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Synopsis: The first season of Netflix’s lavish drama about England’s royal family focuses on Elizabeth II, from her childhood through the 1950s.

 

When you watch any movie, you have to engage a suspension of disbelief. I consider Jaws a fairly realistic adventure film, but if you stop to think about it, is it really likely that a gigantic shark would menace three men in a boat for days on end? Similarly, docudramas that claim to be based on true stories take liberties to make the story more entertaining; watching Woodward and Bernstein sit at typewriters for hours and hours might be factual but, well ….

 

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And then there are shows like Netflix’s The Crown, a new series about Britain’s royal family. There’s no question that it’s well-produced (the budget is Netflix’s priciest ever), well-shot, well-acted, and well-written. It’s an absorbing piece of showmanship – but man, do you ever have to suspend disbelief. Or maybe that’s the wrong kind of suspension: You have to suppress your politics. At least I did.

The Crown asks you to forget that the soap opera you are watching is about people who have problems that are alien to the vast majority of viewers. If your neighbor’s love affair runs into insurmountable obstacles, she cannot console herself by throwing lavish parties for herself at a remote castle in Scotland. If my significant other cheats on me, I am not allowed to mope in perpetuity, because I still have to feed myself and pay the bills.

On the other hand, if you are royal family and have your every physical need and want catered to, at public expense, don’t expect much sympathy when your personal life doesn’t go exactly as planned.

There. That was my obligatory American rant.

 

.        crown3       crown4

 

If you can suspend your politics – something that might come easier to Brits than to their country cousins across the pond — The Crown will likely suck you in. The sets are spectacular, the attention to period detail is impressive, and it’s near-impossible to resist watching John Lithgow sputter and bellow as an elderly Winston Churchill.

Being a member of the British monarchy is such an odd, unnatural way to go through life – gilded slavery, at times – that it can’t help but be compelling fantasy. Especially for us commoners.   Grade: B+

 

 

Creator: Peter Morgan  Cast: Claire Foy, Matt Smith, Vanessa Kirby, Jeremy Northam, John Lithgow, Victoria Hamilton, James Hillier, Rip Torrens, Ben Miles, Jared Harris  Premiere: 2016

 

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Watch Trailers (click here)

 

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Sure does look like Donald Trump is draining the Washington swamp of crocodiles. Problem is, he’s restocking it with alligators. Mostly Goldman Sachs alligators.

 

The question could be: Who will the alligators eat first, taxpayers or Donald Trump?

 

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.                      grouchyeditor.com Oliver        grouchyeditor.com Trevor

 

If Trump is going to deport immigrants, I suggest he start by giving the boot to clueless newcomers John Oliver and Trevor Noah, who don’t seem to understand (or care) that the United States has a Midwest.

My guess is that the two of them watched an episode of Duck Dynasty and then decided they had a finger on the pulse of America’s heartland.

 

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I’m not digging Nat Geo’s Mars because I have an aversion to the woman who plays the crew’s captain (below). She is a humorless puke, and I dislike humorless pukes.

 

grouchyeditor.com Seung

 

I suppose that in real life, should I find myself stuck on Mars and battling to survive, I would want my captain to be a humorless puke. But I’m watching a TV show, so I don’t care to spend so much time with this particular humorless puke.

 

Did I mention that lately I am enamored of the term “humorless puke”?

 

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grouchyeditor.com Oreilly

 

Some enterprising grad student or media watchdog should document the amount of air time Fox News anchors devote to promoting their books. Led by “Buy My Book” Bill O’Reilly, so many minutes are spent on pitching memoirs and novels, you have to wonder how much real news gets sacrificed.

 

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grouchyeditor.com Department Q

 

Netflix keeps churning out original movies and series that don’t interest me. On the other hand, I’m grateful to Netflix for importing so many good foreign shows.

I just finished “Department Q,” a series of three films from Denmark, and I recommend it. It’s a cop drama that does suffer a bit from James Bond disease, in which the endings turn sensationalistic and silly, but everything else – intriguing characters, striking visuals, grim atmosphere – clicks.

 

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The Tribe

grouchyeditor.com Tribe

 

If you’re going to make a 130-minute film with no dialogue and no subtitles, your movie had better have everything else working in its favor. The Tribe does just that. Ukrainian filmmaker Myroslav Slaboshpytskyi’s drama about young deaf-mutes drawn into a life of crime is almost always absorbing – even though the actors “speak” only in sign language. Scenes do occasionally go on a bit too long, but overall this is a fascinating glimpse into a mostly silent, frequently violent world. Release: 2014  Grade: B+ 

 

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The Wailing

grouchyeditor.com Wailing

 

Locals begin committing bizarre crimes after a mysterious Japanese man moves to their South Korean village, and it’s up to some unsophisticated cops to investigate. The good news: The movie is well-shot, and the final half-hour is both scary and surprising. (Think you’ve figured out the twist? Think again.) The bad news: You do have to sit through two hours of standard-issue horror to reach that entertaining wrap-up.  Release: 2016  Grade: B

 

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Midnight Special

grouchyeditor.com Midnight

 

Midnight Special starts off well enough. Two men abduct an 8-year-old boy from a religious cult, and the three of them flee from cult members and FBI agents chasing them on the back roads of Texas. But there’s a catch: The boy is a willing participant in his own abduction, and the trio have a plan and an unspoken goal. It’s all very tense and mysterious. And then the story goes all “Kid with Supernatural Powers” on us and gets sillier and sillier until, at the film’s climax, I was thinking of Disney theme parks and Tinker Bell – a far cry from the dark and suspenseful first hour.  Release: 2016  Grade: B-

 

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grouchyeditor.com Tulsi Gabbard

 

If there was any doubt that Donald Trump continues to represent the horny American male, one need only take note of one of the first congressional Democrats that Trump chose to consult: Hawaii’s Tulsi Gabbard (above and below).

 

Hey, someone has to notice these things.

 

grouchyeditor.com Tulsi Gabbard

 

 

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We are being swamped with thoughtful analyses from journalists coming to grips with the presidential election. Everyone seems to agree that Trump won because a large segment of the American population felt ignored by Clinton and the Democrats.

 

My question: Where were all of these thoughtful analyses before November 8?

 

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grouchyeditor.com Pie

 

If you’re a fan of interesting rants, here’s an interesting post-election rant from British comedian/journalist “Jonathan Pie.”

 

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Is there a more awkward-sounding or awkward-looking word than “awkward”? Onomatopoeia at its best, baby.

 

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We all need a break from Trump talk, so let’s check in with one of the five remaining houseguests on Big Brother, Texas cheerleader Morgan, to see what she’s been up to during the election season:

 

grouchyeditor.com Morgan Willett

 

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grouchyeditor.com Moore

 

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coif

 

 

Hail to the Coif?

 

I don’t know; maybe Donald Trump really will wake up one day, filled with rage at Latvia or Colombia or New Zealand, and push the button that nukes us all into World War III. Maybe Trump will decide that deporting Mexicans isn’t enough, and start shipping Mormons to Antarctica.

However … the golden-haired Grinch had a Rocky-like thing going for him on election day, in which we all watched in amazement as the country’s elite – every last one of them aligned against Trump – was forced to swallow a slimy raw egg.

It was delicious to observe pompous asses like Van Jones, Seth Meyers, Samantha Bee, Lena Dunham, and so on and so on, choke back tears as their arrogance and smugness came back to bite them in the collective butt.

And it was gratifying to hear the heart of the country, the so-called “blue wall,” tell the smirking know-it-alls on both coasts to “fly over this!”

 

But I’m not going to gloat. I’m too busy building a bomb shelter.

 

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.                               grouchyeditor.com Hillary      grouchyeditor.com Donald

 

It looks like Tuesday will be “National Cut Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face Day.”

 

We’re cutting off our noses because we can’t stand the smell of our presidential candidates.

 

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The real winner on Tuesday will be Stupid. You are Stupid if you vote for Trump. You are Stupid if you vote for Clinton. You are assuredly Stupid if you don’t vote, or if you vote for someone other than Trump or Clinton.

 

No matter what you do on Tuesday, Stupid wins.

 

grouchyeditor.com butts

 

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Weiner

grouchyeditor.com Weiner

 

In case you haven’t had your fill of sleazy politics this election season, you can always check out this documentary, in which a film crew tailed disgraced politician Anthony Weiner and his wife Huma Abedin during Weiner’s doomed, 2013 mayoral campaign. Lots of lessons here: why good people don’t want to run for public office, why we as voters get the leaders we deserve, and so on. My takeaway is that we haven’t heard the last from this relatively young power couple — for better or worse. Release: 2016  Grade: B+

 

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Sing Street

sing-street

 

Sing Street is a minor miracle: a teen romance with minimal snark and cynicism, a feel-good movie with smarts. I wouldn’t have thought that possible in 2016. The story will be familiar to anyone who’s watched teen comedies – outcast Dublin kid starts a band to win the attention of a cute girl – but the characters are so personable, the dialogue so amusing, and the tone so good-natured that any lack of originality is forgiven. Oh, and the music isn’t half bad.  Release: 2016  Grade: A-

 

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mirror1

 Black Mirror (see below)

 

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“Hello, Mike Lindell!

“I have been seeing your commercial for ‘My Pillow.’ In fact, I have probably seen your commercial 5,433 times this year. Unfortunately, your irritating, omnipresent commercial is causing me to lose sleep. I tried counting sheep, but the fluffy white critters kept turning into – you guessed it – Your Pillows.

“Like you, I call Minnesota my home state. We should get together sometime. I believe I will find out your home address, come to your house in the middle of the night, and stuff Your Bleeping Pillow right up Your Bleeping Ass — sleep on that!”

 

pillow1

 

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trueornot

 

This can’t possibly be true … can it?

 

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TV Tidbits

 

grouchyeditor.com Rectify

 

Rectify, now in its final season, is one of those shows that’s a tough sell to potential viewers. I go over the story’s plot in my head and I put myself to sleep.  Recapping individual scenes doesn’t cut it. The tone is relentlessly downbeat.

Yet it’s arguably the best drama on TV. If you haven’t seen it, then you are like almost everyone else. But there’s always Netflix, if you’d like to catch up.

 

grouchyeditor.com Black Mirror

 

Speaking of Netflix, Black Mirror is back with six new episodes. Like Rectify, Black Mirror is one of the best shows on television. But it’s also given me a renewed appreciation for Rod Serling and his Twilight Zone, a series Black Mirror is often compared to.

Since 2011, Mirror creator Charlie Brooker has given the world a whopping … 13 episodes. Back in the day, as they say, Serling would crank out that many shows in just half a season.

 

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Texas cheerleader Morgan Willett keeps giving (some of) us reasons to check in at the Big Brother house:

 

.                                  willetta     willettb

 

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science

 

Seems so obvious. I don’t know why it takes science so long to figure these things out.

 

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baldwin

 

Brooke Baldwin didn’t know if Congress has term limits. And I used to think she was one of those sexy smart girls.

 

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Enough politics. Let’s check in with the Big Brother hamsters, who have no idea what’s going on in the world outside of their pretty little heads in their smelly little house.

 

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Twenty-four-year-old Shelby Stockton, above left, and 22-year-old Morgan Willett, above right, formed an alliance called “The Ball Smashers.” Shelby and Morgan also supply viewers with some memorable quotes:

 

Shelby:  “That’s my problem – I like small dicks, but really tall guys.”

 

morginch

 

In her Diary Room session shown above, it looks as though Morgan does not share Shelby’s taste in male organs. Morgan also told viewers, “I like balls.”

 

Below, Morgan moons the sun while tanning with fellow “Ball Smasher” Whitney Hogg.

 

morgan4

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.                    morgan    morgan-2

 

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