In which we bring you gorgeous starlets from the past, nude or semi-nude – hey, this new feature was Rip van Dinkle’s idea. He wanted to call this category “Party in Your Pants,” but we held firm for something classier.
Valerie Leon
Once upon a time, long before Harvey Weinstein, the men who made movies could exploit a starlet and not apologize for it. The girl was hired for the audience to ogle, and her character needn’t be written as “a strong woman.” Everyone knew what her strengths were: her T and her A.
Back then, you didn’t need to be a handsome stud to brazenly eyeball – and frequently fondle – a perky piece of ass. In fact, often it was the stereotypical “dirty old man” abusing his patriarchal power at the nubile young gal’s expense.
Case in point: Britain’s buxom Valerie Leon.
Director: “Valerie, this is where the dirty old men in the cast, the crew members, and the audience get to eyeball your goods. Show us your goods, dear.”
Much has been made of statuesque Valerie’s upper half, and justifiably so, but in this scene from The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer, yet another dirty old man is obsessed with her bubbly bottom, so much so that he can’t resist copping a feel up her miniskirt:
Here’s a video clip from the movie, featuring Valerie’s gorgeous gams and the old fart demonstrating sexual harassment in the workplace:
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I suppose that 45 years ago, the scene below, in which Valerie demonstrates how she would swallow your … banana … was considered quite daring:
Random goodness:
Finally, here are screen captures and a video clip of the closest Valerie ever got (at least, that we know of) to full nudity on screen — just some pasties and a thong in something called Zeta One (aka The Love Factor). Lucky actors who were able to manhandle and paw the nearly nude starlet:
The Zeta One video clip:
Rip’s Ranking:
. 
“I’d give her a higher score but, outside of her pasties-and-thong bit in some cheap, early-career movie called Zeta One, it doesn’t appear that she ever went nude. Cute face, though, and one heckuva rack. And now we know where the term ‘upskirt’ came from.”
Click here for Valerie Leon’s IMDB page.
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