The Grouchy Editor

 

Headlines!

(plus my two cents)

 

 

 

By firing and then smearing popular host Tucker Carlson, it looks like Fox News is hellbent on becoming the Anheuser-Busch of cable news.

Alienating your core customers in a misguided attempt to broaden your clientele does not shout: “winning strategy!”

Just as Budweiser’s decision to thumb its nose at Joe Six-Pack has backfired spectacularly, Fox’s dumping of Carlson is going to result in a viewer exodus.

 

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Best-case scenario for Anheuser-Busch: It looks to its left, then to its right, realizes it cannot win, and then reaches out to other corporate behemoths also being blackmailed/extorted by ESG and social-credit proponents. Anheuser-Busch says, “Let’s band together and fight this progressive bullshit.”

 

Yeah well, I can dream, can’t I?

 

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In my humble opinion, one reason the right can’t seem to gain any ground in the immigration debate is its decision to let the left set the ground rules.

Rather than focus on the core problem — millions of people choosing to break the law, aided and abetted by the Biden administration — the right seems to believe it can persuade by pointing out the plight of the migrants. They are portrayed first and foremost as victims, not as lawbreakers.

Never mind the migrants’ callous disregard of our laws, nor the impact they have on Americans in terms of lowered wages and costly drains on strained social services. No, above all, the bipartisan argument goes, we must slow immigration to help the immigrants.

Whatever you do, do not point out that the migrants willingly put themselves in harm’s way. 

 

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When they eventually shuffle off this mortal coil, I propose that Donald Trump and CNN be buried side by side.

Their story was the ultimate example of a love-hate relationship.

 

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Silly me. I thought that “E-Verify” was already a requirement.

 

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I can’t decide if this Mayorkas guy is stupid, mentally ill, or just plain evil.

 

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Now that House Republicans have finally come up with actual evidence of Joe Biden’s corruption (bank records), it’s disheartening, but not surprising, to observe the mainstream media’s response: crickets.

 

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I’ve been watching Newsmax. Too many of its hosts are media castoffs I’d forgotten about. It’s a place where former talking heads go to die. People like Greta Van Susteren, Dick Morris, and Eric Bolling. Newsmax desperately needs someone with heft. Someone like Tucker Carlson. Or Megyn Kelly.

Carlson and Kelly — now there’s a dynamic duo.

Another downside to watching Newsmax: I had hoped that moving away from Fox might spare me this, but no, those ulcer-inducing, hair-pulling, obnoxious My Pillow ads followed me there.

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Why does her crown look bigger than his? Is that why he looks sad?

 

 

British whoop-de-doo over the monarchy

 

As an American, I fall into the “mixed feelings” camp concerning Britain’s monarchy. I enjoy — sometimes immensely — shows like The Crown, The Queen, and Downton Abbey. The real royal family’s escapades are an endless source of soap-opera entertainment.

Also, I have little doubt that the whole monarchy thing benefits the psychology of Britons. It makes them feel special.

But intellectually and morally, kings and queens seem to me like an anachronistic waste of time, money, and resources.

But hey, so long as my tax dollars don’t go toward any of it, I’m happy to sit back and watch the show.

 

In related news …

 

Left, the pride and joy of Britain’s royal family. Right, the pride and joy of America’s royal family.

 

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Political Incorrectness

 

 

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Yup, methinks it’s time to resurrect the sobriquet so aptly coined by Arnold Schwarzenegger: “girly men.” You know, to describe folks like Dylan Mulvaney.

 

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I suppose we aren’t meant to ascribe literal definitions to the four archetypes described in the Strauss and Howe book The Fourth Turning (my review is here). But it gives me pause to think of myself as a “prophet” when the only thing I can safely predict in life is that the Minnesota Vikings will never win a Super Bowl.

As for the idea of millions of spoiled-brat Millennials acting as the world’s “heroes” … well, God help us.

 

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Red Pilled

 

In the AllSides chart below, I’ve circled the media I consumed ten years ago in blue, and the media I consume today in red. The Web site circled in purple is the only crossover.

This is what happens when you get older and wiser:

 

 

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© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

TV Tidbits

 

Jury Duty

 

I watched the first two episodes of this Amazon Freevee “mockumentary” and thought they were hilarious. Unlike so many reviewers, I do not use the word “hilarious” lightly, because in my experience very few comedies deserve it.

But Jury Duty, in which a clueless nice guy is unknowingly surrounded by fake jurors, lawyers, bailiffs and a judge, had me laughing out loud — another term I rarely use. This good-natured juror is appointed foreman and participates in a fake trial and fake everything else, all while a supposed documentary crew films the proceedings. Think The Truman Show in a sitcom format.

But a funny thing happened somewhere in the third episode, when situations and characters began to seem contrived to me, a bit too made-for-television. Is the real dupe on this show just its audience?

Say it ain’t so.

 

The Diplomat

 

I was a big fan of The West Wing, a lauded show that, in retrospect, sugar-coated what liberals hoped Bill Clinton’s administration was actually like.

Yeah, dream on, liberals. Me included (at the time).

So now, some 25 years later, we have The Diplomat on Netflix, which is written in part by West Wing alumnus Debora Cahn. Like its CBS predecessor, Diplomat features lots of “walk and talk” banter, clever dialogue, and charming characters we are meant to admire.

It is an entertaining show, albeit one that tilts more humorous than the often-heavy-handed drama on West Wing.

But if The Diplomat’s showrunners are hoping that viewers will see their show’s politicos as an enhanced, idealized version of the Biden administration, uh, I have three words: “Let’s go, Brandon!”

 

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LeBron James got nut-slapped by another player during a playoff game.

Yes, I realize it’s not very nice, but I enjoyed seeing the moronic NBA superstar writhing in agony on the floor.

 

 

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Yes, I get it. Tucker Carlson will do just fine after getting unceremoniously dumped by Fox News. He will find another outlet and make lots of money.

That’s not the point. That’s not what makes Carlson’s canning a bad thing for conservatives.

Like it or not, Fox is a primary source of news for millions of (mostly) conservatives. Many of them will not likely find Carlson on whatever Web site or channel he turns to. Fox will not replace him with another strong, anti-establishment voice.

Nope, it’s bad news all around. Turns out Rupert Murdoch is just another crocodile in the swamp, and the swamp has claimed another victim.

 

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From the Department of “Some Things Never Change”

 

 

When I was ten years old, I would have thought this video, in which a hacker jacks off during a Zoom meeting of some local officials (blurred at top left in the picture), was funny as hell.

I still think it’s funny as hell.

(Apparently, board member Adam Sammon in the bottom-right square also has a case of arrested development.)

 

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If this chick is representative of female cops in New York City, it’s little wonder that crime has gone up in the Big Apple. The bad guys probably want to get arrested.

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

I miss Craig Ferguson.

I don’t watch late-night talk shows anymore. Not since Ferguson left and not since Kimmel, Fallon, Meyers, and Corden showed their true colors as leftist suck-ups and sellouts.

For all I know, Ferguson is also a true-blue progressive. But the thing is, he was an equal-opportunity celebrity basher. Possibly because he was an “outsider” (Scottish turned American citizen), Ferguson brought a fresh perspective to American political humor.

Plus, he was more entertaining than the clowns who pollute late-night these days.

Come back, Craig. We need you.

Unless, of course, I’m wrong about you and you were just disguising your “wokeness.”

 

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Thanks to A.I. and deep fakes, this could be true, or it could be bogus.

Fucking A.I.

 

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Stone Ridge Creamery Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream. I recommend it.

In the 13-year history of this Web site, I have never pitched a food product. But I am now.

That should tell you how strongly I feel about this.

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Biden does his thing

 

Putin bonding with his people

 

Russia’s leader kisses a little boy’s bare belly, the Dalai Lama tries to tongue a kid, and Joe Biden creeps on little girls.

With this kind of “leadership,” is it any wonder that so many people think it’s fine if grown men in thongs twerk their sweaty butts in the faces of children?

 

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I used to have mixed feelings about government leakers like Edward Snowden and Julian Assange. Not anymore.

Now that we understand the level of corruption in the Deep State, the military and intelligence communities, what we need is more whistleblowers, not fewer.

 

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Here’s a litmus test to discern which Fox News hosts are establishment lackeys, and which are pro-regular people: observe how they cover this online leak about Ukraine.

Tucker Carlson emphasized the lies we’ve been told about Ukraine — by Biden, the military, and hawks in general — while Neil Cavuto had his panties in a bunch about the 21-year-old leaker. When Cavuto guest John Ratcliffe tried to steer the conversation to those lies (“The Biden administration was misleading the American people”), Cavuto quickly changed the subject back to the leaker.

Yes, fatso establishment boy Cavuto sucks.

 

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Speaking of fatso Cavuto, there’s nothing like watching him and fellow fatso Karl Rove whine about Donald Trump ads that insult fatsos Chris Christie and Bill Barr. “This stuff has gotta stop,” Cavuto huffed. “Let’s slim it down,” said Rove.

The only problem, which neither Cavuto nor Rove brought up, is that Trump himself is a fatso.

 

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I’m sorry, French protestors, because I’m sure Emmanuel Macron and his government are just as corrupt as ours. However … as an American who doesn’t qualify for full retirement until the age of 67, it’s hard for me to summon much empathy for you having to work until age 64. Especially when you expect us to pick up most of the tab for NATO — your national security — while you enjoy weeks and weeks of vacation time.

 

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There’s no other way to describe it: Tim Pool’s live podcast Friday from Austin, Texas was an unmitigated disaster. The sound was inconsistent and often unintelligible, the picture was crap, and after 45 minutes of suffering through the production, I had to stop watching because it was, well, unwatchable.

Too bad, because Pool had a pretty good lineup of guests: Alex Jones, Blaire White, Michael Malice, and Alex Stein. But if Pool wants to keep taking his show on the road, he’s going to have to suck it up and hire some professional technicians who know what they’re doing.

You’re never going to win the culture war if your podcast resembles a third-grade talent show.

 

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The Bud Light controversy brings to mind the infamous “Heidi Bowl” of 1968. Remember that one? In the closing minutes of a tight game between the New York Jets and Oakland Raiders, NBC decided to cut away from the cliffhanger so that a scheduled showing of Heidi would not be delayed. Bad decision. Outrage ensued.

Fast forward to 2023 and Anheuser-Busch’s decision to align top-selling Bud Light with weirdo Dylan Mulvaney.

Great move by the marketing executive pictured above. I mean, who better to understand the tastes of beer-swilling (mostly) male customers than a privileged, woke, young white woman? If only the Neanderthals could be exposed to dress-wearing, TikTokking Mulvaney, surely they would see how fun he is and raise a toast to their new role model — right?

 

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© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

War Sailor

 

Three cheers for Norway!

I’ve often wondered why it is always Sweden (Wallander, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) and Denmark (Borgen, The Killing) that dominate “prestige” shows from Scandinavia, while neighboring Norway seems to settle for cult stuff like 2009’s Dead Snow, a horror comedy about zombie Nazis. That’s right: zombie Nazis.

War Sailor, a three-hour movie-turned-miniseries now streaming on Netflix, is the anti-Dead Snow. The recipe is this: Take some Deer Hunter, toss in a bit of Casablanca and The Best Years of Our Lives, and add three stellar performances from the lead actors. The result?  The best thing from Norway since lefse. (Look it up.)

 

Left to right: Pal Sverre Hagen, Ine Marie Wilmann, Kristoffer Joner

 

The plot: At the dawn of World War II, two lifelong friends sign up for an 18-month stint on a Norwegian merchant ship. When Germany occupies Norway, their voyage stretches into years of separation from friends and family in Bergen.

The first two episodes are heavy on action and suspense (very good) while the final hour is pure heartbreaking drama (magnificent). The entire production looks and sounds great, and actors Kristoffer Joner, Ine Marie Wilmann, and Pal Sverre Hagen turn in unforgettable performances.

Zombie Nazis, my ass.

 

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I am bewildered by Jordan Peterson’s YouTube presence. Are there YouTubers who enjoy posting thumbnails of the venerable Canadian that consistently make him appear tearful to downright suicidal?

I’ve never seen so many mournful, hangdog, despondent, just-shoot-me-now-and-put-me-out-of-my-misery images of an individual.

And then there are the apocalyptic headlines ….

 

 

Makes me want to send Peterson a box of lefse.

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

If there was any question about whether we are on the verge of a civil war, this Trump indictment by a crooked tub of lard in New York … well. It’s obvious we are not on the verge of a civil war; we are smack-dab in the middle of one.

 

Baby Boomers have always been a messy bunch (I am one of them). As we head out the door, we are leaving Millennials and Gen Z with the ultimate mess.

You’re welcome.

 

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Are arrested people allowed to flip the bird at the camera in their mugshots? If not, too bad, because that would be an appropriate look for Trump.

 

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I wonder when the woke police will get around to more modern writers. You know, writers like …

 

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

In gripping courtroom testimony, actress Gwyneth Paltrow this week described her first date with jailed movie producer Harvey Weinstein. Here is a sampling of the emotional exchange between the actress and a lawyer: *

 

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Men

 

Jessie Buckley plays a woman who moves to an English hamlet, where she encounters increasingly, uh, bizarre males.

I considered writing a review of this British horror film, but decided it’s much easier to just comment on other critics’ reviews:

 

 

Christy Lemire of RogerEbert.com gave it 3/4 stars, calling it “a visceral experience” and adding: “it reinforces [writer-director Alex] Garland’s singular prowess as a craftsman of indelible visuals and gripping mood.”

My take on Lemire’s take: “Yes.”

 

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Armond White of National Review wrote: “… Plus, it’s too absurd to substantiate the media’s fascination with ‘toxic masculinity.’”

My take on White’s take: “Yes.”

 

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Kevin Maher of The Times gave it 2/5 stars, writing: “It culminates in a protracted, effects-filled birthing sequence that manages, after 90 minutes of man-hating, to be aggressively misogynistic.”

My take on Maher’s take: “Yes.”

 

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Mark Kermode of The Observer gave the film 3/5 stars, calling it “a playfully twisted affair — not quite as profound as it seems to think, perhaps, but boasting enough squishy metaphorical slime to ensure that its musings upon textbook male characteristics are rarely dull, and sometimes deliciously disgusting.”

My take on Kermode’s take: “Yes.”

 

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By the way, audiences polled by CinemaScore gave the film an average grade of “D+” on an A+ to F scale.

 

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*Hey, if the Babylon Bee isn’t going to cover this stuff, we might as well.

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Don’t mess with these two

 

A common complaint about “reality” shows like Survivor: They aren’t real.

Outlast on Netflix might not be the real deal, either, but it certainly seems a lot more lifelike than most shows of its ilk. Rather than a bunch of Millennials lounging on a tropical beach gossiping about each other, Outlast has an ex-con heroin addict stealing sleeping bags from a competing team, the members of which must then spend a sub-freezing, rainy night at their camp in the wilds of Alaska. 

We’ve got conditions so dire that not one, but three, contestants drop out of the show in the first couple days. Oh, and the whole area is swarming with bears.

And did I mention the two female contestants (pictured above) who make Eva Braun and Lizzie Borden seem like Laverne and Shirley?

 

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After watching this awkward, delightful Oscar-night interview with Hugh Grant, I’ve decided that he is my new favorite movie star.

 

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We have to stop bailing out these banks. Let them fucking fail and if there is hell to pay, then there is hell to pay.

 

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The year 2023 — just like 2022 and 2021 — sucks. I advise that you do what I’ve been doing. Escape, if only for a few hours, to a simpler time.

I’ve been watching the 1950s Francis comedies. You remember Francis, the talking mule? Whoever was responsible for casting the series was a genius — and I’m not talking about the performing mule. Chill Wills as the gravel-voiced jackass and Donald O’Connor as the sidekick whose voice cracks like a kid at puberty, are a hoot.

For some unfathomable reason, YouTube doesn’t have the original movie (they made seven Francis movies), so I recommend Francis Goes to the Races and Francis Covers the Big Town.

 

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This is the kind of story you find in Popular Mechanics these days?

 

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

We need lawsuits — and we need them yesterday — against publishers like Amazon who are hiring snot-nosed college grads to “edit” classic books by retroactively removing “sensitive content.”

Dr. Seuss, Roald Dahl, Ian Fleming — even George Orwell, who warned us about this kind of crap — I really don’t care if their descendants are fine with “sensitivity readers” censoring these books. Leave the damn stories alone.

It’s especially egregious to alter an e-book (talking about you, Kindle) after it’s been purchased:

 

 

I suppose this means nothing is safe. Music, movies, TV shows … all of them subject to the whims of woke “editors.”

Lawsuits, please. Yesterday.

 

 

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Poker Face

 

I am going back and forth on this show. One of the early episodes, 2 or 3, had a completely arbitrary bit of MAGA-bashing, when the heroine is listening to the radio in her car. There was no narrative reason for the scene, other than to trumpet to Trump supporters: We here in Hollywood think you suck.

On the other hand, the fourth episode, with Chloe Sevigny as an aging rock star, had a truly brilliant final reveal.

 

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Scott Adams has been cancelled. OK, he’s one guy.

But if this poll about race relations that Adams was referring to is accurate, how is that not a much, much bigger story?

 

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Yup, what she said.

 

© 2010-2024 grouchyeditor.com (text only)