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22Apr

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

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Tucker & Dale vs. Evil has some of the funniest sight gags I’ve seen in a long, long time. Rookie director Eli Craig’s horror-comedy takes the redneck-slasher flick, hangs it upside down from a meat-hook, and invites us to laugh at the fallout.

Outside of a Three Stooges short, it’s probably not possible to make a movie with nonstop visual jokes, but that’s a shame because there are some doozies in this farce. After watching Tucker and Dale do their thing, seeing Leatherface brandish a chainsaw will never again seem so threatening. Alas, there is also bad news: Tucker & Dale has a plot.

Dale (Tyler Labine), one of our two hillbilly heroes, is fat and slow on the uptake, but blessed with a heart of gold. He and buddy Tucker (Alan Tudyk) want nothing more than some peace and quiet on their vacation at Tucker’s woodland cabin. When some college kids – airheads who’ve seen way too many movies – invade the boys’ West Virginia mountain retreat, we know nothing good will come of it. There will be blood – just not in the ways you might think.

One of the college kids is super-sexy-smart Allison (Katrina Bowden), a psychology student, and Dale is instantly smitten. If you’ve seen any Judd Apatow movie, you know exactly how this will turn out: In the fantasy world that Hollywood regularly offers to teenage audiences, every slob gets his girl.

Tucker & Dale runs out of steam at about its midpoint, when plot gets in the way and the movie devolves into the same kind of silly slasher flick it has been lampooning so admirably. My advice to you: Whenever the story gets talky and the dialogue turns “serious,” saunter out to the lobby and buy some popcorn, or have a smoke in front of the theater. Just try to be back in time for the sight gags. Grade: B-

Director: Eli Craig Cast: Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk, Katrina Bowden, Jesse Moss, Philip Granger, Brandon Jay McLaren, Christie Laing, Chelan Simmons, Travis Nelson Release: 2010

Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

18Apr

Free Flick of the Week: “My Favorite Brunette”

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When you think about it, comedian Bob Hope’s movie persona was one odd duck. I mean, would you trust the guy alone with your kids, much less your girlfriend? Might not your kids wind up in the microwave, and your girlfriend running for her life? Try not to think about it. Instead, watch old ski-nose in his 1947 prime, co-starring with Dorothy Lamour in My Favorite Brunette. Watch it for free by clicking here.

17Apr

Blow Out (1981)

Posted in Books, Movies, TV & Web, Oldies | 1 Comment

Brian De Palma gets no respect. De Palma directed Carrie, which some people think of as “the Stephen King movie.” He also helmed Scarface, which fans will tell you is “the Al Pacino movie.” And when De Palma wrote and directed a string of devilishly amusing, sexy thrillers in the 1980s, critics accused him of ripping off Alfred Hitchcock.

I‘m going to defend De Palma. I want to do this because I am filled with righteous indignation. De Palma, you should know, not only gave us stylish suspense: The man probably did more for the titillating shower scene than any other filmmaker in history. (Okay, with the possible exception of Bob Clark and Porky’s.)

Blow Out, which puts a movie sound-effects whiz played by John Travolta in the middle of a political assassination and cover-up, is certainly Hitchcockian. We have the hero (Travolta) whom no one will believe; the attractive, none-too-happy love interest (Nancy Allen, De Palma’s wife) who is tricked into a conspiracy; and a MacGuffin – who, exactly, is responsible for the crime?

The plot may be Hitchcock, but the movie’s striking visuals are pure De Palma. No one utilized slow-motion, tracking shots, split screen, and color quite like he did. It’s a compliment to the director when a viewer can absorb five minutes of a film and conclude, “This must be a De Palma movie.” And, oh, the dramatic music in this film. Composer Pino Donaggio’s soaring strings are ear-popping, yes, but they gel perfectly with the operatic visuals.

Blow Out isn’t De Palma’s best thriller (my vote goes to Body Double). Allen, as Travolta’s ditzy comrade-in-arms, is no Eva Marie Saint. The story’s frantic climax is a feast for the eyes – but it’s also over-the-top silly.

But when you watch a De Palma production you tend to forgive his indulgences because you feel like you’re watching a Hollywood movie – well-crafted and meant to be enjoyed. And did I mention that no one did better shower scenes? Grade: B

Director: Brian De Palma Cast: John Travolta, Nancy Allen, John Lithgow, Dennis Franz, Peter Boyden, Missy Cleveland, Cindy Manion, Missy O’Shea, Marcy Bigelman, Ann Kelly Release: 1981

Watch the Trailer (click here)

16Apr

The Weekly Review: April 10 – 16

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Quote of the Week Number 1: “I’m not sticking with people who are homophobic, anti-women, you know, moral values while you’re diddling your secretary, while you’re giving a speech on moral values. Come on, get off of it.” — former Sen. Alan Simpson.

Quote of the Week Number 2: “That’s all you need.” — Walter Breuning, at age 114 the world’s oldest man until he died Thursday, stating his belief that people should get by on just two meals a day.

Quote of the Week Number 3: “These aren’t special people.” — comedian Jerry Seinfeld dissing British royals and the circus atmosphere of the upcoming nuptials.

Quote of the Week Number 4: “Life is just a game. When we get too serious about it, we fail.” — tweet from Kirstie Alley, who has never been a struggling single mother with two part-time jobs.

*****

Gold Diggers of the Week, Part 1: An appeals court ruled that Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss cannot undo their 2008 settlement with Mark Zuckerberg, which gave the twin brothers a $20 million cash payment and part-ownership of Facebook.

CNN legal analyst Sunny Hostin gushed to Brooke Baldwin — twice — that the court ruling was too bad because the Winklevoss boys are so “cute.” To this humble reporter, the twins look more Herman Munster than cute.

Gold Diggers of the Week, Part 2: Jenn Sterger, who decided her silence about Brett Favre and Penisgate had gone on long enough. Who will show this former Playboy model the money?

*****

Whiner of the Week: Justin Bieber tweeting about pesky photographers during a layover in Israel: “You would think paparazzi would have some respect in holy places. All I wanted was the chance to walk where Jesus did here in Israel.”

Justin might have been distraught after news broke that tween sensation Rebecca Black’s “Friday” reached 100 million views on YouTube.

*****

Asshole of the Week: Republican Paul Ryan. Just because.

*****

Headline of the Week:

*****

Poor Housing Choice of the Week: Trailers. God must really, really hate trailers.

14Apr

The Arrival (1996)

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One critic described 1996’s The Arrival as an update of the 1950s science-fiction B-movie, and I think that’s an apt comparison. What elevates The Arrival above the likes of Killers from Space and Devil Girl from Mars, however, is Charlie Sheen.

Paunchy, bearded, and bespectacled, Sheen in this film is no macho Arnold, Sylvester, or Jean-Claude; he is more like the poor man’s Cary Grant. Sheen’s “Zane Zaminsky,” a radio astronomer who stumbles upon an intergalactic plot by aliens, is forever befuddled, belittled, and beset by co-workers, authorities and, well, by life in general. But Zaminsky has charm and – as the real-life Sheen has discovered – a little bit of charisma can take you a long way.

The Arrival is a frenetic action flick with a story that begins promisingly but eventually sinks into plot holes and head-scratching hokum as Zaminsky tries to expose an alien scheme to “terraform” Earth. The technologically advanced aliens –they can morph into human form and communicate light-years in a matter of seconds – for some odd reason seem to favor 18th-century methods for exterminating their human foes. Why laser a threat when you can plant scorpions in her bed? Why vaporize Zaminsky when you can concoct a Rube Goldberg-like assassination using bathtubs and collapsing hotel floors?

All of this is claptrap, but it matters not because it’s so much fun watching Sheen as he bumbles, stumbles and freaks out over the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that are thrown in his direction. It’s a “winning” formula for Charlie, if not the movie itself. Grade: B-

Director: David Twohy Cast: Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Crouse, Richard Schiff, Ron Silver, Teri Polo, Tony T. Johnson, Phyllis Applegate Release: 1996

Watch the Trailer (click here)

12Apr

I Forgive You, AMC

Posted in Books, Movies, TV & Web, TV | 2 Comments

I am finally ready to kiss and make up with AMC. We dissolved our relationship about ten years ago – mostly due to AMC’s unfaithfulness – but the network has done a lot of growing up, and I dislike holding a grudge. But first, some history:

In the 1980s and 1990s – long before TCM was even a twinkle in Ted Turner’s eye – American Movie Classics was a cinephile’s delight, an oasis of uncut, unedited, commercial-free movies from Hollywood’s “golden age.” On no other channel could you find 1944’s The Uninvited, blessedly free of interruptions for vitamin sales, or Ilsa’s dramatic parting from Rick, sans “a brief pause for a word from our sponsor.” I was in love with AMC.

And then in 2002 AMC did the unthinkable, dumping its subscriber-based format and leaping into the ad-fueled TV cesspool. At first, like a suspicious lipstick stain on its collar, just a few commercials appeared on AMC. But then there were more, and more, and more ….

AMC began airing what it called “classics” from the 1990s and 2000s. All of them were hacked to pieces and censored for content. In other words, AMC was feeding us the same ad-driven drivel that we got on every other channel. This was a betrayal of film buffs, an unforgivable sin. I had to leave AMC.

So when the cable channel’s Mad Men began to generate buzz several years ago, I ignored it. I was pouting, playing hard-to-get. I did watch the first season of Breaking Bad and, grudgingly, I had to admit it was a pretty good show. But now, with the recent additions of Rubicon (already cancelled; but hey, relationship recovery always has a few bumps), The Walking Dead, and The Killing … all is, at long last, forgiven. Give us a kiss, AMC.

Rubicon: This was an intelligent, well-acted puzzler about analysts at a CIA-like think tank. The short-lived series eschewed car chases, shoot-‘em-ups, and sex. So need I explain why it tanked in the ratings? It’s too bad, though, because James Badge Dale was an intriguing leading man, and the supporting cast – especially Michael Cristofer as the sputtering, truculent head of the think tank – was superb. But there were too many scenes set around a table in a conference room, and not much comic relief. Who wants to be reminded of work? Grade: B+

The Walking Dead: Of AMC’s new series, this one is the least mainstream and the most likely to be sustained by a “cult” following. I mean, it’s a show about zombies, for crying out loud. And yet, often it isn’t about the crumbling cadavers. Blood, gore and ghoulish gallopers are mostly in the background, an ominous ambience to the real drama, which is about a group of bickering, bantering, all-too-human survivors. Grade: B

The Killing: The jury is still out on this most-recent AMC series, but I like what I’ve seen in the first three episodes. Seattle, of all places, has never seemed so atmospheric, bringing to mind 1940s film noir as cops Mireille Enos and Joel Kinnaman try to solve the murder of a teenage girl. As with Rubicon and The Walking Dead, this series draws you in because – imagine it! – someone at AMC must really believe in the network’s slogan: “story matters.” Grade: B+

11Apr

Free Flick of the Week: “Ghostbusters”

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The bad news: Janet Maslin of the New York Times didn’t much like Ghostbusters. The legendary critic sniped, “Its jokes, characters and story line are as wispy as the ghosts themselves, and a good deal less substantial.” All quite true. The good news? Everyone else loved it. Who you gonna believe? Check it out, free of charge, by clicking here.

09Apr

The Weekly Review: April 3 – 9

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I had to laugh at Southwest Airlines and the passengers aboard a Boeing 737 last week when a hole suddenly opened in the roof of the cabin. The passengers, although unhurt, were terrified. Good. That makes me smile. Why am I so tickled?

Because it turns out that in the old days, safety inspectors could detect “micro-cracks” in the fuselage by the appearance of nicotine stains around the cracks. When airlines banned smoking, the stains disappeared, making the job of inspectors that much more difficult.

Gasped an incredulous Megyn Kelly on Fox News, “In a way, we were safer when people were smoking on the airplanes?” Replied a news correspondent: “In a way, we were.”

Said blogger Emile Husson on Over the Horizon: “It makes you wonder how many times second-hand smoke has saved the lives of airline passengers.”

Amen.

*****

Apparently, most people are more concerned about the looming NFL lockout. At least we have our priorities in order.

*****

I generally admire MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, but if she wants to expand her ratings, she needs to spend less time catering to her base with pet projects like gays in the military, The Defense of Marriage Act, and other issues that, really, affect just a miniscule percent of the population.

*****

Good riddance, Katie Couric. The anchor role, for better or worse, demands a certain gravitas, not this perky “look at me, mom!” cheerleader persona that Couric projects. And in case you consider that a sexist slam at female anchors, I believe that Diane Sawyer has the right stuff over at ABC.

*****

Eva Longoria on David Letterman’s show: Wow. Now that is a sexist comment.

*****

This picture of Jack Nicholson in The Shining has nothing to do with anything. We just like it.

08Apr

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion

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A notorious outline for Jewish world domination, Protocols is generally dismissed as a fraud. Scholars say that Jewish plotters, as implied by these “minutes,” did not secretly meet in the late 19th century, and that this book’s text was cobbled together from earlier material dreamed up by some anonymous instigator. I don’t know that it matters whether the meeting was a complete fabrication. What matters is that the ideas expressed in Protocols influenced everyone from Henry Ford to Adolf Hitler to Bobby Fischer – and those ideas continue to attract certain factions today.

The components of this preachy, vague publication (specifics are rarely mentioned) are well known: Gentiles are sheep, an inferior people destined for manipulation and governance by the “chosen people.” Jews will use their control of global finance, the press, and political puppets to sow discord and eventually rule the world. You know, like what Hitler tried to do.

07Apr

Swept Away (1974)

Posted in Books, Movies, TV & Web, Oldies | 1 Comment

On the surface (and in the water), Italian director Lina Wertmuller’s Swept Away seems a rather traditional, comic battle of the sexes. The African Queen with subtitles, perhaps, or The War of the Roses with prettier scenery.

But Wertmuller’s 1974 film has some radical takes on some old ideas: Does “no” always mean “no” when it comes to sex? Is feminism a desirable progression for humanity – or does it upset the “natural” scheme of things? Does capitalism rock – or does it knock down the little guy, creating an undeserving, privileged upper class?

Rafaella (Mariangela Melato) is a wealthy industrialist’s wife enjoying a Mediterranean yacht expedition with friends when a mishap maroons her on a desolate island with Gennarino (Giancarlo Giannini), a left-leaning, lower-class deckhand.

Rafaella, who makes no secret of her political views, could be described as 1) a beacon of feminism, a go-getter with little sympathy for anyone lacking her ambition and drive, or 2) a pampered bitch. Gennarino, who must (grudgingly) cater to Rafaella’s every whim, could be described as 1) a victim of an unfair social system, a hard-working “man of the people,” or 2) a male chauvinist pig.

When this political odd couple is stranded on an island, hilarity ensues – but not for long. Swept Away takes on a darker, more serious tone when the two castaways find their roles reversed, with newly liberated Gennarino more than happy to turn class warfare on its head. The deckhand quickly turns to physical intimidation – including sexual assault – in his attempts to induce Rafaella’s submission.

At this point, political correctness tells us that we should clearly side with the woman, right? Not so fast – because as I’ve said, Wertmuller (who also wrote the script) has some unorthodox views of the situation.

In the end, the real battle is between realism and romanticism. I’ll let you guess which character turns out to be the romantic, and which the realist. Grade: A-

Director: Lina Wertmuller Cast: Giancarlo Giannini, Mariangela Melato, Riccardo Salvino, Isa Danieli, Aldo Puglisi Release: 1974

Watch a Clip (click here)