The Grouchy Editor

 

If there was any doubt that Donald Trump continues to represent the horny American male, one need only take note of one of the first congressional Democrats that Trump chose to consult: Hawaii’s Tulsi Gabbard (above and below).

 

Hey, someone has to notice these things.

 

 

 

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We are being swamped with thoughtful analyses from journalists coming to grips with the presidential election. Everyone seems to agree that Trump won because a large segment of the American population felt ignored by Clinton and the Democrats.

 

My question: Where were all of these thoughtful analyses before November 8?

 

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If you’re a fan of interesting rants, here’s an interesting post-election rant from British comedian/journalist “Jonathan Pie.”

 

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Is there a more awkward-sounding or awkward-looking word than “awkward”? Onomatopoeia at its best, baby.

 

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We all need a break from Trump talk, so let’s check in with one of the five remaining houseguests on Big Brother, Texas cheerleader Morgan, to see what she’s been up to during the election season:

 

 

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Hail to the Coif?

 

I don’t know; maybe Donald Trump really will wake up one day, filled with rage at Latvia or Colombia or New Zealand, and push the button that nukes us all into World War III. Maybe Trump will decide that deporting Mexicans isn’t enough, and start shipping Mormons to Antarctica.

However … the golden-haired Grinch had a Rocky-like thing going for him on election day, in which we all watched in amazement as the country’s elite – every last one of them aligned against Trump – was forced to swallow a slimy raw egg.

It was delicious to observe pompous asses like Van Jones, Seth Meyers, Samantha Bee, Lena Dunham, and so on and so on, choke back tears as their arrogance and smugness came back to bite them in the collective butt.

And it was gratifying to hear the heart of the country, the so-called “blue wall,” tell the smirking know-it-alls on both coasts to “fly over this!”

 

But I’m not going to gloat. I’m too busy building a bomb shelter.

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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It looks like Tuesday will be “National Cut Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face Day.”

 

We’re cutting off our noses because we can’t stand the smell of our presidential candidates.

 

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The real winner on Tuesday will be Stupid. You are Stupid if you vote for Trump. You are Stupid if you vote for Clinton. You are assuredly Stupid if you don’t vote, or if you vote for someone other than Trump or Clinton.

 

No matter what you do on Tuesday, Stupid wins.

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 Black Mirror (see below)

 

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“Hello, Mike Lindell!

“I have been seeing your commercial for ‘My Pillow.’ In fact, I have probably seen your commercial 5,433 times this year. Unfortunately, your irritating, omnipresent commercial is causing me to lose sleep. I tried counting sheep, but the fluffy white critters kept turning into – you guessed it – Your Pillows.

“Like you, I call Minnesota my home state. We should get together sometime. I believe I will find out your home address, come to your house in the middle of the night, and stuff Your Bleeping Pillow right up Your Bleeping Ass — sleep on that!”

 

 

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This can’t possibly be true … can it?

 

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TV Tidbits

 

 

Rectify, now in its final season, is one of those shows that’s a tough sell to potential viewers. I go over the story’s plot in my head and I put myself to sleep.  Recapping individual scenes doesn’t cut it. The tone is relentlessly downbeat.

Yet it’s arguably the best drama on TV. If you haven’t seen it, then you are like almost everyone else. But there’s always Netflix, if you’d like to catch up.

 

 

Speaking of Netflix, Black Mirror is back with six new episodes. Like Rectify, Black Mirror is one of the best shows on television. But it’s also given me a renewed appreciation for Rod Serling and his Twilight Zone, a series Black Mirror is often compared to.

Since 2011, Mirror creator Charlie Brooker has given the world a whopping … 13 episodes. Back in the day, as they say, Serling would crank out that many shows in just half a season.

 

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Texas cheerleader Morgan Willett keeps giving (some of) us reasons to check in at the Big Brother house:

 

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© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Lucky astronaut. I’m guessing there are about 300 million Americans who would prefer to watch this election from her vantage point.

 

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The Good News:  Looks like we’re about to tell Trump he’s fired – just as soon as Human Resources gets done with him.

 

The Bad News:  We will be crowning a Queen Hillary for the next four years.

 

The Really Bad News:  Beginning November 9, we’ll have to listen to the media gloat.

 

The Silver Lining:  Soon after November 9, the media will realize it destroyed one monster only to create another.

 

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The older he gets, the more ESPN’s Chris Berman reminds me of Lou Costello.

 

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© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Oooohhh, this is bad. 

I’m sure Hillary has never said anything vulgar about men when she was engaged in private conversation.

And my heart goes out to all of the TV pundits and politicians who are “horrified” by Donald Trump’s assault on basic human decency. I’m certain that they, too, have never uttered vulgarities about the opposite sex.

 

Listen, I’m not voting for Trump for a whole host of reasons. But if I did decide to support him, it would be a reaction to the frenzy of our national media. Trump might be unbalanced, but the press has become unprofessional and unhinged in its quest to bring him down — that’s the voters’ job.

 

*****

 

TV Tidbits

 

I’ve only seen two or three episodes of each new show on this list, so it’s possible they could improve (or get worse) during their runs, but here are my initial impressions:

 

 

Westworld (HBO) – It’s brainy science-fiction about robots and artificial intelligence, but it doesn’t seem to add much to what we already learned from HAL nearly 50 years ago in 2001: A Space Odyssey. The pilot episode was dreary and dull.  Early grade: C+

 

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Timeless (NBC) – Have you seen Rectify? Of course you haven’t; no one has. But it’s a fine drama and Abigail Spencer is superb in it. I guess she wanted something lighter that people would actually watch when she signed up for this fluffy and forgettable show.  Early grade: C

 

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This Is Us (NBC) – Just shoot me now.  Early grade: F

 

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The Good Place (NBC) – If you are charmed by Kristen Bell you will likely be charmed by this comedy. I’m guessing that Bell substituting “shirt” for “shit,” “fudge” for “fuck,” etc., will eventually stop sounding cute.  Early grade: C+

 

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Designated Survivor (ABC) – It had an explosive premiere, but as Kiefer Sutherland’s president grows more saintly, the show grows more preachy.  Early grade: C+

 

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Versailles (Ovation) – Sex and sin in the court of Louis XIV. Don’t expect Downton Abbey – this is much naughtier – but it’s juicy soap opera.  Ovation might have cut some of the steamier sex scenes for puritanical American eyes – if so, not a good thing.  Early grade: B  

 

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The Exorcist (Fox) — The good news: The end of the first episode had one of the best gut-punches I’ve seen on a TV series. The bad news: Well, it’s not really bad news. It’s just that the show seems to be settling into middling chills.  Early grade: B

 

 

Returning Shows

 

Ash vs. Evil Dead (Starz) – I enjoyed the first season, but I’m not sure if there’s enough meat on the bones of this horror-comedy to sustain another year.  Grade: B

 

American Horror Story (FX) and Scream Queens (Fox) – I’m thinking Ryan Murphy has too much on his plate. Instead of creating and supervising every show on the Fox/FX schedule, he ought to just concentrate on a single good one.  Grades: AHS – C+  SQ – C

 

*****

 

“If I had a show, I would have gone right after him.” — David Letterman on Trump

 

Yes, because Letterman would never dream of using his star power to take advantage of young women. Just ask his interns.

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)