Monthly Archives: June 2019

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June is a short month. That’s my excuse for not finding a movie that interested me enough to warrant a typical two-paragraph review in short.

I tried, but there is such a sea of mediocrity out there in Streaming Land that … sigh. I can barely muster the enthusiasm to write a sentence or two about the films I did watch, much less an entire paragraph. To wit:

 

The Wolf’s Call (2019) – France tries to do a Tom Cruise action flick without Tom Cruise or much action. Not a great idea, France.  Grade: C

 

The Isle (2019) – Plenty of atmosphere in this period piece about ghostly possession. Howling winds, candlelit cabins, and gorgeous outdoor scenery – but nothing remotely scary.  Grade: C-

 

Murder Mystery (2019) – Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston mingle with the beautiful people and try to find a killer. Sadly, Sandler and Aniston are no Nick and Nora Charles.  Grade: D

 

© 2010-2019 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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grouchyeditor.com soccer    

Let me count the reasons we should hope that the U.S. women’s soccer team gets bumped off in the World Cup:

1) They are poor sports and showoffs; when you win by a score of 13 to zip, celebrating after every goal just tells the world you are a bunch of jerks; 2) the team supposedly represents the U.S., yet one of them protests the national anthem. Why should the country support you when you don’t support the country? 3) they play soccer, which bores the heck out of me. I am supposed to wish you well in a sport I don’t like just because you are female?

 

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To Trump or Not to Trump

 

The problem with Donald Trump isn’t just Donald Trump; it’s the insane reaction to him. If you’re sick and tired of all the whining and rancor that seems – at least on TV and Twitter – to be tearing the country apart, deciding whom to vote for next year is a devilish dilemma.

On the one hand, Trump is in office as a gigantic “fuck you” to the establishment and the (mostly liberal) status quo. In his role as a “fuck you,” Trump has been an unqualified success. But on the other hand … does anyone really want four more years like the past two howling, snarling, civil-war-inducing years?

If the Democrats had a candidate who is neither 1) completely off the rails and beholden to the radical left, nor 2) pretending to be beholden to the radical left and simply lying to get elected, I think a lot of Trump supporters would switch sides, simply to return to some sense of normalcy. It would be a relief.

But the Dems aren’t doing that. They continue to throw an all-encompassing temper tantrum and threaten to create an entirely new country. So the choice is four more years of Trump, or electing a Democrat whom we hope is lying to us.

 

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grouchyeditor.com Rosehaven

 

Good sitcom you are not watching:

Rosehaven, now in its third season. It’s funny. It’s good. Enough said.

 

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What are these ladies looking at?

 

 

One peculiar byproduct of the Internet/cell phone age: The flasher who films women who are filming him as he flashes them.  Follow that?

There is an anonymous flasher, apparently in Spain or some nearby country, who is a master at his “craft.” He boards a bus or subway train, clad in loose shorts with no underwear, and then sits spread-legged on a bench. Eventually, some comely girl or a group of them will sit across from him on a facing bench. Concealed somewhere on his person – evidently near his crotch – is a small video camera.

We all know how observant females are, particularly when it comes to others’ dress (or lack thereof), so it’s not surprising that in no time at all these bench-seated ladies notice our friend the flasher and the fact that his willie is on display. (In most of the videos, the guy furnishes a glimpse of his exposed noodle before panning back to whichever woman happens to be sitting across from him.)

Very soon after spotting his (rather small) appendage, the ladies invariably – probably 90 percent of them do this – train their phone-cameras on his penis to capture a souvenir. It’s all very bizarre.

We asked Rip van Dinkle to comment on this phenomenon via the screen captures below. Rip certainly knows what it’s like to have his penis laughed at (and filmed) by women who are strangers to him – hundreds of thousands of them, in fact. Possibly millions, thanks to numerous Web sites. That’s Rip serving wine to three sexy babes in the picture below.

 

 

We’ve also published the videos. Most of them come from the same source, an exhibitionist who goes by the name “pierced dick flasher,” or something like that. We call him the “Flasher King” (FK). 

Most of the videos — but not all of them — have sound.

 

**

 

Says Rip: “Notice how the women all seem to feel entitled to trophy photos of the guy’s private parts? You just know these women would be outraged if some dude captured an upskirt and then shared the picture with his buddies.

“Also, as guys we are admonished never, ever to send unsolicited dick pics. It’s OK, though, for girls to take unsolicited dick pics. Can you say ‘double standard’? It’s all about power and control, baby.” 

 

See the ugly bare knee at far left? It belongs to our hero, the Flasher King. His camera is concealed somewhere very near to his (exposed) crotch, and is trained on the lassies seated across from him. Girl on the left has just noticed FK’s dick and is sharing her discovery with the girl to her left.

The girl in the middle has a none-too-subtle peek.

Now all three of them are in the know. They seem to be looking directly into the camera, which makes me admire how FK has cleverly concealed it. It must be quite small — the camera, that is, although FK, as you can see below, is also quite small.

Hmmm … now that the girls have this information, what will they do with it?

Chick on the right is first to come up with the brilliant idea: film it with her phone’s camera, of course.

Such fun!

Girl in the middle: “Hey, I have a camera, too!”

The cutie on the left is delighted that her discovery has led to this.

Girl on the left: “Hey, I want a souvenir too.”

“There’s his little weenie.”

The giggling is over. Capturing this guy’s cock has become serious business.

Everyone gets a trophy!

The girl in the middle is quite pleased with her work.

Let’s compare notes.

These will be such fun to share! Not with their boyfriends, of course, but with other girlfriends.

OK, now that we’ve documented the evidence, let’s have another look at him.

Brunette on the left has a look at FK’s face. Evidently he’s quite good at hiding what he’s really up to. Is he pretending to sleep? Or is he watching his concealed camera’s work on his own cell phone? Either way, it’s a successful strategy.

Near the end of his videos, FK likes to either a) capture another angle of the girls, or b) capture a close-up view of their butts and/or legs.

 

The video:

 

**

 

The cute girl below is a nice example of an interesting phenomenon: When the ladies are in groups, their reaction to FK and his package is generally (in this order) shock/surprise, shared glee at the discovery, and then the serious business of filmed documentation.

On the other hand, when alone, like the girl below, stage two (glee) is either missing or disguised. In fact, this cutie seems downright horny.

The initial discovery.

Try as she might, she simply cannot stop looking.

We see this technique a lot: scratch your head or pretend to study your arm/hand, all the while sneaking more peeks.

She has nice legs.

“Is anyone else seeing this? Or do I have the view to myself?”

“Whew — this is making me hot.”

“If I slide back and down a bit, I can get a better view.”

“His cock is pierced.”

This caption was evidently inserted by FK himself. If he was indeed erect, it might explain the lustful look in the girl’s eyes.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

The girl on the left below has an interesting reaction. At first, she resembles an archaeologist observing an intriguing find. But look at the girl on the right — is she completely oblivious, or is she busy filming?

I think she’s busy filming. The giveaway is her smirk a few screen captures below.

Girl on the left doesn’t seem worried about getting caught staring. Makes me think FK is doing his sleeping and/or phone-screen-study routine.

“Ooohhh … I have a camera too!”

As sexual kinks go, this one seems pretty clearly a win win win. The girls get what they want, FK gets what he wants, and we get to see the whole thing.

Girl on the right seems unimpressed. Probably because she’s been busy capturing the same view.

Girl on the left is quite pleased with herself, seems to be thinking: “Look at that stupid guy; he has no idea I just filmed his little pecker!”

Now that she has him on film, time to study his manhood a bit more.

Isn’t this fun?

Wait … she’s not making the “small penis” sign, is she?

“Hmmm … wonder what that little thing would feel like.”

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

Girl on the right has a secret to share.

Once again, looking straight into the camera. How does he conceal it?

Girl on the left has suddenly gotten happy.

“I see London, I see France, he ain’t got no underpants.”

The hand/arm/scratching routine begins.

To my mind, this hand/arm business makes your peeking more conspicuous, not less.

Enjoying the view.

Sure, nothing obvious about what you’re doing.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

The brunette on the right below is very into this situation. What would she think, one wonders, if some creepy dude was following her around taking upskirts?

Telling her friend. Friend’s initial disbelief.

“You’re right … I can see it.”

Camera time!

Wonder if it has a zoom lens. Somewhere out there, there exists footage of FK’s face. There must be, with this many girls filming him.

Look!

We can both do this, swap videos later.

Girl on the right wants to see FK’s face.

Brunette on the right, satisfied that FK is clueless, studies his junk.

Ladies at leisure.

“That’s a good one.”

Girl on right gets up to get another angle. FK takes the opportunity to nearly nab an upskirt.

Not sure if she’s hoping to get another view of his package or of his face.

Hands to the face, the sneaky photographer.

Pretty brazen here. Makes me think his eyes might be closed.

Looks like she got what she wanted.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

Here’s another sociological experiment. It’s all fun and games when there are two girls, but as soon as the girl on the left is alone, capturing FK’s cock becomes serious business. *

“Is that what I think it is?”

Girl on the right is clueless.

Dark-haired girl simply must share this information.

Girl on right has to leave. FK has to film her butt.

Alone now. Time to get serious.

“Ahh yes, there it is.”

“Oh, I got him good!”

 

The video:

 

* My bad. Upon re-viewing the video, the brunette is not left alone. Her friend stands up to pose for a (ruse?) photo – apparently providing cover for a surreptitious shot of FK.

 

**

 

Something about these long-haired brunettes. It’s almost as if they have prepared for and expected this moment their entire lives, and are more than ready to document the event once it finally happens.

Girl on left is first to make the discovery.

Girl on the right frightens me. Scary looking.

Camera in the purse …

Seems like she might have done this before.

Girl on left has another look.

Scary girl on right shows she is capable of smiling.

Good shot!

FK nails some legs.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

OK, this is not FK’s work. It’s some other dude, and it might be staged. I’m not convinced that the two girls in the background would react this way to a man who is so brazenly stroking his cock just a few feet away. Then again, perhaps some girls would. You be the judge.

Girl on the left does not appear to be filming him; her camera’s at the wrong angle.

Blondie on the right is a cutie, but is she really a stranger to the flasher?

Filming him now.

I don’t know. Her facial expressions seem genuine.

Girl on left appears to capture some footage on her way out.

We’ve edited the ending of the video below because it’s gross. Let’s just say he has a happy ending.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

The girl at far left interests me. Although she could be filming FK in the screen capture above, mostly she seems much less intrigued by the flasher than are the other girls.

Open-mouthed lass learns about the wayward penis from girl in white.

Girl in white gets busy filming.

Chick on far left is told the big news, seems only mildly interested.

She gets up to leave and FK nails an upskirt. Are those black granny panties?

Serious peeking.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

They just planned to go shopping. Did not expect this.

Gotta love those cell phone cameras.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

Brunette second from left is first to spot the penis. Girl at far left maintains her composure until she can no longer maintain her composure.

The peeking-beneath-my-arm tactic.

Girl at far right has apparently never seen a grown man’s penis. Or a pierced one.

Blonde at far left can no longer contain it.

FK captures the brunette’s ass.

 

The video:

 

 

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Reserved Asian girl. Will she betray her true feelings?

Filming.

Still filming.

I see a smirk!

The satisfied look of a job accomplished.

 

The video (at about 2:40):

 

 

**

 

This is the second video on this page that I feel might be staged. Everything is too perfect. Again, this is not an FK video.

Supposedly, this girl eventually spots the guy’s camera. She then gets pissed off. Maybe so. Maybe not.

Very high quality capture … if it is for real.

Scrunch face.

Girl on the right seems oblivious.

The look of triumph.

Actually, since there are two girls in this video, it’s a bit less likely to be staged.

This is where she allegedly spots his camera.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

FK has found another extremely attractive girl. She has found his penis.

Must film it.

Another near-upskirt when she leaves.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

This chick was about to fall asleep when she looked between FK’s legs.

She’s awake now.

Anyone else seeing this?

Must examine his dick … small.

Check out his face.

Second look.

 

The video (see video above for “Reserved Asian Girl,” at about 3:45)

 

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**

 

Geez, wonder how many hours FK spent on the train or subway or whatever. He certainly filmed lots of ladies. And lots of ladies certainly filmed him. Not these two, however.

 

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Soccer moms spot something to brighten their day.

 

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Thinks she’s pretty sneaky. Thinks she’ll film his cock.

 

The video (see video above for “extremely attractive” girl, at about :40)

 

**

 

The girl on the right enjoys the show. Not sure if the feminist on the left agrees.

Feminist on left: “Typical stupid male. Doesn’t even realize his sex organs are on display.”

 

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Don’t have a clue what she’s thinking. But she has mastered “the stare.”

 

The video (see video above for “extremely attractive” girl, at about 3 minutes)

 

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Female on the left looks angry about something. But FK’s prick cheers her up. Maybe. Hard to tell.

Chick on the right gets the perfect angle. Does her camera have a zoom?

They have a job to do.

Girl on right admires her work.

 

**

 

She is alone, so this will be all business.

 

**

 

She looks like a Women’s Studies professor. Perhaps she is. Doing research for class.

 

**

 

If she’d turn just a bit, FK could film her junk while she films his.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

If she just leans forward a bit, can get a better view …

 

**

 

Over the years, we’ve all heard a lot about the “male gaze.” We’ve also been told that men, in general, are more visually oriented than are women.

But watching these subway videos makes me wonder. What you see in this post is an awful lot of “gazing” – and photographing – for a gender that’s supposedly not into looking at naked men.

 

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

Last but by no means least, two girls on a bus. This guy, like FK, provides a quick glimpse of his junk so that we know what the girls are looking at.

 

Nothing to see yet. Just a boring bus ride.

They’ve seen it.

Camera time.

Would they smile like that if he was hung like a horse? Or would they be awestruck? We’ll never know.

Blonde decides to hide behind her cup while she films. Very clever.

Mission accomplished. One more look as they get off the bus.

True.

The face of a girl who is looking at your cock.

 

The video:

 

 

**

 

The Face of a Girl Who Is Examining Your Cock When She Thinks You Aren’t Looking

 

 

 

 

 

And finally, just in case you have neither the time nor the inclination to watch all of the videos above, someone has created a nifty little compilation video. Here it is:

 

 

 

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“Kenneth, what is the frequency?”

 

UFOs and (possible) space aliens continue to make the news.

Tucker Carlson keeps reporting on them, and YouTube features a wealth of UFO-related videos. President Trump was asked this week about the phenomenon.

If you’re a certain age, none of this is particularly new. You recall the above quote, in which a hapless Dan Rather was accosted by a stranger on the street, and you think: “Aha. Sounds like a question some space alien would pose.”

 

 

First Theory

 

My guess is that the aliens have been observing Earthlings for some time and have decided that we are at a tipping point. What tipped the point is the following: Thanks to the Internet, American Deplorables decided that too much wealth and power is in the hands of too few Americans (the “elite”) and said, “enough!” And so they elected Trump. And so we got Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren.

Meanwhile, also thanks to the Internet, Third World denizens decided that too much wealth and power is in the hands of too few people (Americans and Western Europeans) and said, “enough!” And so they are storming the borders of Western Europe and America.

In other words, if Congolese tribal communities weren’t sitting around watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians on their cell phones, none of this would be happening.

The aliens are simply watching these earthly developments, trying to decide whether or not to step in — or they are just enjoying the show.

 

Second Theory

 

So how do you recognize a space alien? I suspect it is the Sleepy Eye.

Aliens recognize each other on the street by the distinctive-yet-subtle facial feature of one sleepy eye on a human face. Some of these sleepy-eye aliens are in the public eye, so to speak. Two examples:

 

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                                 Sleepy eye on the right                               Sleepy eye on the left

 

Lest you make the mistake of thinking that Sleepy Eye Aliens all disguise themselves as older white males, here is another example:

 

Fox reporter Christina Coleman; sleepy eye on the right

 

So what does any of this have to do with that stranger accosting Dan Rather on the street? It does not appear that Rather has a sleepy eye. Actually, both of his eyes look somewhat sleepy (below).

 

 

My best guess is that Rather had a mote or some other irritation in one of his eyes, and was temporarily afflicted with the alien-recognition cue.

 

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Addendum: If this week’s review seems uncharacteristically off the wall, I blame it on the fact that I am currently reading a book by David Foster Wallace, a famous writer who took his own life in 2008. Wallace was very smart but also a bit weird. I in no way claim that the above post is very smart, but I think we can all agree that it is weird.

 

Addendum 2: I just recalled that there is a small town in Minnesota named Sleepy Eye. My guess is that Sleepy Eye is in reality an alien hub or base of operations.

 

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Black Mirror

 

TV Updates

 

The Name of the Rose: In case you hadn’t noticed, this is 2019 and the midst of the “Me Too” era. And so if you’re going to remake Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose (there was a 1986 film), it must have a “strong female character.” Or two. Never mind the fact that Eco’s novel and the Sean Connery movie relegated female characters to minor and/or victim status (it’s been awhile since I read the book; perhaps I’ve forgotten something).

Political correctness aside, Sundance TV’s eight-part miniseries, like the 1986 movie, is great fun to look at (it’s set at a mountaintop medieval abbey), and is bolstered by some superb actors.

I’m a sucker for a great villain, and I challenge you to find a better boo-hiss bad guy than Rupert Everett’s Bernardo Gui (below).

 

 

Black Mirror: Charlie Brooker’s Twilight Zone for the 2000s remains thought-provoking, and often touching. But something’s missing that was there in the early seasons.

That something, methinks, is the word “clever.” The new season playing on Netflix consists of three movie-length stories that are never dull, but lack that “wow” factor that so distinguished the show when it was an obscure British offering.

Is this change a result of selling out to the American behemoth Netflix, with its (presumable) insistence on casting big-name American stars and writing scripts with happier endings? Or has Brooker simply run out of gas?

 

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You would think that someone in Trump’s inner circle would point out that the above photo op during his interview with George Stephanopoulos resembles nothing so much as a prosecutor grilling a defendant, but then again there are lots of questions about Trump’s inner circle.

 

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I have only recently gotten used to the fact that there is a major league baseball player named Evan Longoria, and now I learn that there is an outfielder for the Detroit Tigers named Christin Stewart.

 

**

 

Some kid pitched a no-hitter and my local paper decided this was a good picture to post in honor of the occasion:

 

 

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Hey, I’m an old-timer. I still get most of my news from cable TV and the print media. But they tell me that is not the future. The future, they say, is online. 

I read RealClearPolitics because, at least in theory, the left and the right are evenly represented. You can read what The Daily Caller says about Trump and then you can read what The Daily Beast says about Trump. Somewhere in between all the spin, you hope, lies the truth. I also check TV ratings to see who’s on top, Hannity or Maddow. But the future, they say, is online.

And so I’ve been following the “adpocalypse” on YouTube, in which parent company Google is evidently pissing off every American under 50 years old by haphazardly censoring content providers on both the left and the right, because Google doesn’t seem to know what the hell it’s doing. Or it does know what the hell it’s doing and nobody’s happy about it.

This all began because of a feud between two snot-nosed brats named Steven Crowder (a conservative) and Carlos Maza (a liberal). I watched a bit of their content and decided I don’t like either one of them. They come off as over-educated, whining brats.

 

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                                       Sniveling Carlos                                                 Ranting Steven

 

Crowder and Maza are both Millennials. The future, they say, is online and the future is Millennials. 

God help all of us.

 

**

 

Lest I be accused of ageism with my tut-tutting about youth online, I should mention that it’s not all so bleak on YouTube. There is a guy named Tim Pool who posts about current events every day, and he seems level-headed, thoughtful, and well-informed. He’s likable. YouTube needs more Tim Pools.

 

Cool Tim Pool

 

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The Five’s Greg Gutfeld said that, in his opinion, the difference between a psychopath and a normal person is how he or she reacts to the spinning woman in this video:

 

 

If you reacted in horror, Gutfeld believes, you are normal. If you laughed hysterically, you lack human empathy and are likely a psychopath.

I watched the video and I was horrified. Once I learned that the woman was going to be OK, I laughed hysterically.

 

**

 

 

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by Bill Bryson

 

Bryson is a genial fellow, and very few writers do gentle humor better than he does, but this short biography (barely 200 pages) is really just an intro to The Bard.

What’s notable isn’t what we learn about Shakespeare, but how little we learn about Shakespeare. There simply isn’t much in the historical record, and what there is, is often incomplete or vague. Not Bryson’s fault, of course. He obviously loves Shakespeare and that feeling is contagious.

Even so, this is less a book about the great writer and more a picture of what life was like in England 400 years ago.  My advice: If you’re really into Shakespeare, find a more substantial book. And if you’re really into Bryson, he has better (and longer) works out there.

 

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Four Musings from an Old-Timer

 

1)  I have two day jobs, one in the white-collar world, and the other in the blue-collar world. The former is in the education field, the latter is in the, uh, warehouse field, I guess.

They have their pros and cons. The white-collar job is quiet, polite, and often boring. The blue-collar job is noisy, chaotic, but rarely boring.

In other words, if you are a functioning alcoholic, go white collar: You can snooze through your hangover. If you are young and energetic, go blue collar. You won’t be bored.

Better yet, win the lottery and just stay home.

 

2)  With politics, you have to take a break from all the sound and fury, because the depressing bottom line is this:

When Democrats/liberals/progressives criticize the other side, they are often correct: The other side is filled with knaves and scoundrels.

When Republicans/conservatives/Trump criticize the other side, they are often correct: The other side is filled with knaves and scoundrels.

You have to pick your poison.

 

 

3)  Unfortunately, I’m beginning to think of school/workplace shootings the same way I think about floods in the Midwest and tourists who fall off cliffs while taking selfies – tragic, but just part of the background noise.

 

4)  I watched the first episode of season three of Slasher on Netflix.

Big mistake.

It has nudity and gore, which is to be expected from this kind of thing. But mostly, it was “woke” messaging being shoved down the viewer’s throat.

 

I much preferred High Seas, a new Spanish series also on Netflix (pictured at top).

It’s a great-looking, old-fashioned mystery set on a 1940s ocean liner. If you’re in the mood for that sort of thing, this is that sort of thing.

 

I looked up the show’s stars and discovered that lead actress Ivana Baquero has a leaked sex tape. Or perhaps it’s from a movie. Conflicting reports.

Either way, you know you want to see it, so here you go:

 

 

**

 

 

Normally, this blonde on Fox – Ashley or Ainsley or whatever her name is – doesn’t do anything for me. But goodness … doesn’t she look like she just had a fun roll in the hay?

 

 

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