Maid1

 

The Housemaid promises to deliver the mother of all Korean catfights.  It doesn’t quite come through, but watching the four female leads as they lie, scheme, and shift loyalties makes for some ticklish good fun in director Im Sang-soo’s remake of a 1960 Korean classic.

At the heart of all this estrogen-fueled enmity is, naturally, a man.  When innocent young Eun-yi (Jeon Do-yeon) is hired as a nanny by a wealthy pregnant woman, it isn’t long before the woman’s lascivious husband (Lee Jung-Jae) is bedding the girl.  Complicating matters is an older housekeeper (Youn Yuh-jung), an embittered woman who takes an instant dislike to Eun-yi.

The illicit affair between husband and housemaid is soon uncovered, and at this point the movie gains momentum, spinning an elaborate game of cat-and-mouse between servants, the wife, and the wife’s mother.  There are shades of Hitchcock here – Rebecca and Notorious, in particular – and the proceedings are imaginatively photographed, with cameras gliding in and out of elegant sets.

Unfortunately, that hoped-for catfight doesn’t really materialize.  Instead, Sang-soo gives us a denouement that strives to be shocking but is instead melodramatic and unsatisfying.  One character is singled out for revenge, but it’s the one female in the house who’s guilty of no wrongdoing.        Grade:  B

 

Maid2

 

Director:  Im Sang-soo  Cast:  Jeon Do-yeon, Lee Jung-Jae,  Woo Seo, Youn Yuh-jung, Park Ji-young  Release:  2010

 

Maid3            Maid4

Maid5

    Watch Trailers  (click here)

 

Maid6

                         

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Italy 

 

Anyone who’s seen the jaw-dropping 2010 documentary Videocracy isn’t surprised by the scandalous turmoil surrounding Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.  And anyone who’s read the true-crime book The Monster of Florence won’t be shocked by the madness on display in the Italian justice system.

Italy, sad to say, seems to be completely insane.

 

*****

 

Rosen       Lara

 

Free speech in America is alive and … not so well.  Not if you’re legendary reporter Helen Thomas, and not if you’re journalist Nir Rosen, who foolishly tweeted bad things about CBS’s Lara Logan.

Thomas had the temerity to criticize Israel — and was promptly forced into retirement by Hearst Newspapers.  As for Rosen, his timing was awful.  You do not tweet negative comments about a woman who just days earlier was sexually assaulted.  If Logan’s politics are war-mongerish, as Rosen asserts, he has every right to denounce them.  Just not right now.

 

Thomas

 

*****

 

Herkelman

 

This hullabaloo over a girl wrestler in Iowa is annoying.  Cassy Herkelman is in the news because she’s wrestling boys, has advanced to the state tournament, and won by forfeiture when a boy declined to wrestle her.  The boy was in a no-win situation:  If he wrestled Herkelman and won, the refrain would be, “You beat a girl — big deal!”  If he wrestled her and lost, “I can’t believe you lost to a girl!”

Meanwhile, Herkelman rides the feminist wave to glory.  But this isn’t about equality; it’s about an attitude that says girls can’t have just anything, they can have everything.

 

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Super1

 

I don’t have kids, so I suppose I could argue that I don’t have much at stake when it comes to the education of young Americans.  After all, they’re your kids, not mine.  Don’t I already pay enough taxes for their schooling?

But of course, nothing is that simple.  Your kids are going to cost me more in taxes or less in taxes, and they will directly or indirectly affect my quality of life in myriad ways, whether I like it or not.  Add to that this moral question:  Isn’t a quality education for all kids simply the right thing to do?

Waiting for “Superman,” like any good student (or teacher), asks a lot of provocative questions about the decline of public schools in America.  Should we send children to pricey charter schools, seven days a week and during the summer months?  If we don’t spend more on education now, will we wind up spending more later on bigger and better prisons?

As I write this, teachers in neighboring Wisconsin are protesting their governor’s efforts to scale back the clout of teachers’ unions.  Those protestors face an uphill battle, because much of the recession-weary public is in a sour mood, and movies like this one make it clear that teachers’ unions have a major public relations problem.  Director Davis Guggenheim tries to make a distinction between teachers, whom he depicts as (mostly) noble warriors, and their unions, which seem intractable and corrupt.  But aren’t those unions composed of … well, teachers?

If Waiting for “Superman” has a flaw, it’s that it tries to tackle too many complex issues in less than two hours.  But it has stirred up public debate, and that can only be a good thing for the kids.        Grade:  B+

 

Super2

 

Director:  Davis Guggenheim  Featuring:  Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee, Bill Strickland, Randi Weingarten, Bill Gates  Release:  2010

 

Super3     Super4

 

                                        Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

 

Super5

 

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Room1

 

The expression “so bad it’s good” is overused.  Usually, the movie in question is just plain bad.  Not this time.  Filmmaker extraordinaire Tommy Wiseau’s The Room is so magnificently rotten that it’s wonderful – bust-a-gut, pee-your-pants hilarious.

In the vain, irrepressible Wiseau, the spirit of Ed Wood lives again.  Wiseau writes, directs, produces, distributes, and stars in this labor of love, so there is no doubt about who deserves credit for this monument to schlock.  (Wiseau’s achievement is so enviable that, according to Entertainment Weekly, a script supervisor is now battling him for a directing screen credit.)

Wood, patron saint of the bad movie, would be proud of this film, because its flaws are legion:  continuity errors, drunken editing, abysmal acting, awkward love scenes, incomprehensible storytelling – it’s all here.  If Wiseau falls short of Wood’s standard, it is only because, unaccountably, the cinematography isn’t awful.  And the soundtrack isn’t bad.  But please don’t let those virtues stop you from enjoying this film.

I suppose a plot summary is in order.  Nah – there’s no point.  The story has something to do with lovable, long-haired Johnny (Wiseau), whose fiancée (Juliette Danielle) is cheating on him with his best friend.  I won’t say more, partly because it might spoil the story, and partly because the story makes absolutely no sense.        Grade:  F

 

Room2

 

Strange But True:  The deleted scenes on the DVD are much better than the actual film.  In fact, if you just saw the outtakes, you might be led to believe that The Room is a pretty decent film.

 

Room3    Room4

 

Director:  Tommy Wiseau  Cast:  Tommy Wiseau, Juliette Danielle, Greg Sestero, Philip Haldiman, Carolyn Minnott, Robyn Paris, Mike Holmes, Kyle Vogt, Greg Ellery  Release:  2003

 

Room5    Room6

 

                                           Watch the Trailer  (click here)

 

Room7    Room8

 

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by Washington Irving

Legend

 

I’ve often noticed while reading old books (pre-20th century), that two themes appear again and again:  travel on the high seas, and anything pertaining to food.  We tend to forget, in our modern supermarket lives, just how much of human history was devoted to the pursuit and preparation of something to eat.  But when we read these old books we are reminded.

“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” – along with “Rip Van Winkle,” Washington Irving’s most celebrated work – is a case in point.  Its depiction of Ichabod Crane’s ill-fated courtship of the maiden Katrina and the attack of the Headless Horseman is justifiably famous, but what struck me were the author’s loving, nearly idolatrous descriptions of food.  It’s notable that although the plot ostensibly concerns Crane’s efforts to woo Katrina, Irving’s most vivid passages are about her father’s table – and not the girl herself (although even she is described as desirably “plump,” as though she would look good beside the turkey on a platter).  Vegetarians must hate this story.

 

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RecFree

 

A Spanish television crew decides to film a routine shift at the local fire department.  When a call comes in from a nearby apartment complex, the TV-types and the firefighters get more than they bargained for – a night in hell.  This 2007 low-budget horror movie came out of nowhere and has since inspired an American remake (Quarantine), a sequel, and more to come.  Crackle is showing it free, but unfortunately the movie is dubbed into English, and there are some annoying commercials.  Watch it free by clicking here.

 

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  by Agatha Christie

Adversary

 

When I think of Agatha Christie, what comes to mind is an old English estate, with a murder or two, and a middle-aged (or elderly) sleuth on hand to unmask the villain.  In other words, I think of Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple.  With Christie, what I do not think of are wild motorcar chases on country roads, gun battles on city streets, and government papers that could trigger war.  That’s Alfred Hitchcock material, or an Ian Fleming plot.  And that’s part of the problem with The Secret Adversary, Christie’s second novel.  The story is out of her comfort zone, not so much a mystery as a frantic spy thriller.  

There is a reason that Christie’s young protagonists in this and four more books, “Tommy and Tuppence,” never attained the popularity of Poirot and Marple.  They are an amusing couple, but their adventures are wildly improbable, they enjoy amazing good luck, and they happen upon extraordinary coincidences.  There is action galore – but too few “little grey cells.”

 

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Egypt2 

 

Cheers & Jeers

Cheers to the people of Egypt, and Jeers to world leaders — presidents, prime ministers, chairmen, and dictators alike — who were demanding a “peaceful and orderly transition.”  What happened in Egypt was the realization of those leaders’ worst fear:  If the people can revolt in Egypt, they can revolt anywhere.  And that’s a frightening prospect to anyone in power.

 

Paltrow       

 

Jeers to pampered movie stars Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Aniston, who seem to believe that the media (and fans) exist only to fawn over them.  Sorry, ladies, but sometimes your poop stinks, and when it does the press will cover that, as well.

 

Simpson

 

Cheers to former Sen. Alan Simpson, who in an interview with CNN’s Candy Crowley managed to use the terms “310 million tits” and “green weenie.”

 

Fans

 

Jeers to the whining babies who missed the Super Bowl because a Texas fire department hadn’t time to inspect their stadium seats.  The reason that only the rich can afford to attend the Super Bowl is because jerks like you are willing to overpay for your seats. 

 

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Spit1

 

“A vile bag of garbage named I Spit on Your Grave is playing in Chicago theaters this weekend.  It is a movie so sick, reprehensible and contemptible that I can hardly believe it’s playing in respectable theaters.”  That’s critic Roger Ebert back in 1980, explaining the repugnance he felt for a low-budget horror film that has since gained notoriety and a cult following.

Fast-forward to October 2010.  Our man Roger finds himself reviewing yet another sexploitation movie, which he decries as a “despicable remake of the despicable 1978 film I Spit on Your Grave.”  Poor Roger.  He didn’t seem to learn much.  You’d think that after being so traumatized by the original, he might have known to avoid the remake.

Both Graves have the same plot, in which an attractive, “uppity” city girl named Jennifer is brutally gang-raped by country hooligans and then wreaks bloody vengeance on all of them.  As Ebert points out, the first half of the new film, with its prolonged sexual assault, is by far the more realistic part of the story.  Actress Sarah Butler (as Jennifer) is degraded in every imaginable way:  She is patted down by a leering sheriff, forced to fellate a bottle, has a gun barrel poked against her crotch, is anally raped, and then raped again.  Butler is shown nude during the assaults and again as she wanders dazedly through the woods.  Director Steven R. Monroe’s camera eschews modesty in favor of gratuitousness, focusing on Butler’s small breasts, bare buttocks and, in at least one fleeting close-up, her pudendum.

When it is time for Jennifer’s revenge scenes, however, Monroe preserves the male actors’ dignity.  There isn’t much nudity from the men – not even during a scene in which Jennifer uses hedge clippers to castrate one of them.  These scenes are standard gore-movie stuff, and the audience will be thinking of plaster, putty, and fake blood – certainly not about social statements.  Jennifer is not so much an empowered feminist as she is a credibility-stretching psychopath.  The frail-looking girl manages to physically overpower all of the beefy young men, and then devise Rube Goldberg-like contraptions to torture and dispatch them.

How does all of this compare to the infamous original film?  The first one was so cheap and so poorly acted (excepting Camille Keaton, who played Jennifer) that it was almost like watching a home movie.  In a way, that rawness made it even more disturbing.  The new film has much better production values, acting, and direction.  Otherwise, they are basically the same story.

Neither movie is what I’d call “horror.”  They are both fetish films, designed for people who enjoy seeing their rape fantasies enacted on screen.  Jennifer’s revenge scenes are simply an attempt to fend off social-minded critics like Roger Ebert.         Grade:  C+

 

Spit2

 

Director:  Steven R. Monroe  Cast:  Sarah Butler, Jeff Branson, Andrew Howard, Daniel Franzese, Rodney Eastman, Chad Lindberg, Tracey Walter, Mollie Milligan, Saxon Sharbino  Release:  2010

 

Spit3

Spit4            Spit5

Spit6

 

     Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

Spit7

 

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Fail

 

I’ll admit it:  Lately, I’ve been scraping the bottom of the barrel with these free flicks.  H.O.T.S. and One More Saturday Night are not exactly film-preservation candidates.  It’s becoming more difficult to ferret out quality movies that can be watched free of charge on the Internet.  All of that changes this week, because Crackle is showcasing a dynamite drama from 1964.  Check out Fail-Safe, starring Henry Fonda and Walter Matthau, free of charge by clicking here.

 

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