Monthly Archives: November 2019

grouchyeditor.com Namath

 

More Celebrities You Like That I Hate:

 

grouchyeditor.com Ferrell

 

I suppose it’s possible that at some point over the years I saw Will Ferrell (above) in something and thought he was funny but, if so, I’ll be damned if I can remember it.

 

grouchyeditor.com Namath

 

Over the years, I have grown to really, really dislike Joe Namath (above, and at top). He’s neither cute nor amusing. He’s an annoying old drunk with an irritating vocal delivery. Any word with a consonant followed by the letter “l,” Namath adds a syllable. Flute becomes “fuh-lute”; include becomes “in-cu-lude.” Drives me nuts.

 

grouchyeditor.com Oprah

 

Oprah (above) is a predator, preying on people’s emotions from her exalted status as a “strong black woman.” Ugh.

 

grouchyeditor.com Ellen

 

Ellen DeGeneres (above). Hard to pinpoint exactly what it is about her that irks me. Something seems very fake about her. And no, it has nothing to do with watching football games with Bush.

 

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Every day, we are bombarded with fake headlines. Doesn’t matter if what you’re reading is left-leaning or right-leaning or apparently impartial, they all run fake headlines.

I know this, because I used to write some of them.

The problem would be solved if the media learned to regularly use a simple four-letter word: “says.”

A headline that reads “Senator X believes he will win the election,” or “Kim Kardashian wants more space for gerbils” – fake, both of them.

I take that back. They might be true, but the headline writer doesn’t know that. The headline writer is not a mind reader. The only thing the headline writer knows is that Senator X says he believes he will win the election, and Kim Kardashian says she wants more space for gerbils.

 

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grouchyeditor.com Crown

 

I finished season three of The Crown and my verdict is in. The first half of the season is brilliant television. The second half is very good television – not quite up to the standard of the first half, but hey, very good is still very good.

 

grouchyeditor.com Crown

 

How is it that the British seems to have an endless supply of great actors? The same thing happened with the Harry Potter movies. Just when you think they can’t possibly add another outstanding thespian to the cast, they do.

 

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I thought about doctoring a photo and placing Trump’s head on a porn star’s naked body. But then I thought better of it.

I didn’t want to destroy the last shred of sanity remaining in the far left’s collective head.

 

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grouchyeditor.com face mite

 

Speaking of heads, the average person has many microscopic face mites living on his or her head – hundreds of them for sure; possibly thousands.

Think about that next time you kiss a loved one.

 

 

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Early reviews for season three of The Crown (above) are mostly glowing. What’s strange is that most of the naysayers seem to be members of the British press.

I’ve just watched most of the new season and believe we might as well just give it all the Emmys right now. Yes, it has a new cast, but the drama is just as good as ever.

Just as bad as ever: the Prince of Pedophiles (below).

 

 

Can’t wait for that miniseries.

 

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Uh, I don’t think so. A “screw-up” implies something unintentional. This looks more like an intentional hit followed by an intentional cover-up.

 

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Apparently much of the mainstream and social media are reluctant to out the Trump “whistleblower.” Screw that. Here is his name and here is his picture:

 

 

Eric Ciaramella

 

He looks exactly like the stereotypical millennial snowflake: soft features, prissy, arrogant expression, and a beard to compensate for a near-complete lack of masculinity.

Unless, of course, it turns out that this guy is not the whistleblower, but is simply some dweeb who toils in a cubicle. In which case … oops.

 

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I don’t know. When even Tim Pool finds it necessary to do a story about the fart heard round the world, well …. I’m sure that sooner or later, we’ll get to the bottom of it.

 

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Don’t forget, this is the guy who got excited when prank phone-callers told him they had nude pictures of Trump:

 

 

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Barring some new major scandal in the coming year – admittedly, always a possibility with this president – I think the country should prepare for four more years of Donald Trump.

 

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Last week I said that I was dreading the upcoming release of Black Christmas – the second remake in the past 13 years of my all-time favorite horror movie (see my review of the original).

But perhaps I’m wrong. The trailer for the remake doesn’t look half bad.

I was curious about the new version’s director, a woman named Sophia Takal, so I Googled her and discovered that she is also an actress whose resume consists of ubiquitous nude scenes in movies you’ve never heard of — probably not a good sign for the new Black Christmas.

Introducing Sophia Takal:

 

 

Then again, Bob Clark, who directed the 1974 original, was also responsible for Porky’s. So, I guess you never know.

 

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Dinkle vs. King

 

 

 

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More views of the director of Black Christmas:

 

 

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Dolemite Is My Name

 

I’m old enough to remember when Eddie Murphy burst upon the American scene in movies like 48 Hrs., Beverly Hills Cop and, of course, on TV’s Saturday Night Live. It was a dynamic time for Murphy and for his audience, because we hadn’t seen anything quite like him.

So it’s a bit melancholic to see middle-aged Eddie in Dolemite Is My Name, sporting a pot belly and lacking that brash, youthful energy of days gone by. But Murphy retains some of that spark, and in Dolemite he’s given a role that leaves behind fat suits and haunted houses in favor of some depth. Alas, the story of 1970s comedian-turned-movie-“auteur” Rudy Ray Moore is oh-so-familiar and predictable. It’s in the same ballpark as Ed Wood and The Disaster Artist, but not quite as good. Release: 2019 Grade: B-

 

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Bits & Pieces

 

Once upon a time, I cast a vote for Bernie Sanders in the Democrat primary.

I must have been crazy.

 

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Once upon a time, I thought Stephen King was a pretty sharp cookie.

I must have been crazy.

 

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I opened my e-mail inbox and some Web site had sent me this picture of Jennifer Lawrence’s bare ass (and boob):

 

 

It might not be the world’s finest ass, but it is Jennifer Lawrence’s ass.

 

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I often suspect that Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham consider President Trump nothing but a useful idiot. Graham seems to want Trump only to keep our troops engaged in endless wars, and McConnell seems to want Trump only to enact tax cuts for the rich and to nominate conservative judges.

But what, exactly, does Trump ever get from them?

 

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I’m glad that I’m not 12 years old anymore. If I was 12 years old today with all of the porn available on the Internet, I would never leave the house.

 

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Once upon a time, when I was a young’un, I cast a vote for John Anderson for president.

Who is John Anderson, you ask?

Exactly.

 

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I’ll say this for Netflix: Like Blockbuster Video in the old days, it is now the nation’s repository of straight-to-video crap. However, unlike Blockbuster, I do not feel compelled to watch more than five minutes of Netflix’s crap, because it doesn’t feel like I’ve wasted my money and time driving to and from the store.

 

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Movie I want to see: Parasite

Movie soon opening that depresses me to think about: Black Christmas

 

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I suspect that a lot of people have kids because they can’t find an adult who will actually love them. Kids, by virtue of being kids, are basically hostages forced to love their parents — or else.

 

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Isn’t it about time we stop building these presidential libraries?

Most of our ex-presidents retire and get rich giving speeches and “consulting.”  Isn’t that enough of a post-presidency perk?

If we must spend taxpayer money on libraries, let’s use it to construct regular libraries in poor neighborhoods, and stop building expensive shrines to these dudes.

 

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Fire or Ice

 

I live in Minnesota and have endured scores of winters here. Last year was especially brutal, with bone-chilling temperatures that went on for weeks. This morning, November 2, I woke up to this depressing sight:

 

 

A few days ago I saw this headline:

 

 

What if the global-warming people have it backwards and Earth is about to turn into a giant ice-cube? I believe there was a Twilight Zone episode about something like that.

 

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Quid Pro Quo, or, “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours”

 

Silly me. I assumed this is a tactic that’s commonplace among all politicians, presidents, and other people with power.

Sorry, but Democrats seeking impeachment based on quid pro quo strikes me as a continuation of their three-year temper-tantrum-fueled crusade to oust Trump.

It appears that Dems are trying to boot Trump because, unlike predecessors Clinton, Bush, and Obama, Trump is a social bonehead. (OK, OK – Bush came close.)

Unfortunately for Nancy Pelosi and company, being a social bonehead is hardly a high crime or misdemeanor.

Plus, you are conducting secret impeachment meetings based on testimony from a secret whistleblower and if anyone in the public squawks about this, your reply is “just trust us.”

Uh … sure.

 

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Disgraced California Rep. Katie Hill is blaming her affair(s) with subordinate(s) on the patriarchy and/or misogyny.

My guess is that if her nudes were hot, she’d still be in office. Instead, we had to see this:

 

 

Also … who at the Daily Mail did that black-bar censoring of Katie’s crotch? A third grader?

 

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Gene Hackman, Jack Nicholson, Sean Connery ….

Usually when a long time goes by without our hearing from or about some big movie star, it means it won’t be long before we’re reading an obituary.

Haven’t heard squat from these guys in quite awhile ….

 

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According to The Daily Caller, the guy pictured above is a “Hollywood superstar.” Guess I need to pay more attention to pop culture.

 

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