Category: Weekly Reviews

Lots of clowns, pea-brains, and Chicken Littles in Washington D.C., but I’m hard-pressed to name one who combines all three character traits better than this guy:

 

 

Unless, of course, he’s some sort of evil genius and is simply toying with all of us ….

 

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Last week we waxed eloquent about the wondrous escapism of YouTube conspiracy videos.

But if you’re seeking some other form of addictive time-wasting, check out Crazy Days and Nights.

It’s the wondrous escapism of Hollywood gossip, in the guise of a guessing game.

 

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Quote of the Week

 

“Bringing up the FBI and the Justice Department rattles a lot of feathers.” – Jedediah Bila mixing her metaphors – or something – on The Five.

 

These pictures of Bila rattled my feather. Ruffled it, too:

 

 

 

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© 2010-2018 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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If we’re all watching fake news anyway, why not watch fake news that’s entertaining? That’s why I spent the night watching fake news on YouTube — primarily conspiracy videos.

Google, Twitter and Facebook work hard to censor political views they don’t like, but they have no problem showcasing videos and articles about fake moon landings, or unshaven Stanley Kubrick’s recent return to the Overlook Hotel (below).

 

 

These videos are fun. I began with the fake moon landings, which led me to Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut (in which Stanley filmed Tom Cruise’s then-wife Nicole Kidman, pictured below, in the buff), which led me to a video called “Pedophiles Rule the World,” which led me to Anthony Bourdain’s suspicious suicide in France, which led me to … you get the picture.

 

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These videos kept me up all night. And I didn’t even get to UFOs or the Kennedy assassination.

 

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Surely someone, somewhere, is busy updating “Bette Davis Eyes” to address this important question:

 

 

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© 2010-2018 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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If you’re going to borrow from classic high-school comedies, you might as well borrow from the best – movies like Mean Girls, Can’t Buy Me Love, and 16 Candles.

The makers of Netflix’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (above) understand this, and that’s why, despite the fact that I hardly fit the film’s target demographic, it never gagged me with a spoon.

 

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When they try to be funny, the Big Brother houseguests usually fall flat. But every so often, CBS cameras capture a gem of an exchange, like this one:

 

 

 

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OK, OK. Congressional candidates don’t have “running mates.” We know that, but that would spoil the joke.

 

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The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences message to Hollywood with its new “best popular film” Oscar category:

 

“Your movie sucks, but it did make a lot of money from the Deplorables, and we like that, so here’s a little naked man for you.”

 

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So let’s see … isn’t that “cultural appropriation” times three?

 

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I don’t care what your politics are, funny is funny, and this “interview” with former sheriff Joe Arpaio is pretty damn funny.

 

© 2010-2018 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Reporters!

 

 

“What an asshole!”

 

– Fox’s Dana Perino on live TV, decrying some knucklehead who brought an alligator into a convenience store.

 

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“We reached out to [CBS honcho Leslie] Moonves and CBS for comment, but did not hear back.”

 

 – CBS reporter Anna Werner, essentially saying: “I reached out to myself for comment, but did not hear back.”

 

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“They aren’t being nice to me, and I don’t like it!”

 

– CNN’s Jim Acosta whining about anti-CNN, pro-Trump crowds.

OK, he didn’t really say that — we think.

 

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© 2010-2018 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Seems to Me …

 

 

Seems to me the best part of the Trump-Cohen secret tape recording is the fact that National Enquirer publisher David Pecker is referenced, and so media outlets are once again free to say or write “Pecker.”

If you are not sure who David Pecker is, Google his name. Go ahead, you know you want to.

 

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Lots of happy faces on Fox News about the economic-growth report.

But my wallet hasn’t gotten any bigger.

Seems to me that TV pundits ought to contain their glee until someone other than fat cats gets a fatter wallet.

 

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Russian “collision”? Seems to me if you’re constantly battling “dumb blonde” accusations, you ought to proofread your Tweets.

 

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“She is young.” – Marie Harf excusing media darling Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s (above right) embarrassing stumble over a question about Israel.

 

OK. Well.

 

If you’re going to excuse Ocasio-Cortez for her “youth and inexperience,” I think you’ve got to pardon Trump for his “senior moment” in Helsinki.

 

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Movies these days suck.

We forget that in Hollywood’s golden age, 1971-72, audiences were treated to gems like these:

 

 

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© 2010-2018 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Baby blimps and bald spots: politics!

 

 

 

“Well, we’re a real network, too”

– CNN’s Jim Acosta, above, whining about Donald Trump at a British press conference and proving that Acosta, too, should have a giant baby balloon.

 

 

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Does Peter Strzok’s bald spot have a Twitter page? I think it should.

 

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If I didn’t know better, I’d suspect that the girls on Big Brother actually want us to see their titties.

Below, houseguest Kaitlyn Herman displays her modesty:

 

 

 

Below, houseguest Haleigh Broucher plays peek-a-boob with the CBS camera.

 

 

© 2010-2018 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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I keep seeing commercials for an intriguing new series on FX called Snowfall.

Just one problem: It’s not an intriguing new series on FX. It’s in its second year.

There are just too damn many shows on TV. Who can keep up?

 

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Hmmm … why does that plot sound so familiar?

 

 

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Quote of the Week:

 

“Every single time, he has fought like a rock for conservative legal principles.” — Justin Walker, former Kennedy clerk, commenting on one of Donald Trump’s Supreme Court candidates.

Since when did rocks become known for their fighting prowess?

 

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The hamsters on Big Brother can’t seem to keep their clothes on.

Here is fitness model Angela Rummans demonstrating ladylike poses while sunbathing (top video), and how to full-frontally flash an audience without seeming to do so (bottom video):

 

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And finally, with a nod to the late, great Groucho Marx:

 

 

 

© 2010-2018 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Uncivil Wars

 

 

Silly old man. He’s 72. Probably didn’t realize the Twitter mob would be out for his scalp.

 

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Big Brother is back, but CBS missed out on an opportunity for ratings gold. It should have stocked the house with half Trump supporters, half Trump haters.

Of course, had the network done that, someone would no doubt burn down the house.

 

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The “Old Man” of Pawn Stars fame died. I don’t watch that show anymore; not because I don’t like it, but because I burned out on it.

When I first discovered Pawn Stars, I couldn’t get enough, and I binge-watched episodes for weeks. Same thing with other “reality” shows like recently deceased Anthony Bourdain’s series.

I still like the stars and their shows but, at a certain point, I realized I’d seen enough.

 

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My upstairs neighbor has been blaring music today, loud enough to make my framed Frazetta (look it up) shimmy on the wall. But that’s OK.

If there is one time of day it should be socially acceptable to play deafening music, it’s Saturday afternoons.

 

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© 2010-2018 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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