn-star world. Someone named Mia Khalifa was in the news this week, but I had never heard of her. Apparently, she is upset that her porn background is hurting her goal of transitioning to mainstream acting work, while men face no such stigma.

Mia is also warning young women to stay away from the porn industry, which she says is toxic. Below, Lebanese-American Mia in one of her porn shoots.

She looks like she’s having a miserable time, doesn’t she?

***

18Jul

The Weekly Review: July 12 – 18

Posted in Weekly Reviews | Leave a comment

Five years ago, I was a news junkie whose typical daily diet looked something like this:

I am still a news junkie, but today my daily diet looks more like this:

So, what happened to me? As the great political pundit Roseanne Barr famously explained to Jimmy Kimmel: “I’m still the same; you all moved.” Gradually, inexorably, my preferred news sources went off the far-left deep end.

I don’t know if Trump Derangement Syndrome was the cause of this leftward lurch, or if it was simply inevitable, but I can no longer stomach former favorites like Rachel Maddow and the HuffPost.

Tucker Carlson, Tim Pool, and conservative Web sites have their biases, of course, and I don’t always agree with them. And it’s hard to overlook the clown-like excesses of the New York Post (see above).

But they are not insane (see below).

**

We hear a lot about the culture war between big cities (predominately liberal) and rural America (Trump country). But I suspect the real battle will be between big cities and the suburbs.

It’s one thing when Antifa occupies downtown Seattle, but what happens when they try to torch a suburban Applebee’s?

11Jul

The Weekly Review: July 5 – 11

Posted in Weekly Reviews | Leave a comment

We are in the midst of a computer swap.

And so, please forgive us for this week’s lack of content and enjoy this picture of a goat.

04Jul

The Weekly Review: June 28 – July 4

Posted in Weekly Reviews | Leave a comment

Cancel culture is clearly Anthony Fremont (above) wishing people into the cornfield in that old episode of The Twilight Zone.

The far left reminds me of nothing so much as spoiled children terrorizing the adults. Do as we say or you will be destroyed.

**

It’s the Fourth of July and all hell might break loose tonight and I’m tired of all the squabbling and fighting and I refuse to do it today so I’m just not going to say anything other than my brief observation above about the “woke” crowd and cancel culture and all of that crap so instead I’m just going to spend the day watching old Columbo episodes.

Besides, this computer is dying and it’s an effing pain in the ass to work on this site.

**

Yes, I realize that King and Rowling both come from humble beginnings. But the problem with both of them, in my humble opinion, is that they’ve spent most of their adult lives in little rooms staring at computer screens.

Or, in King’s case, a typewriter.

**

I dunno. Kind of looks to me like the chick is trying to escape.

28Jun

Ship of Fools

Posted in Books, Books, Movies, TV & Web | Leave a comment

by Tucker Carlson

There’s a good reason that the left keeps targeting Fox News’s Tucker Carlson with advertiser boycotts. Unlike the Fox anchors who follow his nightly show, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham, Carlson is neither a lightweight Trump sycophant (Hannity), nor a smug, intellectually lazy yuck (Ingraham). Carlson is sharp, witty – and often right. In short, to the left he’s a formidable threat.

If you watch Carlson’s show (raising my hand), most of what he covers in 2019’s Ship of Fools is old news. His targets are familiar: Obama, environmentalists, illegal immigration, open borders, and … well, most issues that progressives hold near and dear. But unlike so many of the talking heads out there, Carlson is passionate and persuasive.