Here’s another classic movie that I haven’t seen – but you should watch it. You should also brush your teeth three times a day, donate to charity, and be nice to your dog. But seriously … Cinema Paradiso, winner of the 1989 Oscar for best foreign film, sounds like a real charmer. I plan to watch it soon. You can watch it now by clicking here.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
by Janet Evanovich
More of the same from the Evanovich moneymaking machine that is the Stephanie Plum series. There are some very funny bits involving the goofball “Mooner,” but otherwise this entry is interchangeable with the 15th book, or the 14th, or the 13th ….
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Say it ain’t so! Bad news for fans of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum books: Debbie Reynolds has been cast to play Grandma Mazur in the film version of One for the Money, the first novel in the series.
Nothing against Reynolds, but I’ve always pictured Grandma Mazur as a spindly, geriatric dynamo, much like “Granny” in the old Playboy cartoons (above). Reynolds (below) looks like a well-fed, glamorous movie star — because that’s what she is.
Also, the former Mrs. Eddie Fisher annoys me. She spends too much time on talk shows either upstaging daughter Carrie Fisher or denigrating her deceased ex, Eddie. Not classy.
*****
I love Netflix. It was great to get unlimited DVDs and streaming video for ten bucks a month. But man … a sixty percent price increase? That reeks of a company thinking, “We dominate the market, so we can squeeze the hell out of our customers.”
*****
Fox News carries on its tradition of “fair and balanced” programming by pitting one lonely liberal (Bob Beckel) against four conservatives on the new talk show, The Five.
Fox used to do this on Hannity & Colmes, booking conservative guests so that they and Hannity could gang up on Colmes. Apparently even one liberal was one too many for that show, which eventually dumped Colmes.
I hate to admit it, but The Five’s hook-nosed Andrea Tantaros is sexy, in a bitchy, chubby-thighed sort of way. Tantaros instills an urge in me to buy duct tape, handcuffs, and a paddle — just for play, mind you. Co-host Greg Gutfeld is funnier on his other Fox show, Red Eye, than he is on The Five, where he comes off as a narcissistic little turd. Bush press secretary Dana Perino does her best heartless mannequin/Stepford wife impersonation, and the fifth guy on the panel … who is he?
If The Five catches on, it will be thanks to the opposites-detract interplay of Beckel and Gutfeld. That and the gams of whichever female is seated in the “legs chair.”
*****
Speaking of “fair and balanced,” Fox News has been all over the Rupert Murdoch scandal, hasn’t it? (You too, Piers Morgan.)
*****
Just when you thought the news was all bad, something comes along to make Butt Men rejoice:
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
I smiled a lot during Annie Hall, but I never really laughed. I liked the main characters, New York comedian Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) and Midwestern transplant Annie Hall (Diane Keaton), and they kept me amused, but when the two lovers eventually broke up, I can’t say that I was particularly sad (or surprised).
I suspect that the more you personally relate to Allen’s autobiographical Alvy – i.e., you are a) a New Yorker; b) Jewish; c) nerdish; d) intellectual; or e) a neurotic artist-type – the more you’ll enjoy his signature film.
Alvy is the kind of guy who is entertaining in small doses, but a complete headache for any prolonged period of time. This is what Annie eventually comes to realize, but not until after she endures a rocky relationship that comes under the psychoanalytic microscope of professional shrinks and – incessantly – Alvy himself.
Keaton is adorably quirky in the title role, but the movie should really have been called Alvy Singer. Annie is on hand to serve as a sounding board for Alvy’s constant ruminations. He has choice barbs for Los Angeles, the Midwest, pseudo-intellectuals, love, sex, and fame. His best pokes come when he’s deflating pompous, left-wing intelligentsia.
But I didn’t blame Annie for wanting to escape. There’s not a whole lot of emotional sustenance to be gotten from a neurotic know-it-all, and this odd couple was mismatched from the start. Alvy/Woody amused me for the film’s 94-minute duration but, like Annie, eventually I felt that enough was enough. Grade: B
Director: Woody Allen Cast: Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Tony Roberts, Carol Kane, Paul Simon, Shelley Duvall, Janet Margolin, Colleen Dewhurst, Christopher Walken Release: 1977
Watch the Trailer (click here)
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
No, this story has nothing to do with Quentin Tarantino’s alleged foot fetish. And no, I have not seen it, myself. But you should watch it because it has a perfect, 100-percent “fresh” rating from critics at rottentomatoes.com. It’s the true story of a man afflicted with cerebral palsy, and it snagged a Best Actor Oscar for Daniel Day-Lewis. If you like it let me know, and maybe I’ll watch it, too. Click here to watch it for free.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
I didn’t pay much attention to the Casey Anthony trial until this past week, but holy hot-tubs, this courtroom drama is making the O.J. Simpson trial look like a routine episode of Judge Judy. It’s going to make one helluva book and movie.
Winners and Losers:
No winners. Not even Casey. O.J. managed to avoid the wrath of an angry public after his acquittal, so Anthony should, too. But what kind of life will she lead? I predict one of two futures for her: a one-way ticket to a foreign country, or more infamy in the world of porn.
Losers: Cable’s HLN. What an embarrassment of unprofessional, whining babies. When the Not Guilty verdict was announced, HLN’s assortment of anchors, lawyers, and other fools reacted as if they’d been kneed in the collective crotch. These TV “experts” did not sit on the jury, yet five minutes before the verdict they felt qualified to assure the nation that Anthony would be found guilty. Five minutes after the verdict they assured the nation that they could explain exactly what had gone wrong.
Worst Offenders: HLN’s Mike Galanos, Jane Velez-Mitchell, and Nancy (dis)Grace. Honorable Mention goes to Fox resident egomaniac Bill O’Reilly who, after admitting to paying scant attention to the trial, stated unequivocally that he knew what really went down, and that the jury was composed of fools.
This is what I learned from the trial:
And finally, no one knows who fathered Caylee Anthony. Is it any wonder that the jury found reasonable doubt?
*****
Thank goodness we have another kind of “reality TV,” the kind that actually makes sense. I am referring, of course, to the new season of CBS’s Big Brother. There is much suspense to be found in the fake backyard of the BB set: What will happen if the houseguests run out of cigarettes? Who will be the next houseguest “accidentally” caught undressing by the CBS cameras?
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Yeah, I know. Shia LaBeouf is no James Stewart, Sarah Roemer is no Grace Kelly, and director D.J. Caruso will never be mistaken for Alfred Hitchcock. But I like their movie Disturbia, anyway.
In this 2007 reboot of Hitchcock’s Rear Window, LaBeouf stars as Kale, a high school senior who, following the tragic death of his father, acts out in such an aggressive manner that he is sentenced to house arrest, confined to his messy bedroom, his electronic toys – and the dubious pleasure of spying on his suburban neighbors. One of those neighbors turns out to be a serial killer, but will anyone believe bad boy Kale’s story?
Yes, this tale was told much better in Rear Window, but if you don’t go into Disturbia expecting “instant classic,” you will have a voyeuristic good time. That’s because Caruso does a fine job blending John Hughes-inspired teen comedy with Hitchcock-style suspense.
The movie also works because LaBeouf – think what you will of his off-camera exploits – has charisma out the caboose. Caruso said that in casting his young star, he was seeking an actor “who guys would really like and respond to, because he wasn’t going to be such a pretty boy.” Mission accomplished. I can’t imagine Robert Pattinson carrying this film.
LaBeouf has some solid support. David Morse, as menacing neighbor Mr. Turner, is good enough to make you forget Window’s murderous Raymond Burr. Roemer, although no model of sophistication, a la Kelly, would make any teen boy hyperventilate (not to mention, ahem, some older males).
But Disturbia is LaBeouf’s movie. His Kale is troubled, intense, insecure, and sometimes annoying. He is also compulsively watchable. Hell, I even liked his messy bedroom. Grade: B
Director: D.J. Caruso Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Sarah Roemer, Carrie-Anne Moss, David Morse, Aaron Yoo, Jose Pablo Cantillo, Matt Craven, Viola Davis Release: 2007
Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
It’s July 4, so why not celebrate German history by watching the gripping, claustrophobic war drama, Das Boot? Watch it free by clicking here. For those of you who prefer something a bit more highbrow, we offer the original Men in Black. Click here to watch it free.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
by Spencer Quinn
Some people never seem to learn – especially me. I’ve been burned before by Stephen King book recommendations, but I didn’t let that stop me from suckering in after reading this King description of Dog on It: “Yeah, it’s cute, but not too. There’s a real mystery here, and great suspense as well.”
This detective story narrated by a dog is cute alright – way cute, and I say that even though I like dogs. As for the alleged “mystery” and “great suspense,” well, I suppose so, if you are still into the Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew. Dog on It is the first book in a series about the crime-fighting duo of Chet (the dog) and Bernie (the human), and it’s fitfully amusing, but that’s all.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Tom Petty asked Michele Bachmann to stop using his song, “American Girl,” on the campaign trail. Petty also requested that George Bush stop using Petty music during a Bush campaign. Must be a tough job for whoever selects Republican campaign music, because unless you are into country, most popular music is created by liberals.
*****
A hidden camera caught Chris Hansen cheating on his wife. Good. I’m all for busting child molesters, but to me Hansen’s To Catch a Predator reeks of illegal entrapment.
*****
I’m tired of Kim Kardashian and her worthless family. I mention Her Assness because as I write this, she and her dumb-jock boyfriend are just a few miles from me, attending a baseball game at Target Field, and I think I just heard thunder. If I am wrong about that and the sound is instead Kim experiencing flatulence, then these could be the last words I ever type.
*****
Dickipedia — an amusing site. It seems to be an equal-opportunity abuser.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
