The Grouchy Editor

We Moved!

Our old homes – blog.grouchyeditor and blogsecond.grouchyeditor – no longer exist.  Go Daddy discontinued its Quick Blogcast service and so we have moved to WordPress.  Consequently, if you browse our archives pre-2013, you will notice formatting and design glitches.  We are diligently going back in time, fixing each entry, post by post.  This tedious process has reminded us, once again, why we are indeed grouchy editors.

*****

Why I’m Glad Fox News Exists:

The “missing” IRS e-mails.  We regular folk are constantly reminded that we can’t ever really delete our e-mails, because some clever tech-type can always retrieve them.  And yet, Lois Lerner’s e-mails are gone forever?  Fox News is on the case.

Why I Wish Fox News Would Vanish:

The Iraq dilemma.  Dick Cheney and his hawkish pals lied their way into this Middle East quagmire, and now they are given a platform on Fox to whine about Obama’s failure to clean up their mess?

*****

They are still looking for a few good proofreaders at The Huffington Post: 

*****

From Reuters: “U.S. senators heavily criticized the marketing practices of e-cigarette companies on Wednesday, saying their use of glamorous models, celebrities and cartoon characters attracts children.”

If you are going to criticize companies for using models, celebrities, and cartoons in their ads, you might as well go ahead and just ban all advertising.

*****

Lots of bad news this week, so let’s take a break from politics and look at Miley Cyrus’s ass.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

The Tony Awards:  When you start your telecast with five minutes of Hugh Jackman bouncing up and down like a 12-year-old girl on a pogo stick, please don’t ask why your show doesn’t attract bigger ratings.

*****

Quotes of the Week

“Unless they have a small pecker.” — Joanne Nosuchinsky on Red Eye, reacting when another panelist said that wealthy men tend not to boast.

“We came out of the White House not only dead broke,  but in debt … we struggled to, you know, piece together the resources for mortgages, for houses.”  – Hillary Clinton.  Nice to know that our potential FFP (first female president) is just as blind as any male politician to the lifestyle of average Americans.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

*****

Playboy used to run advertisements that asked the rhetorical question, “What sort of man reads Playboy?”  I was curious about “what sort of woman attends a small-penis pageant,” and so I visited the King’s County Bar’s Facebook page to see which women plan to giggle and ogle men with small peckers as they are measured for the ladies’ entertainment.  Here are a few of the wicked females who plan to attend:

hmmmm … where do I sign up?

*****

Right now there are just two shows I will go out of my way to watch – Fargo and Louie – and they both happen to be on FX.   FX is about to premiere a boatload of new series, and that makes me very happy.

*****

Nancy Grace is upset with The Slender Man.  Now that’s a wrestling match I’d pay to watch.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

The British royals don’t like it when media publishes pictures like this one, in which Kate Middleton had a wardrobe malfunction, so here you go.

*****

CNN’s Brooke Baldwin interviewed I Dream of Jeannie star Barbara Eden and mistook her for Bewitched’s Elizabeth Montgomery.  This is what happens when you let a young puppy like Baldwin interview a Baby Boomer icon:

“Will you wiggle your nose for me?” – Baldwin

“Well, that was the other girl.  I didn’t wiggle.” – Eden

*****

I can’t imagine any human male willingly going anywhere near her ass, so I guess we can’t blame her for getting excited when something else does.

*****

Jerk Politicians of the Week

Dick Cheney, who inexplicably feels qualified to criticize the current administration, called Obama “weak.”

John Kerry called Edward Snowden a coward for not returning to America to face “justice.”  Kerry knows damn well that espionage laws allow for no such thing.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

I never thought I’d feel the urge to defend the owner of a Dallas sports team but, poor Mark Cuban.  He made the mistake of ignoring political correctness and speaking the truth about race, and now he’s getting hammered.

I would love to place some of these self-righteous, cable-news talking heads on an inner-city street at midnight, alone, and then see how gallant they are when approached by a group of A) teenage, hoodie-clad black guys, or B) teenage, tattooed white skinheads.

*****

I’m not sure that I believe this guy is really “dead.”  I mean, look at him.  Plus, his name is an anagram of Rufos Dracule.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

This heroic cat business is forcing some of us to rethink our opinion of felines.  Good-guy cats and villainous dogs?  Has hell frozen over?

Now they are saying that the cat is slated to throw out the first pitch at a ballgame.  No word on whether or not she is a southpaws.

*****

It was nice to see so much media attention given to The Kiss this week.  As usual, we here at grouchyeditor were ahead of the curve, having shined the spotlight on Thomas Edison’s groundbreaking 1896 movie as our “Free Flick of the Week” for March 28, 2011.

*****

Barbara Walters retiring?  Yeah, right.  I’m betting that she will vanish from the scene just like Larry King vanished from the scene.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

If you are a middle-aged, homely comedian – but you do have a successful TV show – one of the perks is that you get to write love scenes for yourself and hot young actresses.  If you don’t believe that, just ask Marc Maron, above, and Louis C.K., below.

One of the circus acrobats injured in a “human chandelier” act that went bad last week is named Samantha Pitard.

Because we will go to any extreme to create an awful pun, we thought we’d mention that, in the picture above, it’s quite possible that one of the girls is being hoisted by her own Pitard.

They claim the magic age is 70, but I can attest that it happens much earlier than that.

Jessica Alba told Glamour magazine why she has a no-nudity clause in her film contracts:  “I don’t want my grandparents to see my boobs,” Alba explained.  “That’s it.  It would be weird at Christmas.  And I mean, really, if you look at the movies I have done, getting naked would never elevate the picture.”

I guess Jessica didn’t mind her grandparents seeing her butt-ass-naked spanking scene in The Killer Inside Me, pictured below.  

Public Service Announcement:  Our Web-site host announced that it will stop providing that service in June.  We here at grouchyeditor are working feverishly to migrate this site to a new location, but in the meantime, if you visit us and your computer explodes, you’ll know why.

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Last week we showed how Delino DeShields’s face exploded when struck by an errant baseball.  This week, we show how NBA commissioner Adam Silver’s ears exploded when exposed to an audiotape of Clippers owner Donald Sterling.

60 Minutes did a great piece about a 104-year-old Brit who saved 669 children during World War II.  Nicholas Winton, above right, was a stockbroker. Hard to believe that, once upon a time, someone in that now-reviled profession could act heroically.  Speaking of stockbrokers …

“It’s the reputational damage that this administration has done to Wall Street.  Wall Street is considered … like the devil, to most people’s mind. One of the reasons why is the constant attacks.”  – Fox correspondent Charles Gasparino, above, explaining Wall Street’s resentment toward Obama.

Oh, boo hoo.  If only the rest of us would stop being so mean to the bankers and stock analysts on Wall Street, those selfless patriots who had nothing to do with the financial collapse.  Perhaps if we apologized they would eventually forgive us and things could go back to normal.
 

“Drive yourself to Oberrickenbach …. Man, can you imagine being in a spelling bee in Germany?” – cowboy Cord or cowboy Jet – I can’t tell them apart – struggling with spelling and geography in Switzerland on The Amazing Race.

*****

George Clooney got engaged to Amal Alamuddin, below left.  I had no idea that the late, great Hugh Griffith, below right, had a daughter. 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)